Following is our collection of Office jokes which are very funny. There are some office clerk jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these office doctor puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
As they walked around the office, the girl turned visibly upset and soon started crying. Her father asked her what was wrong
As everyone gathered around, she sobbed "Daddy, I'm getting bored walking around the office. Please show me those clowns you said you work with"
One day in office and he has thousands of people getting up and going out for walks on this beautiful Saturday morning.
I have no idea who let her into my office.
It improved my outlook.
The doctor says: "I'm sorry sir I'm very busy today. You'll have to be a little patient."
where a car has driven through a field, killed several livestock and crashed into a barn. He decides to interview Steve who is struggling to keep his balance and is being propped up by Karen.
"Been out for a few have we mate?" asks the officer.
"Shuure ave mate" grins Steve.
"I realise you are very drunk sir," states the officer, "but that is absolutely no excuse to let your wife drive you home!"
...his secretary walks in with a phone in his hand.
He says, "Three Brazilian soldiers were killed today in Iraq."
Upon hearing this The President says, "Oh my God!" and he buries his head in his hands.
The entire Cabinet was stunned. Usually George Bush showed no reaction whatsoever to these types of reports.
Just then, Bush looked up and said, "How many is a Brazilian??"
You have my Word.
John is being shown around the office by his new boss. They enter the IT department and John sees a man using two keyboards at once. "That's incredible", says John. "Trust a geek to use two keyboards at once". "Hey!" replied his boss. "That's stereotyping. "
I just haven't decided which one yet.
Honey, I got hit by a car outside of the office. Tina brought me to the hospital. They have been taking tests and doing x-rays. The blow to my head is very strong, may be serious. Also, I have 3 broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture on my left leg and they may have to amputate the right foot.
Wife's Response:
Who is Tina?
You can explore office administrative reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean office room dad jokes. There are also office puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
You have my word
No, I'm irresponsible. That's why I threw it.
After Hitler dies, God calls him in His office. When he gets there, God asks "if I gave you the possibility to live another life, what would you do?"
Hitler answers "I'd kill all the Jews and twelve Eskimos".
God promptly asks "Why the Eskimos?".
"See, not even you care about Jews!"
One of the agents asks the other, "Why didn't they just write '1 TB' instead?"
I thought about carpooling with some co-workers to work, but the problem is that on the way to the office we have to go through a tunnel. I'm deathly afraid of this situation. Turns out I have carpool tunnel syndrome.
She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "I would do... anything."
He returns her gaze. "Anything?"
"Anything."
His voice softens. "Anything??"
"Absolutely anything."
His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you... study?"
saying "ithinktherearesomeproblemswithmykeyboardcanyoupleasegivemeanalternative"
Oh boy am I excited, but what does "ternative" mean?
So I was at the doctor's office and he decided to prescribe a drug for an illness. But when he reached into his pocket to grab a pen so he could write the prescription, he instead pulled out a thermometer. He looked at it, then turned to me and said "Great, some asshole's got my pen."
No name was given but he was a high wanking officer.
She says "sure"... and goes in there. Bill Clinton unzips his pants and pulls out his little Billy.
Monica says "That's not a clock".
To which Bill replies "It is if you put two hands and a face on it".
You have my Word.
Sorry it was supposed to say Female but the emale got deleted.
ME: I'm no longer canstopetid
DOCTOR: You mean constipated
ME: No I've had a vowel movement
DOCTOR: Get out
His last wish to his son is to print an obituary. The son goes to newspaper office and asks how much they charge for an obituary. They tell him $5 per word.
He says then print "Solomon dead". The newspaper tell him they require minimum 5 words. He thinks for a moment and says, then make it "Solomon dead, wheelchair for sale".
Things are getting very slow and the manager realizes he has to let one of them go but he can't decide. The manager approaches Jill and says "I have to lay you or Jack off".
"Jack off!" snaps Jill "I have a headache".
"Your essays are good", he said. "But you need to come up with more reliable sources for the quotes you use."
"But sir," I started, "a man once said 'It is not the speaker that defines the merits of the words, but the words themselves.'"
He sighed. "Who did? Who said that?"
"Dave69 on Pornhub."
No exact details were given to the public, but he was a high wanking officer
"Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!"
The doctor calmly answers "Pay me in advance"
They were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories when the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
''But why?'' they asked, as they moved off.
''Because,'' he said ''I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.''
The dentist replies "You shouldn't be here. You should be seeing a psychiatrist..."
The guy replies, "I am seeing a psychiatrist."
The dentist asks, "Well, then what are you doing here?"
The guy says, "Your light was on."
Then I'm an innocent man.
Trump calls Angela Merkel's office. Secretary answers.
Trump: What's the time difference between Washington and Berlin ?
Secretary: Just a second, Mr. President…
Trump: Thanks
Just recently the company has been doing badly, so the boss decides one of them must go.
Arriving at his office on Monday, the first person he sees is Jill, so he asks her to step into his office and explains his dilemma.
"Look Jill, I'm afraid I'm going to have to lay you or Jack off."
Jill replies, "You'll have to jack off then, 'cause I've got a headache."
"Sir, Sir, I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity!"
Einstein rolls his eyes, "It's about time"
Got back to the office and realized I had picked 7 up.
they said VR ready
Customer: Cargo space?
Me: Car no do that. Car no fly.
Manager: Can I see you in my office?
She says, "I'm just not doing very well in your class. I was wondering if there was anything I could do to raise my grade?"
The professor looks her up and down and asks, "What are you willing to do to raise your grade?"
"I'd do *anything*," she answers coyly, playing with her hair.
"Anything?"
"*Anything*!" she repeats with a knowing grin.
"Would you....study?"
I think he must be plotting something.
I repied, "That's probably why they've received flowers then."
Man: Yeah but she's got a great personality
Me (taking notes): Note to self: Only bring international bees into the office
I don't know who you but I will find you, you have my word.
It's because of their immensely powerful hind legs, and the fact that office buildings cannot jump.
Because the son has been doing very poorly in his classes.
The mother says to the doctor "I think my son has become stupid."
The doctor says in reply "Well how do you suppose that would happen?"
"Well I don't know for sure but he hasn't passed a single test since he was vaccinated last year."
"Ah-ha! That's it!"
"So it was the vaccines then?"
"No, it's genetic."
I have a hunch it might be me...
My boss said, Clean our your desk, and I'll see you in the office on Monday.
What bothers me is that the post office knew where to deliver it.
An aide comes into the Oval Office and says to Trump:
"Sir, three Brazilian solders were killed in Afghanistan last night."
Trump looks absolutely devastated, nobody's ever seen him like this.
He sinks back in his chair, saying oh my god over and over.
Then he composes himself and says:
Okay. Just remind me, how many are there in a brazillion?"
It's a mail dominated industry.
Parceltongue
My dates never seem too happy when I tell them I'm a bus driver.
The man shrieks and responds, "Everyone?! Oh lord, what have I done?"
My dates are always upset when I tell them I'm a bus driver
The surgeon asks if he wants the good news or bad news first.
The man excitedly ~~replys~~ replies, "I'll take the good news first."
The surgeon tells him, "well you're about to get a new dog."
Detective: dear god
Officer: most likely yes
Young couple visits doctor seeking advice,
"Sir you gotta help us, we tried everything to have a baby, we tried vitamins, we tried changing positions, we tried every different day of the month, we searched internet for pregnancy advice, but we just can't seem to have any luck with it, we need to know if there is some medical problem."
Doctor sat back on his chair crossed his hands and sighed,
"You boys are nuts."
I think I should look for a new dentist....
Most of it is labeled with Capital Hill or U.S. Senate but it's all usable. Let me know! Thanks.
are often called Libretarians.
Post office
that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel.
My dates are always seem disappointed when they find out I'm a bus driver.
Thankfully I was the one facing the telly.
Because 60 percent of Americans would spit on the front side, and 40 percent would lick the back side.
Seems my little boy got sent to the Principal's office for giving his Teacher the finger.
The school staff still can't figure out who it belongs to and how he got it.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the office secretary jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working office passport office piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.