The Best 51 Officials Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Officials jokes. There are some officials fbi jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these officials spokesman puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Officials Jokes and Puns

Midwestern joke I heard years ago...

State officials in Ohio are trying to pass legislation to change the name of the town, Mechanicsburg, to Engagement. When asked why, one official commented that it made clear sense because the town is halfway between Dayton and Marion.

So Lena finishes dead last in the breastroke...

She immediately filed a complaint with the officials, because the other girls were using their arms.

Tragedy in Poland

The worst air disaster in Poland's history occurred today when a two-seat Cessna 120 crashed into a cemetery.

So far 374 bodies have been found.

Polish search and rescue officials indicate that the number will probably rise as they continue to dig.

Officials joke, Tragedy in Poland

Thank goodness for AT&T

Thanks goodness for AT&T. Apparently the NSA called AT&T officials to request that they, too, provide call records of their customers. But halfway through the conversation, the call dropped. The NSA called back six times, but AT&T officials could never get more than two signal bars and the request was never completed.

So I've got some buddies...

They just so happen to be a high-ranking officials in Denver,Colorado. They're currently trying to get Republicans and Democrats to both agree to legalize medical marijuana to ease arthritis symptoms. I guess you could say I have friends in high places in high places in high places for joint support for joint support for joint support.


Did you hear that Oprah got arrested?

Did you hear that Oprah got arrested at the Washington D.C airport? Officials say the airport police looked up her skirt and saw 50 pounds of crack.

A Viking explorer came home to find that his name was missing from the town register.

His family complained to the town officials, one of whom said, "I'm so sorry! I must have taken Leif off my census."

Officials joke, A Viking explorer came home to find that his name was missing from the town register.

Twice a week, a Belgian riding a bicycle crossed the German border...

And he always carried a suitcase filled with sand.
Each time, the customs officials searched his suitcase for contraband, but always in vain.
Sometimes, they even emptied all the sand out, expecting to find some illegal item.
They racked their brains but never found anything.
It was many years later, long after the Belgian had vanished from the scene that they learned the truth.

He had been smuggling bicycles.

Kim Jong Un Executed 15 Officials This Year, South Korea Says

Not sure how he did it but that is just amazing, great job Kim Jong.

How many FIFA officials does it take to change a light bulb?

**None**. They operate in the **dark**.

Chinese officials are trying to decide whether to spend money on a school or a prison.

Finally one of them says: - What are the odds that some of us will go back to high school?

You can explore officials authorities reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean officials scandal dad jokes. There are also officials puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I'm not really impressed with high ranking military officials,

in General.

Roger Goodell believes NFL officials are doing an extraordinary job.

The State of Illinois has just unveiled its new welcome sign...

Welcome to Illinois; not ALL of our elected officials have been indicted!

A large hole was found in the middle of the city.

Officials are looking into it.

The first known case of the Zika virus in the United States has been found in Texas and was transmitted via sexual contact.

Officials believe the case will end how it began: With someone getting a little head.

Officials joke, The first known case of the Zika virus in the United States has been found in Texas and was transmit

The head of the 2016 Somali Olympic squad has apologized to officials on behalf of their team...

...after realizing shooting and sailing were two separate events.

Top UN officials asked Vladimir Putin to stop annexing countries

He responded: Oh go Crimea river

PSA: Brazilian officials have assured that they've taken measures to lower the chances of being murder there during the Olympic games to be...

Juan/Brazilian.


Muslim officials denounce gorilla warfare

Calling it "absolutely harambe"

What happened when Caesar's government officials could not reach consensus?

Irritable Brawls in Rome

Why do North Korean officials are always seen holding a notebook and a pen when they're near Kim Jong Un?

They're writing their last will and testament.

3 Texas men missing while duck hunting found dead.

The incident is under investigation, but officials do not expect fowl play.

A concerned person is sick of all the corruption and injustice in the world and decides they want to expose it by becoming a journalist.

Only 3 weeks later they were caught trying to reveal corruption by some high ranking officials and were put to death.

You could say, they chose the wrong Korea.

What do you call an openly tyrannical government wherein all the female public officials identify as future mothers even though they've been sterilized?

A trans-parent government.

(this is my best work yet)

On my way for the latest Porsche presentation..

the airport officials requested the purpose of my flight.
I wrote down "I'm here for the newest 911".
Best regards from Guantanamo.

I watched a documentary about the 1936 summer Olympics in Berlin

It seemed like a wonderful event, but it made me uneasy every time the officials said, "Let's make this a good, clean race."

Officials recently stated that inmates on death row will no longer be granted a final meal

Just desserts.

A refugee is being interviewed by Border Patrol officials

"Your name please?"

Ahmed Aziz

Sex?

5 times a week!

No, no, I mean man or woman.

Don't matters, sometimes even goat.

When doctors go on strike ....

"Doctors at a hospital in Brooklyn, New York have gone on strike. Hospital officials say they will find out what the Doctors' demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist over there to read the picket signs!"

I've started competing in discus meets

I almost won a trophy yesterday. I threw the discus really far, but this other competitor named Gus got my throw erased. He said my throw got lifted by a burst of wind, so he went to the track officials.

This Gus discussed his disgust on the discus.

A town has recently been overrun by a horde of chickens

Officials have been calling it a complete cluster cluck

Monty Python scheduled to sing National Anthem for NFL London game

However, officials pulled the plug at the last minute when it was revealed the comedians would be taking a Ni.

Before the election, I told myself that I would leave the country if Trump got elected.

Well, I did it, and it only took 11 months for the immigration officials to find me.

I was breastfed until 3

school officials came in to inform me that I was expelled.

TIL: The Polish Space Program planned to be the first country to send a man to the sun.

When asked how they would prevent their astronauts from burning up, space program officials stated "We'll go at night."

City officials required all their male employees to socialize with male coworkers after work once a week.

They issued a government mandate.

New England trees have sprouted legs and are running amok. Officials say:

Birches be runnin wild

TIL: Government officials can sometimes be removed from office with "a vote of no confidence"

Which is eerily similar to how many entered into office with "a vote of no competence"

It was reported vanilla ice was last off the quarantined plane.

Officials remarked it was necessary as he was the illest.

[OC] A group of top CIA officials were debating the best disguise for an agent to use to catch an international criminal.

Eventually, they settled on using Annette.

I wanted to write a letter to the Governor . . .

opposing a bill being considered in the Virginia legislature. But with Gov Northram's facing a chorus of demands for his resignation because of his blackface photo, and the next two officials in line to succeed him embroiled in their own controversies, I wasn't sure to whom I should send my letter.

I finally decided the safest choice was to mail it to the Governor's Mansion, "Current occupant."

The 13th amendment makes it illegal to buy people as they aren't property

Apparently, government officials don't apply

BREAKING NEWS: The leader of North Korea, Kim Jong-un, is brain-dead following an invasive medical procedure.

Officials praise the regime for finding common grounds with the US.

Did you hear in the news that a 747 recently crashed in a cemetery in Poland?

The Polish officials have so far retrieved 2000 bodies.

It is claimed that Trump thought Finland was controlled by Russia

Finnish officials shrugged and said they thought the same was true of Trump

Officials have found a brain-eating Amoba in the water supply of Washington DC. Officials are worried

After all, there's a good chance the Amobas will starve to death

Today a large shipment of Chinese dumplings was thrown to the ground and smashed into crumbs by vandals who are unhappy with a change in the savory treat's recipe.

Local officials are said to be appalled by the wonton destruction.

The year is 1921. Eastern Poland, the new border with Russia is forming after WWI.

One of the officials coordinating this process stumbles upon an old house that is located just on the path of where the border would be set. Property, with an old shed and few acres of land, is habited by one old farmer.

"This is your lucky day, old man. You can choose whether you prefer to be on the Polish or Russian side of the border" says the officel.

"Polish" the farmer answers without hesitation.

"And why is that if I may ask?"

"Cause Ruskies have very harsh winters."

The city officials haven't decide whether or not to tear down the graveyard

So for now...remains to be seen

A large sink hole just opened up on my street.

City officials are looking into it.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the officials inspectors jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working officials superiors piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes