Old Age Jokes
96 old age jokes and hilarious old age puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about old age that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Old Age Short Jokes
Short old age jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The old age humour may include short getting old jokes also.
- There are two kinds of people who care a lot about their exact age. Small children and 39 year old's.
- A 60 year old billionaire walks into a bar with his gorgeous 25 year old wife Friend: How did she marry you?
Billionaire: I lied about my age
Friend: You said 45?
Billionaire: No! I said 90! - Made up by my elementary-aged kid: How do old people line up? In an elderly fashion. (So proud)
- Vaccinated babies are 10 times more likely to die from heart disease, cancer, and alzheimer's. Keep kids from dying from old age, stop vaccinating today.
- The average age to lose your virginity is 17 years old I'm finally above average for something
- I've been talking to a 13 year old girl for about 2 weeks now We've been texting a lot lately and she just told me she's an undercover cop, that's quite impressive for her age.
- My dad is never proud of anything I do. Dad: Son, how old are you?
Son: 19.
Dad: When I was your age, I was 20. - Been chatting and flirting with this 14 year old chick Now she tells me she's an undercover cop. How freakin' cool is that for someone her age.
- I just read the average age to lose your virginity is 17 years old. I'm finally above average for something.
- I went to a party dressed as an egg and I hooked up with a guy dressed as a chicken.
I guess we have an answer to that age old question.
It was the chicken.
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Old Age One Liners
Which old age one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with old age? I can suggest the ones about old people and old folks.
- CIA finally succeeded in killing Fidel Castro Using the innovative 'Old age' technique
- Yo mama so old... ... I told her to act her age, and she died.
- If Abraham Lincoln were alive today, what would he be famous for? Old age
- I don't know how to act my age I've never been this old before.
- Found my old copy of Picture of Dorian Gray in the attic It has not aged well.
- The secret to having a smoking hot body in old age? Cremation.
- My old school was sponsored by IKEA... Assembly took ages.
- What's the only thing in Australia that won't kill you? Old Age
- What's the best part of old age? It doesn't last very long.
- What did grandma say to the old fountain? You aged well!
- Le Pen honored an age old French tradition. Losing.
- Yo mamma so old she pre-order the bible.
- If George Washington were alive today, what would he be famous for? Old age!
- What is a 100-year-old's favorite metal band? Age Against the Machine.
- How does an old pirate say his age? I' Matey
Old Age Birthday Jokes
Here is a list of funny old age birthday jokes and even better old age birthday puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- How old was the cave man on his birthday? Stone Age
- How old would you be if you didn't know how old you was?
- Happy Birthday! You're now living proof of the old saying that "Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men."
- You know you're getting old when you have more candles on your cake than friends at your birthday party.
- I'd like to say the best moment of a woman's life is giving birth, but it's actually seeing an old nemesis and realizing she got really fat.
Old Age Pensioner Jokes
Here is a list of funny old age pensioner jokes and even better old age pensioner puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I wrote a poem called "Old Age Pensioner's Underwear". Rose's are red
Violet's are blue
Ethel's are green - Old Age Pensioner's Knickers roses are red.
violets are blue.
ethyls are green.


Howlingly Hilarious Old Age Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening
What funny jokes about old age you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean older people jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make old age pranks.
My grandfather swore by adding a spoonful of gunpowder to his tea every morning.
He said it was a very old remedy to help him live longer, and it worked: he lived to the ripe old age of ninety-seven.
He left a widow, two children, fourteen grandchildren and a fifty-foot crater where the crematorium used to be.
THE BATHTUB TEST: During a visit to my doctors I asked him . . .
"How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"
"Well" he said, "We fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a tea cup and a bucket to the person and ask them to empty the bathtub"
"Oh, I understand" I said "Because a normal person would use the bucket as it's bigger then the spoon or the teacup"
"No" he said "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window or the door?"
A 100 year old Japanese man is being interviewed for a newspaper piece about extreme old age
and the reporter asks "do you think there's any merit to the stereotype that people from this village live a lot longer than others?"
The old man thinks for a second and says "you know, I'm not sure. Let me go ask my dad". And the reporter, stunned, stammers "y-your dad? Where is he right now??" and the old man says "I think he's out fishing with my grandpa".
My grandpa used to sprinkle a tablespoon of gunpowder on his eggs every morning.
Said it gave him energy through the day. When he died at the ripe old age of 96, he left behind a grieving wife, 6 children, 14 grandchildren, 3 great grandchildren and a 25 foot hole in the side of the crematorium.
A Christian, a Muslim, and a Jew are sentenced to death. The warden lets them choose the method.
The Christian says "a firing squad would be painless. I choose that." In comes a firing squad and *bang* they kill him.
The Muslim says "yes, that does seem to be quick. I also choose the firing squad." *Bang*. He, too, is killed.
The warden says to the Jew, "and how do you want to die?"
And he responds "old age".
The secret of long life
A young man met a cowboy who was 104, still active and in good health. He asked the old-timer what the secret was to his longevity.
The old man said, "You gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your oatmeal every morning see. If you do, you'll live to a nice, ripe old age."
So the young man did this religiously every day for the rest of his life, and sure enough, lived to the age of 100.
When he died he left behind 6 children, 10 grandchildren, 56 great-grandchildren...and a 16 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
A 94 year old man decided to divorce his 93 old wife...
They went to the lawyer together. When he asked why they were divorcing at such an old age, the woman replied, "We wanted to wait until the kids were dead".
A question for your doctor
During a visit to my doctor, I asked him, "How do you determine whether or not an older person should be put in an old age home?"
"Well," he said, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the person to empty the bathtub."
"Oh, I understand," I said. "A normal person would use the bucket because it is bigger than the spoon or the teacup.."
"No" he said. "A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?"
Secret to long life
A cowboy told his grandson the secret to a long life is to sprinkle a little gunpowder into your oatmeal.
The grandson took his words seriously and ate gunpowder sprinkled oatmeal everyday. He lived to the ripe old age of 96.
When he died, he left behind 4 children, 9 grandchildren, 13 great grandchildren and one 16 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.
Obama walks into a bar.....
Some time passes after the 2016 US Presidential election, and Barack Obama passes away from old age. He gets bored after a while in heaven, and asks God if he can return to Earth for a while to see how the good ole' US of A is turning out. God agrees.
Obama returns to Brooklyn, and walks into a bar, ordering a beer. He asks the barkeep "How's the country? How are foreign affairs? Any problems currently being faced?"
"Oh, nothing at all, sir. We're an empire now. We're successful."
"But what about Iraq and Afghanistan? Those were t**... hotspots not too long ago?"
"We control it now. We're an empire. Everything is good."
"But what about Europe, Asia, and their financial crises?"
"That too has been taken care of. We are now finally an empire."
Pleased at the outlook of the country he once led, Obama asks the bartender for the bill:
"65 rubles, sir", replies the bartender.
A couple at the nursing home
So two residents at the old age home are about to hook up. They're getting all hot and heavy in the woman's room.
Suddenly, she stops and says to the man, "Before we go any further, I should tell you I have acute angina."
To which the man replies reassuringly, "At my age, I don't care *what* it looks like."
Little Jonny was sitting on a park bench enjoying a cigarette.
A woman stopped, excuse me young man, but I'll have you know that those can take years off of your life.
No disrespect ma'am, but I'll have you know that my grandfather lived to the ripe old age of 104.
Did he smoke also?
No, he minded his own f\*\*king business.
The NHS has just revealed a list of long-term side effects of vaccines!
- Old age
- grey hair
- General decrease of diseases
I guess all that phone s**... has caught up to me in my old age,
I now have Hearing AIDS
An 80 year old couple are talking with each other
"I've heard your memory is the first to go in old age," says the old man.
"I've heard your hearing is the first to go," says the old woman.
"What did you say?" he asks.
"I can't remember," she says.
Humans are like grapes...
Grapes are green or purple, and a human has colors too. A grape is picked, and eaten by a human. Then we die of old age. I'm not good with metaphors.
A mugger approaches an Irish man
He points his gun and says, "Your money or your life!"
The Irishman replies, "Take me life. I'm saving me money for me old age."
What are three signs old age?
1. Becoming forgetful
Old Age Fun
Told to me by my 80 year old mother. Elizabeth and Gladys were stuck in an older folks home and bored to tears. So they decided to have a little fun and excitement. They go into the closet and s**... n**.... Then they run through the card room were two old fellas are playing cards. Tom saids to Jim why did you see that? Jim says yes... well what did they have on?.... I don't know, but it sure needed ironed
A Holocaust survivor dies of old age and goes to heaven.
He tells God a Holocaust joke.
God replies, That's not funny.
He replies, I guess you had to be there.
Don't worry about old age.
It doesn't last that long.
They say you shrink when you get older
My grandma lost a foot in her old age, but i think it had something to do with diabetes.
My n**... Days Are Over
My n**... days are over, my pilot light is out.
What used to be my s**... appeal, is now my waterspout.
Time was when, on its own accord, from my trousers it would spring,
But now I've got a full-time job, to find the blasted thing.
It used to be embarrassing, the way it would behave.
For every single morning, it would stand and watch me shave.
Now as old age approaches, it sure gives me the blues,
to see it hang its little head, and watch me tie my shoes!
A gorilla dies of old age at the zoo.
His name wasn't Harambe.
What's the biggest advantage of being a s**...?
Not having to set aside money for your old age.
In my old age, I am like a fine wine...
Fifteen percent alcohol by volume.
Mom's unintentional dirty joke
One night my brother and I were talking to my mom about how my brothers dog is always on the couch.
Mom: "You need to teach your dog to stay off the furniture when you're here with her, your dad will agree."
Brother: "Dad was the first one to let her get on the couch."
Me: "Wow dad is getting soft in his old age."
Mom: "Oh whatever your father is always soft when you boys aren't around."
Layers of unintentional dirtyness
They say you shrink when you get older.
My grandma lost a foot in her old age, but I think that was more so due to the gangrene.
I was just diagnosed with tetanus
Guess I'm gettimg rusty in my old age
Two old timers were playing chess in the park. The first one says: "know what I did yesterday? I went to the girls..."
"At your old age?" Says the second one as he cuts him off. "How was it?" He asks in anticipation
"Much nicer than the boys"
A man in ancient Egypt commits a crime. The Pharaoh says "The penalty for your crime is death." "How would like to die?"
"Death by old age"
After the last few died of old age, the Christian Congregation decides to take on some younger ministers
They're moving onto greener pastors
A woman told her doctor.
A woman told her doctor, I have got a bad back.
The doctor said, It's old age.
The woman said, I want second opinion.
The Doctor says, Ok, you are ugly as well.
That building is so tall...
that if you jumped from the roof, you would die of old age.
Old age
An old man went to the doctor for his annual check up.
The doctor asks the old man to show him his s**... organs.
The old man sticks out his tongue and shows him two fingers.
I've definitely started to like the dentist more in my old age.
thisargfhtthooswagjk is always the right answer.
Old age doesn't cause s**... dysfunction.
Marriage does.
Old age homes s**...
people are dying to get out of there.
The minute the great man dies, cryogenics should be employed until a cure is found for old age and chest problems...
Freeze Nelson Mandela!
My aunt died, God bless her, at a ripe old age of 104.
We called her Aunt Tique.
Doctor: "Tell your wife not to worry about the slight deafness. It is only an indication of old age."
Husband: "Doctor, would you yourself please tell this to her?"
Eating at McDonald's has plenty of health benefits.
For instance, it would prevent you from dying of old age.
Old age and some talent.
"Orton": yo "Quinn" how do you "Pee" on this side when your thingy is on the other side
Quinn: Old age mostly and some talent. They call this OPQ syndrome.
Children are the leading cause of old age.
A man with pain on his right knee consulted his doctor.
Doctor said: "It is nothing to worry about. It is due to old age."
Patient: "The left knee is of the same age. But how is it that leg does not pain?"
A young woman for whom a marriage with an old man was being arranged by her parents refused to go through with the ceremony because as she put it, " I don't want to feel old age creeping on me!"
Building contractor
This building contractor dies in a tragic accident on his 40th birthday.
He ends up heaven where he's greeted at the Pearly Gates by a brass band and Saint Peter.
Saint Peter shakes the guys hand and says congratulations!
The contractor is a little confused and says congratulations for what?
Congratulations for what!? says Saint Peter.
We're celebrating the fact you lived to the grand old age of 160.
The contractor says, But that's not right. I only lived to be 40.
That's impossible, says Saint Peter. We added up your time sheets!
Why did the drunk old man die?
Old age.
My grandmother tagged me in a comment on Facebook.
I guess you could say she is an Old Age Mentioner
Three old women are commiserating...
Myrtle, Edith and Bertha are sitting around commiserating about the pitfalls of old age. Myrtle says, "The other day, I was in the bathroom with one leg in the tub, and I couldn't remember if I was stepping in or stepping out!". Then Edith chimes in, "Well that's nothing! The other day I was at the bottom of the stairs and I didn't know if I was going up or had just come down!". Bertha looks at both of them and chuckles. "Well, I don't have any of these problems, knock on wood!" she leans over and knocks on the wood of the coffee table, and a moment later calls out, "Yes?! Who is it?"
An old arab in the USA want's to plant potatoes,...
... but being the old age that he is, he cannot. He is sad, so he writes an e-mail to his son, whose studying in London.
"Hello, Ahmad, I'm sad. I'd want to plant potatoes, but I'm old and weak"
The son replies soon:
"DAD, DO NOT DIG IN THE GARDEN!! YOU'LL FIND THE THING!!!"
A week passes, and FBI agents arrive at his house. They dig through every centimetre in the garden, but they found nothing. They leave. The old arab wants to write his son about what happened,when he finds an e-mail from him.
"Hello father, your garden is probably prepared for potatoes. That's all I can do from here. Bye, Ahmad."
E: sorry for spelling, english is my 2nd language
What do Pirates worry about when approaching old age?
Arrrrthritis.
The compliment seeking wife...
Harry, whined Mary, to her husband of 20 years. What should I do?! I'm not ready for old age! I'm only 40 years old but I look and feel like I'm over 55! My face is all wrinkly, my back is bent over, and my hair is all thinned out. Well, said Harry after looking her up and down, There is one thing about you that still works as good as new. Oh Harry! said Mary sitting down next to her husband, you always know just what to say! What are you referring to? Never mind said Harry looking down. C'mon Harry, please tell me what you were referring to. Mary, please don't make me. Harry I insist. Well I was going to remark about how your eyesight seems to be working just fine!
Code Word
An old priest got sick of everyone in his parish confessing adultery. During one Sunday's sermon he told them, "If one more person confesses to adultery, I'll quit! "Since everyone liked him, they decided to use a code word: "fallen. "From then on, anyone who had committed adultery said they had "fallen. "This satisfied the old priest and the parishioners, and everything was fine for years, until finally the old priest passed away at the ripe old age of 93. Shortly after the new young priest settled in, he paid a call on the mayor. The priest was quite concerned. "You have to do something about the sidewalks in this town, Mayor. You can't believe how many people come into the confessional talking about having fallen! "The mayor started to laugh, realizing that no one had explained their code word to the new priest. But before the mayor could explain, the priest shook his finger at the mayor and said -"I don't know why you're laughing; your wife fell three times last week! "
Some of my favorite Scandinavian UFF DA jokes
Ole and Lars were business partners and good friends. One day Lars started off for work and discovered he'd forgotten his tools. Returning home, he looked around for his wife, Lena, and finally found her in the bedroom. To his surprise, she was on the bed with no clothes on. "Vat in the vorld are you doing vidout any clothes, voman?" Lars asked. "Vell, I yust don't have any clothes to vear, dat's why," answered Lena. "Vat you talking about," said Lars as he opened the closet door and began counting: "Vun dress, two dress, tree dress, four dress... Oh, hello Ole... Five dress...
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An elderly Norwegian named Lars decided to March to the alter at the ripe old age of 85 with a shapely miss who was only 35. His friends cautioned him about the health hazard involved, saying that the exertion of amour could prove to be fatal. "Vell, dat's the chance I'll have to take," said Lars. "If she dies...she dies."
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The nurse told Ole to s**... to the waist. So he took off his pants.
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Lars and Lena and two other couples were being considered for membership in the Trinity Church. The minister explained that one of the requirements was for the couples to abstain from relations three weeks prior to final approval. "When you demonstrate self control, you will be welcomed to membership in Trinity Church," explained the minister.
Two of the couples indicated compliance, so the minister said, "You are now welcomed to the Church."
However, Lars and Lena admitted that on the last day of the three week period, they had succumbed after Lars became a**... when his wife Lena leaned over to pick up a spool of thread that had dropped to the floor.
"I'm extremely sorry," said the minister, "but I have to say that you now cannot be welcomed into the Trinity Church."
"Vell," said Lars, "Ve are not velcome at Sears anymore eeder.."
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Swede: When is your birthday?
Norwegian: March 21st.
Swede: What year?
Norwegian: Every year.
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Ole made a visit to the church on the corner near his home, found a priest and proceeded to make a confession. "Father, I got some tings to tell you about. I had an affair vith da vidow on Oak street last veek. And this veek I been getting togedder vith a coupla married vomen in my apartment."
"Well," said the priest, "for penance you better go home and say 40 Hail Marys."
"Oh, I ain't Cat'lick," explained Ole.
"You're not Catholic?" Exclaimed the priest. "Then, why are you telling ME?"
"Becoss," said Ole, "I'm telling EVERBODY!"
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A swede was sympathizing with a Norwegian who lost three wives in less that a year. The swede asked how they died.
"Vell, da first vun died from poisoned mushrooms," explained the Norwegian.
"And the second one?" Asked the Swede?
"Same ting...poisoned mushrooms."
"How about the last?"
"Oh her," said the Norwegian, "Fractured skull."
"How?"
"Wouldn't eat her mushrooms."
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Judge: You've been brought here for drinking.
Dane: Swell! Let's get started.
The orchestra's new trumpet player
A local orchestra's trumpet player just died of old age. They start auditions so they can find a new one.
The judges call in the first candidate. He walks in wearing a beautifully tailored dark tuxedo. He pulls out an incredibly expensive trumpet. His trumpet case is lined with red velvet. He brings the gold plated instrument up to his mouth and starts playing.
And wow, he's terrible. The judges cringe as he clumsily stumbles through a few messy runs. Nearly everything he plays is hideously out of tune. They send him away and bring in the next candidate.
This guy looks exactly opposite from the other guy. His hair is messy. He hasn't showered in weeks. His beard has food particles in it. He opens a crumpled brown paper bag and pulls out a rusty trumpet. He shakily puts the instrument to his lips and starts playing.
And man, *he was worse.*
o**......
One young boy asks his grandfather "What is s**...?"
Grandpa replies "This is something elders do in the bed"
Young boy asks, "How many times to do it?"
Grandpa replies "In young age you feel like doing it all the day, when middle age one time a day or even once in a week."
Then the young boy ask grandpa, "What is about old age."
Grandpa replies "We do o**... s**..."
Then young boy asks, "How they can do it since they sleep in seperate rooms."
Grandpa replies, "I say f...u" from my room and your granny says "f...u" from other room."
A very christian woman
A very Christian woman marries a very Christian man. Following the words of the Bible, "Be fruitful and multiply," they have many children. 16 over the course of 18 years, to be exact.
A few years later, the husband dies suddenly of a heart attack. The lady remarries another man, and they have 17 children over the course of 22 years. The woman's second husband dies of old age.
The woman herself dies a few years later. At her f**..., her sister remarks, "Well, at least they're finally together."
"Who? She and her husbands?" asks the pastor.
"No," says the sister. "Her legs."
Went out with a bang...
A tough old cowboy with grizzled hair, chiseled featured, and hands tougher than the sharpest barbs on new wire told his grandson that the secret to living a long life was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on his oatmeal every morning.
With absolute faith, the grandson did as Grandpap instructed. Every morning for the rest of his life, he added a pinch of gun powder to his oatmeal.
He grew up, lived happily, enjoyed perfect health, and died at the ripe old age of 107.
According to the story in the newspaper, he left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great-grandchildren, and a 15-foot crater where the crematorium used to be.
Interview with the 3x Widow (Clean Joke)
A journalist for a local newspaper was an interviewing an old woman who had been married three times before and was about to embark on her fourth marriage at the ripe old age of 90.
**Interviewer**: "Please give me a quick run down of the men you married in the past",
**Old Lady**: "We'll my first husband was the CEO of a bank. He died from a heart attack from stress. God bless him.
My second husband was so much different. He was a circus performer. He could s**... swords, walk a tight rope, and tame lions. Unfortunately, one of the lions wasn't fed one day, and I was single once again.
My third husband was the minister for my past two husbands funerals. I'm happy to say that he passed away peacefully surrounded by his friends and family.
And my soon to be fourth husband is the mortician who buried all three of my former husbands. He has always been there for me and is a kind man. I love him dearly.
**Interviewer**: Wow, that's a quite variety of men. So how would you summarize your love life?
**Old Lady**: Well, I guess you could say, I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go.
In a tiny village lived an old maid. In spite of her old age, she was still a v**.... She was very proud of it. She knew her last days were getting closer, so she told the local undertaker that she wanted the following inscription on her tombstone: "Born as a v**..., lived as a v**..., died as a v**...." Not long after, the old maid died peacefully, and the undertaker told his men what the lady had said. The men went to carve it in, but the lazy no-goods they were, they thought the inscription to be unnecessarily long. They simply wrote: "Returned unopened."
In a tiny village lived an old maid. In spite of her old age, she was still a v**.... She was very proud of it. She knew her last days were getting closer, so she told the local undertaker that she wanted the following inscription on her tombstone: "Born as a v**..., lived as a v**..., died as a v**...." Not long after, the old maid died peacefully, and the undertaker told his men what the lady had said. The men went to carve it in, but the lazy no-goods they were, they thought the inscription to be unnecessarily long. They simply wrote: "Returned unopened."
There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor. The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don't forget. They went home and the old lady told her husband to get her a bowl of ice cream. "You might want to write it down," she said. The husband said, "No, I can remember that you want a bowl of ice cream." She then told her husband she wanted a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream. "Write it down," she told him, and again he said, "No, no, I can remember: you want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream." Then the old lady said she wants a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top. "Write it down," she told her husband and again he said, "No, I got it. You want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top." So he goes to get the ice cream and spends an unusually long time in the kitchen, over 30 minutes. He comes out to his wife and hands her a plate of eggs and bacon. The old wife stares at the plate for a moment, then looks at her husband and asks, "Where's the toast?"
There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor. The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don't forget. They went home and the old lady told her husband to get her a bowl of ice cream. "You might want to write it down," she said. The husband said, "No, I can remember that you want a bowl of ice cream." She then told her husband she wanted a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream. "Write it down," she told him, and again he said, "No, no, I can remember: you want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream." Then the old lady said she wants a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top. "Write it down," she told her husband and again he said, "No, I got it. You want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top." So he goes to get the ice cream and spends an unusually long time in the kitchen, over 30 minutes. He comes out to his wife and hands her a plate of eggs and bacon. The old wife stares at the plate for a moment, then looks at her husband and asks, "Where's the toast?"
There was an elderly couple who in their old age noticed that they were getting a lot more forgetful, so they decided to go to the doctor. The doctor told them that they should start writing things down so they don't forget. They went home and the old lady told her husband to get her a bowl of ice cream. "You might want to write it down," she said. The husband said, "No, I can remember that you want a bowl of ice cream." She then told her husband she wanted a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream. "Write it down," she told him, and again he said, "No, no, I can remember: you want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream." Then the old lady said she wants a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top. "Write it down," she told her husband and again he said, "No, I got it. You want a bowl of ice cream with whipped cream and a cherry on top." So he goes to get the ice cream and spends an unusually long time in the kitchen, over 30 minutes. He comes out to his wife and hands her a plate of eggs and bacon. The old wife stares at the plate for a moment, then looks at her husband and asks, "Where's the toast?"

