Offensive Jokes
144 offensive jokes and hilarious offensive puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about offensive that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article contains offensive jokes. If you are easily offended, please do not read this article.
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Funniest Offensive Short Jokes
Short offensive jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The offensive humour may include short offense jokes also.
- What do the twin towers and genders have in common? There used to be two and now it's too offensive to talk about.
- Why are the twin towers and genders so similar? Because there used to be two of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.
- Please stop calling Donald Trump an idiot. As an idiot myself, it's very offensive that people think he's one of us.
- I want to make a school shooting joke, but that might seem offensive. I think I should aim for a younger crowd.
- Told my boss he needs winter tires Got fired. Apparently that's something offensive to say to people in wheelchairs.
- [Offensive] What do you get when you cross a bowl of fruit and the holocaust? Orange Jews from concentrate
- [Offensive] Adolf visits the concentration camp and asks a young boy how old he is "I'll be 6 soon!"
"Nope" - The pros and cons of being overly literal PROS:
People who profit as a result of their occupation.
CONS:
People found guilty of a criminal offense. - Jokes that say women should stay in the kitchen are so offensive... How else are they supposed to clean the rest of the house?
- I can't stand being in a wheelchair. Don't even try and tell me that joke was offensive. Atleast it wasn't a blind joke. I can't see how those are funny.
Share These Offensive Jokes With Friends
Offensive One Liners
Which offensive one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with offensive? I can suggest the ones about aggressive and obnoxious.
- Did you hear about what happened to the really offensive joke about cows? [remooved]
- What do you call a Mexican fighting a Priest? (slightly offensive) alien vs. Predator
- This might be offensive, but what do you call a jewish pokémon trainer? Ash.
- I don't mean to be rude, but the SuperBowl was boring. No offense.
- What do you call a gay Frenchman? A faguette.
(Sorry if offensive) - TIL the term "cannibal" is offensive. They prefer to be called "humanitarians."
- You wouldn't steal a gate. So why would you take offense?
- Did you hear about Richie Incognito? I heard he's an offensive lineman
- Midget quarterback Sorry- that's a little offensive.
- What do you call a 5 year-old with no friends? [offensive] A sandy hook survivor.
- I identify as counter strike, and I find this globally offensive.
- What do you call an LGBTQ+ plane. A biplane.
(This is not meant to be offensive) - Without crossing any lines, what's an offensive joke? The Detroit Lions
- Did you hear what happened to the really offensive joke about tall grass? [re mowed]
- Some protestors are breaking into congress I hear it is a capitol offense
Offensive Irish Jokes
Here is a list of funny offensive irish jokes and even better offensive irish puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The only thing more Irish than a potato is... The lack of even a single one.
PS: No offense. - Irish wedding vs. Irish f**... (Possibly offensive? Naah...) What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish f**...?
One less drunk.
Borderline Offensive Jokes
Here is a list of funny borderline offensive jokes and even better borderline offensive puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What does the Mexicans think of Trump's wall? Some love it, some hate it. Most think its borderline offensive.
- I was going to make a mass shooting joke today But it was borderline too offensive.
- I'm trying to write a racist joke, but... Everything I come up with is borderline offensive.
Comedy Offensive Jokes to Make Your Friends Giggle
What funny jokes about offensive you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean hostile jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make offensive pranks.
How do you stop an anti-vaxer from drowning?
Take your foot off his head.
**
warning sign on children's alphabet blocks
Letters may be used to construct words, phrases and sentences that may be deemed offensive.
Have you ever seen an Asian person with Down Syndrome?
But then again, how could you tell?
Anticipation (may be offensive)
A man notices he is having some very strange medical symptoms, so he goes to the hospital. Tests are run, and he goes home. A few days later, he gets a call from his doctor.
"Doc, finally! Give me the news, this anticipation has been killing me."
"Actually, that's the cancer..."
Offensive Easter Joke
Q: What kind of training did Jesus do for his Easter weekend?
A: Crossfit
What do women and Nvidia have in common? (offensive be warned)
They both do not make very good drivers
A Pakistani living in England (offensive)
A pakistani who had recently moved to England had been feeling extremely ill for a week and so decided to visit the doctor. The doctor asked what was wrong with him and the Pakistani complained of a terrible headache and sickness. Upon hearing this the doctor told him to get a bucket at home and fill it with fish, human f**... and milk and leave it out in the sun for a couple of days before putting it next to his bed as he slept at night and taking it everywhere with him. Astounded, the Pakistani left and did what he was told despite being surprised that he should do such a thing.
Three days later the Pakistani returned to the doctor "It's a miracle!" he exclaimed"I got better overnight! How could have it worked?" to which the doctor replied "It was simple, you were homesick."
A Priest and a Rabbi are walking down an abandoned road... (somewhat offensive)
and they come across a little boy in the unconscious in the ditch. After thinking for a moment, the Priest says "let's screw him" to which the Rabbi replies "out of what?"
WW2 joke. I read this conversation between two Counter-Strike players ingame...
(I came in mid-conversation and for me it started like this)
Player1: I cant believe your nick is Jewhunter, that's so offensive! My grandparents were in a concentration camp during the war.
Player2: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, my grandfather died in a concentration camp.
Player1: My god that's awful...
Player2: Yea, he fell down from the guardtower.
Player1 has left the game
An amateur group of Islamic film makers have posted a video on YouTube which mocks Christianity and Jesus Christ.
It is believed to be so offensive that St Mary's church in Dublin have postponed their tea and cake morning until next Wednesday, and Dorothy O'Neill from Dinlge has written a strongly worded letter.
When will the madness end?
Short self made joke, pretty offensive.
Did you hear about the cannibal who is a vegetarian? Yea, he only eats vegetables.
A man walks up to a counter and says . . .
A man walks up to a counter and says, "Gimme a kielbassi sandwich and a beer."
"Ah," says the person behind the counter. "You must be Polish."
The customer becomes irate. "Now, just a minute," he says, "I happen to take offense at that! Why are you assuming that just because I ordered a kielbassi sandwich and a beer I must be Polish?"
"Well-"
"If I ordered a plate of spaghetti, would you assume I'm Italian?"
"Well, no."
If I ordered corned beef and cabbage, would you assume I'm Irish?"
"No."
"Then why," said the customer, "are you assuming I'm Polish just because I ordered a kielbassi sandwich and a beer?"
"Well . . . this is a hardware store."
Offensive nfl joke. Trigger Warning: Terrorism/World Trade Centre/Religious, anybody who is offended do not open this link
I'm really worried about Tim Tebow taking over the QB position. The last time anybody that religious had control of the Jets 9/11 happened
Methylated Spirit
A scruffy homeless man walks into a DIY store.
"Bottle of methylated spirit please."
"Look mate, no offense but I wasn't born yesterday. I can't sell that to you when I know you're just gonna drink it."
"Hey, what are you implying? This is ridiculous, I'm using it for woodwork!"
"All right, all right..." says the shopkeeper, taking a bottle of the shelf.
"Oh, haven't you got a cold one?"
An Amish Woman
Amish woman(riding a horse and buggy) gets pulled over because reflector on her buggy is broken.. cop says, you might want to have your husband look at your reflector He notices a rope wrapped around the horse's b**...… and ma'am, some folks might find that rope offensive . The lady later makes it home and tells her husband about the event. cop says the reflector is busted… and he didn't like the emergency brake neither
This joke is offensive to feminists.
What do you do when you come across a feminist in the back hallway of a club?
Whatever you do, definitely do not wipe it off for her.
What's the most offensive jokes you guys have?
What's the most offensive jokes you have ever hear
What sort of crime is it if a neckbeard commits m**...?
A fedoral offense.
Topical Jokes for 6/1
A video has surfaced of Justin Bieber saying the n-word. People are calling it the least offensive Justin Bieber video ever.
In Illinois, a 115-pound-woman won a hot dog eating contest, after she ate 28 hot dogs. The judges then congratulated the 138-pound-woman.
The NSA is reportedly collecting millions of images per day to build a f**...-recognition database. The NSA is cataloguing the photos in a massive online database -- it's called Instagram.
A short, crisp, Christianity joke Which I promise is offensive in no way.
So it's early in the morning and the married couple wakes up, both ready for their morning coffee, but none of them are willing to do it. So the wife say's to her husband, " You know, the bible say's that men should make the coffee." Curious the husband asks why and his wife replies "*Hebrews*"
So I was walking outside yesterday(potentially offensive)...
when I saw a black guy with a TV. I was shocked, and I rushed back home, thinking it was mine. But luckily, it was still there, shining my shoes.
Offensive Joke: The principal of my daughter's elementary school wanted to talk me about her behavior.
Apparently she was making racist remarks towards the black kids in her class and insulting them.
I must say I am terrified and very disappointed, she isn't even allowed to talk to them.
Why did the politically correct soccer team never win any matches?
Because no offense.
It was Christmas day.....
and the judge was in a merry mood as he asked the prisoner,"What are you charged with?"
"Doing my Christmas shopping early", replied the defendant.
"That's no offense", said the judge. "How early were you doing this shopping?"
"Before the store opened."
A racist joke (be warned and don't take offense)
Why is it that you never see a black person on a cruise?
They're not falling for that one again..
Is toasting with deaf people offensive?
Hear hear...
I'm getting really sick of all the Holocaust jokes...
My great grandfather died at Auschwitz, so I find these jokes really offensive. Granted, he fell out of a guard tower and broke his neck, but I think that still counts.
It's the first day of high school...
...and the principal is giving an orientation to the freshmen class. He says "Welcome to high school! We have a few rules we must go over. First, men will use the men's locker room, and women will use the women's locker room. If anyone is caught in the other gender's locker room, it is a $20 dollar fine for a first offense, $30 for a second offense, $40 for a third, and so on. Any questions?"
A kid in the back stands up and asks "How much for a season pass?"
Probably offensive
My friend and I were walking down the street the other day when we saw a young black man running past with a TV. "That looked just like mine!" I exclaimed. We immediately rushed home to check but everything was fine, mine was still polishing my shoes.
Why were the Boston Marathon Bombings worse than h**...? (OFFENSIVE)
Because they actually managed to end a race.
A blonde and a brunette are on an elevator...
And a short man with dandruff gets on and then comes off on the next floor.
The brunette goes, "Wow, that guy could really use some Head and Shoulders."
The blonde says, "How do you give shoulders?"
No offense anyone...hehe
What's the difference between a Jew and Harry Potter
Warning: Offensive
Harry got out of the chamber.
What's the difference between ten black d**... and a black joke? (offensive)
A black woman can't take a black joke.
I was going to be a quarterback for Halloween at work...
...but my boss said we couldn't be anything offensive.
What is the difference between American teenage girls amd Muslim teenage girls? (Offensive)
American teenage girls get s**... BEFORE they have s**....
Why did the anorexic cow take great offense when the farmer wished him Merry Christmas?
...because he was a moo-slim.
Pikachu used racist comments
It's super offensive!
Why was the i**... immigrant so offensive?
Because he crossed the line
Don't compare whales to feminists...
It's very offensive to whales
What is the most offensive coffee to tornado victims?
House blend.
Post your most offensive joke? Sure.
Whats the worst part about being a black jew? Having to sit in the back of the oven :D
[offensive] Why didn't h**... become an artist?
Because he hated mixing colors...
I was going to make a joke about Counter Strike...
But it would be globally offensive.
Offensive joke I thought of in class
Me and my friend were talking about the last time he has to work at his job.
"Yeah my last day of work is September 11"
I reply " Yeah that was a lot of other people's last day of work too"
Currently the most offensive joke going through my head.
What did the female Marine get moments after she was gang r**... by her fellow Marines?
A Dishonourable Discharge.
What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jewish person?
The Boy Scout comes home from camp.
^First ^time ^posting ^on ^this ^sub ^don't ^know ^what's ^too ^offensive ^and ^what's ^not ^sorry.
Why was the Trebuchet so rude?
It was an offensive siege weapon!
The term 'Grammar n**...' is outdated and offensive...
...we prefer to be called the Alt-Write
A Saudi prince recently requested that n**... statues be covered up while visiting Rome.
Apparently his 9 year old wife found them offensive.
[Offensive] An old man and a little girl walk into the woods
An old man and a little girl are walking in the woods on a dark night. The little girl turns to the old man and says "im scared". The old man looks at the little girl and replies "... youre scared? I have to walk back alone!"
If the current Russian president is preparing to lead a series of swift military offensives...
...does that mean he's Putin on a blitz?
Holocaust jokes are...
out of Mein Kamf-ort zone, Anne Frank-ly I find them offensive.
I tried to start a religious social media page called Faithbook...
...but it was deemed offensive by the American Lisp Association.
[Offensive] Whenever I think about Will Smiths son...
I wonder if black kids really are worse off without fathers.
(Offensive) You know why americans lose every game of chess?
Because they start with two towers missing.
What criminal offense do college students commit the least?
Resisting a rest.
No offense against anyone....
But at least my defense is top tier.
Why can't paraplegics cook Chinese food?
Because they can't "wok."
Note: May be cheesy and offensive, but I coined this joke when humor could be silly and irreverent, and y'all were begging for non-reposts.
A young man sits down at a bar and says, "I want six shots of Jagermeister."
"Six shots!?" exclaims the bartender, "Are you celebrating something?"
"My first b**...," replies the young man.
"Well, in that case," says the bartender, slapping him on the back, "let me give you a seventh on the house."
The man holds up his hand, "No offense, sir. But if six shots don't get rid of the taste, nothing will."
Not to be offensive but: I find gay men so hard to understand after you ask them something
It's just they never give a straight answer.
The idea that women only belong in the kitchen is dated and offensive.
The rest of the house needs cleaned too
Can these Madeline McCann jokes on here please stop? They're offensive and getting pretty old.
Unlike Madeline mccann.
