October Jokes

Following is our collection of feb humor and july one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include October puns for adults, dirty month jokes or clean january gags for kids.

There is an abundance of trumpkin jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 51 funniest jokes on october. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any tess witze you can hear about october.

The Best jokes about October

My little daughter came to me all excited, shrieking, Daddy! Daddy! Guess how old I'll be in October! Playing along, I laughed, Oh I don't know princess, why don't you tell me? She gave me a huge smile and held up four fingers...

It's now three hours later, the police are annoyed and she *still* won't say where she got them...

A man meets a Native American with flawless memory...

When he meets this Native American Chief he notices he is older than most.
He asks the Chief many questions, and the Chief replies flawlessly to each one.

Then he thinks of a random date and asks the Chief, "What did you eat on October 18, 1987?" The Chief replies "Eggs".

He leaves the Chief and goes home. A year later he meets the Chief again. Feeling respectful he approaches the Chief, and says "How" and the Chief says, "Scrambled!"

Overheard in line for a movie...

Theater employee: "That's an R-rated movie. When's your birthday?"

Teenage boy: "October 12th."

Employee: "What year?"

Boy: "Every year."

An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage.

The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked:

Where were you on the night of October to April?

It's finally October, and you know what that means!

Americans might actually start wearing masks.


How many seconds are there in one year?

12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.

What was Humpty Dumpty's favorite month?

October... He had a great fall.

October 10th was such a great day

10/10

Is your birthday the 10th of October?

Because you look like a 10/10!

This is getting ridiculous..

Only two days into October and now even COVID is pumpkin spiced.

That's my plan and I'm sticking to it.

This is the transcript of a radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a Collision.

Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States' Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that YOU change your course 15 degrees north, that's one five degrees north, or countermeasures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.


The US Navy

Transcript of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. This radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10-10-95.

Americans: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision."

Canadians: "Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision."

Americans: "This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course."

Canadians: "No, I say again, you divert YOUR course."

Americans: "THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT'S ONE-FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP."

Canadians: "This is a lighthouse. Your call."

An American couple adopt a German infant...

He is fine physically, and he is content. But he hasn't started speaking. At two, three, even four years old, he is mute.

Then, one October, at five years old, his parents give him a hot chocolate.

Zis is a bit tepid, he complains.

Gunther, you can speak! Why have you never spoken before?

Up to now, everything had been satisfactory.

Not sure what you have heard, but it actually only rains twice a year in Seattle.

October through May, then June through September.

Me: I have cheated once

Wife: me too

Me: first april...

Wife: 8th october

I found a ghost passed out on my stairs last night.

He must have been really into the boos!

Happy October!

October is domestic abuse awareness month...

Time to make your significant other aware....

October tenth is a day that I rate...

10/10

I can't trust my heart or my brain to tell me who the next President will be

But I can trust my Vegas bookie and will be talking to him in October


Somebody needs to wake up Green Day

It's October 1st

Canadian visits friend in the states

Canadian: "How is it 30 degrees here in October?"

Friend: "The real question is, how is it 30 degrees THERE in October?"

A German Dad Joke

So, because St. Patrick's Day is tomorrow I asked my dad (who is German) if Germans have any day like St. Patrick's Day. His said, "Yes, it's called October."

October is finally here...

Can somebody finally wake Billie joe Armstrong up? Sick of being reminded.

The tenth of October is the only day of the year that I would recommend

10/10

Oh, Its October

Guess we should wake up that guy from green day then

A soldier comes up and asks me what today's date is. I say "October fourth". He says

10-4

Last October I went to garden party in the evening. Upon arrival I received a very warm welcome from an Irish woman.

Her name was Patti O'Heter.

I always forget that holiday that comes at the end of October. Then the doorbell rings...

Witch reminds me.

With it being October, I thought I'd tell y'all about the time I had sex in a cornmaze

It was a-maizeing.

October is Octover

November is Nowvember.
December is Desoonber.

October is Eczema Awareness Month

So I'm raising money by selling scratch cards.

Why couldn't the man get his wife pregnant on October 31st?

Because he had a hallow-weenie.

The Hunt for Red October (1990) is an amazing movie. I especially liked the concept of the Nautilus' propulsion system.

Whoops, wrong sub.

Guys I guess October is...

Octover

Apparently Burger King will be giving away free whoppers on October 13th to Special Olympians

I'd be downs for that

October 10, International ClichΓ© Day!

Talk in clichΓ©s until the cows come home!

I can prove global warming is real.

The Chicago Cubs are still playing its October already.

September: I had one of the worst hurricane months on record and Hugh Hefner died.

October: Hold my beer

Spooky memes at the first week of October where dead.

And now that that they're back, they are UNDEAD.

Red Dead Redemption 2 releases on October 26

Experts predict that both unemployment and divorce rates will rise very soon.

Well... it's finally October.

Did someone remember to wake up Green Day?

October is domestic violence awareness month.

Time to go home and show her who's boss.

Welp it's October 1st...

Someone better wake up Greenday.

It is the 17th of October 2018. Marijuana was legalized in Canada.

A guy walks into a store and says to the clerk:
"I want a canadis"

A classmate was making repetitive screeching noises in class on October 31

I asked her what she was doing, and she said it was her verbal Halloween costume for the blind.

It happens earlier every year …

It's only October, and they're already putting up Christmas videos on PornHub.

October

You will know how much your niece's and nephew's will love you when you ask for candies from their bag and they pick the good one or the bad one.

What do burn victims celebrate on October 31st?

Aloe-ween

What's orange and black and comes together in October to really terrify people?

Donald and Kanye

I love October

I fall for it every year.

What is a clinical trial done in October called?

a trick or treatment.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes