The Best 51 October Jokes

Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of October jokes. From ghosts and goblins to pumpkins and witches, we've got all the Halloween hilarity you need to get through the spooky season. So take a break from the candy-coated chaos and enjoy some of our favorite October jokes.

Top 10 Funniest October Jokes and Puns

Canadian visits friend in the states

Canadian: "How is it 30 degrees here in October?"

Friend: "The real question is, how is it 30 degrees THERE in October?"

Why couldn't the man get his wife pregnant on October 31st?

Because he had a hallow-weenie.

Not sure what you have heard, but it actually only rains twice a year in Seattle.

October through May, then June through September.

I found a ghost passed out on my stairs last night.

He must have been really into the boos!

Happy October!

jokes about october

What was the slutty nurse looking for in October?

A Hallowiener.


Guys I guess October is...

Octover

A man meets a Native American with flawless memory...

When he meets this Native American Chief he notices he is older than most.
He asks the Chief many questions, and the Chief replies flawlessly to each one.

Then he thinks of a random date and asks the Chief, "What did you eat on October 18, 1987?" The Chief replies "Eggs".

He leaves the Chief and goes home. A year later he meets the Chief again. Feeling respectful he approaches the Chief, and says "How" and the Chief says, "Scrambled!"

October joke, A man meets a Native American with flawless memory...

A German Dad Joke

So, because St. Patrick's Day is tomorrow I asked my dad (who is German) if Germans have any day like St. Patrick's Day. His said, "Yes, it's called October."

Apparently Burger King will be giving away free whoppers on October 13th to Special Olympians

I'd be downs for that

Oh, Its October

Guess we should wake up that guy from green day then

The tenth of October is the only day of the year that I would recommend

10/10

You can explore october thanksgiving reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean october leaves dad jokes. There are also october puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I can prove global warming is real.

The Chicago Cubs are still playing its October already.

Is your birthday the 10th of October?

Because you look like a 10/10!

How many seconds are there in one year?

12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.

I can't trust my heart or my brain to tell me who the next President will be

But I can trust my Vegas bookie and will be talking to him in October

Me and my crush are getting married

I am getting married on 31st august and she is on 31st october :(

October joke, Me and my crush are getting married

October 10th was such a great day

10/10

Somebody needs to wake up Green Day

It's October 1st

October tenth is a day that I rate...

10/10


What was Humpty Dumpty's favorite month?

October... He had a great fall.

The Hunt for Red October (1990) is an amazing movie. I especially liked the concept of the Nautilus' propulsion system.

Whoops, wrong sub.

I always forget that holiday that comes at the end of October. Then the doorbell rings...

Witch reminds me.

A soldier comes up and asks me what today's date is. I say "October fourth". He says

10-4

With it being October, I thought I'd tell y'all about the time I had sex in a cornmaze

It was a-maizeing.

September: I had one of the worst hurricane months on record and Hugh Hefner died.

October: Hold my beer

October is domestic abuse awareness month...

Time to make your significant other aware....

October joke, October is domestic abuse awareness month...

Overheard in line for a movie...

Theater employee: "That's an R-rated movie. When's your birthday?"

Teenage boy: "October 12th."

Employee: "What year?"

Boy: "Every year."

An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage.

The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked:

Where were you on the night of October to April?

An American couple adopt a German infant...

He is fine physically, and he is content. But he hasn't started speaking. At two, three, even four years old, he is mute.

Then, one October, at five years old, his parents give him a hot chocolate.

Zis is a bit tepid, he complains.

Gunther, you can speak! Why have you never spoken before?

Up to now, everything had been satisfactory.


Me: I have cheated once

Wife: me too

Me: first april...

Wife: 8th october

October is finally here...

Can somebody finally wake Billie joe Armstrong up? Sick of being reminded.

What's orange and black and comes together in October to really terrify people?

Donald and Kanye

October is Eczema Awareness Month

So I'm raising money by selling scratch cards.

October is Octover

November is Nowvember.
December is Desoonber.


Last October I went to garden party in the evening. Upon arrival I received a very warm welcome from an Irish woman.

Her name was Patti O'Heter.

My little daughter came to me all excited, shrieking, Daddy! Daddy! Guess how old I'll be in October! Playing along, I laughed, Oh I don't know princess, why don't you tell me? She gave me a huge smile and held up four fingers...

It's now three hours later, the police are annoyed and she *still* won't say where she got them...

This is getting ridiculous..

Only two days into October and now even COVID is pumpkin spiced.

It's finally October, and you know what that means!

Americans might actually start wearing masks.

A little son asks his father what a communism is...

...and the father starts explaining:

"Well, son, once upon a time there was this man named Lenin, except his real name was Uljanov. He had a friend named Stalin, except he wasn't his friend and his name was Dzugashvili. They started the October revolution, except it wasn't a revolution, it was a coup, and it wasn't in october, it was in november..."

"Jesus, dad, what a mess!" proclaims the son.

"Son, now you understand communism!"

On October 31st, we will have a full moon, and the 7th planet from the sun will be its brightest...

So when someone sees the moon that day, they will likely see Uranus too...

Totally sick of idiots letting fireworks off early, it's still October for goodness sake!!!

Dog is going mad and keeps knocking the Christmas tree over!

I always carry a stone with me that I use to throw at people who play Christmas music in October.

I call it my Jingle Bell Rock.

How do you get onlyfans for free after October?

Use Instagram

Did you guys know that according to scientists, in October the mitochondria turns into the frightochondria

And becomes the haunted house of the cell

halloween joke

A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Ah, October! Almost time for Halloween. This season reminds me of how I met my wife. I went to a costume party, and saw her across the room. Standing there all thin and tall and gorgeous next to her fat friend. They'd come to the party together dressed as the number ten," he tells the bartender. "That's when I knew, she was the one."

Last October, I was walking through the cemetery.

I came across a trash can where someone had thrown out their Kraft Halloween monster themed mac and cheese...

It was the mac.

It was the monster mac.

the monster mac

was in the graveyard trash.



Thanks mom for this more obscure one

I was on a date with a woman.

"When's your birthday?" I asked.

'13th of March."

"When's your mother's birthday?" I asked.

"24th of December."

"When's your father's birthday?" I asked.

"1st of October."

"Excellent," I replied. "So, when do you have sex with someone for the first time?"

"Usually after four dates," she said.

"Ok, when's Valentine's Day?" I asked.

"Um...14th of February."

I said, "Perfect. Back to your place or mine?"

A man from northern Alaska is on trial…

The prosecutor asks in a menacing tone, Where were you in the night from October to April?

Did you know the original Gregorian calendar had different months?

January = Greg

February = Ian

March = Greg

April = Ian

May = Ian

June = Greg

July = Ian

August = Greg

September = Greg

October = Ian

November = Greg

December = Ian

A Russian couple finally gets to the front of the line to buy a car. "Your car is approved, it will here on October 5th, 2027." "Morning or afternoon?" asked the couple. "What difference does that make, it is five years from now."

"The plumber is coming in the morning."

How many Seconds are in a year?

12!

January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the october autumn puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working october weather piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes