Gather Around for Heartwarming October Jokes and Uplifting Humor
Canadian visits friend in the states
Canadian: "How is it 30 degrees here in October?"
Friend: "The real question is, how is it 30 degrees THERE in October?"
Why couldn't the man get his wife pregnant on October 31st?
Because he had a hallow-w**....
Not sure what you have heard, but it actually only rains twice a year in Seattle.
October through May, then June through September.
I found a ghost passed out on my stairs last night.
He must have been really into the boos!
Happy October!
What was the s**... nurse looking for in October?
A Hallowiener.
Guys I guess October is...
Octover
A man meets a Native American with flawless memory...
When he meets this Native American Chief he notices he is older than most.
He asks the Chief many questions, and the Chief replies flawlessly to each one.
Then he thinks of a random date and asks the Chief, "What did you eat on October 18, 1987?" The Chief replies "Eggs".
He leaves the Chief and goes home. A year later he meets the Chief again. Feeling respectful he approaches the Chief, and says "How" and the Chief says, "Scrambled!"
A German Dad Joke
So, because St. Patrick's Day is tomorrow I asked my dad (who is German) if Germans have any day like St. Patrick's Day. His said, "Yes, it's called October."
Apparently Burger King will be giving away free whoppers on October 13th to Special Olympians
I'd be downs for that
Oh, Its October
Guess we should wake up that guy from green day then
October 10, International Cliché Day!
Talk in clichés until the cows come home!
You can explore october thanksgiving reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean october leaves dad jokes. There are also october puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
The tenth of October is the only day of the year that I would recommend
10/10
I can prove global warming is real.
The Chicago Cubs are still playing its October already.
Is your birthday the 10th of October?
Because you look like a 10/10!
How many seconds are there in one year?
12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.
I can't trust my heart or my brain to tell me who the next President will be
But I can trust my Vegas b**... and will be talking to him in October
Me and my crush are getting married
I am getting married on 31st august and she is on 31st october :(
October 10th was such a great day
10/10
Somebody needs to wake up Green Day
It's October 1st
October tenth is a day that I rate...
10/10
What was Humpty Dumpty's favorite month?
October... He had a great fall.
I always forget that holiday that comes at the end of October. Then the doorbell rings...
Witch reminds me.
A soldier comes up and asks me what today's date is. I say "October fourth". He says
10-4
With it being October, I thought I'd tell y'all about the time I had s**... in a cornmaze
It was a-maizeing.
September: I had one of the worst hurricane months on record and Hugh Hefner died.
October: Hold my beer
October is domestic a**... awareness month...
Time to make your significant other aware....
Overheard in line for a movie...
Theater employee: "That's an R-rated movie. When's your birthday?"
Teenage boy: "October 12th."
Employee: "What year?"
Boy: "Every year."
An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage.
The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked:
Where were you on the night of October to April?
An American couple adopt a German infant...
He is fine physically, and he is content. But he hasn't started speaking. At two, three, even four years old, he is mute.
Then, one October, at five years old, his parents give him a hot chocolate.
Zis is a bit tepid, he complains.
Gunther, you can speak! Why have you never spoken before?
Up to now, everything had been satisfactory.
Me: I have cheated once
Wife: me too
Me: first april...
Wife: 8th october
October is finally here...
Can somebody finally wake Billie joe Armstrong up? Sick of being reminded.
What's orange and black and comes together in October to really terrify people?
Donald and Kanye
October is Eczema Awareness Month
So I'm raising money by selling scratch cards.
October is Octover
November is Nowvember.
December is Desoonber.
Last October I went to garden party in the evening. Upon arrival I received a very warm welcome from an Irish woman.
Her name was Patti O'Heter.
My little daughter came to me all excited, shrieking, Daddy! Daddy! Guess how old I'll be in October! Playing along, I laughed, Oh I don't know princess, why don't you tell me? She gave me a huge smile and held up four fingers...
It's now three hours later, the police are annoyed and she *still* won't say where she got them...
This is getting ridiculous..
Only two days into October and now even COVID is pumpkin spiced.
It's finally October, and you know what that means!
Americans might actually start wearing masks.
A little son asks his father what a communism is...
...and the father starts explaining:
"Well, son, once upon a time there was this man named Lenin, except his real name was Uljanov. He had a friend named Stalin, except he wasn't his friend and his name was Dzugashvili. They started the October revolution, except it wasn't a revolution, it was a coup, and it wasn't in october, it was in november..."
"Jesus, dad, what a mess!" proclaims the son.
"Son, now you understand communism!"
On October 31st, we will have a full moon, and the 7th planet from the sun will be its brightest...
So when someone sees the moon that day, they will likely see Uranus too...
Totally sick of idiots letting fireworks off early, it's still October for goodness sake!!!
Dog is going mad and keeps knocking the Christmas tree over!
I always carry a stone with me that I use to throw at people who play Christmas music in October.
I call it my Jingle Bell Rock.
How do you get onlyfans for free after October?
Use Instagram
Did you guys know that according to scientists, in October the mitochondria turns into the frightochondria
And becomes the haunted house of the cell
halloween joke
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "Ah, October! Almost time for Halloween. This season reminds me of how I met my wife. I went to a costume party, and saw her across the room. Standing there all thin and tall and gorgeous next to her fat friend. They'd come to the party together dressed as the number ten," he tells the bartender. "That's when I knew, she was the one."
Last October, I was walking through the cemetery.
I came across a trash can where someone had thrown out their Kraft Halloween monster themed mac and cheese...
It was the mac.
It was the monster mac.
the monster mac
was in the graveyard trash.
Thanks mom for this more obscure one
I was on a date with a woman.
"When's your birthday?" I asked.
'13th of March."
"When's your mother's birthday?" I asked.
"24th of December."
"When's your father's birthday?" I asked.
"1st of October."
"Excellent," I replied. "So, when do you have s**... with someone for the first time?"
"Usually after four dates," she said.
"Ok, when's Valentine's Day?" I asked.
"Um...14th of February."
I said, "Perfect. Back to your place or mine?"
A man from northern Alaska is on trial…
The prosecutor asks in a menacing tone, Where were you in the night from October to April?
Did you know the original Gregorian calendar had different months?
January = Greg
February = Ian
March = Greg
April = Ian
May = Ian
June = Greg
July = Ian
August = Greg
September = Greg
October = Ian
November = Greg
December = Ian
A Russian couple finally gets to the front of the line to buy a car. "Your car is approved, it will here on October 5th, 2027." "Morning or afternoon?" asked the couple. "What difference does that make, it is five years from now."
"The plumber is coming in the morning."
How many Seconds are in a year?
12!
January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.
50 Jokes for 50 US States Part II
# Alaska
An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage. The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked, 'Where were you on the night of October to April?'
Disclaimer: This is not my joke. And I sure hope that its not a repost from any of the subs. I am sure that there will be numerous variations out there. So just wanted to let you know that I read it on Reader's Digest Issue 1/09, finding it funny, I wanted to share with the jokers here.
I watched The Hunt for Red October the other night. The characters were good…
…and I really liked the subplots
I hate that September, October, November, and December are somehow the 9th, 10th, 11th, and 12th months of the calendar year
Whoever messed that up ought to be stabbed
