One day in office and he has thousands of people getting up and going out for walks on this beautiful Saturday morning.
I have no idea who let her into my office.
It's that the president of Puerto Rico is the dumbest son of a bitch to ever hold public office.
I repied, "That's probably why they've received flowers then."
I think he must be plotting something.
Customer: Cargo space?
Me: Car no do that. Car no fly.
Manager: Can I see you in my office?
The principal asks: "What is your name, son?"
The student replies: "D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir."
Then the principal asks: "Oh, do you have a stutter?"
Student answers: "No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was an asshole."
The student replies, No sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was an asshole.
My boss said, Clean our your desk, and I'll see you in the office on Monday.
Me (taking notes): Note to self: Only bring international bees into the office
No name was given but he was a high wanking officer.
A student visits the principal's office. The principal asks:
"What is your name, son?"
The student replies:
"D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir."
Then the principal asks:
"Oh, do you have a stutter?"
Student answers:
"No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was an asshole."
No exact details were given to the public, but he was a high wanking officer
She said, "Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day. They are absolutely gorgeous."
I said, "Well that's probably why they've received flowers then."
The principal says to him, What's your name, son?
The student replies: D-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.
The principal looks up and asks him, Oh, do you have a stutter?
The student replies, No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was an asshole.
You have my Word.
I don't know what the hell they're taking about, but I really need someone to take a look at this bulbous sore I have.
"Sir, Sir, I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity!"
Einstein rolls his eyes, "It's about time"
saying "ithinktherearesomeproblemswithmykeyboardcanyoupleasegivemeanalternative"
Oh boy am I excited, but what does "ternative" mean?
You have my word
Honey, I got hit by a car outside of the office. Tina brought me to the hospital. They have been taking tests and doing x-rays. The blow to my head is very strong, may be serious. Also, I have 3 broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture on my left leg and they may have to amputate the right foot.
Wife's Response:
Who is Tina?
John is being shown around the office by his new boss. They enter the IT department and John sees a man using two keyboards at once. "That's incredible", says John. "Trust a geek to use two keyboards at once". "Hey!" replied his boss. "That's stereotyping. "
You have my Word.
Sorry it was supposed to say Female but the emale got deleted.
Man: Yeah but she's got a great personality
He told me to stop vigorously masturbating and get the hell out of his office.
She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "I would do... anything."
He returns her gaze. "Anything?"
"Anything."
His voice softens. "Anything??"
"Absolutely anything."
His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you... study?"
where a car has driven through a field, killed several livestock and crashed into a barn. He decides to interview Steve who is struggling to keep his balance and is being propped up by Karen.
"Been out for a few have we mate?" asks the officer.
"Shuure ave mate" grins Steve.
"I realise you are very drunk sir," states the officer, "but that is absolutely no excuse to let your wife drive you home!"
As they walked around the office, the girl turned visibly upset and soon started crying. Her father asked her what was wrong
As everyone gathered around, she sobbed "Daddy, I'm getting bored walking around the office. Please show me those clowns you said you work with"
Because the son has been doing very poorly in his classes.
The mother says to the doctor "I think my son has become stupid."
The doctor says in reply "Well how do you suppose that would happen?"
"Well I don't know for sure but he hasn't passed a single test since he was vaccinated last year."
"Ah-ha! That's it!"
"So it was the vaccines then?"
"No, it's genetic."
It improved my outlook.
I got home the other day from work and my wife says "you fucking son of a bitch" and asked what I had done.
Wife: You had sex with my sister you asshole!
Me: Look honey I got into my office in work and there she was lying naked on the table, what should I have done?
Wife: The autopsy
Then I'm an innocent man.
The principal says to him, What's your name, son? The student replies: T-T-T-on-on-on-tony, sir. The principal looks up and asks him, Oh, do you have a stutter? The student replies, No sir, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was an asshole.
I don't know who you but I will find you, you have my word.
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