Obvious Question Jokes
27 obvious question jokes and hilarious obvious question puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about obvious question that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Obvious Question Short Jokes
Short obvious question jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The obvious question humour may include short obvious answer jokes also.
- I asked my Commander if he thought I could be Captain some day. He told me I ask the obvious questions.
- I was talking to a sedevacantist and he asked a very obvious question, I responded by saying "Is the pope Catholic?" His reply: "Not since 1962"
- What personal question is not obvious yet nobody has ever needed to ask anyone? Are you vegan?
- "Honey, am i the only one you are in love with?" "Obviously my dear, Can't understand why everyone keeps asking me that question"
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Obvious Question Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about obvious question you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stating the obvious jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make obvious question pranks.
Some years back a friend at work came up to me and said "Can I ask you a question ?"
Some years back a friend at work came up to me and said
"Can I ask you a question ?" I replied "Apparently"
"He chuckled and said "Can I ask you another question?"
I said "Obviously"....
"Can I ask a s**... question?"
"Better than anybody I know."
So aliens from Mars comes down to Earth...
...And they're friendly! The leaders of the world and the aliens plan a huge televised event where the leaders can ask questions on whatever they want.
During this event, the pope is up to talk to the aliens.
"I know this question may sound odd to you gentlemen," the pope starts to ask, "but I was wondering if you and your kind knew about Jesus Christ?"
"Jesus Christ?!?" the alien leader exclaims, "how do we not! He swings by our planet every two years or so. Awesome guy!"
Now this obviously starts a huge debate within the UN, as this information now has implications to everything they knew. The pope, however, is not exactly a happy person as his brain is on other information.
"EVERY TWO YEARS OR SO?!?" The pope exclaims, "We've still been waiting for his SECOND coming!"
Trying to calm down the pope, the aliens say "Well maybe he didn't like your chocolate."
The pope, upon hearing this news, takes a few moments to calm down. When he finally regains his composure, he states calmly, "Forgive me, but what does chocolate have anything to do with this?"
The aliens respond, "Well when he was on our planet, we would give him huge boxes of chocolates. Why, what did you guys do when he was here?"
Little Tommy gets asked to stay after class...
so little boy tommy isnt very good at math so his teacher kindly asks him to stay after class so she can help him.He agrees and listens to the teacher as she gives an example.She starts off by saying that if there are 10 birds on a telephone pole and you shoot one off, how many are left? he quickly answers "none". she says "no tommy, there would be 9". he then looks at her and says "thats impossible, obviously if you shoot one off, they would all fly away". she tells him that she likes the way he thinks. he follows up by saying "can i ask you a question miss, if there are 3 ladies holding a lollipop, 1 s**... it, 1 l**... it, and 1 biting it...which one is married? the teacher quickly replies with "the one s**... it". he looks at her and says "no, the one with the ring on her finger, **but** i like the way you think
Asylum
A reporter is looking for a new story and thought an asylum for the insane would make a nice story. There, his first question is how they know who is sane and who's insane. "Well," the woman working there replied "We give everyone a teaspoon, a tablespoon and a bucket. Then we lead them to the bathroom and ask them to empty the bathtub as fast as they can". "Obviously, the sane people would use the bucket" the reporter says.
"No, the sane people would use the plug..."
A chicken and an egg are in bed together...
After a couple minutes of awkward fumbling, the chicken sits up, turns the light on, and lights a cigarette. With obvious frustration, the egg says, "Well I guess that answers that question."
Little Johnny asked his teacher a question.
"If there were two doors where one of them led to unlimited money and the second one ked t**... a path guiding to knowledge, which one would you choose Mrs. P?"
Mrs. P: Obviously, the door with the knowledge.
Johnny: I would go for the door with unlimited money since one only wants something he doesn't have already.
A grandfather tells his grandchild one of his stories from WW2
Grandfather : "Our squad was once captured by the enemy, half of us were r**..., the other half got brutally killed."
Grandchild : "Which half were you part of grandpa' ?"
Grandfather : "Pfft, is that even a question ? Obviously the latter !"
An overweight criminal takes a lie detector test to prove his innocence.
This is the cops' last chance to prove his guilt.
They hook him up to the detector and tell him, "First we will ask you an obvious question and you must lie. If the machine registers your lie we will ask you about the crime and you will go to jail. If it does not you are free to leave."
"I understand." He says.
"Everyone in this room is fit except you. Do you think you are the lightest?" They ask.
He says, "Sir, I am closer to the lie test than any of you."
A professor gives his psychology class a pop quiz. . .
One question he asks is, "What part of the human anatomy may expand up to ten times under certain circumstances?" He picks a rather overdressed girl in the front row to answer it. "Miss Callahan!" The indicated girl, who heard the question, stammers with some embarrassment: "Professor, I'd rather not answer that question." The professor says, "That's all right, Miss Callahan, you don't need to answer it. Is there anyone present who can answer it?" He notes an interested face in the back of the classroom. "Mr. Hawkins!" Hawkins says, "Yes, Professor, it is the pupil of the eye that may expand to ten times." The professor says, "That is correct, Mr. Hawkins." Then he turns to Miss Callahan. He says, "Young lady, two things are obvious from your reaction to this question. One, you haven't studied this week's assignment; and Two, I'm afraid marriage is going to be a tremendous disappointment to you."
Ever since I was young, Grease has been my favourite movie.
I know all the songs by heart, know every line, I've even adopted the greaser look as my everyday fashion. Well, I started going out with this girl, Dawn, and things have been going pretty well. I decided I would show her my favourite movie. When it was over, I asked how she liked it, but she wasnt very impressed. Obviously taken aback, I questioned her as to why. Was it the songs? The writing? The mood? She said she couldn't explain it really, it just wasn't her thing......
I guess Dawn's just tough on Grease.
Three Valve employees walk into a bar
Three Valve employees walk into a bar and sit down in front of the bartender.
The first employee asked for a pint, and the bartender serves him one graciously.
The second employee asks for two pints, and again the bartender gives him what he wants without question.
The third employee asks for three pints, but this time the bartender doesn't give him what he wants, he only gives him two pints.
The poor lad looks at the bartender and asks him why he didn't get his third pint. The bartender looks at him and says, " You obviously don't work for Valve, they don't do anything more than two".
A zebra dies and goes to heaven.
Once there Saint Peter tells her she can ask God a single question. So she asks God "I've always wondered, am I white with black stripes or black with white stripes."
God responds, "You are what you are" and disappears.
She turns to Saint Peter clearly dissatisfied, "All these years I've waited only to not get an answer, what does that even mean? "
Saint Peter looks confused and replies "Well obviously it means you're white with black stripes"
"How" replies the zebra
"Well if you were black, he would have said 'You is what you is'"
Three Nuns die and go to heaven.
Three Nuns die and go to heaven, but in order to enter, they must prove their faith by answering one question each.
The first nun was asked "Who was the first man on earth?"
The nun replies "Obviously it was Adam"
The lights flicker, the bells ring and the gates open. The first nun walks through.
The second nun was asked "Who was the first woman on earth?"
"Easy" says the second nun "It was Eve"
The lights flicker, the bells ring and the gates open. The second nun walks through.
The third nun was then asked "What was the first thing Eve ever said to Adam?"
The nun, stumped by the question, says "Boy, that's a hard one."
The lights flicker, the bells ring and the gates open.
a soldier finds himself outside after night fall
A soldier finds himself outside his base of operations in a foreign country after night fall. He managed to find himself back at the main gate of entry but was unable to produce any physical evidence that he was in fact born and raised in the USA. The guard at the gate was not allowed to let anyone in who wasn't a citizen of the United States. The solider suggested that the guard ask him a few questions to prove in nationally. The guard then replied, "OK, sing the national anthem." The solider then sang the national anthem just as he has heard it at countless sporting events and county fairs. When he finished the guard said, "OK, now sing the second verse." The solider yelled, "I don't know the second verse!" to which the guard said,"you're obviously American, c'mon in."
A mathematician, an engineer, and a statistician are all interviewed for the same job...(my statistics teacher in college told the class this joke)
Each of them are brought into the bosses office individually and asked only one question.
The mathematician comes in and is asked "what is 2 + 2?" To which he answers "obviously it's 4"
The engineer is asked the same question. "Well it's hard to say for sure, I'd have to make a few calculations, draw up some graphs. Let me get back to you in about a week."
Finally, the statistician is brought in.
"What's 2 + 2?"
The statistician then casually closes all the blinds in the room and slyly asks "what do you *want* it to be?"
...Think Smart!
Little Timmy decides that he doesn't want to pay attention in class. The teacher, frustrated with Timmy asks him, "Timmy! If there are three ducks sitting on a fence, and you shoot one, how many ducks are left?"
Timmy says, "None, obviously!"
The teacher, puzzled, asks "Why none??"
Timmy says, "Duh! Because the shot scared them all off!"
The teacher politely says, "Well.. No, there are two left. But I like the way you're thinking!"
Then little Timmy decides he wants to ask the teacher a question. "Teacher, if you saw three women walking out of an ice cream parlor: One is l**... on her ice cream, one is s**... on her ice cream, and one is biting on her ice cream. Which one is most likely to be married?"
The teacher, entirely confused, asks "The one s**... on her ice cream?"
Little Timmy quickly says, "Nope! The one with the wedding ring! But I also like the way YOU'RE thinking! *wink*
The little boy runs up to his father and asks him, "Dad, what's s**...'?"
His father was obviously more than a little taken aback up this question, but he figures to himself that if his 4 year old is old enough to ask it then he deserves a proper explanation.
So he seats him down next to him and gives him the whole deal - drawings, pictures from the Internet on his phone, etc.
Meanwhile, the son appears to be getting more and more confused. Finally, when the father thinks he's done, he stops and asks, "All right, my boy. Now, do you have any questions?"
The son shakes his head hesitantly, still a little taken aback by all that he's been told.
"Oh by the way," the father continues. "Where'd you hear the word from?"
The son replies, "Mom said that dinner would be ready in a coupla secs."
Martians arrive on earth...
They're peaceful and happy and everyone loves them. Obviously humanity has tons of questions they'd like to ask them so the U.N. decides to arrange a conference. All the world leaders, public intellectuals and religious heads are in attendance to ask their most burning questions. Finally it is the pope's turn to ask a question...
"I was wondering...have you ever heard of our lord and savior Jesus Christ" the pope asks.
"Jesus? Yes of course! He stops by our planet every couple of years and we all have a big party" the aliens respond
The pope looks baffled and says "You must be mistaken...Jesus Christ was here about two thousand years ago but he left and we've been waiting for his return ever since...why would he visit you so often?"
"well..." they look at each other "...maybe your chocolate wasn't good" the aliens offer
"Pardon me?" the pope asks
"Well, when Jesus first showed up on our planet we gave him really great chocolate...what did you guys do?"
A Very Outdated But Still Funny Joke
A high-school teacher asks a girl in the class, "What part of the body enlarges to ten times its normal size during periods of excitement?"
The girl stammers and blushes and looks at the floor and says, "I don't want to answer that question."
So the teacher asks a boy, "Do you know the answer?"
The boys answers, "The pupil of the eye."
"That's right," says the teacher. Then he turns to the girl and says, "Two things are obvious. First, you didn't study your lesson last night. Second, you wedding night is going to be a terrible disappointment to you."
Bubba n' Buford II
One day Bubba n' Buford were drivin' down the Farm to Market road in their pickup drinkin' Lone Star longnecks n' chillin' out to Bob Wills "San Antonio Rose" n' low n' behold, they come over a hilltop and there's a DPS roadblock a stoppin' folks. Thinkin' quick, Bubba pulls over to the side a the road n' Buford says "What we gonna do, you get another DUI n' they gonna throw away the key n' I'm still on probation for that thing with the duck at the theater!" Suddenly Bubba gets a big smile n' says, "Here I got a idy...". Meanwhile the DPS knows these two good 'ol boys and watches carefully as they pull back onto the road n' ease up to the roadblock. As he looks in the drivers window there's Bubba n' Buford smilin' ear to ear with beer labels stuck to thier foreheads. With a serious look on his face he asks the obvious question, "You boys been drinkin'?" With a big innocent smile on his face Bubba says, "No sir. We're on the patch!"
A generic science major and an english literature major walk into a bar and are asked by a mutual friend how to best evaluate a book.
I just wrote a joke: A generic science major and an english literature major walk into a bar and are asked by a mutual friend how to best evaluate a book.
The generic science major takes a few moments to think, then says, "Well, I would read up on the history of the book, process the literature within a few months (well enough to formulate some questions to ask participants that are likely to assess the book's content, influence, and perceived influence), then test a few of the relevant questions that the lit. search analysis generates. In some kind of controlled setting, obviously. You?"
The english literature major takes a shot, then says, "Uhhh... first I'd read it."
Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of the math class...
Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name.
"Yeah teach?" he replies.
"If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a shotgun, how many are left?" asks the teacher.
Matt answers "Well, teach, if I shoot one of them with a shotgun, the loud noise is gonna make them all fly off."
"No, Matt, there will be two left if you shoot one with a shotgun, but I like the way you're thinking." the teacher responds.
"Well, teach, I've got a question for you... There are 3 women that come out of an ice-cream parlor, one is biting her ice-cream cone, one is l**... it, and one is s**... on it. Which one is married?"
The teacher, a little taken back by the question answers, "Well, uh, gee Matt, I guess the one that's s**... on the ice cream."
Matt replies "No teach, the one that has the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking!"
there were two kids in a sunday school...
there were two kids in a sunday school named adam and mary, adam was sitting directly behind mary and everytime mary raised her hand to answer a question, adam found it amusing to poke her in the back with his pencil.
"todays lesson we will be answering three questions and then you may leave" said the teacher. "first, heres an easy one. who did the v**... mary give birth to?" adam poked mary in the back with the pencil and she replied a little agrivated
"ahh! jesus!" the teacher was pleased with mary and asked the second question
"who is the ruler of everything?" again adam poked mary with his pencil and again she replied agrivatedly
"ahh! god!" the teacher obviously pleased with mary decided to ask a very hard question
"what did eve say to adam after they gave birth to their 100th child?" again adam pokes mary in the back with his pencil and she angrily turns around and snaps
"adam, if you stick that in me one more time, im gunna break it in half!!"