Old Jews Telling Jokes
7 old jews telling jokes and hilarious old jews telling puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about old jews telling that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Share These Old Jews Telling Jokes With Friends
Cheerful Old Jews Telling Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What is a good old jews telling joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Joke I heard from a 109 year old Holocaust survivor
A Jew gets to heaven after passing and meets god. The Jew tells god a Holocaust joke, but god doesn't laugh. The Jew shrugs and says, "I guess you had to be there to understand".
An old Jew is on his deathbed.
A 90 year-old Jew is on his deathbed. Summoning his last bit of strength, he lifts his head and whispers: "Is my beloved wife Sarah here with me?" And Sarah says, "Yes, I am here."
He then says: "Are my children -- my wonderful children -- are they here with me?" And they reply, "Yes father, we are here with you to see you breathe your last."
And he says: "Are my brothers and sisters here with me as well?" And they too tell him that they are here.
So the old man lays back quietly, closes his eyes, and says, "If everybody is here ... why is the light on in the kitchen?"
An old Jewish man walked in to a hotel...
and asked to rent a room. The clerk said, "Sorry, no vacancies." The man pointed at a couple who were checking out and asked, "What about their room?"
"Sorry," the clerk said, "this hotel is restricted. No Jews allowed."
The old man, looking to have a little fun, said "What makes you think I'm a Jew? I'm actually Catholic."
The clerk says, "Catholic, eh? Tell me then, did God have a son?"
"Sure," the old Jew says, "Name of Jesus."
"And where was He born?"
"In Bethlehem, in a manger."
"And why was He born in a manger?" pressed the clerk.
"Because a s**... like you wouldn't rent him a room!"
Equally Logical - Jewish parable from 1948
A group of n**... surrounded an elderly Berlin Jew and demanded of him, "Tell us Jew, who caused the war?"
The little Jew was no fool. "The Jews," he said, then added, "and the bicycle riders."
The n**... were puzzled. "Why the bicycle riders?"
"Why the Jews?" answered the little old man.
Holocaust Joke
An old Jew dies and goes to Heaven.
He asks if God wants to hear a holocaust joke.
God agrees and the man tells the joke.
God says, "That wasn't funny. It was offensive."
The Jew pauses and replies "I guess you had to be there."
An elderly Jew bolts into a church confessional
St Patrick's Cathedral. He pulls the curtain and says , Father. My name is Saul Hershkowitz. I'm 73 years old and I've been with a 22 year old girl. The priest says Saul, wait a minute. You're Jewish. Why are you telling me this? And the man says Hey Father, I'm telling everybody
Rabbi Dies and Goes to Heaven
An old Rabbi dies and goes to heaven.
God meets him at the pearly gates, and says,
Schlomo - you've been a good Jew. Your ticket to heaven will be easy. All you need to do is tell me a joke.
Schlomo thinks this is such a great opportunity. So, he tells God a long, drawn out joke about h**... and all the Jews he killed in the holocaust.
Even though he's all knowing, God says, I don't get it.
Schlomo says, I guess you should have been there.
Share These Old Jews Telling Jokes With Friends