Oil Jokes

Funniest Oil Short Jokes

Short oil jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The oil humour may include short paint jokes also.

1. Wife: You're shirtless? (husband nods)
   Wife: And covered in...oil?
   -Well, you know how you always say I never glisten?
   Wife: Listen. You never listen.
   -Oh
2. My girlfriend threw a bottle of Omega 3 capsules at me. It's OK though, I only have super fish oil injuries.
3. I was hit by a truck carrying a bunch of Omega 3 capsules It's okay, I only sustained super fish oil injuries
4. Karen got hired to an offshore rig during the pandemic. She's an essential oil worker now.
5. Someone threw some Omega 3 tablets at my head the other day I'm ok though, my injuries were only super fish oil
   *I'll see myself out*
6. I went to the library today and asked where I could find books on greases, oils and lubricants. The librarian suggested I try the non-friction section.
7. Did you know they changed the word snake to essential And people started buying the oils again.
8. Being a stripper is like working at McDonald's.... Covered in oil and questioning your choices after high school.
9. The level of pollution in the world today is becoming intolerable. Only the other day I opened a can of sardines to find it was full of oil and all the fish were dead.
10. An Irish guy in front of me said, "Whale-oil beef-hooked" I don't know what any of that has to do with forgetting your passport..

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Oil One Liners

Which oil one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with oil? I can suggest the ones about gas and petroleum.

1. The price of oil has dropped so far that... Exxon-Mobil had to lay off 25 Congressmen.
2. I can make you speak Irish Say "Whale oil beef hooked" quickly
3. Cheap oil, no immigration and no school shootings. Corona did what Trump promised
4. What do you call an oil stain that lasted for 1000 years? Ancient grease
5. What did the oil refinery plant say to the offshore drilling platform? Send crudes.
6. I saw a 2000 year old oil stain. It was from ancient Greece.
7. What do Popeye's fingers smell like? Olive oil.
8. What do Popeye and sardines have in common? They both come in olive oil.
9. I like my camgirls like I like my French fries. Steaming hot and covered in oil.
10. What type of oil do orcs use in their machinery? Mordor Oil
11. I have the most boring job of all... I run an oil drill rig.
12. How to curse like an Irishman "Whale oil beef hooked!"
13. Is it crude to make oil jokes now? Nah, it's oilright.
14. My car leaks so much oil that the U.S Army just invaded my driveway.
15. They named a chicken joint Popeye's... ...because they stick it in Olive Oil.

Olive Oil Jokes

Here is a list of funny olive oil jokes and even better olive oil puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• If olive oil is made from olives and coconut oil is made from coconut what is baby oil made from? Mineral oil, Aloe Vera Extract, vitamin E, Fragrance and false advertising.
• A truck carrying olive oil crashed into a truck carrying red wine vinegar, inside a nudist camp First responders reported that everyone nearby was well dressed
• Oil If:
  Peanut oil is made from peanuts.
  Olive oil is made from olives.
  Corn oil is made from corn.
  Then:
  What is baby oil made from?
• What did the French chef say when he was sick and tired of misplacing his olive oil? "I'm losing my huile d'olive."
• Why does Popeye's tool never rust? Because he keeps it in Olive Oil.
• What does a horse do when he eats a bunch of eggs and olive oil? He Mayo-neighs
• How much olive oil does Snoop Dogg use to cook? A drizzle.
• If we get olive oil from squeezing olives, and we get coconut oil from squeezing coconuts…. Where does baby oil come from?
• I've started using garlic in my magic act. First I start by crushing it, adding basil and some pine nuts and then I blend them altogether with some Parmesan and olive oil... Then…hey…pesto!
• Why do depressed Frenchmen consume so much olive oil? It gives them a huile d'olive

Baby Oil Jokes

Here is a list of funny baby oil jokes and even better baby oil puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My wife asked me to get some baby oil. Does anyone know how to extract it?
• Almond oil is made by crushing almonds, Peanut oil is made by crushing peanuts, coconut oil is made by crushing coconuts.
  I really feel horrible about all those babies.
• If coconut oil is made with coconuts, Almond oil is made with almonds,
  Groundnut oil is made with groundnuts,
  Then I surely know what baby oil is.....
• We crush olives for olive oil, we crush walnuts for walnut oil and we crush sunflower seeds for sunflower oil So how do we make baby oil?
• What do Shell Oil and my baby daddy have in common? They both left when it got too expensive.
• TIL- Baby Powder isn't actually made out of babies. Same with Baby Oil, and why doesn't Babies 'r Us sell babies
• There was some baby massage oil in the supermarket. I never even knew that masseurs could be that young.
• Whats the difference between baby oil bottles purchased by a man and by a woman? The woman's bottle is for the baby, the man's bottle is for the woman
• When a woman goes to a pharmacy to buy baby oil its for the baby, when a man goes to buy baby oil its for the woman
• If olive oil is made from olives... What is baby oil made of?

Fish Oil Jokes

Here is a list of funny fish oil jokes and even better fish oil puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I got into a fight in the drug store and they threw a bottle of Omega 3 at me. Luckily my wounds were only super fish oil.
• Did you hear about the guy who got hit with a bottle of omega 3 capsules? He suffered super-fish-oil injuries
• I got hit in the head when someone threw a can of cod liver oil at me yesterday... Luckily the damage was just super fish oil
• My car now runs on fish oil.. It's turbot charged.
• I was biking to work today and someone threw a bottle of omega 3 pills at me! I'm ok though. The injuries were super fish oil.
• Why couldn't the effective vitamin supplement achieve true happiness? He was too super fish oil.
• I was walking past a chemist when... I got hit with a bottle of omega-3.
  Its ok I only suffered super-fish-oil injuries.
• If fish oil is made out of fish... Then what's baby oil made out of?

Car Oil Jokes

Here is a list of funny car oil jokes and even better car oil puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• The oil change shop tried to scam a customer by telling him that his car needed "blinker fluid" The customer said, "Nice try, you can't trick me. My BMW doesn't have blinkers!"
• Jaguar just announced an XK-E Concept car they will show at the Frankfurt Auto Show this year. They had been working on it for 10 years but they only recently figured out how to make it leak oil
• What do a gay dolphin and a car that leaks oil have in common? Chances are, both have blown a seal
• Is it possible to wish for a nice car if you find an oil lamp? Depends whether it's a Lamborghini.
• How long does it take Putin to give his car an oil change? Nyet long. He's always Russian.

Cooking Oil Jokes

Here is a list of funny cooking oil jokes and even better cooking oil puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• American intervention is kind of like my cooking... It always involves a lot of oil... I steam in without really knowing what I'm doing... and lots of people die.
• Why should you cook kale in coconut oil? Makes it easier to slide it right into the trash.
• A rodent fell into a vat of hot cooking oil. It turned into a Chris Pratt
• Did you hear about the chef who never understood how animal-based oils help the cooking process? For him.... The Lard works in mysterious ways!
• What is an Italian mobster's favorite cooking oil? Cannoli Oil.
• What do disabled people cook their food wjth? Vegetable oil
• I forgot to use oil when cooking my eggs I guess you could say Black Pan Down

Entertaining Oil Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone

What funny jokes about oil you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean diesel jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make oil pranks.