October Jokes
79 october jokes and hilarious october puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about october that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of October jokes. From ghosts and goblins to pumpkins and witches, we've got all the Halloween hilarity you need to get through the spooky season. So take a break from the candy-coated chaos and enjoy some of our favorite October jokes.
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Funniest October Short Jokes
Short october jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The october humour may include short fall jokes also.
- I hate that September, October, November, and December are somehow the 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th months of the calendar year Whoever messed that up ought to be stabbed
- Totally sick of idiots letting firework off early, it's still October for goodness sake!!! Dog is going mad and keeps knocking the Christmas tree over!
- Overheard in line for a movie... Theater employee: "That's an R-rated movie. When's your birthday?"
Teenage boy: "October 12th."
Employee: "What year?"
Boy: "Every year." - An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage. The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked:
Where were you on the night of October to April? - How many seconds are there in one year? 12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, august 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.
- It's finally October, and you know what that means! Americans might actually start wearing masks.
- A man from northern Alaska is on trial… The prosecutor asks in a menacing tone, Where were you in the night from October to April?
- I always carry a stone with me that I use to throw at people who play Christmas music in October. I call it my Jingle Bell Rock.
- On October 31st, we will have a full moon, and the 7th planet from the sun will be its brightest... So when someone sees the moon that day, they will likely see Uranus too...
- This is getting ridiculous.. Only two days into October and now even COVID is pumpkin spiced.
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October One Liners
Which october one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with october? I can suggest the ones about thanksgiving and leaves.
- In the movie 'The Hunt for Red October' ... the entire story is the sub-plot.
- What was Humpty Dumpty's favorite month? October... He had a great fall.
- October 10th was such a great day 10/10
- Is your birthday the 10th of October? Because you look like a 10/10!
- Me: I have cheated once Wife: me too
Me: first april...
Wife: 8th october - How do you get onlyfans for free after October? Use Instagram
- October tenth is a day that I rate... 10/10
- Oh, Its October Guess we should wake up that guy from green day then
- Somebody needs to wake up Green Day It's October 1st
- The tenth of October is the only day of the year that I would recommend 10/10
- A soldier comes up and asks me what today's date is. I say "October fourth". He says 10-4
- October is Octover November is Nowvember.
December is Desoonber. - October is Eczema Awareness Month So I'm raising money by selling scratch cards.
- What is a clinical trial done in October called? a trick or treatment.
- October 10, International Cliché Day! Talk in clichés until the cows come home!
October 31st Jokes
Here is a list of funny october 31st jokes and even better october 31st puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Me and my crush are getting married I am getting married on 31st august and she is on 31st october :(
- What do burn victims celebrate on October 31st? Aloe-ween
- Apparently I was supposed to wait until October 31st to dress up like a ghost. Guess I spook too soon.
- What's worse than a hollow chocolate bunny on Easter? A Halloweenie on October 31st.
- Why couldn't the man get his wife pregnant on October 31st? Because he had a hallow-w**....
October 10th Jokes
Here is a list of funny october 10th jokes and even better october 10th puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Me: You're today's date She: What?
Me: You're a solid 11/11
She: What kind of a rating scale is out of 11?
Me: I... I had cold feet on 10th October
October Birthday Jokes
Here is a list of funny october birthday jokes and even better october birthday puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Chuck Norris's Birthday is October 32th.
October 1st Jokes
Here is a list of funny october 1st jokes and even better october 1st puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Welp it's October 1st... Someone better wake up Greenday.
Gather Around for Heartwarming October Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What funny jokes about october you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean weather jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make october pranks.
Canadian visits friend in the states
Canadian: "How is it 30 degrees here in October?"
Friend: "The real question is, how is it 30 degrees THERE in October?"
Not sure what you have heard, but it actually only rains twice a year in Seattle.
October through May, then June through September.
I found a ghost passed out on my stairs last night.
He must have been really into the boos!
Happy October!
What was the s**... nurse looking for in October?
A Hallowiener.
Guys I guess October is...
Octover
A man meets a Native American with flawless memory...
When he meets this Native American Chief he notices he is older than most.
He asks the Chief many questions, and the Chief replies flawlessly to each one.
Then he thinks of a random date and asks the Chief, "What did you eat on October 18, 1987?" The Chief replies "Eggs".
He leaves the Chief and goes home. A year later he meets the Chief again. Feeling respectful he approaches the Chief, and says "How" and the Chief says, "Scrambled!"
A German Dad Joke
So, because St. Patrick's Day is tomorrow I asked my dad (who is German) if Germans have any day like St. Patrick's Day. His said, "Yes, it's called October."
Apparently Burger King will be giving away free whoppers on October 13th to Special Olympians
I'd be downs for that
I can prove global warming is real.
The Chicago Cubs are still playing its October already.
I can't trust my heart or my brain to tell me who the next President will be
But I can trust my Vegas b**... and will be talking to him in October
The Hunt for Red October (1990) is an amazing movie. I especially liked the concept of the Nautilus' propulsion system.
Whoops, wrong sub.
I always forget that holiday that comes at the end of October. Then the doorbell rings...
Witch reminds me.
With it being October, I thought I'd tell y'all about the time I had s**... in a cornmaze
It was a-maizeing.
September: I had one of the worst hurricane months on record and Hugh Hefner died.
October: Hold my beer
October is domestic a**... awareness month...
Time to make your significant other aware....
An American couple adopt a German infant...
He is fine physically, and he is content. But he hasn't started speaking. At two, three, even four years old, he is mute.
Then, one October, at five years old, his parents give him a hot chocolate.
Zis is a bit tepid, he complains.
Gunther, you can speak! Why have you never spoken before?
Up to now, everything had been satisfactory.
October is finally here...
Can somebody finally wake Billie joe Armstrong up? Sick of being reminded.
What do you get when you combine an octopus and a bear?
You get a Frenchman pronouncing October
What's orange and black and comes together in October to really terrify people?
Donald and Kanye
Last October I went to garden party in the evening. Upon arrival I received a very warm welcome from an Irish woman.
Her name was Patti O'Heter.
My little daughter came to me all excited, shrieking, Daddy! Daddy! Guess how old I'll be in October! Playing along, I laughed, Oh I don't know princess, why don't you tell me? She gave me a huge smile and held up four fingers...
It's now three hours later, the police are annoyed and she *still* won't say where she got them...
A little son asks his father what a communism is...
...and the father starts explaining:
"Well, son, once upon a time there was this man named Lenin, except his real name was Uljanov. He had a friend named Stalin, except he wasn't his friend and his name was Dzugashvili. They started the October revolution, except it wasn't a revolution, it was a coup, and it wasn't in october, it was in november..."
"Jesus, dad, what a mess!" proclaims the son.
"Son, now you understand communism!"
Did you guys know that according to scientists, in October the mitochondria turns into the frightochondria
And becomes the haunted house of the cell
halloween joke
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Ah, October! Almost time for Halloween. This season reminds me of how I met my wife. I went to a costume party, and saw her across the room. Standing there all thin and tall and gorgeous next to her fat friend. They'd come to the party together dressed as the number ten," he tells the bartender. "That's when I knew, she was the one."
Last October, I was walking through the cemetery.
I came across a trash can where someone had thrown out their Kraft Halloween monster themed mac and cheese...
It was the mac.
It was the monster mac.
the monster mac
was in the graveyard trash.
Thanks mom for this more obscure one
I was on a date with a woman.
"When's your birthday?" I asked.
'13th of March."
"When's your mother's birthday?" I asked.
"24th of December."
"When's your father's birthday?" I asked.
"1st of October."
"Excellent," I replied. "So, when do you have s**... with someone for the first time?"
"Usually after four dates," she said.
"Ok, when's Valentine's Day?" I asked.
"Um...14th of February."
I said, "Perfect. Back to your place or mine?"
Did you know the original Gregorian calendar had different months?
January = Greg
February = Ian
March = Greg
April = Ian
May = Ian
June = Greg
July = Ian
August = Greg
September = Greg
October = Ian
November = Greg
December = Ian
A Russian couple finally gets to the front of the line to buy a car. "Your car is approved, it will here on October 5th, 2027." "Morning or afternoon?" asked the couple. "What difference does that make, it is five years from now."
"The plumber is coming in the morning."
50 Jokes for 50 US States Part II
# Alaska
An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage. The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked, 'Where were you on the night of October to April?'
Disclaimer: This is not my joke. And I sure hope that its not a repost from any of the subs. I am sure that there will be numerous variations out there. So just wanted to let you know that I read it on Reader's Digest Issue 1/09, finding it funny, I wanted to share with the jokers here.
I watched The Hunt for Red October the other night. The characters were good…
…and I really liked the subplots