october Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious october puns

The only two white actors in Black Panther are Martin Freeman, who played Bilbo Baggins, and Andy Serkis who played Gollum.

They're the Tolkien white guys.

👍🏼

A man meets a Native American with flawless memory...

When he meets this Native American Chief he notices he is older than most.
He asks the Chief many questions, and the Chief replies flawlessly to each one.

Then he thinks of a random date and asks the Chief, "What did you eat on October 18, 1987?" The Chief replies "Eggs".

He leaves the Chief and goes home. A year later he meets the Chief again. Feeling respectful he approaches the Chief, and says "How" and the Chief says, "Scrambled!"

👍🏼

Overheard in line for a movie...

Theater employee: "That's an R-rated movie. When's your birthday?"

Teenage boy: "October 12th."

Employee: "What year?"

Boy: "Every year."

👍🏼

An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage.

The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked:

Where were you on the night of October to April?

👍🏼

october

So a nun was driving along a road one October evening when it noticed a hitch hiker. The nun decided to pick him up. After a while, the man (hitchhiker) says,"Sister, i know you would disapprove, but i find you very attractive and would like to have intercourse with you. Im not married, so i woud not be sinning as much." Reluctantly, the nun says," will have anal sex with you, so it is not fully a sin." So, they pull over and get freaky, and get back in the car. The man says,"Sister, i really enjoyed that, but i have a confession; im married, and have 4 children." Appalled, the nun replies,"i have a confession to. My names Bob, and im on my way to a costume party."

👍🏼

How many seconds are there in one year?

12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.

👍🏼

What was Humpty Dumpty's favorite month?

October... He had a great fall.

👍🏼

October 10th was such a great day

10/10

👍🏼

Is your birthday the 10th of October?

Because you look like a 10/10!

👍🏼

What do Donald Trump and a pumpkin have in common?

They're orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be tossed out after October.

👍🏼

That's my plan and I'm sticking to it.

This is the transcript of a radio conversation of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. Radio conversation released by the Chief of Naval Operations 10-10-95.

Americans: Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a Collision.

Canadians: Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision.

Americans: This is the Captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course.

Canadians: No. I say again, you divert YOUR course.

Americans: This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States' Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that YOU change your course 15 degrees north, that's one five degrees north, or countermeasures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship.

Canadians: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

👍🏼

The US Navy

Transcript of a US naval ship with Canadian authorities off the coast of Newfoundland in October, 1995. This radio conversation was released by the Chief of Naval Operations on 10-10-95.

Americans: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the North to avoid a collision."

Canadians: "Recommend you divert YOUR course 15 degrees to the South to avoid a collision."

Americans: "This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course."

Canadians: "No, I say again, you divert YOUR course."

Americans: "THIS IS THE AIRCRAFT CARRIER USS ABRAHAM LINCOLN, THE SECOND LARGEST SHIP IN THE UNITED STATES' ATLANTIC FLEET. WE ARE ACCOMPANIED BY THREE DESTROYERS, THREE CRUISERS AND NUMEROUS SUPPORT VESSELS. I DEMAND THAT YOU CHANGE YOUR COURSE 15 DEGREES NORTH. THAT'S ONE-FIVE DEGREES NORTH, OR COUNTER MEASURES WILL BE UNDERTAKEN TO ENSURE THE SAFETY OF THIS SHIP."

Canadians: "This is a lighthouse. Your call."

👍🏼

An American couple adopt a German infant...

He is fine physically, and he is content. But he hasn't started speaking. At two, three, even four years old, he is mute.

Then, one October, at five years old, his parents give him a hot chocolate.

Zis is a bit tepid, he complains.

Gunther, you can speak! Why have you never spoken before?

Up to now, everything had been satisfactory.

👍🏼

Not sure what you have heard, but it actually only rains twice a year in Seattle.

October through May, then June through September.

👍🏼

Me: I have cheated once

Wife: me too

Me: first april...

Wife: 8th october

👍🏼

I found a ghost passed out on my stairs last night.

He must have been really into the boos!

Happy October!

👍🏼

October is domestic abuse awareness month...

Time to make your significant other aware....

👍🏼

An accidental time traveler falls in a wormhole

He emerges into a building in chaos, people running and screaming. Bodies crashing to the pavement outside

"OH FUCK!" He screams. It must be September 11 2001!!

A man screams in return "No you fool! It's October 24th,1929!"

👍🏼

I can't trust my heart or my brain to tell me who the next President will be

But I can trust my Vegas bookie and will be talking to him in October

👍🏼

October tenth is a day that I rate...

10/10

👍🏼

Somebody needs to wake up Green Day

It's October 1st

👍🏼

Canadian visits friend in the states

Canadian: "How is it 30 degrees here in October?"

Friend: "The real question is, how is it 30 degrees THERE in October?"

👍🏼

A German Dad Joke

So, because St. Patrick's Day is tomorrow I asked my dad (who is German) if Germans have any day like St. Patrick's Day. His said, "Yes, it's called October."

👍🏼

October is finally here...

Can somebody finally wake Billie joe Armstrong up? Sick of being reminded.

👍🏼

The tenth of October is the only day of the year that I would recommend

10/10

👍🏼

Oh, Its October

Guess we should wake up that guy from green day then

👍🏼

With it being October, I thought I'd tell y'all about the time I had sex in a cornmaze

It was a-maizeing.

👍🏼

A soldier comes up and asks me what today's date is. I say "October fourth". He says

10-4

👍🏼

October is Octover

November is Nowvember.
December is Desoonber.

👍🏼

I always forget that holiday that comes at the end of October. Then the doorbell rings...

Witch reminds me.

👍🏼

September: I had one of the worst hurricane months on record and Hugh Hefner died.

October: Hold my beer

👍🏼

Why couldn't the man get his wife pregnant on October 31st?

Because he had a hallow-weenie.

👍🏼

I can prove global warming is real.

The Chicago Cubs are still playing its October already.

👍🏼

Apparently Burger King will be giving away free whoppers on October 13th to Special Olympians

I'd be downs for that

👍🏼

Guys I guess October is...

Octover

👍🏼

What are the most funny October jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about October? Well, here are the best October dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and October pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes