Office Supply Jokes
43 office supply jokes and hilarious office supply puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about office supply that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Office Supply Short Jokes
Short office supply jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The office supply humour may include short office desk jokes also.
- What's the one office supply you never want to ask Chuck Norris to give you? The Three-Hole Punch...
- I was tasked with ordering coffee supplies for the office... I sent an email to all the staff asking if they wanted flavored creamers or regular creamers.
Their answers were half-and-half. - The eraser was crowned "King of Office Supplies" but got overthrown within a day. He's not a ruler.
- Anybody know someone that wants to buy letter openers, staplers, pens, and other office supplies? Most of it is labeled with Capital Hill or U.S. Senate but it's all usable. Let me know! Thanks.
- Have you heard they have slashed production of many office supply items. Especially metre rulers, they won't be making them any longer.
- I used to sell office supplies to the mafia, file cabinets and label makers and such I was involved in very organized crime
- Did you hear about the man addicted to eating office supplies? It was a staple of his diet.
- A man walked into an office supply shop a year ago, laid down and said he is a pencil and will never leave. Some say he is still stationary today.
- I'm rubber and you're glue. She's tape. He's a stapler. Those guys are paper clips. All my friends are office supplies.
- I'm been living in an office supply cupboard for a few months now... ...it doesn't have many luxuries but it does have all the staples.
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Office Supply One Liners
Which office supply one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with office supply? I can suggest the ones about office work and office related.
- What is an office ninja's most deadly weapon? The element of supplies
- What do you call a Mexican gang that steals office supplies? Rubber Banditos
- What is Jacob Zuma's favourite office supply? Whiteout
- What is the most noble office supply? The ruler!
- Among office supplies, one always finds paper clips. One might say they are staples.
- What did the Japanese man say when he jumped out of Office Depot? SUPPLIES!!!
- I used to work at kinkos Until I was framed for stealing office supplies
- Staples Office Supply Super Store
- What do you call an office supply store employee who's into f**...? A Holepuncher
- What office supply store does snoop dog go to? Office da p**...
Amusing & Witty Office Supply Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
What funny jokes about office supply you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean office affair jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make office supply pranks.
Yet another genie in the lamp joke
A sales rep, an administration clerk, and their manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.' p**...! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas, and the love of my life.' p**...! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager. The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after lunch.'
A Russian officer is called into a meeting with his superior at their base camp
His boss starts:
"Comrade Lieutenant, it has come to my attention that you have been selling half of our fuel reserves on the black market"
"Yes Captain, it's true..."
"That's most unfortunate Lieutenant..."
"To be honest Captain, I know you sell army supplies too."
"I know..."
"Then what's the problem if I do it?"
"Because I already sold the other half."
Guy bumps into a friend ...
... and says "Hey, man, can you believe that they fired me for stealing office supplies?"
Friend says, "Wow, that's crazy, they must really be hardnosed about that. Where did you work again?"
"Office Depot."
Stretchy shrink-wrap can be loads of fun.
You can get it at most office supply stores. Completely wrap a friend's car, bike, or motorcycle. Extra credit: leave a large pink bow on top.
An Army commanding officer is talking to one of his troops.
"Why exactly did you send the Grenadine people explosives instead of the medical supplies we promised?"
"You said to send Gren aid."
I heard that the military is now using pens as weapons
Boy, office supplies really are becoming a staple of modern weeponry
What did the Google employee say after being accused of stealing office supplies?
Search me.
A construction worker.
A construction worker on his first day was tasked with picking up supplies from the lumberyard.
He walked into the office and said, "We need some 4x2s."
The clerk said, "You mean 2x4s, right?"
The worker said, "Let me go check,"
He went back to the truck, soon returned and said, "Yes, 2x4s."
"Alright, how long do you need them?" asked the clerk.
The man paused for a while and said, "Let me go check."
He returned to the office and said, "A long time. We're building a house."
An Italian guy, a Polish guy, and a Japanese guy all apply for a job at an office.
The manager hires all three and tells the Italian, "Ok, you take care of the inventory". Tells the Polish guy, "You take care of accounting" and tells the Japanese guy, "You take care of supplies."
The manager comes back after an hour and sees the Italian guy and the Polish guy working, but he can't find the Japanese guy anywhere. So all of them start looking for him.
After hours of searching, they still can't find him so they give up and turn to go home for the evening when suddenly, the Japanese guy jumps out of nowhere and screams "SUPPLIES!!!!"...
Welfare Check
A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched
straight up to the counter and said,"Hi. You know...., I just HATE drawing
welfare. I'd really rather have a job."
The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We
just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and
bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll drive his 2011 Mercedes-Benz CL
and he will supply all of your clothes.
"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected
to e**... the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward
to say, but you will also as part of your job description have to satisfy
her s**... urges. The daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong
s**... drive."
The guy in wide-eyed amazement said, "You're kidding me!"
The social worker said: "Yeah, well ... You started it".
Stats joke..
Three professors (a physicist, a chemist, and a statistician) are called in to see their dean. Just as they arrive the dean is called out of his office, leaving the three professors there. The professors see with alarm that there is a fire in the wastebasket.
The physicist says, "I know what to do! We must cool down the materials until their temperature is lower than the ignition temperature and then the fire will go out."
The chemist says, "No! No! I know what to do! We must cut off the supply of oxygen so that the fire will go out due to lack of one of the reactants."
While the physicist and chemist debate what course to take, they both are alarmed to see the statistician running around the room starting other fires. They both scream, "What are you doing?"
To which the statistician replies, "Trying to get an adequate sample size.
A guy walks into a...
A guy walks into a local welfare office to pick up his check. He marched straight up to the counter and said,"Hi. You know...., I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job." The social worker behind the counter said, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter.
You'll drive his 2011 Mercedes-Benz CL and he will supply all of your clothes. "Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to e**... the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say, but you will also as part of your job description have to satisfy her s**... urges. The daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong s**... drive." The guy in wide-eyed amazement said, "You're bullshittin' me!"
The social worker said: "Yeah, well ... You started it".
Welfare Check
A guy walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.
He marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi.. You know...., I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job.
The welfare clerk behind the counter said, Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a Chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive around in his 2011 Mercedes-Benz CL, and he will supply all of your clothes.
"Because of the long hours, meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to e**... the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. This is rather awkward to say but you will also have as part of your job assignment to satisfy her s**... urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong s**... drive."
The guy, just plain wide-eyed, said, "You're bullshittin' me!
The welfare clerk said, "Yeah, well ... You started it."
