Office Related Jokes

11 office related jokes and hilarious office related puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about office related that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Quick Jump To

Short office related jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The office related humour may include short office work jokes also.

  1. After much debate comparing early black communities to modern during all these officer related shootings They have decided water hoses weren't so bad

Share These Office Related Jokes With Friends

What funny jokes about office related you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean office desk jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make office related pranks.

After 5 long years of studying, a student comes rushing into Einstein's office shouting...

"Sir, Sir, I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity!"
Einstein rolls his eyes, "It's about time"

Little Johnny

An insurance officer comes to a farm and meets Little Johnny and asks,
"Hello, are your parents home by any chance?"
Little Johnny: "My parents were run over by the tractor ..."
Insurance officer: "Really? That's awful! Are your siblings at home?"
Little Johnny: "Run over by the tractor ..."
Insurance officer: "Oh my God! That's terrible! Are your grandparents or your uncles or aunts or any of your relatives at home?"
Little Johnny: "No! All of them run over by the tractor ..."
Insurance officer: "What are you doing all day then?"
Little Johnny: "Drive the tractor!"

Dwarfs and s**... Harassment

Dawn, a tall attractive office assistant complains to human relations in her firm that every time she goes to the photocopier a nearby worker named Philbert comes up close to her and says "Mmm, your hair smells nice." Hermagrude, the kind , wise human relations officer says placatingly, "Well Dawn, many women would treat that as a compliment, perhaps you could see it that way?" Dawn replies, "well normally I might but Philbert is a dwarf."

Driving Questionnaire

A man had recently moved and was filling out forms at his local police station:
Q: Has your driver's license ever been suspended or revoked?
"No, never."
Q: Have you ever been convicted of a DUI?
"Oh yes, lots of times!"
Q: Have you ever been convicted of a driving-related felony?
"Yeah, three of them."
At this point, the officer stopped to ask: "well wait a minute, if you have all of these DUIs and felonies, how come your license has never been suspended or revoked?"
The man responds: "Never got one."

One day a women walks into work in a short skirt.

As she’s walking to her desk she gets stopped by a co-worker, who says,
“Your hair smells really nice today.”
She grimaces and stomps into her manager’s office.
She says,”I want to file a s**... harassment complaint!” and then relates what happened.
The manager says, “What’s wrong with him complimenting how your hair smells?”
Furious, she snarls, “He’s a midget!”

All employees are encouraged to stay with relatives and friends while on business travel.

If weather permits, public areas such as parks should be used as temporary lodging sites.
Bus terminals, train stations, and office lobbies may provide shelter in periods of inclement weather.

After a two year study, the National Science Foundation announced the following results on America's ball-related recreational preferences:

1. The sport of choice for unemployed or incarcerated people is basketball.

2. The sport of choice for maintenance level employees is bowling.

3. The sport of choice for blue-collar workers is football.

4. The sport of choice for supervisors is baseball.

5. The sport of choice for middle management is tennis.

6. The sport of choice for corporate officers is golf.

Conclusion: The higher you rise in the corporate structure, the smaller your b**... become.

Officer Discussing "Relations"

A party is going on at the Generals house, and four officers are discussing relations.
The General asks how much of it is Fun and how much is work, stating "I think its about 90% work, and 10% fun."
The Commander reluctantly disagrees saying "Sir I think it's more like 25% fun 75% work"
One of the department heads says "In my experience its about 50% work, 50% fun."
To which the JO (Junior Officer) says "I dunno, I know I'm not married sir, but I always thought it was 80% fun, and 20% work"
Just then the Senior Enlisted Advisor walks by so they ask him.
Thinking for a moment he responds "It must be 100% fun, because if any work was involved you four would have enlisted guys over at your house doing it for you."

The Polish Divorce

A Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well.
One day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could
arrange a divorce for him. The lawyer said that getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and this conversation ensued:
"Have you any grounds?"
Yes, an acre and half and nice little home.
"No, I mean what is the foundation of this case?"
It's made of concrete.
"I don' think you understand. Does either of you have a real grudge?"
No, we have carport, and not need one.
"I mean what are your relations like?"
All my relations still in Poland .
" Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"
We have hi-fidelity stereo and good DVD player.
"Does your wife beat you up?"
No, I'm always up before her each morning.
"Is your wife a nagger?"
No, she white.

"Why do you want this divorce?"
She going to kill me.

"What makes you think that?"
I got proof.
"What kind of proof?"

She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on shelf in bathroom. I can read English pretty good, and it say:

There were two sisters...

Once upon a time, in the wild, wild West there were two sisters, Jill and Susie. A relative of theirs dies and leaves the two sisters a ranch. The ranch was run down and they had little else to their name besides the ranch so they thought they'd invest what they had left into a stud bull to mate with their cows.
They found an ad in the paper for a healthy bull for sale for $500 and decided Jill would go down and see if the bull would be suitable and Susie would stay back and manage the ranch. If Jill decided the bull was fine she would send a telegraph back home to have Susie come down and help bring the bull back up.
Jill travels out to look at the bull and decides that it is worth the money. She pays the $500 and goes to the telegraph office to send word to her sister. She told the operator she'd like to send a message to her sister that the bull was fine and that she should come down to help bring it back to the ranch.
The operator told her it would cost $1 per word. All Jill had left after buying the bull was $1 and she thought long and hard about the message she could send. Finally, she told the operator to send the word "comfortable." The operator shook his head and said, "I don't get it, why the word comfortable?" Jill said, my sister is blonde, she'll look at the word and read it slow. COM-FOR-DA-BULL.