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Office Affair Jokes

12 office affair jokes and hilarious office affair puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about office affair that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.


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Office Affair Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.

What is a good office affair joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

A weeping woman bursts into her hypnotist's office

A weeping woman bursts into her hypnotist's office
"I have been faithful to my husband for 15 years, but yesterday I had an affair!" she sobbed.
"The guilt is killing me. I just want to forget that it never happened!"
The hypnotherapist shakes his head and sighs. "Not again...."

Infinity loop

a woman walks into her hypnotherapists office and says " Doctor, I have been loyal to my husband for 12 years but, last night I broke that loyalty and had an affair. I just want you to make me forget it happened". The Doctor said " Not again"

Dr calls man & demands he come into the office immediately.

Dr says you remember those tests we ran a couple of days ago? The man say yes. Dr says well I have some bad news and I have some really bad news. The man say well let me have the bad news first. The Dr says you only have 3 days to live & you need to get your affairs in order. The man says, wow & wants to know what news could be worse? The Dr says, well I forgot to call you yesterday.

Doctor, I have been faithful to my husband for 15 years, but

A weeping woman bursts into her hypnotherapist's office and declares, Doctor, I have been faithful to my husband for 15 years, but yesterday 
I broke that trust and had an affair! The guilt is killing me. I just want to forget that it ever happened!
The hypnotherapist shakes his head. Not again …

The White House Foreign Affairs Officer walks into the oval office and says...

The White House Foreign Affairs Officer walks into the oval office and says "Mr. President, eight Brazilian soldiers were killed in Mexico today!"
The President is real quiet.
"Mr. President, did you hear me?"
"How many is a Brazilian?" the president asks.

Where did the police officer go when he saw his wife cheating on him?

Internal affairs.

LIAR

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Confused, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You liar! You've been playing golf!"

Russian Ministry of public affairs has conducted study

In response to unfounded claims of servile population, we have assessed intelligence of our police forces. Test was simple. Participant must place object into corresponding place. Triangle into triangle place, circle into circle place...simple. Conclusion of tests has revealed two distinct groups of Russian police officer. Group A and group B. Group A is characterize as lacking necessary cognitive processing and inability to complete test. Group B...is very strong.

Two with sausage and meatballs, two without

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there. "But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked. He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back. I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.
Six months went by and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and explained, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means." The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you."
Later that evening, the doctor came home, read the postcard, fell to the floor with a heart
attack. Paramedics rushed him to the ER. The lead medic stayed back to comfort the wife.
He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest. So the wife picked up the card and read, "'Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs, two without.'"

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Confused, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You liar! You've been playing golf!"

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Confused, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You liar! You've been playing golf!"


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Office Affair One Liners

Which office affair one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with office affair? I can suggest the ones about office politics and office party.

  1. Where did the police officer go when he saw his wife cheating on him? Internal affairs.