Office Jokes

181 office jokes and hilarious office puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about office that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Make work more fun with these office jokes! Offering a mix of office appropriate humor, friendly jokes, practical jokes, and April Fools' pranks, this article is perfect for adding a touch of humor to your office meeting, patient, administrative duties and even your boss! Learn the best office jokes to lighten up the mood inside the office.

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Short Office Jokes
Office One Liners
Doctor's Office Jokes
Doctor Office Jokes
Office Work Jokes
Friendly Office Jokes
More Office Jokes

Best Short Office Jokes

Short office puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The office humour may include short desk jokes also.

What's the difference between a police officer and a bullet? When a bullet kills someone else, you know it's been fired
My Tinder bio says that I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and that I'm paid to travel. My dates never seem too happy when I tell them I'm a bus driver.
My sister came up with this. What begins with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters in it post office
A man filed a report to the police that his bag was stolen. Upon leaving the man's apartment, the officer found the man's bag at the bottom of the stairwell.
It was a brief case.
My Tinder bio says I have a corner office with views of the entire city, drive a $500,000 vehicle, and I'm paid to travel My dates are always upset when I tell them I'm a bus driver
Police officer pulls over 2 Catholic priests. Says he's looking for two child molesters. Catholic priests looking at each other: We'll do it!
Putin visits Estonia Immigration officer says: "Name?". "Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin".

"Address?" "Kremlin, Moscow, Russia".

"Occupation?" "No, this time just visiting".
I just saw my math teacher lock himself in his office with a piece of graph paper. I think he must be plotting something.
When I visited Australia, the immigration officer asked me if I had a criminal record… Confused, I replied, Oh, is that still required?
I got arrested for killing a black man. They charged me with impersonating a police officer.

Office joke, I got arrested for killing a black man.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about office can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of office puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Office One Liners

Which office one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with office? I can suggest the ones about department and studio.

Why is every gender equality officer female? Because it is cheaper.
What do you call a cockpit when the pilots are female? The box office.
To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office: I will find you.. You have my Word.
Whoever stole my Microsoft Office, I'm coming after you... You have my word
Who ever stole my copy of Microsoft Office is in trouble. You have my Word.
Why are diversity officers in progressive companies always women? Because it is cheaper.
I shot a Black Man the other day I got charged with impersonating a Police Officer.
Officer, if you are what you eat... Then I'm an innocent man.
A penguin walks into an airport... A TSA officer stops him and says "Penguins can't fly."
Cop asks a guy..how high are you? Guy: no officer, it's hi, how are you.
I shot a black teenager the other day I was arrested for impersonating a police officer.
What language does the post office at Hogwarts speak? Parceltongue
I shot a black man and got caught I was charged with impersonation of a police officer.
A guy asked an officer why is a dog called a K9? Because if its K10, it'll be a cat
I hate people who take drugs Mainly customs officers

Doctor's Office Jokes

Here is a list of funny doctor's office jokes and even better doctor's office puns that will make you laugh with friends.

A man runs into a doctors office screaming: "You've gotta help me doc! I'm shrinking!" The doctor says: "I'm sorry sir I'm very busy today. You'll have to be a little patient."
*burst into doctor's office* ME: I'm no longer canstopetid
DOCTOR: You mean constipated
ME: No I've had a vowel movement
DOCTOR: Get out
A guy barges into a psychiatrist's office, and screams... "Doctor! I have suicidal tendencies! What do I do?!"
The doctor calmly answers "Pay me in advance"
Amazing joke i came up with Sadness walked into the doctors office.
the doctor asked: Whats your appointment?
Sadness anwsered: Dis apoointment.
I think I'm shrinking! A man rushed into the doctor's office and shouted, "Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!"
The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."
Nurse pops her head into the doctor's office..... Nurse: 'Doctor, there's an invisible man in the waiting room.'
Doctor: 'Tell him I can't see him.'
Republicans want small government So small that it fits in your doctors office and your bedroom
A cat walks into a doctor's office A cat walks into a doctor's office. The doctor asks, "What's wrong?"
The cat says, "Me-ow."
The doctor replies, "I know, but where?"
Two old ladies sitting in a doctor's office in Florida... The one says to the other, "I can't see, I can't hear anything and I can barely walk. Thank God I can still drive."
A man walks into a psychiatrists office wearing saran wrap pants. Man: Doctor, I think I'm crazy.
Psychiatrist: Well I can clearly see your nuts.

Doctor Office Jokes

Here is a list of funny doctor office jokes and even better doctor office puns that will make you laugh with friends.

A lawyer walks into a doctor's office with a huge tumor on his face.
Why didn't you come sooner? asks the doctor.
To be honest, I was ashamed to leave the house, the tumor says.
A man walks into a doctor's office and panicks.. Man: "Doctor, I'm shrinking!"
Doctor: "Well, sir you will have to learn to be a little patient."
A lawyer walks into a doctor's office with a huge tumor on his face... Doctor says, Why didn't you come sooner?
The tumor says, To be honest, I was ashamed to leave the house.
A guy walks into a doctors office wearing nothing but clear plastic wrap... Doctor: "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."
I just got out of the doctors office. Doctor: Don't eat anything fatty.
Me: Like what, burgers and fries?
Dr: No, fatty, don't eat anything.
My Son's #1 Concern When my three-year-old was told  to pee in a cup at the doctor's office, he unexpectedly got nervous. With  a shaking voice, he asked, Do I have to drink it?
I have a joke about the doctor's office... But you're gonna have to wait a little longer.
What do the Super Bowl and a doctor's office have in common? Aaron Rodgers won't get a shot at either.
A woman is at the doctor's office, anxiously awaiting the results of a test. The doctor says, "You appear to have vasovagal syncope."
She fainted.
A shrinking man walks into a doctors office. The receptionist says, "you'll have to be a little patient".

Office Work Jokes

Here is a list of funny office work jokes and even better office work puns that will make you laugh with friends.

The most ironic part about working at the unemployment office is... If you get fired, you still have to come in the next day.
One of the girls in the office where I work is going to be having a baby. I just haven't decided which one yet.
I've open 6 birthday cards and I'm up to $150 already. I love working for the post office!
Why don't women work at the post office? It's a mail dominated industry.
Why didn't the feminist get a job at the post office? Because she refused to work in a mail dominated industry.
Me: "It's not about how many times you fall. What matters is how many times you get back up." Officer: "That isn't how field sobriety tests work."
My wife tried to apply at the post office, but they would not letter. They said only mails work here.
I work at a store that was burglarized. An investigating officer asked me where I was between 5 and 6.
He didn't seem pleased when I answered:
"Kindergarten."
Why is Christmas just like another day in the office? Because you do all the hard work and the fat guy in the suit gets all the credit.
I used to work at the unemployment office. I hated it because when they fired me, I had to show up at work anyway.

Friendly Office Jokes

Here is a list of funny friendly office jokes and even better friendly office puns that will make you laugh with friends.

Why do police officers wear blue? Because the black uniforms led to too much friendly fire.
My friend got arrested for shooting an unarmed black teen He was charged for impersonating a police officer.
My friend believes The Office is the best television show, and belittles anyone that thinks otherwise I'm so tired of these Dwight Supremacists
My friend was arrested for beating an unarmed black man to death He was charged with impersonating a police officer.
It wasn't easy for a group of hobbits to see their dead friend at the coroner's office. Because one does not simply walk in the morgue door.
Went to the optometrist office today and bumped into an old friend! I also bumped into the optometrist, the receptionist and I knocked over their sunglasses display.
I was going to dress up as a police officer for Halloween this year But my friends protested.
My friend promised to give me one of his old Microsoft Office licenses. He gave me his Word.
I'm rubber and you're glue. She's tape. He's a stapler. Those guys are paper clips. All my friends are office supplies.
Does anyone know why my friends are so shocked to find out my Grandfather survived Auschwitz? I mean, most German officers did, right?

Office joke, Does anyone know why my friends are so shocked to find out my Grandfather survived Auschwitz?

Gather Around for Fun Office Jokes and Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about office you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean official jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make office prank.

A man took his 6-year-old daughter to his office on 'Take your kid to work day'

As they walked around the office, the girl turned visibly upset and soon started crying. Her father asked her what was wrong
As everyone gathered around, she sobbed "Daddy, I'm getting bored walking around the office. Please show me those clowns you said you work with"

Looks like Trump is keeping up Michelle's ideals of getting America fit again.

One day in office and he has thousands of people getting up and going out for walks on this beautiful Saturday morning.

We were having s**... the other night and to my surprise my wife started punching me in the face.

I have no idea who let her into my office.

I was feeling bad about the future today, but then I installed the new version of office.

It improved my outlook.

An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old
lady, entered the doctor´s office.

"We have come for an examination," said the young girl.
"Alright," said the doctor. "Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off."
"No, not me," said the girl. "it´s my old aunt here."
"Very well,"said the doctor. "Madam, stick out your tongue."

Georgia joke

The owner of a golf course in Georgia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary for some mathematical help.

He called her into his office and said, "Y'all graduated from the University of Georgia and I need some help. If I wuz to give yew $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"

The secretary thought a moment, and then replied, "Everthang but my earrings."

Brazillian

So it's 2004 and the War in Iraq is r**... on.
President Bush calls Sec. Rumsfeld into the Oval Office to discuss the campaign.
Rumsfeld begins by saying, "Sir, there have been no American deaths today. But we do have word that 3 Brazillian soldiers were killed."
Much Rumsfeld's surprise, President Bush begins crying and b**... his hands on the desk in the office.
Rumsfeld says, "Sir, what's wrong?"
Bush replies under his heavy sobs, "Exactly how many is a Brazillian?"

A businessman is at the office.

He was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help. "If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off? " he asked her.
The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings. "

My boss noticed I s**... before coming in to the office today

then he told me if i wanted to keep my job I would have to start keeping my pants on

Officer! That guy threw sodium chloride at me!

Police officer: That's a salt!

An officer pulls up at the scene of an accident

where a car has driven through a field, killed several livestock and crashed into a barn. He decides to interview Steve who is struggling to keep his balance and is being propped up by Karen.
"Been out for a few have we mate?" asks the officer.
"Shuure ave mate" grins Steve.
"I realise you are very drunk sir," states the officer, "but that is absolutely no excuse to let your wife drive you home!"

George W. Bush was sitting in the Oval Office when...

...his secretary walks in with a phone in his hand.
He says, "Three Brazilian soldiers were killed today in Iraq."
Upon hearing this The President says, "Oh my God!" and he buries his head in his hands.
The entire Cabinet was stunned. Usually George Bush showed no reaction whatsoever to these types of reports.
Just then, Bush looked up and said, "How many is a Brazilian??"

I wrote this little ditty just seconds after waking up.

An auto worker storms into his union leader's office. "I have a really pesky booger in my nostril, and management won't get us anymore tissue boxes!!" he shouts.
The union manager calmly responds: "Maybe you should picket."

IT guy

John is being shown around the office by his new boss. They enter the IT department and John sees a man using two keyboards at once. "That's incredible", says John. "Trust a geek to use two keyboards at once". "Hey!" replied his boss. "That's stereotyping. "

This was my grandma's favourite joke

Jenny walks into the doctor's office for a checkup, and the doctor needs to check her heartbeat.
"Pull your sweater up real quick, and I'll use the stethoscope.
There we go, thank you. Big breaths, Jenny."
"Yeth, I know, and I'm only thixthteen!"

A husband sends a text to his wife.

Honey, I got hit by a car outside of the office. Tina brought me to the hospital. They have been taking tests and doing x-rays. The blow to my head is very strong, may be serious. Also, I have 3 broken ribs, a broken arm, a compound fracture on my left leg and they may have to amputate the right foot.
Wife's Response:
Who is Tina?

The principal at my school called me in to his office today. He said "I've just had a rock thrown through my window, are you responsible?"

No, I'm irresponsible. That's why I threw it.

h**... dies and God calls him

After h**... dies, God calls him in His office. When he gets there, God asks "if I gave you the possibility to live another life, what would you do?"
h**... answers "I'd kill all the Jews and twelve Eskimos".
God promptly asks "Why the Eskimos?".
"See, not even you care about Jews!"

A guy walked into a dentist's office...

A guy walks into a dentist's office and says, "I think I'm a moth."
The dentist replies "You shouldn't be here. You should be seeing a psychiatrist..."
The guys replies, "I am seeing a psychiatrist."
The dentist says, "Well then what are you doing here?"
And the guy says, "Your light was on."

Husband send a text to his wife

Husband's text:
>Honey, I got hit by a car outside the office.
Paula brought me to the Hospital.
Doctors presently doing tests and taking X-rays.
Severe blow to my head but not likely to have any lasting effects. Wound required 19 stitches.
I have three broken ribs, a broken arm and compound fracture in the left leg. Amputation of my right foot is a possibility.
Love you.
Wife's response:
>Who's Paula?

Two FBI agents search an office and find a hard drive with "KGB" on it...

One of the agents asks the other, "Why didn't they just write '1 TB' instead?"

Why I won't carpool.

I thought about carpooling with some co-workers to work, but the problem is that on the way to the office we have to go through a tunnel. I'm deathly afraid of this situation. Turns out I have carpool tunnel syndrome.

A student comes to a young professor's office hours...

She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "I would do... anything."
He returns her gaze. "Anything?"
"Anything."
His voice softens. "Anything??"
"Absolutely anything."
His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you... study?"

Apple, the FBI, and John McAfee are sitting in an office...

Only two were invited, but the third one got in through the b**....

A young lady from my office just sent me an email

saying "ithinktherearesomeproblemswithmykeyboardcanyoupleasegivemeanalternative"
Oh boy am I excited, but what does "ternative" mean?

I was at the doctors office the other day...

So I was at the doctor's office and he decided to prescribe a drug for an illness. But when he reached into his pocket to grab a pen so he could write the prescription, he instead pulled out a thermometer. He looked at it, then turned to me and said "Great, some a**...'s got my pen."

An officer was fired for smoking cannabis and m**... on the job.

No name was given but he was a high w**... officer.

Bill Clinton says "Hey Monica, you want to see the clock in the Oval Office?.......

She says "sure"... and goes in there. Bill Clinton unzips his pants and pulls out his little Billy.
Monica says "That's not a clock".
To which Bill replies "It is if you put two hands and a face on it".

Two clowns are running for public office...

It's funny for me though because I live in Canada.

Hilary Clinton could be the first F president ever elected in to office.

Sorry it was supposed to say Female but the emale got deleted.

An old Jewish man dies.

His last wish to his son is to print an obituary. The son goes to newspaper office and asks how much they charge for an obituary. They tell him $5 per word.
He says then print "Solomon dead". The newspaper tell him they require minimum 5 words. He thinks for a moment and says, then make it "Solomon dead, wheelchair for sale".

Jack and Jill work together in an office...

Things are getting very slow and the manager realizes he has to let one of them go but he can't decide. The manager approaches Jill and says "I have to lay you or j**...".
"j**...!" snaps Jill "I have a headache".

My professor called me into his office.

"Your essays are good", he said. "But you need to come up with more reliable sources for the quotes you use."

"But sir," I started, "a man once said 'It is not the speaker that defines the merits of the words, but the words themselves.'"

He sighed. "Who did? Who said that?"

"Dave69 on Pornhub."

An officer was fired for smoking w... and m... on the job...

No exact details were given to the public, but he was a high w**... officer

A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel.

They were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories when the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
''But why?'' they asked, as they moved off.
''Because,'' he said ''I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer.''

Why is the oval office oval shaped?

Because the government cuts corners.

A guy walks into a dentist's office and says, "I think I'm a moth."

The dentist replies "You shouldn't be here. You should be seeing a psychiatrist..."
The guy replies, "I am seeing a psychiatrist."
The dentist asks, "Well, then what are you doing here?"
The guy says, "Your light was on."

Trump calls Angela Merkel's office...

Trump calls Angela Merkel's office. Secretary answers.
Trump: What's the time difference between Washington and Berlin ?
Secretary: Just a second, Mr. President…
Trump: Thanks

A man with no carnal desires walks into a Freudian psychoanalyst's office

The psychoanalyst stops him and says, "hey, buddy, I'm gonna need to see some id."

A man walks into a psychologist's office

The psychologist says, "Tell me about yourself?"
The man replies, "It is my deeply held belief that I am in fact a moth."
The psychologist is a little surprised, but being a professional, he thinks for a moment and says, "Well, I am sure I can help you overcome that."
Indignant, the man shoots back, "No way! I love being a moth, thank-you very much!"
"So why on Earth did you come in here?"
"Oh, well I was just passing by and I saw your light on..."

The boss of a small company has two employees, Jack and Jill…

Just recently the company has been doing badly, so the boss decides one of them must go.
Arriving at his office on Monday, the first person he sees is Jill, so he asks her to step into his office and explains his dilemma.
"Look Jill, I'm afraid I'm going to have to lay you or j**...."
Jill replies, "You'll have to j**... then, 'cause I've got a headache."

After 5 long years of studying, a student comes rushing into Einstein's office shouting...

"Sir, Sir, I finally understand your theory of Special Relativity!"
Einstein rolls his eyes, "It's about time"

Went to the store to buy 6 cans of Sprite...

Got back to the office and realized I had picked 7 up.

"Your next spelling word is: beheaded."

Can you use it in a sentence please?
"Sure, Kathy Griffin beheaded to the unemployment office."

called the UPS office in Germany to ask if they were sending out my Oculus Rift

they said VR ready

Bill Gates and Donald Trump are alone in the Oval Office

Trump remarks,"Bill, together you and I are worth $80 billion."
Bill Gates says,"But I'm worth 90 billion."

I'm still using Office 2010 ...

For lack of a better Word ...

My first day as a car salesman...

Customer: Cargo space?
Me: Car no do that. Car no fly.
Manager: Can I see you in my office?

Student walks into professor's office

She says, "I'm just not doing very well in your class. I was wondering if there was anything I could do to raise my grade?"
The professor looks her up and down and asks, "What are you willing to do to raise your grade?"
"I'd do *anything*," she answers coyly, playing with her hair.
"Anything?"
"*Anything*!" she repeats with a knowing grin.
"Would you....study?"

To the person who stole my Microsoft Office Account...

I will find you. You have my word.

My wife just called me and said, "Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day. They are absolutely gorgeous!"

I repied, "That's probably why they've received flowers then."

Officer: I'm sorry to say this sir, but it looks like your girlfriend has been hit by a truck.

Man: Yeah but she's got a great personality

Security officer: If you find a USB outside, don't bring it into the office

Me (taking notes): Note to self: Only bring international bees into the office

Customer: I want cargo space

Me: Car no do that. Car no fly
Manager: See me in my office

Today I discovered someone had stolen my activation for Microsoft Office...

I don't know who you but I will find you, you have my word.

Some species of frog can jump higher than a 3-story office building.

It's because of their immensely powerful hind legs, and the fact that office buildings cannot jump.

A mother and a son walk into a doctor's office

Because the son has been doing very poorly in his classes.
The mother says to the doctor "I think my son has become s**...."
The doctor says in reply "Well how do you suppose that would happen?"
"Well I don't know for sure but he hasn't passed a single test since he was vaccinated last year."
"Ah-ha! That's it!"
"So it was the vaccines then?"
"No, it's genetic."

My boss came storming in to the office this morning, yelling that he'll fire the employee with the worst posture...

I have a hunch it might be me...

I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday.

My boss said, Clean our your desk, and I'll see you in the office on Monday.

I got a letter that was just addressed to "You Idiot".

What bothers me is that the post office knew where to deliver it.

That's a lot of zeros

An aide comes into the Oval Office and says to Trump:
"Sir, three Brazilian solders were killed in Afghanistan last night."
Trump looks absolutely devastated, nobody's ever seen him like this.
He sinks back in his chair, saying oh my god over and over.
Then he composes himself and says:
Okay. Just remind me, how many are there in a brazillion?"

Did you know if you rearrange all the letters in Post Office

They get really annoyed

A man rushes into the doctors' office and screams, "Doctor, Doctor! I swallowed one of those 'do not eat' packets in a bag of pepperoni! Am I going to die?" The doctor tries to relax him by saying, "Well, everyone is going to die eventually."

The man shrieks and responds, "Everyone?! Oh lord, what have I done?"

A guy just finishes his lasik surgery and his surgeon leads him in his office to discuss the surgery...

The surgeon asks if he wants the good news or bad news first.
The man excitedly ~~replys~~ replies, "I'll take the good news first."
The surgeon tells him, "well you're about to get a new dog."

OFFICER: The victims were dismembered and sacrificed on an alter made of antlers.

Detective: dear god
Officer: most likely yes

A woman went to the doctor's office and seen by one of the new young doctors.

After about four minutes in the examination room, she started screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he told her to sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"
The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and, without looking up, said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"

A russian went out of Stalin's office and says to himself

This s**... mustached man.
A KGB officer hears him and grabs him to stalin and tells him what he heard.
Stalin to the man: who did you mean when you said "mustached man".
The man: h**... of course.
stalin to the KGB officer: And who YOU thought he was referring to?

My wife called me from her work today and said, "Three of the girls in my office just got some flowers for the holidays. They're absolutely gorgeous!" I muttered...

"That's probably why they got flowers then..."

Office joke, My wife called me from her work today and said, "Three of the girls in my office just got some flowe

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these office jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.