Offending Jokes
28 offending jokes and hilarious offending puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about offending that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover how to make sure that your jokes don't offend anyone. Learn the importance of being mindful of the manner in which you communicate and how to spot a potential violation of social norms. Follow these tips humbly to ensure your jokes will be well received.
Funniest Offending Short Jokes
Short offending jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The offending humour may include short offender jokes also.
- A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. judge asks, "First offender?" She replied: "No, first a Gibson, and then a Fender."
- A woman is arrested for beating her husband up with his guitar collection. The judge asked "First offender?"
The wife answered "No. First a Gibson. Then a Fender" - Is it "Happy Impeachment" or "Merry Impeachment"? I don't want to offend anyone.
Treason's Greetings and Impeach Navidad! - I shouldn't make jokes at the expense of my anti-vax neighbours so much... They tend to get offended by those hurtful little jabs
- I told a girl she would look better with her hair back and she got really offended. Chemo patients are so sensitive.
- In the hospital, I asked the charge nurse for a phone charger - she was very offended. Don't even get me started on the reaction from the head nurse.
- I'm Mexican I'm not offended by taco jokes or fiesta jokes. But Immigration jokes?
They cross the line. - Apparently, you can only say "Look at you! You got so big!" to children... Old girlfriends seem to get offended.
- A woman is accused of attacking her husband with several of his guitar The Judge asked "First time offender?"
She replied, "No, first time a Gibson, then a Fender." - My wife made me dinner the other day. She got offended when I put down my knife and fork and said, "This dinner is disgusting" then my wife said, "Well, boil your own toast next time then"
Share These Offending Jokes With Friends
Offending One Liners
Which offending one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with offending? I can suggest the ones about offensive and offence.
- How do you offend an American? Don't worry, they'll find something to be offended about.
- Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender.
- Only true feminists will get this Offended
- Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor? Because it can't hit home
- Why did Paul Walker cross the road? Because he wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
- What are the magic words you say to get what you want? I'm offended
- Don't make fun of vegans... They only have the energy to be offended once or twice a day.
- Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was in the 6 offenders registry.
- How do you offend an African-American and Chinese person? Make a joke about brack people.
- Why do blind people get so offended by every joke? It's all dark humour.
- What really offends amputees? Off-handed comments.
- Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven is a registered six offender
- I like my women like my kernels
about 6 years old and stable - Im offended by physicists being all about black matter I think All Matter
- How do you offend a photon? You tell it that it doesn't matter.
Non Offending Jokes
Here is a list of funny non offending jokes and even better non offending puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- As an American, I am deeply offended whenever I hear non-Americans call America a nation of fat idiots . . . . . . then I remember that we had a national panic when they quit making Twinkies.
Experience Instant Grins & Giggles with Playful Offending Jokes
What funny jokes about offending you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean misbehaving jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make offending pranks.
A woman is accused of beating her husband half to death with his guitar collection.
The judge looks down at her and asks, "First offender?"
The woman replies, "nope, first a Martin, then a Gibson, then a Fender."
We should have a TV show where i**... immigrants hunt down s**... offenders for a chance at citizenship
We can call it "alien vs Predator"
A Russian enters a bar full of Turkish people.
He's wearing a t-shirt with bright lettering "turkish got 3 problems."
Just a few seconds later the Turkishs oppose him and say "Hey, yopu know what you're wearing is insulting?"
The russian responds: "This is your first problem: You're so easily offended."
The Turkish respond: "Okay, maybe we should settle this outside."
The Russian: "That's your second problem: You always want to solve your problems with violence."
The Turkish bring him outside and pull their knives.
The Russian: "And here's your third problem. You always bring knives to gun fights."
For extra cash consider robbing s**... offenders.
Their address is easy to find, and they can't own guns.
Only downside is politicians usually have good security.
I can't believe that there is a s**... offender registry.
Who would buy gifts for these people?
Two fat ladies walk into a bar
They order drinks, in a thick accent.
"You two ladies from Ireland?" asks the bartender.
Offended, one of them replies "Wales!"
"Oh I'm so sorry," says the bartender, "Are you two whales from Ireland?"
Two l**... named Rachel walk in to a wedding cake shop...
To plan for their upcoming nuptials. After learning that the cake will be for their own wedding, the baker refuses service. Offended, the couple can't believe the guy is so opposed to gay marriage we won't even bake a cake. The baker replies, "No no I'm fine with gay marriage-- I just can't support inter-Rachel marriage."
Two l**... named Rachel walk in to a bakery...
To buy a cake for their upcoming wedding. After learning that the cake will be for their own wedding, the baker refuses service. Offended, the couple can't believe the guy is so opposed to gay marriage that he won't even bake a cake. The baker replies, "No no I'm fine with gay marriage-- I just can't support inter-Rachel marriage."
(posted before but I felt it was an appropriate time for it to rerun.)
A man buys a parrot and brings him home.
But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really n**..., so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson. He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden the parrot is quiet. The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him, and says, "I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness."
The man says, "Well, thank you. I forgive you."
The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the chicken do?"
