Odd Jokes
127 odd jokes and hilarious odd puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about odd that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Satisfy your odd cravings with this collection of random, strange, and weird jokes about odd numbers, odd couples, odd socks, and more! Laugh along with the odd one out, quiver with delight, and experience the satisfying sensation of oddity. Try something new - read the oddest jokes around!
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Funniest Odd Short Jokes
Short odd jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The odd humour may include short blank jokes also.
- I was sitting at the bar arranging peanuts into piles of 1, 3, 5 and 7. The bartender asked me if I was trying to set up some odd joke. I told him No, but I would have done that in my prime.
- Jesus was born on Christmas, died on good friday and rose on Easter. What are the odds?!?!
- Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster? A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.
- My wife has an odd way of starting conversations. She always begin by saying "Hey, are you even listening?"
- I challenged the number 1 to a fight. When 1 showed up, he brought 3, 5, 7 and 9. The odds were against me.
- I was watching Australian Master chef last night... Some guy made a meringue and everybody cheered...
I thought... That's odd, normaly in Australia they boo meringue - I saw a millennial chick at the supermarket and thought she looked odd. Then I realised she can't even.
- Hired a handy man and gave him a list. When I got home, only items #1, 3, & 5 were done. Turns out, he only does odd jobs.
- How many suburban white girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? An odd number, because they can't even.
- I think my calculator is broken... The only numbers that seem to work are 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. It's very odd.
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Odd One Liners
Which odd one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with odd? I can suggest the ones about weird and strange.
- I just realized that the word seven has 'even' in it. That's odd.
- Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups? Because they can't even.
- Why is six afraid of seven? Because there's something odd about him
- '2' managed to be prime, Against all the odds.
- Why do white girls always travel in odd numbers? Because they literally can't even.
- I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9 The odds were against me.
- Why do bugs have odd beliefs? They're in sects.
- Please don't use odd and obscure colognes and perfumes.... Common scents, people!
- "You're odd" she said. "Not even" I replied.
- Seven has the word 'even' in it... ...which is odd.
- Seven has even in it Which is odd
- I was attacked by 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9 The odds were against me
- I got into an argument with 1,3,5,7 and 9. The odds were against me.
- We should give credit to the number 2. It became a prime number against all odds.
- 2 was fighting 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9 2 won, against all odds
Odd One Out Jokes
Here is a list of funny odd one out jokes and even better odd one out puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Yesterday I saw a police officer wearing a pilot's uniform I thought it was a bit odd.
Then I realized he was one of those "plane clothes cops." - One of my sisters got pregnant... Which is odd since I'm the only priest in the nunnery.
- Circumcisions are odd. Expensive ones are worth it, while... Cheap ones are ripoffs
- Who is the odd one out between.... Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, Bill Cosby and the tooth fairy? The Easter bunny, the rest only come when you are sleeping.
- A mathematician stared at a number line It started at one and then skipped every second number. He thought to himself "This is odd."
- What's the odd one out? A. Flour
B. Yeast
C. Royalty
D. Meat
D. Meat because it's usually not in bread. - Mr. T had a rare form of cancerous lymphoma that affected T-cells. Do you know what the odds are on that?! One in 26.
- If there's one good thing about the election of Trump, it's the greatly lowered odds of being attacked by Russia. After all, they're not going to key their own car.
- One round of Russian roulette gives you better-than-even odds of surviving, but consequences of not surviving is.... Mind Blowing!
- I got an odd-job man in. He was useless! Gave him a list of eight things to do and he only did numbers one, three, five and seven.
Odd Numbers Jokes
Here is a list of funny odd numbers jokes and even better odd numbers puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why do sorority girls always travel in odd numbers? Because they can't even.
- 2 is the only even prime number. It's kind of odd, isn't it?
- You know what's odd? Every other number.
- You know what seems odd to me? Numbers that can't be divided by two.
- Wanna know something odd? Numbers not divisble by 2
- Why do white girls come in odd numbers? Because they can't even
- Why can't two even numbers be together? The odds are against them.
- Why do teenage girls only hang out in odd-numbered groups? Because they just can't even.
- Why do girls travel in odd numbered groups? Because they can't even...
- Why do blondes travel in odd-numbered packs? Because they can't even.
Odd Number Jokes
Here is a list of funny odd number jokes and even better odd number puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why do teens only hang in odd numbers Because they literally, can't even.
Update: corrected the spelling error. Thanks for the feedback. - Why do popular teenage girls travel in odd numbers? Because they can't even.
- I saw an upside down number 6, and I thought... 'That's odd'
- You know what seems odd to me? Numbers that aren't divisible by two
- You know what's really odd? Numbers not divisible by two
- Why do teenage girls hang out groups with an odd number of people? Because they can't even.
- Why do millennials prefer odd numbers? Because they can't even.
- I was talking to a guy about favourite numbers... He said his was 7. What an odd fella
- I never trusted the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 9 and 11…. There's just something *odd* about them. But the numbers 2, 4, 6, 8, 10 and 12 are *even* worse than them.
- The even numbers said... The odds are against us.
Heartwarming Odd Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about odd you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean eerie jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make odd pranks.
Today my son threw a quarter in the well at the mall and said "I wish my dad was dead." And because of his attitide we went home without buying anything.
When we got to our house we saw an ambulance and the coroner at Jim's house, apparently he had a freak heart attack about thirty minutes before hand, it was odd because he was a personal trainer and in great shape, my wife seemed real upset by his passing. Though it was strange because I've never even seen them speak to eachother.
My grandfather's favorite joke.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where ya left it.
[My grandfather suffers from dementia and for some odd reason he remembers this joke and continues to tell it.]
2 foreign immigrants have just arrived in USA by boat and one says to the other,
''"I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs." One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
My dad's favorite. (Get the groan ready)
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and...with his odd diet...he suffered from bad breath.
This made him...
...a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
I always take 40 or 50 lighters with me in a bag...
Not because I'll need them, but you can always use a lighter bag when hiking.
And I make sure it's not an odd number so that way it's even lighter.
Y'know Mahatma Gandhi?
Well, he walked a lot, and that means he had really calloused feet.
He also had an odd diet, that didn't consist of much, which made him frail.
This diet also gave him very bad breath.
This made him...
A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
I came home with a salamander on my shoulder and my son, all excited, shouted, "What's his name!?
Smiling, I replied, Tiny!"
My kid laughed and asked, What an odd name, why do you call him Tiny?
I explained, Because...he's my newt!"
There once was a boy named "Odd."
People made fun of him because of his name, so he decided to keep his gravestone blank when he died.
Now when people pass by the burial site, they point and say, "That's odd."
A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder...
The bartender says "What a strange pet, what's his name?"
"Tiny." the man replies.
"What an odd name, why do you call him tiny?"
"Because he's my newt."
Body Pain
A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, Doctor I'm hurting all over my body.
That's odd , replied the doctor, Show me what you mean
So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on.
The doctor says, You're not a natural brunette are you?
No I'm a blonde , she replies.
I thought so…. your finger is broken. , replies the doctor.
That pig is a hero.
One day two farmers are chatting and farmer 1 notices that farmer 2 has an odd pig.
Farmer 1: "hey why does that pig over there only got three legs?"
Farmer 2: "oh that pig, he's a hero. bout a month ago there was a fire at my house and that pig came in, and pulled my whole family out of the house while we were sleeping."
Farmer 1: "oh, so it lost the leg in the fire?"
Farmer 2: "no, a pig like that you don't eat all at once."
I handed my wife some paracetamol.
I handed my wife some paracetamol (i.e Tylenol), to which she gave me an odd look. She asked me "why would I want these?"
"Do you not have a headache?"
"No" she responded.
"Not feeling unwell at all?"
"No, I am feeling perfectly fine".
"That's great, we can have s**... this evening then".
So there were two larger girls at the bar...
I went to the bar and overheard two heavy girls talking with an odd accent.
I asked them, 'Are you two ladies from Scotland?'
One turned to me and said, 'It's Wales, you idiot!'
'Oh, I'm sorry. Are you two whales from Scotland?'
Thought I'd share a favorite on my cake day
Gandhi used to walk barefoot on most days, neglecting modern footwear, and eventually grew a strong set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather weak and with his odd diet, suffered from very, very bad breath. To others he smelled atrocious, this super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
A woman walks into a tattoo parlor.
Asking the man in charge to put a picture of a turkey saying "Happy Thanksgiving!" on one thigh and a picture of Santa saying "Merry Christmas!" on the other. The man looked confused by her odd request, so he asked her why. She calmly looked at him and replied without even a stutter. "My husband always complains that there's nothing good to eat between Christmas and Thanksgiving."
A nun is walking to church.
As she passes her local store, the shopkeeper says, "Wake up on the wrong side of the bed today, Sister?"
She finds it odd, but keeps walking. On her walk, three more people pass her and say, "Wake up on the wrong side of the bed today, Sister?"
Still baffled as she gets to the church, she walks to another nun at the pulpit and asks, "Why does everyone keep asking me if I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today?!"
The other nun looks down and says, "You're wearing the priest's shoes"
A young priest asked his bishop, May I smoke while praying? ...
The answer was an emphatic No!
Later, when he sees an older priest puffing on a cigarette while praying, the younger priest scolded him, You shouldn't be smoking while praying! I asked the bishop, and he said I couldn't do it!
That's odd, the old priest replied. I asked the bishop if I could pray while I'm smoking, and he told me that it was okay to pray at any time!
The year is 2540, a student notices something odd about his history book
How come these textbooks skip the years 1990 through 1999? He asks
The teacher puts down his marker, lowers his head and sighs.
Because... he lifts his head, a single tear rolls down his cheek, ...only 90's kids remember the 90's
The very spiritual Gandhi walked everywhere, leaving him with impressive calluses. And he ate very little, which made him rather frail. His odd diet also plagued him with bad breath. I guess you could say.....
That he was a super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
Gandhi...
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him ....A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
A teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence.
"The sky is definitely blue," said one girl.
"Nice try but the sky can be black or purple or even orange," replied the teacher.
"The grass is definitely green," said a little boy.
"Well... The grass can be brown too."
Little Johnny raised his hand.
"Yes Johnny?"
"Are farts solid?" asked little Johnny.
Finding this an odd question she was slightly shocked, but answered anyway, "No Johnny."
"Well I definitely pooped my pants."
There was a man once who was named "Odd"
He hated his name because he was bullied due to his name in School. His whole life he had to endure people making fun out of him. When he was old and on his death bed, he told his children that his headstone should not have his name and should be blank. After he died, his children fulfilled his wish and put up a blank headstone.
Later when people were passing by his grave, they would look at his blank headstone and say - "Hmmm. Thats Odd".
Old lady on the bus
she hands the bus driver some peanuts, to which he says "thank you" and eats them all.
Few moments later she hands him some more peanuts. This time he says "oh no thank you, why don't you eat them". Old lady replies " oh i couldn't possibly do that, I have no teeth you see".
"That's a bit odd, why do you buy them if you can't eat them?" Driver says.
Old lady replies "I only like the chocolate coating"
Snow wife.
One winter morning while listening to the radio, Bob and his wife hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today.
You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Bob's wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 6-8 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Bob's wife goes out and moves her car again.
The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park..." then the electric power goes out.
Bob's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through?"
With the love and understanding in his voice like all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Bob says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"
i was in Jerusalem for a holiday
Needing my cuppa of java i wandered into a cafe and was served by a male barista. I found it odd that there were no female Baristas so i made it a point to keep a lookout for them across the holy land.
From Starbucks to coffee club, from hipster cafes to neighborhood coffeehouses, not a female barista could be found.
Perplexed by this, i finally asked the Jewish barista at the starbucks at the airport when i was about to leave. He thought about it for a moment, shrugged his shoulders and said simply:
Hebrews.
A mans wife was in labor when the doctor said...
You know, there is an experimental technology that can transfer your pain to the father, but he will feel the pain 10 times as much
The husband, seeing his wife in pain hurt him too much and said, Do it. I'm strong enough
The doctor then did it, and the man didn't feel a thing, which the doctor found odd.
Later, the couple came home, and found their mailman, on their driveway, dead.
Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet.
He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath.
This made him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
An Odd f**......
A guy is just coming out of the store when he sees an unusual f**... procession moving down the road. In front is a black hearse, which is followed at a respectable distance of about 30 feet by another, slow moving hearse. Behind the two walks a man with a dog. And some twenty feet behind him is a line of 100 more men, walking just as slowly.
His curiosity gets the better of him and he approaches the man with the dog as they pass, falling into step beside him.
"This may not be the best time..." he begins "but I've never seen a f**... like this, so I need to ask what's going on. Who's in the first hearse?"
"My wife" says the man with the dog, mournfully. "She yelled at me, so Rover attacked and killed her." As if it feels guilty, the dog lowers its head and tail at the mention of his name.
"Oh.. oh my. I'm so sorry for your loss." Says the second guy. He walks alongside in respectful silence for a while before, once more, curiosity gets the better of him. "So whose in the second hearse?"
"My mother-in-law." comes the reply. "She tried to help my wife, so Rover killed her too."
"Oh my god, that's awful!" says the other guy, and walks alongside in respectful silence for a moment more. Eventually, he looks up and says "I don't suppose I could borrow your dog, could I?"
"Get in line." answers the guy.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Since seven was a child, he has always been a prime number. He excelled at everything he did, but he was kind of odd. Seven was very vengeful and quick to anger. Even though he was popular and well praised, he couldn't stand the sight of six, who was well rounded and has a good circle of tight friends.
When prom came, seven was alone and bitter. Of all his achievements, not one helped him land a date. Then six came in with his +1. Filled to the brim with jealousy, seven spread rumors that 6 and 9 were performing unspeakable acts. Six was alone again.
While walking to class, six saw seven with six's former +1 and averted his eyes. As they passed by eachother, seven whispered into six's ear "now, we're even".
Mahatma Gandhi...
...walked barefoot a lot, which probably produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. I've heard he also ate very little, which could have made him rather frail. The odd diet he kept leads me to believe he suffered from bad breath. I suppose you could have called him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
So aliens from Mars comes down to Earth...
...And they're friendly! The leaders of the world and the aliens plan a huge televised event where the leaders can ask questions on whatever they want.
During this event, the pope is up to talk to the aliens.
"I know this question may sound odd to you gentlemen," the pope starts to ask, "but I was wondering if you and your kind knew about Jesus Christ?"
"Jesus Christ?!?" the alien leader exclaims, "how do we not! He swings by our planet every two years or so. Awesome guy!"
Now this obviously starts a huge debate within the UN, as this information now has implications to everything they knew. The pope, however, is not exactly a happy person as his brain is on other information.
"EVERY TWO YEARS OR SO?!?" The pope exclaims, "We've still been waiting for his SECOND coming!"
Trying to calm down the pope, the aliens say "Well maybe he didn't like your chocolate."
The pope, upon hearing this news, takes a few moments to calm down. When he finally regains his composure, he states calmly, "Forgive me, but what does chocolate have anything to do with this?"
The aliens respond, "Well when he was on our planet, we would give him huge boxes of chocolates. Why, what did you guys do when he was here?"
Two Scottish nuns
Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, "I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs."
"Odd," her companion replied, "But if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, the mother superior pointed to a hot dog vendor and they both walked towards it. "Two dogs, please," said one.
The vendor was only too pleased to oblige and he wrapped both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurried over to a bench and began to unwrap their 'dogs'.
The mother superior was first to open hers, stared at it for a moment, then leaned over to the other nun and whispered cautiously, "What part did you get?"
Two out-of-work Mexicans knock on a rich guy's door - looking for odd jobs
The rich guy feels for them, so he says, "I'll give you 100 bucks to go out back and paint my porch."
The Mexicans can't believe their luck - and agree. The rich guy gives them a few gallons of paint and some brushes.
About an hour later, they knock on the door. The guy answers, and the Mexicans tell him they are done. He says, "I can't believe you're done so fast. That should have taken at least 5 hours."
One of the Mexicans says, "We are done, Senor. But I have to tell you - that wasn't no porch. That was a Mercedes."
You may think i'm odd for eating ham and pineapple sandwiches..
But hey..
That's just Hawaii roll.
If an animal was little, blue and had leaves coming out of it you'd think it's odd
But if it was a Pokemon, you'd think it's just Oddish.
My wife berated me last night about my conversational skills...
"Have you even listened to anything I said??" is a very odd start to a conversation.
My teen daughter is acting really odd.
She can't even. It's causing a family divide. We've got to figure it out before our problems multiply.
My wife said. are you even listening to me? She turned around and walked away. I stared at her blankly and thought that's an odd way to start a conversation
Huh?
A black Jewish guy
A black Jew runs up to his father and asks his father if he is more Jewish or more black. The father asks his son why he just asked this odd question, the son says "there is a boy at school selling his old bike for $50 and I am wondering if I should haggle it down to $40 or just steal it."
My wife just yelled at me, "You haven't listened to a single word I've said"
I thought that was a pretty odd way to start a conversation
A blonde was going door to door...
She was looking to do odd jobs and chores to make some extra money. She knocks on a door, a guy answers and she asks if he has any chores he needs done. He said "sure I need my porch painted. I'll give you $100 if you do a good job". He shows her where the paint and brushes are and she says she'll make it look great. 30 minutes later, she knocks on his door and says "I'm done" and he replies "already? I thought it would take hours". She assured him she was finished and then said "by the way, that's a Ferrari, not a porch".
The wife asked me what I was doing on the internet last night.
I told her I was looking for flights. "I love you!" she said and then she got all excited. That night we had the most amazing s**... ever... which is odd because she's never shown an interest in darts before.
7, 11 and 13 walk into a bar
7 turns to 11 and 13 and says, "This is a prime example of how odd we are!"
So a moth walks into a bar...
... which is odd because moths can fly.
Year 2019
So far, 2019 seems odd.
Like every other year.
Odd how you can only send mail during the day.
They are called post office hours, after all.
Ghandi
Mahatma Gandhi lived a strange life
Because of his odd diet, he was plagued by a constant case of bad breath. This diet also left him rather thin and frail.
Because he didn't wear shoes, and he walked everywhere, he developed an impressively thick set of calluses on the soles of his feet.
All-in-all, he was a super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
Blonde and the pervert.
Who's really annoyed because a pervert keeps peeping through the keyhole while shes in the bathroom. One day she has a brilliant idea though. So the next day the pervert sees the blonde going to the bathroom, as the pervert approaches the bathroom he notices something odd.... the door isn't there anymore and he can see the blonde completely n**... changing her clothes. The blonde laughs at the pervert and says "Can't peep through the keyhole anymore!"
I have an odd friend who gets off to the dictionary.
It's weird but he's come to terms with it.
The Chinese recently made a scientific discovery.
They discovered a louse so small that it lives on the back of the common housefly.
It's a remarkable discovery, but it's gone completely unnoticed because nobody thinks it odd that the Chinese are raving about their fly lice.
A meathead is counting loudly in the gym as he does bench press...
1! 3! 5! 7! 9!
Another meathead:
Do you even lift bro
Meathead: Nah I only odd lift bro
I've been getting some odd pop up ads recently:
Hot older men in your area want to know if you've been messing with the thermostat
A motorist stopped at a country ford and asked an Irishman sitting nearby how deep the water was. "A couple of inches." replied the Irishman. So the motorist drove into the ford and his car promptly disappeared beneath the surface in a cauldron of bubbles.
"That's odd" thought the Irishman. "The water only goes halfway up on them ducks."
Which one is the odd one out; monopoly, r**..., i**...?
r**.... It's not a family game.
Noticed something very odd when reading the obituaries yesterday…
everyone is dying in alphabetical order!
Son: Dad what is 69?
Dad: Hmmm... well son, it is a position where a man and a woman pleasure each other o**... at the same time.
Son: So. What shall I write? Odd or even?
Dad:....
I was woken up today by a tap on my door
Odd sense of humor my plummer has.
Feminists need to learn spelling
So yesterday, I was walking down the street when a girl claiming to be a feminist handed me this flyer. It said, "PUT A WOMEN IN THE WHITE HOUSE".
I looked up at her confused and walked away.
That was an odd way to spell kitchen...
