Odd Jokes
127 odd jokes and hilarious odd puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about odd that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Satisfy your odd cravings with this collection of random, strange, and weird jokes about odd numbers, odd couples, odd socks, and more! Laugh along with the odd one out, quiver with delight, and experience the satisfying sensation of oddity. Try something new - read the oddest jokes around!
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Funniest Odd Short Jokes
Short odd jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The odd humour may include short blank jokes also.
- I was sitting at the bar arranging peanuts into piles of 1, 3, 5 and 7. The bartender asked me if I was trying to set up some odd joke. I told him No, but I would have done that in my prime.
- Jesus was born on Christmas, died on good friday and rose on Easter. What are the odds?!?!
- Which one is the odd one out; a Crab, a Tuna, a Chinese man run over by a bus or a Lobster? A tuna, because the rest of them are crustaceans.
- I was watching Australian Master chef last night... Some guy made a meringue and everybody cheered...
I thought... That's odd, normaly in Australia they boo meringue - Hired a handy man and gave him a list. When I got home, only items #1, 3, & 5 were done. Turns out, he only does odd jobs.
- I think my calculator is broken... The only numbers that seem to work are 1, 3, 5, 7, and 9. It's very odd.
- You may think i'm odd for eating ham and pineapple sandwiches.. But hey..
That's just Hawaii roll. - If an animal was little, blue and had leaves coming out of it you'd think it's odd But if it was a Pokemon, you'd think it's just Oddish.
- My wife berated me last night about my conversational skills... "Have you even listened to anything I said??" is a very odd start to a conversation.
- My teen daughter is acting really odd. She can't even. It's causing a family divide. We've got to figure it out before our problems multiply.
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Odd One Liners
Which odd one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with odd? I can suggest the ones about weird and strange.
- I just realized that the word seven has 'even' in it. That's odd.
- Why do teenage girls hang out in odd-numbered groups? Because they can't even.
- '2' managed to be prime, Against all the odds.
- I got into a fight with 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9 The odds were against me.
- Why do bugs have odd beliefs? They're in sects.
- Please don't use odd and obscure colognes and perfumes.... Common scents, people!
- "You're odd" she said. "Not even" I replied.
- We should give credit to the number 2. It became a prime number against all odds.
- 2 was fighting 1, 3, 5, 7 and 9 2 won, against all odds
- Just to let you know, My name is Three And before you say anything, I know, it's odd
- 2 is the only even prime number. It's kind of odd, isn't it?
- You know what's odd? Every other number.
- You know what seems odd to me? Numbers that can't be divided by two.
- Wanna know something odd? Numbers not divisble by 2
- So a moth walks into a bar... ... which is odd because moths can fly.
Odd One Out Jokes
Here is a list of funny odd one out jokes and even better odd one out puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Yesterday I saw a police officer wearing a pilot's uniform I thought it was a bit odd.
Then I realized he was one of those "plane clothes cops." - One of my sisters got pregnant... Which is odd since I'm the only priest in the nunnery.
- Circumcisions are odd. Expensive ones are worth it, while... Cheap ones are ripoffs
- Who is the odd one out between.... Santa Claus, the Easter bunny, Bill Cosby and the tooth fairy? The Easter bunny, the rest only come when you are sleeping.
- A mathematician stared at a number line It started at one and then skipped every second number. He thought to himself "This is odd."
- What's the odd one out? A. Flour
B. Yeast
C. Royalty
D. Meat
D. Meat because it's usually not in bread. - Mr. T had a rare form of cancerous lymphoma that affected T-cells. Do you know what the odds are on that?! One in 26.
- One round of Russian roulette gives you better-than-even odds of surviving, but consequences of not surviving is.... Mind Blowing!
- I must be an odd one Because I can't even
- Anybody want to bet me that next year is going to be worse than this one? I'm offering odds of 20 2 1.
Odd Numbers Jokes
Here is a list of funny odd numbers jokes and even better odd numbers puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why can't two even numbers be together? The odds are against them.
- Why do teens only hang in odd numbers Because they literally, can't even.
Update: corrected the spelling error. Thanks for the feedback. - Why do popular teenage girls travel in odd numbers? Because they can't even.
- I saw an upside down number 6, and I thought... 'That's odd'
- I was talking to a guy about favourite numbers... He said his was 7. What an odd fella
- I never trusted the numbers 1, 3, 5, 7, 9 and 11…. There's just something *odd* about them. But the numbers 2, 4, 6, 8, 10 and 12 are *even* worse than them.
- The even numbers said... The odds are against us.
- Odd numbers I can't even...
- I like even numbers because they are odd otherwise
- I'm in an army of even numbers It's a battle against the odds
Odd Number Jokes
Here is a list of funny odd number jokes and even better odd number puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- 2, 4, 6, 8, who do we appreciate? Well, from what I can tell, certainly not odd numbers.
- Did you know that the number 7 Is a prime example of and odd number.
- I know a person who can only use even numbers What are the odds?!
- My son said something is wrong with the number five... I said " You are right, I did notice it acting odd lately.."
- What are the odds I could find the sum of numbers from 1-100? I'd say it's fifty fifty
- Just bought a bunch of dice but they only have odd numbers I literally can't even
- Did you hear about the guy who could only count using odd numbers? He literally couldn't even.
- What number has both even and odd properties? Seven, because it is both even and odd.
- What did number 2 say to number 1? you're an odd fellow
- What do odd numbers and reality TV stars in common? They literally can't even
Heartwarming Odd Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about odd you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean eerie jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make odd pranks.
Today my son threw a quarter in the well at the mall and said "I wish my dad was dead." And because of his attitide we went home without buying anything.
When we got to our house we saw an ambulance and the coroner at Jim's house, apparently he had a freak heart attack about thirty minutes before hand, it was odd because he was a personal trainer and in great shape, my wife seemed real upset by his passing. Though it was strange because I've never even seen them speak to eachother.
My grandfather's favorite joke.
Where do you find a dog with no legs?
Right where ya left it.
[My grandfather suffers from dementia and for some odd reason he remembers this joke and continues to tell it.]
I always take 40 or 50 lighters with me in a bag...
Not because I'll need them, but you can always use a lighter bag when hiking.
And I make sure it's not an odd number so that way it's even lighter.
I came home with a salamander on my shoulder and my son, all excited, shouted, "What's his name!?
Smiling, I replied, Tiny!"
My kid laughed and asked, What an odd name, why do you call him Tiny?
I explained, Because...he's my newt!"
There once was a boy named "Odd."
People made fun of him because of his name, so he decided to keep his gravestone blank when he died.
Now when people pass by the burial site, they point and say, "That's odd."
A man walks into a bar with a newt on his shoulder...
The bartender says "What a strange pet, what's his name?"
"Tiny." the man replies.
"What an odd name, why do you call him tiny?"
"Because he's my newt."
Body Pain
A brunette goes to the doctor, and says, Doctor I'm hurting all over my body.
That's odd , replied the doctor, Show me what you mean
So the girl takes her finger and pokes her elbow, and screams in pain. She touches her knee and cries in agony and so on.
The doctor says, You're not a natural brunette are you?
No I'm a blonde , she replies.
I thought so…. your finger is broken. , replies the doctor.
That pig is a hero.
One day two farmers are chatting and farmer 1 notices that farmer 2 has an odd pig.
Farmer 1: "hey why does that pig over there only got three legs?"
Farmer 2: "oh that pig, he's a hero. bout a month ago there was a fire at my house and that pig came in, and pulled my whole family out of the house while we were sleeping."
Farmer 1: "oh, so it lost the leg in the fire?"
Farmer 2: "no, a pig like that you don't eat all at once."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I handed my wife some paracetamol.
I handed my wife some paracetamol (i.e Tylenol), to which she gave me an odd look. She asked me "why would I want these?"
"Do you not have a headache?"
"No" she responded.
"Not feeling unwell at all?"
"No, I am feeling perfectly fine".
"That's great, we can have s**... this evening then".
Thought I'd share a favorite on my cake day
Gandhi used to walk barefoot on most days, neglecting modern footwear, and eventually grew a strong set of callouses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather weak and with his odd diet, suffered from very, very bad breath. To others he smelled atrocious, this super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
A nun is walking to church.
As she passes her local store, the shopkeeper says, "Wake up on the wrong side of the bed today, Sister?"
She finds it odd, but keeps walking. On her walk, three more people pass her and say, "Wake up on the wrong side of the bed today, Sister?"
Still baffled as she gets to the church, she walks to another nun at the pulpit and asks, "Why does everyone keep asking me if I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today?!"
The other nun looks down and says, "You're wearing the priest's shoes"
A young priest asked his bishop, May I smoke while praying? ...
The answer was an emphatic No!
Later, when he sees an older priest puffing on a cigarette while praying, the younger priest scolded him, You shouldn't be smoking while praying! I asked the bishop, and he said I couldn't do it!
That's odd, the old priest replied. I asked the bishop if I could pray while I'm smoking, and he told me that it was okay to pray at any time!
The year is 2540, a student notices something odd about his history book
How come these textbooks skip the years 1990 through 1999? He asks
The teacher puts down his marker, lowers his head and sighs.
Because... he lifts his head, a single tear rolls down his cheek, ...only 90's kids remember the 90's
A teacher asked her class to use "definitely" in a sentence.
"The sky is definitely blue," said one girl.
"Nice try but the sky can be black or purple or even orange," replied the teacher.
"The grass is definitely green," said a little boy.
"Well... The grass can be brown too."
Little Johnny raised his hand.
"Yes Johnny?"
"Are farts solid?" asked little Johnny.
Finding this an odd question she was slightly shocked, but answered anyway, "No Johnny."
"Well I definitely pooped my pants."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I saw a millennial chick at the supermarket and thought she looked odd.
Then I realised she can't even.
There was a man once who was named "Odd"
He hated his name because he was bullied due to his name in School. His whole life he had to endure people making fun out of him. When he was old and on his death bed, he told his children that his headstone should not have his name and should be blank. After he died, his children fulfilled his wish and put up a blank headstone.
Later when people were passing by his grave, they would look at his blank headstone and say - "Hmmm. Thats Odd".
Snow wife.
One winter morning while listening to the radio, Bob and his wife hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today.
You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Bob's wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 6-8 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Bob's wife goes out and moves her car again.
The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park..." then the electric power goes out.
Bob's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through?"
With the love and understanding in his voice like all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Bob says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"
i was in Jerusalem for a holiday
Needing my cuppa of java i wandered into a cafe and was served by a male barista. I found it odd that there were no female Baristas so i made it a point to keep a lookout for them across the holy land.
From Starbucks to coffee club, from hipster cafes to neighborhood coffeehouses, not a female barista could be found.
Perplexed by this, i finally asked the Jewish barista at the starbucks at the airport when i was about to leave. He thought about it for a moment, shrugged his shoulders and said simply:
Hebrews.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Odd f**......
A guy is just coming out of the store when he sees an unusual f**... procession moving down the road. In front is a black hearse, which is followed at a respectable distance of about 30 feet by another, slow moving hearse. Behind the two walks a man with a dog. And some twenty feet behind him is a line of 100 more men, walking just as slowly.
His curiosity gets the better of him and he approaches the man with the dog as they pass, falling into step beside him.
"This may not be the best time..." he begins "but I've never seen a f**... like this, so I need to ask what's going on. Who's in the first hearse?"
"My wife" says the man with the dog, mournfully. "She yelled at me, so Rover attacked and killed her." As if it feels guilty, the dog lowers its head and tail at the mention of his name.
"Oh.. oh my. I'm so sorry for your loss." Says the second guy. He walks alongside in respectful silence for a while before, once more, curiosity gets the better of him. "So whose in the second hearse?"
"My mother-in-law." comes the reply. "She tried to help my wife, so Rover killed her too."
"Oh my god, that's awful!" says the other guy, and walks alongside in respectful silence for a moment more. Eventually, he looks up and says "I don't suppose I could borrow your dog, could I?"
"Get in line." answers the guy.
Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Since seven was a child, he has always been a prime number. He excelled at everything he did, but he was kind of odd. Seven was very vengeful and quick to anger. Even though he was popular and well praised, he couldn't stand the sight of six, who was well rounded and has a good circle of tight friends.
When prom came, seven was alone and bitter. Of all his achievements, not one helped him land a date. Then six came in with his +1. Filled to the brim with jealousy, seven spread rumors that 6 and 9 were performing unspeakable acts. Six was alone again.
While walking to class, six saw seven with six's former +1 and averted his eyes. As they passed by eachother, seven whispered into six's ear "now, we're even".
Mahatma Gandhi...
...walked barefoot a lot, which probably produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. I've heard he also ate very little, which could have made him rather frail. The odd diet he kept leads me to believe he suffered from bad breath. I suppose you could have called him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
So aliens from Mars comes down to Earth...
...And they're friendly! The leaders of the world and the aliens plan a huge televised event where the leaders can ask questions on whatever they want.
During this event, the pope is up to talk to the aliens.
"I know this question may sound odd to you gentlemen," the pope starts to ask, "but I was wondering if you and your kind knew about Jesus Christ?"
"Jesus Christ?!?" the alien leader exclaims, "how do we not! He swings by our planet every two years or so. Awesome guy!"
Now this obviously starts a huge debate within the UN, as this information now has implications to everything they knew. The pope, however, is not exactly a happy person as his brain is on other information.
"EVERY TWO YEARS OR SO?!?" The pope exclaims, "We've still been waiting for his SECOND coming!"
Trying to calm down the pope, the aliens say "Well maybe he didn't like your chocolate."
The pope, upon hearing this news, takes a few moments to calm down. When he finally regains his composure, he states calmly, "Forgive me, but what does chocolate have anything to do with this?"
The aliens respond, "Well when he was on our planet, we would give him huge boxes of chocolates. Why, what did you guys do when he was here?"
Two Scottish nuns
Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, "I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs."
"Odd," her companion replied, "But if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, the mother superior pointed to a hot dog vendor and they both walked towards it. "Two dogs, please," said one.
The vendor was only too pleased to oblige and he wrapped both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurried over to a bench and began to unwrap their 'dogs'.
The mother superior was first to open hers, stared at it for a moment, then leaned over to the other nun and whispered cautiously, "What part did you get?"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two out-of-work Mexicans knock on a rich guy's door - looking for odd jobs
The rich guy feels for them, so he says, "I'll give you 100 bucks to go out back and paint my porch."
The Mexicans can't believe their luck - and agree. The rich guy gives them a few gallons of paint and some brushes.
About an hour later, they knock on the door. The guy answers, and the Mexicans tell him they are done. He says, "I can't believe you're done so fast. That should have taken at least 5 hours."
One of the Mexicans says, "We are done, Senor. But I have to tell you - that wasn't no porch. That was a Mercedes."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do sorority girls always travel in odd numbers?
Because they can't even.
A black Jewish guy
A black Jew runs up to his father and asks his father if he is more Jewish or more black. The father asks his son why he just asked this odd question, the son says "there is a boy at school selling his old bike for $50 and I am wondering if I should haggle it down to $40 or just steal it."
A blonde was going door to door...
She was looking to do odd jobs and chores to make some extra money. She knocks on a door, a guy answers and she asks if he has any chores he needs done. He said "sure I need my porch painted. I'll give you $100 if you do a good job". He shows her where the paint and brushes are and she says she'll make it look great. 30 minutes later, she knocks on his door and says "I'm done" and he replies "already? I thought it would take hours". She assured him she was finished and then said "by the way, that's a Ferrari, not a porch".
7, 11 and 13 walk into a bar
7 turns to 11 and 13 and says, "This is a prime example of how odd we are!"
Year 2019
So far, 2019 seems odd.
Like every other year.
Odd how you can only send mail during the day.
They are called post office hours, after all.
Ghandi
Mahatma Gandhi lived a strange life
Because of his odd diet, he was plagued by a constant case of bad breath. This diet also left him rather thin and frail.
Because he didn't wear shoes, and he walked everywhere, he developed an impressively thick set of calluses on the soles of his feet.
All-in-all, he was a super-callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Blonde and the pervert.
Who's really annoyed because a pervert keeps peeping through the keyhole while shes in the bathroom. One day she has a brilliant idea though. So the next day the pervert sees the blonde going to the bathroom, as the pervert approaches the bathroom he notices something odd.... the door isn't there anymore and he can see the blonde completely n**... changing her clothes. The blonde laughs at the pervert and says "Can't peep through the keyhole anymore!"
I have an odd friend who gets off to the dictionary.
It's weird but he's come to terms with it.
The Chinese recently made a scientific discovery.
They discovered a louse so small that it lives on the back of the common housefly.
It's a remarkable discovery, but it's gone completely unnoticed because nobody thinks it odd that the Chinese are raving about their fly lice.
A meathead is counting loudly in the gym as he does bench press...
1! 3! 5! 7! 9!
Another meathead:
Do you even lift bro
Meathead: Nah I only odd lift bro
I've been getting some odd pop up ads recently:
Hot older men in your area want to know if you've been messing with the thermostat
A motorist stopped at a country ford and asked an Irishman sitting nearby how deep the water was. "A couple of inches." replied the Irishman. So the motorist drove into the ford and his car promptly disappeared beneath the surface in a cauldron of bubbles.
"That's odd" thought the Irishman. "The water only goes halfway up on them ducks."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Which one is the odd one out; monopoly, r**..., i**...?
r**.... It's not a family game.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Son: Dad what is 69?
Dad: Hmmm... well son, it is a position where a man and a woman pleasure each other o**... at the same time.
Son: So. What shall I write? Odd or even?
Dad:....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Feminists need to learn spelling
So yesterday, I was walking down the street when a girl claiming to be a feminist handed me this flyer. It said, "PUT A WOMEN IN THE WHITE HOUSE".
I looked up at her confused and walked away.
That was an odd way to spell kitchen...
Two hadrons are walking down the street
Baryon starts crying all of a sudden. His friend Meson turns and asks, what's wrong Baryon?
Baryon sobs, Everybody says I'm odd.
Meson tries his best to cheer him up. Keep your head up buddy, we all have our quarks!
My wife said I added too much lime juice to my homemade salsa and it made her taco taste funny
The odd acidity.
Teacher : Why did you only fill in all the odd questions in the exam?
Blonde : Because i can't even
An actor arrived for his rehearsal at the theatre.
As he looked around, an incredible feeling of deja vu swept over him.
Suddenly he realised the set seemed like a weird adaption of his apartment, the actress looked like an odd version of his wife, and the director sounded like an eerie rendition of his dad.
"Uncanny!" He thought. "I've arrived at a strange stage of my life".
My wife just left me because of my gambling addiction...
I wonder what the odd are for me winning her back.
Today I ate 7 Burgers
That's odd.
A 90 year old woman is getting married for the fourth time.
A news crew is there to document the story. The reporter asks the woman about her odd marital past. "Let me get this right," he says. "Your first husband was a banker. Your second husband was a clown. Your third husband was a doctor, and you're about to marry a mortician. Why the menagerie of different men?" She smirked and said "It was one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
True story told by a friend: My nephew was gay and everyone knew it but he was slow coming out of the closet. One day, home from college, he was having breakfast and blurted out, "Mom - I'm gay."
She replied, "Does this mean that you sometimes put other men's p**... in your mouth?" Her son thought that this was an odd response but answered, "Yes." "Then I never want you to complain about my cooking again." (It was her hilarious way of saying that his orientation is not an issue for her.)
Did you know that Brian May, the guitarist from British rockband Queen, has a PhD on Astrophysics?
Yeah, he started his schooling before Queen formed, and achieved his PhD in 2007. One of his dissertations is heavily criticized by the science community though, and it's because he has an odd theory of what causes the Earth's rotation.
You see, he thinks that 'Fat Bottomed Girls make the Rockin World go round.'
I needed some change in my life
So I decided to start a coin collection. I know it seems odd but it makes cents to me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Women are like numbers ...
* Some are Rational, but infinitely more are Irrational.
* The Real ones might be Proper or Improper, but only the Imaginary ones are ever Pure.
* Some are Natural, the rest are Negative, or just not there.
* Some are Prime, but those are hard to find.
* Every other one is just plain Odd.
Orse?
"Dad, I've always found my brother's name a bit odd. How did you come up with the name 'Orse'?"
"Well, you see, your Mom really loves roses, but we wanted to find a more original name, so we picked an anagram instead: Orse"
"Oh, that's very cool! Thanks, Dad!"
"You're welcome, Lana"
I need your best jokes about mammals. Can you guys help me out?
I need a good, clean, short joke about a mammal. I know this is an odd request, but maybe some of you will enjoy the challenge, or maybe you have some good ones you're just waiting to share. Let me have em.
All I want to say about 2017...
...is that it was an odd year.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife has started doing this really odd thing during s**....
She stays awake.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man goes to h**......
A man dies and goes to h**.... There he meets the devil, who is going to show him to the place he will be for all eternity.
The man is escorted into an ordinary room, with a bunch of people standing around drinking coffee.
The only odd thing is everyone in the room is knee deep in s**....
"Well...here we are" says the devil
The man looks around and thinks to himself that his eternal place in h**... could be a whole lot worse.
As the devil walks out he says, "Alright, coffee break is over, back on your heads."
Dating on tinder.
the odds are good but the goods are odd
A burglar breaks into a joint
While going through the owner's belongings a shrill voices goes:
"Heavenly Father is watching you! Heavenly Father is watching you!"
Slightly irritated, the burglar switches on the light and sees a parrot in the corner, repeating its line:
"Heavenly Father is watching you! Heavenly Father is watching you!"
Burglar: "Hahaha! Look at you, what's your name?"
Parrot: "Jared Leto"
Burglar: "That's an odd name for a parrot. Who would name their parrot 'Jared-Leto'?
Parrot: "The same person who would name his rottweiler 'Heavenly Father'!
*First Cake day joke!
