Gather Around for Heartwarming Ofcourse Jokes and Uplifting Humor
People say to me Jesus was not Jewish
## I say ofcourse he was Jewish
+ 30 years old, Single, Living at home with his parents
+ Working in his father's business
+ His mother thought he was God's gift
## He's Jewish. Give it up
****
_by Robin Williams_
Happy Birthday Robin!
I have a kid in africa
which I feed, clothe and school for less than a dollar a day, which is really cheap.
Ofcourse the plane ticket to send him there was quite expensive, but now it's really working out.
(stolen from the awesome Jeselnik)
I was with my wife in Russia when it starts to drizzle
So I say to my wife "It's raining" she quickly responds (looking to start a fight) "Actually, I think it's snowing".
This goes back and forth for a few minutes when I notice my buddy Officer Rudolf of the communist national guard. I go over to him and ask, "Officer Rudolf, is it raining or snowing?"
He glances over and replies, "raining, ofcourse".
I turn back to my wife and triumphantly announce, "See, Rudolf the red knows rain dear!"
God vs Satan
In contrast to popular beliefs, Heaven and h**... dont lie above each other, but next to each other.
Because God didnt want people be tempted to cross sides, he came to an agreement with Satan: they would have a wall build and split the bill afterwards.
Ofcourse as you could imagin when the wall was build, Satan plays deaf and dumb when it comes to the bill.
After some time God is fed up with Satan's behaviour and confronts him. "If you dont pay your share, i'll sue you!"
Satan shrugs and laughs: "what are you going to do? I got all the lawyers here"
Drive through counter was being robbed...
While she was held at gunpoint, a cop car shows up at the counter.
Cops : Can we have 2 burgers.
Lady : give the burgers casually and passes a note that says "we have two armed men inside"
Cops : *reads the note* ofcourse they are two armed, how can one armed men make burgers O__o
Ofcourse mentally disabled people should be allowed to have jobs...
But to make them president of the United States is a bit to much.
What do you get when you put 8 black men and a Gun together ?
The 100m Olympic Finals, ofcourse.
Boy: Do you spit or s**...?
Girl:WHAT?! Spit or s**... what?
Boy:You know... when you have it... in your mouth
Girl:You're so dirty!! Ofcourse I s**....
Boy:And what about swallowing toothpaste makes you so clean?
My father used to tell me " Not until we are lost, do we begin to find ourselves."
Now its been 17 years since he left home ( to get milk, ofcourse)
I feed and clothe a child in Africa for 30 cents a day.
Ofcourse that's nothing compared to what it cost to send him there
Father and son are drinking fruit juice. ....
And after seeing how the juice is made....
Son: Is there any machine where we put in juice and it gives out fruit?
Father: Ofcourse there is!!! You are the fruit of that machine!
You can explore ofcourse girfriend reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean ofcourse btw dad jokes. There are also ofcourse puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
An apartment building with three floors...
There is an apartment building with three floors. A different family lives on each floor. Floor one a black family. Floor two a Mexican family. Floor three a white family. Unfortunately a tornado destroys the apartment building at 2:00PM, leaving only one surviving family. Which family survived? The white family ofcourse because the kids were at school and their parents were at work.
To be frank
I'd have to get a new ID
And ofcourse be a perfect man
