Obvious Jokes
147 obvious jokes and hilarious obvious puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about obvious that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Having a good laugh never gets old, and obvious jokes are no exception! From the obvious answer to an obvious question or the evidently hilarious joke about an obvious ostrich, find out why obvious jokes can be so much fun. Check out the humor of Scatman and the definite funniness of an obvious yes! Discover why obvious jokes are still so popular!
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Funniest Obvious Short Jokes
Short obvious jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The obvious humour may include short apparent jokes also.
- Bumblebees can fly higher than mount Everest Kinda obvious. Considering mount Everest can't fly
- The American education system obviously listen to Pink Floyd. They've left those kids a loan.
- It's obvious bill gates didn't create COVID none of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently
- This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious that she thought her cat could understand her.
I came to my house and told my dog. We laughed a lot. - I heard a statistic that there are more men named David in charge of companies than there are women. Well obviously. How many women do you know named David?
- I was at a restaurant and my waitress had a black eye So I ordered really slow, because she obviously doesn't listen
- The worst part about online dating is when the girl lists her weight as 115lbs, but when you're lifting her to put her in your trunk, she's obviously well over 140.
- How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two, obviously. How they got inside the lightbulb is the part I don't understand...
- My 5 year old son found videos meant for adults only... ...but he obviously couldn't understand the advanced calculus lectures from my university, so he stopped watching.
- My wife and I were out to dinner and the waitress started flirting with me. "She obviously has COVID," my wife said. "Why?" I asked. My wife replied with a sneer, "Because she has no taste."
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Obvious One Liners
Which obvious one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with obvious? I can suggest the ones about easy to guess and blatant.
- Do you know how to avoid clickbait? Obviously not
- What start with W, ends with T and has two letters in between. Just stating the obvious.
- What is Thanos favourite social media? Obviously snapchat
- I know The Little Mermaid's breast size. It's obvious. She's wearing C-shells.
- Just bought a book "Jokes about Captain Obvious". It's full of Captain Obvious jokes.
- Who would be worse than Captain obvious? Doctor Obvious
- Whose artwork is the best on sandwiches? Obviously Manet's
- Which race is the master race? PC, obviously.
- What's the worst school to drop out of? Obviously, flight school
- Why do people keep asking the value of X? It is obviously 10
- what is an cannibal octopus' favorite salad octopus salad. kind of obvious.
- My friend said he was a harp.. But he was obviously a lyre.
- Girls who say I can't commit... ...obviously haven't seem my Git repositories.
- What do you call a black person in space An astronaut, obviously
- i got an award for being humble. I obviously didnt accept it.
Obvious Answer Jokes
Here is a list of funny obvious answer jokes and even better obvious answer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Trump in his first speech after recovery from the coronavirus: "I wanna thank all of you for your prayers..." Makes me wonder why. They obviously weren't answered.
- If Jesus was a flower.... What kind would he be?
Answer: [self raising flour!](#s)
[(Obviously this joke is meant to be spoken aloud)](#s)
Obvious Yes Jokes
Here is a list of funny obvious yes jokes and even better obvious yes puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Any agoraphobes in the house tonight? (Obviously yes.)
- A wife dragged her husband to their marriage counselor appointment with his fishing net. "Do you see what I have to put up with," the wife says.
"Yes," said the counselor. "He's obviously in seine."
Obvious Question Jokes
Here is a list of funny obvious question jokes and even better obvious question puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I asked my Commander if he thought I could be Captain some day. He told me I ask the obvious questions.
- I was talking to a sedevacantist and he asked a very obvious question, I responded by saying "Is the pope Catholic?" His reply: "Not since 1962"
- What personal question is not obvious yet nobody has ever needed to ask anyone? Are you vegan?
- "Honey, am i the only one you are in love with?" "Obviously my dear, Can't understand why everyone keeps asking me that question"
Stating The Obvious Jokes
Here is a list of funny stating the obvious jokes and even better stating the obvious puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I was told to start at the bottom and make my way to the top. This "How To Use A Ladder" DVD likes to state the obvious.
- What do you call a man that states the obvious? A man that states the obvious
- My friends call me Captain Obvious It's because I state the obvious.
Laughable Obvious Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about obvious you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean see clearly jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make obvious pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does Batman call his teenage, tights wearing sidekick Robin?
cause s**... was too obvious.
King Arthur was in Merlin's laboratory where the good wizard was showing him his latest invention.
It was a chastity belt... except it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place.
'This is no good, Merlin!' the king exclaimed, 'Look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect m'lady, the Queen?'
'Ah, sire, just observe.' said Merlin as he searched his cluttered workbench until he found what he was looking for.
He then selected his most worn out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He then inserted it in the gaping aperture of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotine blade came down and cut it neatly in two. 'Merlin, you are a genius!' cried the grateful monarch, 'Now I can leave, knowing that my Queen is fully protected.'
After putting Guinevere in the device, King Arthur then set out upon his Quest. Several years passed until he returned to Camelot. Immediately he assembled all his knights in the courtyard and had them drop their trousers for an informal 'short arm' inspection.
Sure enough! Each and every one of them was either amputated or damaged in some way. All of them except Sir Galahad.
'Sir Galahad' exclaimed King Arthur, 'the one and only true knight! Only you among all the nobles have been true to me. What is it in my power to grant you? Name it and it is yours!'
But, alas, Sir Galahad was speechless..
So an oxygen molecule walks into a bar... [biochem joke]
and goes up to the bar and orders a drink. As the bartender hands the Oxygen it's drink he notices the small molecule petrified with fear. He notices this and quickly realizes hemoglobin sitting alone in a corner booth with an obvious attraction to oxygen. The bartender looks and says to Oxygen "Don't worry, he's totally heme-less".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A funny joke indeed
A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners.
At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door.
When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, Genesis 3:10."
Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.
Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock." Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid, for I was n**...."
Swordplay on words
A fencer was sparring with his mentor. They had sparred many times before, but today, for some reason, the fencer just wasn't able to land a single hit.
"Ha!" the mentor taunted, "You'll never win if you keep using such obvious attacks!"
The fencer feinted.
A man goes to audition for an anchor position at a local tv station
A man goes to the television station auditioning for an anchor position.
He sits down in front of the camera and begins, soon it is obvious that he has a terrible stutter, and hisleft eye continuously winks.
The producer says, "Thank you for your audition, we'll let you know."
The man says, "W-w-wait a moment, I c-c-can fix this."
He opens his breifcase, and about 200 condoms fall out, he digs deeper and pulls out a bottle of aspitin.
He take a single aspirin, and then re-reads his copy perfectly, his wink having vanished.
The producer is dumbfounded, and he says, "Thanks fantastic, but what's with the condoms?"
The man says, "This is what they give you if you stutter and wink and ask for aspirin at the pharmacy.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A grandfather and his grandson in the supermarket
A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved three-year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for candy in the candy aisle, cookies in the cookie aisle and for cereal and soda in the other aisles.
Meanwhile, Granddad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice: "Easy, William, we won't be long, easy, boy."
Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say: "It's OK, William, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy."
At the checkout, the little t**... is throwing items out of the cart, and Granddad says again in a controlled voice: "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, William."
Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. She says to the elderly gentleman: "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be OK. William is very lucky to have you as his grandpa."
"Thanks," said the grandfather, "but I'm William. The little s**...'s name is Kevin."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A pregnant lady is sitting at a bus stop...
A guy walks up and asks, "what are you expecting?"
The girl replies the obvious, "the bus."
The man turns to his friend and whispers, "dude, I think she s**... a transformer!"
Where do conspiracy theorists keep their ideas?
In a skeptic tank.
---
(Note: I just made up this joke earlier today. I'm not 100% sure the joke is obvious; feel free to suggest a better wording!)
Two Photons enter a bar.
Two Photons Finish their shift at their job, hop a cab and head to a bar.
They enter the bar and the bartender asks "Are you coming or leaving?" One of the photons replies "Isn't it obvious?"
The bartender replies "No, I'm colorblind.
Why did the popular kittens not want to hang out with the kitten with a prosthesis?
It was an obvious faux paw.
^Cr
My Girlfriend said she was going to leave me because of my obsession with pointing out obvious escape routes...
So I showed her the door.
Job at a Cadbury's factory ..
>I had a job putting fudge bars in to boxes. I had to quit though because every time someone would walk past they would say,
>"Oh packing fudge are we?"
>Or
>"Hey up, he's packing fudge again."
>Since then I've applied for a job in a clothing factory lifting boxes of shirts.
>I'm hoping the name calling will stop now.
TBH. I don't get the joke and it's annoying me. Can someone explain the obvious wordplay I'm missing??
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A black piece of tarmac is having a quiet drink at the pub...
...when the door bursts open and a red piece of tarmac comes storming in loud and aggressively.
The piece of black tarmac turns to the barman anxiously: *"Don't even think about serving him!"*
*"Why not?"*, the barman asks.
*"Isn't it obvious? He's a freaking cycle path!"*
Went to the psychiatrist because I was having bad dreams....
I told him I was having awful nightmares and he asked me to describe them.
"Well doc, the last week I dreamt I was a wigwam."
*Interesting, go on.*
"And this past Monday I dreamt I was a tepee."
*Oh, well I think it's quite obvious, you're too tents.*
Whats the most obvious feature shared by a leprechaun and a sober Irishman?
Neither exist.
(OC) I started stealing granite tops from peoples kitchens and replacing them with fakes...
I keep having troubles getting the counterfeit.
(Its probably been done before because the pun is so obvious but I haven't yet heard it.)
Newspapers are missing the obvious headline for Target's Canadian stores closing down...
TARGET MISSES THE MARK
a scallop fell in love with a clam...
and against everyone 's advice they got married. and six short months later sure enough they filed for divorce and went their separate ways. their problem was obvious to anyone who knew them. they were just two shellfish .
What's the most obvious name you can give a Panda?
Pan, duh!
Canine Names
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"Isn't it obvious?" the second blonde responded. "They're watch dogs!"
My dog keeps whimpering at her empty food bowl.
So I put her in another room. I'm not sure what that bowl did to her, but it's obvious it upset her.
I have an asian friend who always points out the obvious things
I call him obvious lee
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young woman learned that you can smoke in the rain if you make a hole in a c**... and put it over the cigarette.
She goes to a convenience store and asks a middle eastern clerk for a c**.... The guy looks at her with obvious disapproval, but does his job. He asks her what kind she wants and she answers,
I don't really care, as long as it fits the camel
I was on holiday in belgium...
Apparently it was obvious that I am German, because an elderly man came to me and said "you lost something ".
"What?" I asked surprised.
"The war" he replied.
What's the most obvious slang word in the Star Wars universe?
Yo, duh.
A Mexican and a Doctor both build a house.
The houses are exactly the same and stand right next to each other.
After they are done the Mexican tells the doctor: "My house is much more valuable than your house", to which the Doctor replies: "Why should your house be more valuable? They are exactly the same."
"Isn't that obvious? My house is next to a doctors house, while yours is next to a Mexicans house"
Some things are so obvious. You never see them come... let it be known...
You read it here.
What are the stragglers at the finish of Burning Man called?
Afterburners
Was it obvious?
Obvious media bias
Michelle Obama gives a speech when her husband is being nominated, and the media is generally positive. Melania Trump gives the exact same speech, and the media pretends it's some kind of scandal.
What do you call Bruce Lee's mom when she's making obvious statements?
A parent, Lee.
Clickbaits seem so obvious...
Just like this one.
Asked God his thoughts on assuming genders, his reply...
"Hmmm, I guess I should have made it more obvious"
Why is ink an unwise investment?
Because it's a dyeing industry.
- This is too obvious a joke to be original, but it came to me during my econ class, and so it's original to me!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Irish man arrested for domestic a**...
The man has been arrested on the same charge 5 times before.
"Why do you keep beating her p**...?" asked the police officer.
"Well isn't that obvious you idiot?
It is my height and weight advantage coupled with my superior reach and better footwork!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Englishmen are like bagpipes
Aside from the obvious similarity between bags of hot air, the Scottish enjoy having either in a choke hold, but have a history of blowing both.
Objectification joke
I'm against (obviously) objectification of women from the obvious reason that some objects actually have value.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why would Groot make a terrible spy?
Because he's an obvious plant.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
As he inserted the r**... thermometer [n**...]
As he inserted the r**... thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious e**...
"Maybe you should wait outside whilst I examine your dog," said the vet.
NASA has turned to Twitter for help in naming the seven recently discovered earth-sized exo-planets...
I could think of seven pretty obvious names if only they had been dwarf planets.
My wife has been keeping secrets from me.
I just built a fence and put down some paving. Turns out not only is she a master carpenter she's also an expert brick layer. If only I had known earlier I could have sought her advice before I did the work. It would have saved me from making all the obvious mistakes she pointed out after the work was done.
Hiding my kids easter eggs in more obvious spots this year.
Hope they can find the 20 eggs I left in the middle of the street.
My family and I were at a friend's house for a barbecue when it started to rain.
Our son commented, "The rain is wet."
My friend laughed and said, "Wow, talk about stating the obvious!"
"He's always doing that," my wife said. "I don't know who he gets it from..." she laughed, pointing in my direction.
After a few seconds, I turned to my friend and said, "He gets it from me."
Why are antijokes surprising to people?
Because they point out the obvious while the listeners are expecting a joke.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Life's been a bit weird lately.
A while back I showed up late to a dinner at my hot lesbian neighbours. They forgave me, and eventually we got chatting about my birthday. They asked me what I wanted for it. Answer was pretty obvious, I told them I wanted a watch. They giggled a bit, and eventually agreed.
I think they were just teasing me though, its been a week since my birthday and I still can't tell the time.
Seen two girls have s**... though.
What's with this "Han shot first" nonsense?
Its pretty obvious the camera shot both of them first
What are the vowels of classic rock?
C, S, N, (and sometimes Y)
I came up with this today, but it's too obvious in hindsight not to be an accidental repost.
I noticed a car following me on my drive home
I don't know why they thought they'd get away with it, the flashing lights made it really obvious.
I saw that show, "50 Things To Do Before You Die"...
I would have thought the most obvious one was "shout for help"
~ *Jimmy Carr*
Why is it obvious when a shark has an eating disorder?
You can sea it's way too fin.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I don't know why everyone's so surprised when people in Hollywood are found out to s**... offenders
It's pretty obvious who it is, it's always the usual suspects
Why do people ask if you got a haircut when it's completely obvious?
I've been on chemo for over a year now and you just noticed?!
What do you call a person who points out the obvious?
A person who points out the obvious.
A police officer comes across several vultures grouped together.
He gets closer to see what they're doing. It's obvious that they're eating a dead animal. The officer says, "sorry, carry on" and goes on his way.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Isn't it obvious that she's a mom?
It's ap-parent.
My friends started calling me captain obvious
But just so you know I'm not actually a captain, it's just a nickname.
I named my TV remote Waldo.
For obvious reasons.
Just saw the new infinity wars trailer today and to me, it was pretty obvious who's dying.
Well, so long, DC.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man goes on a date with a patent examiner.
Things are going well, so they go back to his place, and end up having s**....
Afterwards, the man asks his date, "So, do you want to do this again tomorrow?"
His date replies: "I will report that your technique, while novel, is obvious to one skilled in the art. Also I found some of your more extraordinary claims to be unsubstantiated."
Two men saw a stranger walking with a large knapsack across the plains of Italy in 500 C.E.
Man 1: Why is that man walking around aimlessly whilst carrying such a heavy load on his back?
Man 2: He is not from around here, he is a nomad
Man 1: How can you be so sure?
Man 2: Isn't it obvious? Just look at him, he has a purpose for walking. If was walking aimlessly, he'd just be Roman
Flat earthers are so close to the truth, but there are some obvious discrepancies . I've finally solved it...
Welcome to the Pringle Earth Society...and remember, once you see, you can't disagree.
"What should we call this thing in the ocena that is land?"
How about island?
"That seems too obvious"
What if we pronounced it weird
"Perfect"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A therapist should not help treat victims of r**....
"Why?"
"Isn't it obvious? It's in their name. They're the r**....
There are many already outstanding reasons not to leave one's automated cloning machine out in the forest...
...but the obvious bears repeating.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Met a one legged h**... today.
Her name was Eileen and it was obvious she was hopped up on something.
Mother, you're so sweet yet salty at the same time
Son, what on earth do you mean?
Well isn't it obvious? Umami
A tourist in London was throwing bread to some ducks in a pond...
when a local woman approached him looking rather upset. She asked him how he could throw bread in the water for ducks when there were starving children in Africa? Wasn't it obvious that they could use that bread more than the ducks?
The man stood there for a short moment and responded to the woman saying, "I'm sorry ma'am, but I can't throw that far."
What did Captain Obvious say as a baby cattle entered the room?
A door a bull
He was a moth... She was a lamp...
Can I make it any more obvious?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
We had student's contest for the best short story of the first s**... experience. The obvious winner was titled:
"Home Alone"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Our teacher got an obvious e**... in front of the class today...
The whole class witnessed the polarizing moment.
TIL that Britain was merciless in World War 2
It seemed pretty obvious afterwards. After all, their leader was already Winston.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I told my wife I wanted to name our unborn son Obvious.
She said, "That's a s**... name."
I said, "Now you're gestating the Obvious."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does it always take people so long to tell a c**... joke?
They're gestating the obvious!
