Octopus Up Jokes
123 octopus up jokes and hilarious octopus up puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about octopus up that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Octopus Up Short Jokes
Short octopus up jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The octopus up humour may include short octopus jokes also.
- What do you get if you cross a cow with an octopus? An immediate cessation of funding and a stern rebuke from the ethics committee
- What do you get when you cross a duck with an octopus? Fired and blacklisted from the genetics industry.
- What did the octopus say when he found out his wife had 10 tentacles? You've got to be squidding me!
- How many times do you have to tickle an octopus to make it laugh? Ten tickles.
Of course there are eight of them, the first two are test tickles. - Who would win a fight between an octopus and a shark? The octopus because it is well armed.
- Unexpected She: Why is your shirt smudged with ink blots?
He: I refilled a printer cartridge at work today.
Octopus under their bed: *whispers* Tell her about us, you chicken. - How many tickles does it take to make a octopus laugh? Ten-tickles
I'll show my self out... - What's the difference between a man and an octopus? Octopus: eight tentacles, each its own neural structure that offloads work from the brain
Human Male: one tentacle which controls brain - It's a good thing that squidward doesn't have two more tentacles... Because then it would be octward.
- If an octopus is called an octopus because of its eight limbs, what would you call an octopus with only seven limbs? An amputee.
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Octopus Up One Liners
Which octopus up one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with octopus up? I can suggest the ones about octopus laugh and octopuses tentacles.
- What do you call two octopuses that look exactly the same? Itenticle.
- How many tickles does it take to make an octopus ink Tentickles
- How did the octopus go to the war? Well armed...
- What do you call an octopus that fights sharks? An octobrave.
- What's the difference between an octopus and a squid? A squid has TEN-TICKLES!
- Why did the knight wear an octopus jacket? It was his coat of arms
- What does the boss octopus say before work? Let's get kraken.
- What happens when you try and breed a cow with an octopus? You lose your funding.
- what is an cannibal octopus' favorite salad octopus salad. kind of obvious.
- An octopus was killed in a shootout last week Police say he was heavily armed
- What does an octopus take with it when it goes fishing? Ten tackles
- What has four legs but can't walk? 7yo daughter response: half an octopus?
- What do you call 8 men who refuse to do a single dare? An octopus
- What do you call a mother f♡
Oedipus - Why are you baking octopus? So I can get octopi.
Octopus Up Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about octopus up you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean parrot up jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make octopus up pranks.
Where do you find a down-and-out octopus?
On squid row.
What's wet and wiggly and says how do you do sixteen times?
Two octopuses shaking hands.
What do humans and octopuses have in common?
Two sets of forearms
What do you get when you cross a Mexican with an octopus?
I don't know, but it sure can pick strawberries.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
I want to hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand.....
What do you call a lesbian octopus?
A lickalotopuss.
How much tickles do it take for an octopus to laugh?
Ten tickles.....
I'll go back to studying now
Why does an octopus have 8 tentacles instead of 6?
Because even god thinks "Sextapus" sounds ridiculous.
What happened to the octopus in the football game?
He had tentackles.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is it so easy to fool an octopus?
They're all suckers.
Talented Octopus
A man walks into a bar with and octopus under his arms. He then stands up on the bar and shouts for everyone inside to hear. "I will bet anyone here 200 dollars that this octopus can play any instrument you give it". Everyone is a buzz and the bartender hands him a guitar that was hanging on the wall. The Octopus takes the guitar and strums on it with great enthusiasm and plays a beautiful arrangement. Another man pulls a harmonica out of his pocket and again, the octopus plays it superbly. A jazz band hands him all of there instruments and the octopus plays them all with amazing skill. Then, a Scottish man wearing a kilt comes up to the octopus and hands it his bagpipes. The octopus, looks at it confusingly then begins to fumble with the instrument. "Ay, you can't play er, can ye" The Scotsman says with a thick accent. The octopus responds "Play her? I'm going to screw her as soon as I get these pajamas off"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
V8
What kind of s**... transmitted disease can you get from an octopus?
How many times should you tickle an octopus?
Tentacles.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What doesn't belong in this group, A lobster, an octopus, a crab, or a chinese man under a bus?
The octopus, obviously, the three others are crustaceans.
What did the boy octopus say to the girl octopus?
Can I hold your hand hand hand hand?
The Whale was uneasy.
"I'm afraid Jonah is not satisfied with his accommodations" said the whale.
"What gave you that idea?" queried the octopus.
"Oh, I have inside information" said the whale.
What did the octopus make for desert?
...Octopie
What's the plural of compass?
This one's best if you say it out loud.
What's the plural of octopus?
Octopi.
What's the plural of compass?
Cumpie.
Why didn't the octopus join the army?
Because he was already too army...
Cephalopod humour
How much does it cost to treat an ill octopus?
Six Quid....
What do you call an area where an Octopus is sitting?
Octopied
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
h**... and Goebbels go out to lunch.
h**... and Goebbels go out to lunch after watching the Japanese ambassador eat an entire octopus. Goebbels says to h**... "What should we eat"? h**... says "definitely not sea food".
Why couldn't the octopus take off her bra?
It had suction cups.
What do you call an octopus that's missing one tentacle?
Octopus Prime.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear about what happened when the anime studio tried to make a s**...-ed video?
Kids kept getting confused about why the octopus was showing up.
A man walks out of a bar...
He realizes he must be drunk after having seen an Irishman, Englishman and a Scotsman drinking together, A horse, 2 chemists (one dead), a piano player, a dog, a monkey, an octopus, 007, an ostrich as well as a befuddled bartender tending to countless men walking into the bar...
A Mexican went into a Japanese restaurant and ordered but only to be disappointed when he was served with a live Octopus slammed in his plate.
He asked for a taco.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call the offspring of a black man and an octopus?
I don't know but it sure can pick a lot of cotton.
Why did the octopus blush?
He saw the bottom of the ocean
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Know what's the hardest thing about having s**... with a Japanese girl?
Trying to find an octopus at 11PM.
Who is the best underwater Transformer?
Octopus Prime!
A new class of octopus has been discovered that cooks it's food.
It's the only Chefalopod found so far.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the octopus say to the sea urchin after he f**...?
Sorry I'm so inky!
What do you call an octopus with no tentacles?
Bob
Courtesy of my dad last night at dinner 😂
What did the octopus say to his girlfriend when he proposed?
Can I have your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand in marriage?
What kind of computer problems do octopuses(octopi) have?
Tentacle difficulties.
7 Y.O. Daughter and I just made this up together. I realize it might already exist out there in this big world, but we just had to share.
Why are octopuses so dangerous?
They're heavily armed.
What is an octopus's favorite band?
Ink Floyd
I'm so sorry
What do you call an octopus that wears footwear?
A Socktopus
What do you call a girl with 16 legs?
An octopus.
If octopuses have twins.
Does that make them "i-tentical"
What did the octopus say when the fisherman cut off its tenticles?
See ya later suckers!
What did the octopus need to win the football match?
Ten tackles.
Everyone knows it takes ten tickles to make an Octopus laugh, but what do you call it when you're just trying out tickling?
Test tickles
What do you call a creature with the head of a seahorse, body of a lobster, the hind legs of an octopus, the front legs of a penguin, and claws?
A crabomination
What do you call a group of 8 cats?
Octopus
What did one octopus say to the other?
Let's hold hands and hands and hands and hands and hands and hands and hands and hands
What do you get when you cross a cow, an octopus, and a man?
a reprimand from the ethics commissioner.
Son: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?
Me: I don't know; how many?
Son: Ten tickles.
Me: Yeah, but only the male octopus is ticklish.
Son: Huh?
Me: Yeah, the females are not ticklish at all; just the males. You know how you can tell if an octopus is a male octopus?
Son: No; how?
Me: Test tickles.
Son: ...
Son: ...that's inappropriate.
Did you know that the octopus is the only sea creature with tentacles?
Just squidding!
What do you get when you cross an elephant and an octopus?
A visit from the ehtics committee and immediate withdrawal of your funds.
What do you call an octopus without any legs
An octopus cause they have tentacles not legs
What did the cheerful octopus say when he lost three of his tentacles in a terrible accident?
High five!
What did the octopus say to his girlfriend at the Beatles concert?
I wanna hold your hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand, hand...
Courtesy of my dad when I was 5.
Octopus 1: "What should I do if I can't swim?"
Octopus 2: "Use ink if you can't float"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you make an octopus sing an octave higher?
Kick him in the tentacles.
What do you get when you cross a baby with an octopus?
An angry letter from the ethics committee and immediate cessation of all funding.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A lion and a tiger make a liger, a whale and dolphin a wolphin, a squid and octopus a scquoctopus. What would a five-year old and a horse be?
Definitely i**....
Why does no one steal an octopus?
Because they're all-armed
How do you make an octopus laugh?
With ten tickles!
But did you know that only Male octopus laugh?
It was a short study but scientists figured it out. .
With test tickles
What's the formula for octopus circumference?
octopi*r2
Of course it should really be octopods*r2
What do medevial octopus nobility wear?
A Coat of arms
Why you shouldn't mess with an octopus?
It's fully armed
I had to break up with my octopus girlfriend...
She was too clingy
I heard on the news that the police were looking for a runaway octopus
They said he was armed and dangerous
What do you call it when an octopus speaks?
Awkward
Why does an octopus make a great drill sergeant?
Because it's arm-y.
So all the animals gathered and having a party,
Everybody is drinking and talking and having a good time,
suddenly a chameleon get to the middle of the room, say "check this out" and start changing color of his skin for a minute straight.
Once he done he say "Lets see any of you do the same".
Suddenly octopus appear from the crowd and says:
hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer, hold my beer.
How did the octopus tickle a man ten times?
With it's tentacles.