Ocean Jokes
147 ocean jokes and hilarious ocean puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ocean that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Jokes about the ocean provide endless fun and entertainment, especially for kids in kindergarten! From the Pacific to the Atlantic, take a deep dive into our collection of ocean jokes and seaside puns, sure to leave you laughing in saltwater tears.
Quick Jump To
- Short Ocean Jokes
- Ocean One Liners
- Bottom Ocean Jokes
- Atlantic Ocean Jokes
- Pacific Ocean Jokes
- Middle Of The Ocean Jokes
- Bad Ocean Jokes
- More Ocean Jokes
Funniest Ocean Short Jokes
Short ocean jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ocean humour may include short aquarium jokes also.
- I hope that when kim kardashian goes to the beach, she doesn't swim. The last thing we need is more plastic in the ocean.
- Donald Trump has announced that he plan to extend his wall across the oceans... This news came after he discovered that a man named Jesus managed to walk on water.
- I dreamed I drowned in an ocean made of orange soda. When I woke I realized it was just a Fanta sea.
- My girlfriend got a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh… When I hold my ear up to it I can smell the ocean!
- I knew a girl with a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh She said if you put your ear up to it, you could smell the ocean.
- I once had a dream that I was swimming in an ocean of carbonated orange juice. Thankfully it was just a fanta sea.
- What's the difference between a buoy and my ex girlfriend? A buoy can be found above the ocean's surface.
- So my girlfriend got a new tattoo...... Of a seashell located on her inner thigh, and the best part is if you place your ear next to it you can smell the ocean.
- Earth is flat! I mean, when was the last time you came across naturally carbonated ocean water?
- My girlfriend has a tattoo of a sea shell on her inner thigh. When you put your ear on it, you can smell the ocean.
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Ocean One Liners
Which ocean one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ocean? I can suggest the ones about under the sea and seas.
- Why is the ocean so salty? Because the land doesn't wave back.
- An LGBQT cruising ship sinks in the middle of the ocean. Who survives? The flambuoyants.
- I dream of one day swimming in an ocean of orange carbonated water It's my Fanta sea.
- I dropped my laptop in the middle of the ocean A dell must be rolling in the deep
- Last night I dreamed the oceans were made of orange soda. But it was just a Fanta sea.
- I used to think an ocean of soda existed. Turns out it was just Fanta sea.
- What shakes and sits at the bottom of the ocean? A nervous wreck.
- There are more airplanes in the ocean than submarines in the sky
- What lives in the ocean and IS REALLY LOUD AND ANNOYING. A yellyfish.
- My gay friend fell into the ocean Good thing he's so flambuoyant.
- Did you know there are more planes in the ocean.. Than submarines in the sky?
- Why is the bottom of the ocean so dark? Black people can't swim.
- Why is the ocean so salty? The land never waves back.
- What do you call a group of accordions at the bottom of the ocean? A good start.
- What's the ocean's favorite news segment? Current events.
Bottom Ocean Jokes
Here is a list of funny bottom ocean jokes and even better bottom ocean puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- One of my dad's favorites about flying "You know there are more planes at the bottom of the ocean than submarines in the sky. They have never left one up there."
- What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck.
(I'll see myself out.) - What lies on the bottom of the ocean and sweats? A nervous wreck...
- what kind of music sinks to the bottom of the ocean Heavy rock
- What lies at the bottom of the ocean and quivers? A nervous wreck!!
- Fun WWI fact: There are more crashed planes down at the bottom of the ocean than- -crashed submarines in the sky.
- What do you call four Mexicans at the bottom of the ocean? Quatro Sinko
- Why was the fish at the bottom of the ocean? Because he dropped out of school.
- What do you call a dog that's blasting out music at the bottom of the ocean? A subwoofer.
(You can credit/discredit my son for coming up with this) - What do you call a thousand Australian lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? The Great Barrister Reef.
Atlantic Ocean Jokes
Here is a list of funny atlantic ocean jokes and even better atlantic ocean puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- With all the turmoil in the world, the US benefits from its two greatest allies... The Atlantic and Pacific oceans.
- If your body was the size of the Atlantic ocean, your red blood cells would be the size of the Titanic Let that sink in
- If the rumors about Apple manufacturing a driverless car... Then I can't wait to drive into the middle of the Atlantic ocean!
- "It's not about the size of the boat it's the motion of the ocean"... But it's hard to get cross the Atlantic with a rowboat
- What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Indian Ocean? You need to be more Pacific.
*cymbal clash*
- What do you get when you cross the Atlantic Ocean with the Titanic? You get a little over halfway.
- What do you get if you cross the Atlantic Ocean in the Titanic? About half way.
- What do you get when you travel to the Atlantic Ocean on a ship? About half-way.
- I live near an ocean—not the Atlantic. Can you be more Pacific?
- I identify as the second largest oceanic division... I am a Trans-Atlantic.
Pacific Ocean Jokes
Here is a list of funny pacific ocean jokes and even better pacific ocean puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's big and blue and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? The Pacific Ocean.
- What's the biggest thing that separates Jaguars from Leopards? The Pacific Ocean.
- The Kardashians go for a swim in the pacific ocean The percentage of plastic in the ocean increases by 400%.
- My friend didn't understand my ocean puns I guess I should have been more pacific.
I'll sea myself out. - "What is the largest body of water in the world?" Quiz contestant: "The ocean?" Asker: "I'm sorry, you're going to have to be more Pacific."
- How big is the specific ocean? Sorry, could you be a little more pacific.
- Q: What do you call 400 lawyers at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean?
A: A great place to start. - Which ocean? Could you be more Pacific?
- -- A tsunami warning has just been issued for the entire coast of California -- In other news:
Your mom recently did a cannon ball into the Pacific Ocean. - (True Story) Just got off a plane through the pacific and realized something... There is no such thing as an emergency water landing. It's called crashing into the ocean.
Middle Of The Ocean Jokes
Here is a list of funny middle of the ocean jokes and even better middle of the ocean puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- If Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are together on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it sinks, who survives? America.
- If there is a plastic island the size of Australia in the middle of the ocean, Then we have nothing to worry about because Australia doesn't exist
- A ship carrying red paint and a ship carrying blue paint collide in the middle of the ocean...... Both crews were marooned
- You're in the middle of the ocean and you see Trump and Hillary drowning but you only have room in your boat to save one. Who do you save? America. Keep right on going and don't stop.
- Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and it started to sink, who would get saved? A: America !
- What do you call a Punjabi fellow stuck in the middle of a shark-filled ocean? Amandeep trouble.
- My sister thought of this one during the twenty sixteen election. Hillary and Trump are stuck on a boat in the middle of the ocean. Who wins? America.
- What do you call a town in the middle of the Arctic Ocean? An Iceburgh.
- What do you call a rock in the middle of the ocean, that no matter how much you push down on it it won't go down? An island
- What did the sign in the middle of the ocean say? Notice
Bad Ocean Jokes
Here is a list of funny bad ocean jokes and even better bad ocean puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why can't the Kardashians swim at the beach? Because plastic is bad for the ocean.
- Why does the ocean smell bad? Because the seaweed
- Why are bad school grades like a shipwreck in the Arctic Ocean? They're both below C level!
- Q: What do you call 500 neo-n**... at the bottom of the ocean? A: A good start.
Q: What do you call 500 triathletes at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A bad start. - Why is the wave bad at driving with the ocean? Because they c**....
Hilarious Ocean Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends
What funny jokes about ocean you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean underwater jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ocean pranks.
So I dragged off this girl from the bar the other night...
She had this cool tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh. Damnedest thing, though! When I put my ear to it, I could smell the ocean.
Science Joke
A physicist, biologist and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time.
The physicist saw the violent ocean and was fascinated by the waves. He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked out into the waves. He was pulled under and never returned.
The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked out to the ocean. He too, never returned.
The chemist waited for a long time and afterwards, wrote in his journal, "Physicist and Biologist both soluble."
A Fishing Tale
On the shore of the Indian Ocean a raggedy Indian fisherman lay dozing with a hat over his face. Beside him two fishing lines were stuck into the sand.
Up comes an American.
'What are you sleeping for?' says the American. 'You'd be better off catching fish.'
'What for?' asks the fisherman.
'What do you mean, what for? You'd catch some fish, you'd sell them and with the money you'd buy yourself a trawler.
The trawler would catch even more fish. You'd sell it and buy yourself an even bigger boat. You'd catch still more fish. You'd sell it.
Then you'd build yourself a fish processing factory . . . and get rich.
And then you could lie on the beach and sleep.'
The fisherman pulled his hat even further down over his face.
'But that's what I'm doing now.'
Two whales are swimming in the ocean. One whale opens his mouth and says "BEEEEEOOOOOOUUUUUUUGAA BOOOOOOUUUUAAAAAAAAEEEOOOOH"
The other whale turns to him and says "Dude you are so drunk."
What did one ocean say to the other?
Nothing, it just waved.
Sea what I did there?
I'm shore you did.
Laugh, you son of a beach!
Somewhere off Gilligan's Island...
On a Christmas cruise on a luxury ocean liner in the Pacific,
a passenger sees seven straggly people on a small island
jumping up and down and waving their hands and shouting.
"Who are they?" the passenger asks the captain.
"I've no idea. But each year when we pass, they go nuts."
Obama goes on vacation to South Carolina and goes for an ocean swim...
And begins to drown! A young lifeguard swims out and rescues him, pulling him back to shore.
"Thank you so much for saving me young lady. Please, tell me what I can do to repay you."
"Aw shucks, I don't need nuthin', sir, it's just ma job!" She says.
"Listen, I'm the President of the United States, I can give you anything you want!"
She thinks for a moment and says "Well, I'd mighty like a plot at the Arlington National Cemetery if ya can do that fer me."
"Why does a young woman like you want a burial plot at the cemetery?"
"Because" she said, "When my friends and family find out what I just did they'll kill me!"
Swimming in the Ocean
I while back I was sitting on a beach in Mexico watching this guy in the ocean screaming "HELP SHARK, HELP!" I just laughed, I knew that shark wasn't going to help him.
A red boat and a blue boat c**... into each other in the ocean...
All the passengers were marooned.
What did the two oceans say to each-other?
Nothing, they just waved.
Where are you only allowed to swim if you have red hair, a lip piercing, three brothers, a missing finger, are slightly overweight and have a birthday in december?
The specific ocean.
There are three men in a boat in the middle of the ocean with four cigarettes, no lighter or any matches. What do they do?
They throw one of the cigarettes overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
I dreamt that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda...
But I woke up and realized it was just a fanta sea.
Why are oceans called "The High Seas"?
Because of all the seaweed!
I've always dreamed of swimming in an ocean of orange soda
Its a fanta-sea of mine
Did you hear the one about the girl with a seashell tattoo on her inner thigh?
If you put your ear up next to it, you can smell the ocean.
A father and son go fishing...
Son: Dad, what do we do first?
Father: We get this clickbait here and we throw it into the ocean.
Son: Then what happens?
Father: What happens next will shock you.
A ship was sailing in the middle of the ocean....
A storm was developing in the distance. As the storm raged, the captain realised the ship was sinking fast.
He called out loud, "Anyone here knows how to pray?"
A man proudly raised his hand and came forward, "Aye Captain, I know how to pray."
The Captain replied, "Great, you keep praying while the rest of us put our life jackets on.......we are short of one!"
A Life Guard is walking along a beach
A Life Guard is walking along a beach when she sees a man splashing around feverishly in the ocean. "Help, shark! Help!" he cries.
The Life guard laughs, because she knows the shark will never help that man.
A physicist, a biologist, and a chemist go to the beach...
The physicist looks out over the ocean and says "I want to go into the water and study the fluid dynamics." The physicist then walks into the ocean and drowns. Then the biologist looks out over the ocean and says "I want to go into the water and study the local marine life." The biologist then walks into the ocean and drowns. Lastly, the chemist looks out over the ocean and says "I have come to a conclusion, physicists and biologists are soluble in water!"
My girlfriend got a tattoo of a conch shell on her inner thigh...
Every time I lay my ear on it I can smell the ocean.
If I lie there long enough, I get c**... on my forehead.
A penguin falls asleep on an iceberg,...
When he wakes up, he finds himself encased in ice, floating in the middle of the ocean. To his fortune, he spots the horn of a narwhal close by. Thanking his lucky stars, he calls out to him. The narwhal comes and the penguin asks "Thank goodness you're around, Mr. Narwhal. Could you break the ice?". The narwhal stares at him for a bit.
"Ok, so what are your hobbies?"
Vaginas are like the ocean.
One day I would like to see the ocean...
A blonde gets a tattoo...
...On her inner thigh of a conch shell.
Friend: Why did you get a conch shell tattoo on your inner thigh?
Blonde: So that when you put your ear against it you can smell the ocean.
My wife recently got a seashell tattooed on her thigh.
When you put your ear close to it, you can really smell the ocean.
God Will Save Me
There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn't swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, "Do you need help, sir?" The preacher calmly said "No, God will save me." A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, "Hey, do you need help?" The preacher replied again, "No God will save me." Eventually the preacher drowned & went to heaven. The preacher asked God, "Why didn't you save me?" God replied, "Fool, I sent you two boats!"
A friend of mine got a seashell tattoo on her thigh...
If you put your ear up to it, you can smell the ocean
I looked at the ocean today, and thought it looked completely orange...
And so then I wondered if it was reality or a Fanta sea.
It's not the size of the ship, nor the motion of the ocean...
It's whether or not the captain stays in port long enough for all the passengers to get off.
*Fantastic Ocean Life Facts* The Blue Whale is by far the world's largest animal...
...it's so big in fact that if you laid it out on a basketball court, the game would be over and the whale would die.
Scott Pruitt has resigned to focus more on his true passion..
Throwing uncut plastic soda rings into the ocean.
A cargo ship sank in the ocean. The cargo, Idaho potatoes and rubber p**..., floated in the vicinity.
The Coast Guard had received a distress call, but a chopper arrived to find no ship in the water. Seeing the cargo strewn about on the water, they decided to send a diver down to look for the ship.
"I already know what kind of ship to look for," the diver told the chopper pilot.
"How could you possibly know what kind of ship it was?" replied the pilot.
"It was a dictatorship."
You ever heard of the ocean located at 5.694647° S, 136.987557° W?
I like to call it the specific ocean.
I met this girl with a tattoo of a sea shell on her inner thigh
She told that if I put my ear to it, I can smell the ocean.
My wife got a new tattoo on her inner thigh.
It's a seashell. When you put your ear on it, you can smell the ocean.
Two whales are swimming along in the ocean...
When one whale spots a fishing boat. So he says to the other whale "Hey, that is the boat that harpooned Frank, we should get back at them"
The other whale says "Oh yeah? What should we do?"
"I say we both go under their boat, and blow our blowholes as hard as we can, that will knock over their boat!" And so both whales went under the boat, and with a powerful blast they were able to capsize the boat and send all the sailors into the water.
The first whale then says "Now that they are all in the water, I say we eat them!"
And the second whale replies "Woah, woah, woah. I was all for the b**... but I won't s**... any s**...".
I met this girl with a seashell tattooed on her inner thigh
Cool thing about it is, if you put your ear up to it, you can really smell the ocean
Years ago, my Mother-in-law began reading, "The Exorcist". She said it was the most evil book she ever read. So evil in fact, she couldn't finish it, took it to the ocean and threw it off the pier.
I went out, but another copy, ran it under the faucet, and left it beside her bed.
The coast guard fined my girlfriend and I for having s**... in the ocean.
Apparently off-shore drilling is prohibited.
My 4 yo sister came to me and told this joke?
Why didn't the ocean dry up?
Because it didn't have a towel.
I had a dream I was drowning in an ocean of fizzy drink
But it was just a fanta sea
A sole and a flounder are swimming in the ocean when they bump into each other. The sole says, "A flounder!"
The flounder, to be polite, says nothing.
What do you get when you cross the ocean with the Titanic?
Half way.
A woman with a morbid fear of drowning is on a ship in the middle of an ocean. Nervously,she asks a crew member 'how far away from land are we?' He reassures her' don't worry,we're only 5 miles from land'. Relieved, she says 'oh,in which direction?'
'That would be straight down Ma'am', he replies..
One of the most beautiful things in the world is a women's heart. It is fragile yet strong. Delicate yet resilient. It's a cradle of love, emotions and compassion. It like an ocean of secrets.
And of course its covered with b**....
A lady with a morbid fear of drowning is on a ship in the middle of an ocean. Nervously , she asks a crew member 'just how far away from land are we?' Calmly, he reassures her ' you have nothing to worry about ,we're only 5 kilometers from land.' Relieved, she inquires 'oh, in which direction?'
That would be straight down, Miss........
What do you call the Kardashian family taking a swim in the ocean?
pollution
Why is the ocean so powerful?
Because it has lots of mussels.
Did you know that there are more airplanes in the ocean than there are submarines in the air?
I mean... it's plane to sea.
Why did the lifeguard fail to rescue the hippie drowning in the ocean?
Because he was too far out, man.
Why couldn't the ocean wave?
Its hands were tide.
I hope the Kardashians don't go to the beach this year.
All we need is more plastic in the ocean.
I dreamed that I was swimming in an ocean of orange soda
But then I woke up. It was just a fanta sea.
A therapist gets a call from their patient saying they are going to kill themself…
Therapist: Why do you want to kill yourself?
Patient: Because you don't take me seriously, and you're always needlessly pedantic!
Therapist: How would you do it?
Patient: I'm going to jump.
Therapist: Now?
Patient: Yes now! I'm looking at a hundred foot drop…
Therapist: Where are you?
Patient: The cliff overlooking the ocean. I mean it doc,I don't care if I drown or hit the rocks. I'll do it! I'll jump!
Therapist: but… that's a bluff.
Patient: …………..
Therapist: Hello?
How do we really know the ocean is friendly?
It waves.
A Dr. Of marine biology was inspired to create a new beverage.
Dr. Marcus Opor, renowned marine biologist and ocean sustainability expert, experimented with a brewed beverage with skipjack tuna as its primary ingredient. He spent years alternating its composition, striving for a balance of savory and rich ocean flavors. At last, he perfected his "tea", and was ready to bring it to market.
Dr. Opor made a single sample of his piscine tea and brought it to Costco to perform a taste test. Sadly, nobody was interested in his tuna beverage and it was thrown out.
It was a wasted Opor tuna tea.
A biologist, physicist, and a chemist all go to the beach for the first time.
The physicist, upon seeing the majestic waves, exclaims,
"Behold! I wonder how much force the waves of the ocean can produce?"
And so he dives into the water but is never seen again.
The biologist, upon seeing fish in the water, cries out,
"I wonder how many life forms live in the depths below?"
And so he too dives into the water and is never seen again.
The chemist, after having observed everything that happened, then pulls out his lab notebook and writes,
*The physicist and the biologist were both soluble in water.*
