The Best 69 Ocean Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Ocean jokes. There are some ocean raft jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these ocean frank ocean puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Ocean Jokes and Puns

So I dragged off this girl from the bar the other night...

She had this cool tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh. Damnedest thing, though! When I put my ear to it, I could smell the ocean.

Science Joke

A physicist, biologist and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time.

The physicist saw the violent ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked out into the waves. He was pulled under and never returned.

The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked out to the ocean. He too, never returned.

The chemist waited for a long time and afterwards, wrote in his journal, "Physicist and Biologist both soluble."

A Fishing Tale


On the shore of the Indian Ocean a raggedy Indian fisherman lay dozing with a hat over his face. Beside him two fishing lines were stuck into the sand.

Up comes an American.

'What are you sleeping for?' says the American. 'You'd be better off catching fish.'

'What for?' asks the fisherman.

'What do you mean, what for? You'd catch some fish, you'd sell them and with the money you'd buy yourself a trawler.

The trawler would catch even more fish. You'd sell it and buy yourself an even bigger boat. You'd catch still more fish. You'd sell it.

Then you'd build yourself a fish processing factory . . . and get rich.

And then you could lie on the beach and sleep.'

The fisherman pulled his hat even further down over his face.

'But that's what I'm doing now.'

Ocean joke, A Fishing Tale

So my girlfriend got a new tattoo......

Of a seashell located on her inner thigh, and the best part is if you place your ear next to it you can smell the ocean.

Somewhere off Gilligan's Island...

On a Christmas cruise on a luxury ocean liner in the Pacific,
a passenger sees seven straggly people on a small island
jumping up and down and waving their hands and shouting.

"Who are they?" the passenger asks the captain.

"I've no idea. But each year when we pass, they go nuts."


Obama goes on vacation to South Carolina and goes for an ocean swim...

And begins to drown! A young lifeguard swims out and rescues him, pulling him back to shore.

"Thank you so much for saving me young lady. Please, tell me what I can do to repay you."

"Aw shucks, I don't need nuthin', sir, it's just ma job!" She says.

"Listen, I'm the President of the United States, I can give you anything you want!"

She thinks for a moment and says "Well, I'd mighty like a plot at the Arlington National Cemetery if ya can do that fer me."

"Why does a young woman like you want a burial plot at the cemetery?"

"Because" she said, "When my friends and family find out what I just did they'll kill me!"

Swimming in the Ocean

I while back I was sitting on a beach in Mexico watching this guy in the ocean screaming "HELP SHARK, HELP!" I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him.

Ocean joke, Swimming in the Ocean

My gay friend fell into the ocean

Good thing he's so flambuoyant.

A red boat and a blue boat crash into each other in the ocean...

All the passengers were marooned.

One of my dad's favorites about flying

"You know there are more planes at the bottom of the ocean than submarines in the sky. They have never left one up there."

Where are you only allowed to swim if you have red hair, a lip piercing, three brothers, a missing finger, are slightly overweight and have a birthday in december?

The specific ocean.

You can explore ocean atlantic reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean ocean waves dad jokes. There are also ocean puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


There are three men in a boat in the middle of the ocean with four cigarettes, no lighter or any matches. What do they do?

They throw one of the cigarettes overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.

I dreamt that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda...

But I woke up and realized it was just a fanta sea.

What shakes and sits at the bottom of the ocean?

A nervous wreck.

Why is the ocean so salty?

The land never waves back.

Why are oceans called "The High Seas"?

Because of all the seaweed!

Ocean joke, Why are oceans called "The High Seas"?

I used to think an ocean of soda existed.

Turns out it was just Fanta sea.

Why is the bottom of the ocean so dark?

Black people can't swim.

I've always dreamed of swimming in an ocean of orange soda

Its a fanta-sea of mine


Did you hear the one about the girl with a seashell tattoo on her inner thigh?

If you put your ear up next to it, you can smell the ocean.

If Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are together on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it sinks, who survives?

America.

A father and son go fishing...

Son: Dad, what do we do first?

Father: We get this clickbait here and we throw it into the ocean.

Son: Then what happens?

Father: What happens next will shock you.

Did you know there are more planes in the ocean..

Than submarines in the sky?

A ship was sailing in the middle of the ocean....

A storm was developing in the distance. As the storm raged, the captain realised the ship was sinking fast.

He called out loud, "Anyone here knows how to pray?"

A man proudly raised his hand and came forward, "Aye Captain, I know how to pray."

The Captain replied, "Great, you keep praying while the rest of us put our life jackets on.......we are short of one!"

What lies on the bottom of the ocean and sweats?

A nervous wreck...

A Life Guard is walking along a beach

A Life Guard is walking along a beach when she sees a man splashing around feverishly in the ocean. "Help, shark! Help!" he cries.

The Life guard laughs, because she knows the shark will never help that man.

I dropped my laptop in the middle of the ocean

A dell must be rolling in the deep

A physicist, a biologist, and a chemist go to the beach...

The physicist looks out over the ocean and says "I want to go into the water and study the fluid dynamics." The physicist then walks into the ocean and drowns. Then the biologist looks out over the ocean and says "I want to go into the water and study the local marine life." The biologist then walks into the ocean and drowns. Lastly, the chemist looks out over the ocean and says "I have come to a conclusion, physicists and biologists are soluble in water!"

My girlfriend got a tattoo of a conch shell on her inner thigh...

Every time I lay my ear on it I can smell the ocean.

If I lie there long enough, I get crabs on my forehead.

A penguin falls asleep on an iceberg,...

When he wakes up, he finds himself encased in ice, floating in the middle of the ocean. To his fortune, he spots the horn of a narwhal close by. Thanking his lucky stars, he calls out to him. The narwhal comes and the penguin asks "Thank goodness you're around, Mr. Narwhal. Could you break the ice?". The narwhal stares at him for a bit.

"Ok, so what are your hobbies?"

I dreamed I drowned in an ocean made of orange soda.

When I woke I realized it was just a Fanta sea.

A blonde gets a tattoo...

...On her inner thigh of a conch shell.

Friend: Why did you get a conch shell tattoo on your inner thigh?

Blonde: So that when you put your ear against it you can smell the ocean.

There are more airplanes in the ocean

than submarines in the sky

Why is the ocean so salty?

Because the land doesn't wave back.

My wife recently got a seashell tattooed on her thigh.

When you put your ear close to it, you can really smell the ocean.

I once had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of carbonated orange juice.

Thankfully it was just a fanta sea.

My girlfriend has a tattoo of a sea shell on her inner thigh.

When you put your ear on it, you can smell the ocean.

God Will Save Me

There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn't swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, "Do you need help, sir?" The preacher calmly said "No, God will save me." A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, "Hey, do you need help?" The preacher replied again, "No God will save me." Eventually the preacher drowned & went to heaven. The preacher asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God replied, "Fool, I sent you two boats!"

A friend of mine got a seashell tattoo on her thigh...

If you put your ear up to it, you can smell the ocean

I looked at the ocean today, and thought it looked completely orange...

And so then I wondered if it was reality or a Fanta sea.

It's not the size of the ship, nor the motion of the ocean...

It's whether or not the captain stays in port long enough for all the passengers to get off.

*Fantastic Ocean Life Facts* The Blue Whale is by far the world's largest animal...

...it's so big in fact that if you laid it out on a basketball court, the game would be over and the whale would die.

Scott Pruitt has resigned to focus more on his true passion..

Throwing uncut plastic soda rings into the ocean.

A cargo ship sank in the ocean. The cargo, Idaho potatoes and rubber penises, floated in the vicinity.

The Coast Guard had received a distress call, but a chopper arrived to find no ship in the water. Seeing the cargo strewn about on the water, they decided to send a diver down to look for the ship.

"I already know what kind of ship to look for," the diver told the chopper pilot.

"How could you possibly know what kind of ship it was?" replied the pilot.

"It was a dictatorship."

You ever heard of the ocean located at 5.694647° S, 136.987557° W?

I like to call it the specific ocean.

I hope that when Kim Kardashian goes to the beach, she doesn't swim.

The last thing we need is more plastic in the ocean.

I met this girl with a tattoo of a sea shell on her inner thigh

She told that if I put my ear to it, I can smell the ocean.

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?

A nervous wreck.

(I'll see myself out.)

My wife got a new tattoo on her inner thigh.

It's a seashell. When you put your ear on it, you can smell the ocean.

Two whales are swimming along in the ocean...

When one whale spots a fishing boat. So he says to the other whale "Hey, that is the boat that harpooned Frank, we should get back at them"

The other whale says "Oh yeah? What should we do?"

"I say we both go under their boat, and blow our blowholes as hard as we can, that will knock over their boat!" And so both whales went under the boat, and with a powerful blast they were able to capsize the boat and send all the sailors into the water.

The first whale then says "Now that they are all in the water, I say we eat them!"

And the second whale replies "Woah, woah, woah. I was all for the blow job but I won't swallow any seamen".

I met this girl with a seashell tattooed on her inner thigh

Cool thing about it is, if you put your ear up to it, you can really smell the ocean

Years ago, my Mother-in-law began reading, "The Exorcist". She said it was the most evil book she ever read. So evil in fact, she couldn't finish it, took it to the ocean and threw it off the pier.

I went out, but another copy, ran it under the faucet, and left it beside her bed.

The coast guard fined my girlfriend and I for having sex in the ocean.

Apparently off-shore drilling is prohibited.

A sole and a flounder are swimming in the ocean when they bump into each other. The sole says, "A flounder!"

The flounder, to be polite, says nothing.

What do you get when you cross the ocean with the Titanic?

Half way.

A woman with a morbid fear of drowning is on a ship in the middle of an ocean. Nervously,she asks a crew member 'how far away from land are we?' He reassures her' don't worry,we're only 5 miles from land'. Relieved, she says 'oh,in which direction?'

'That would be straight down Ma'am', he replies..

One of the most beautiful things in the world is a women's heart. It is fragile yet strong. Delicate yet resilient. It's a cradle of love, emotions and compassion. It like an ocean of secrets.

And of course its covered with boobs.

A lady with a morbid fear of drowning is on a ship in the middle of an ocean. Nervously , she asks a crew member 'just how far away from land are we?' Calmly, he reassures her ' you have nothing to worry about ,we're only 5 kilometers from land.' Relieved, she inquires 'oh, in which direction?'

That would be straight down, Miss........

What do you call the Kardashian family taking a swim in the ocean?

pollution

Q: What do you call 500 neo-Nazis at the bottom of the ocean?

A: A good start.

Q: What do you call 500 triathletes at the bottom of the ocean?

A: A bad start.

Why is the ocean so powerful?

Because it has lots of mussels.

Where do you find a particular type of whale?

In the Specific Ocean

A woman goes to dump her dads ashes in the ocean to fulfill his wishes.

When she tries to pour the ashes into the ocean, the wind blows the ash back into her eyes.


She hears her dad say "Whats wrong, you cant sea?"

3 men are standing on a cliff near the ocean.

Suddenly, a genie appears and says: "I can turn you into anything you want, if you jump off this cliff. Just say what you want to transform into after jumping, and I will work my magic."

The first man jumps, and shouts:

"Seagull!"

He then transforms into a seagull, and flies away.

The second man jumps, and shouts:

"Whale!"

He turns into a whale, and lands in the water.

The third man, tripped on a rock and shouted:

"Shit!"

Did you guys hear about the shipment of spices that fell into the ocean??

Huge waste of thyme.

What's the most offensive fish in the ocean?

The trigger fish.

Two Irishmen lose their oars

Two Irishmen lose their oars after paddling far out into the ocean. They were lost and had no idea what to do. One of them finds a bottle floating and picks it out of the water only to find a genie pop out. The genie tell them that he will grant them only 1 wish. Without hesitation, one of them shouts I want the ocean water to turn to Guinness!

The genie grants his wish and disappears. The other Irishman was furious with his partners quick decision. He looks at him and screams you moron! Your haste decision has screwed us! Now we have to piss in the boat!

If the deepest part of the ocean had been discovered by the HMS Balls

Would it be known as Balls Deep?

What lies at the bottom of the ocean and quivers?

A nervous wreck!!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the ocean middle of the ocean jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working ocean seashore piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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