Obvious Jokes
149 obvious jokes and hilarious obvious puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about obvious that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Having a good laugh never gets old, and obvious jokes are no exception! From the obvious answer to an obvious question or the evidently hilarious joke about an obvious ostrich, find out why obvious jokes can be so much fun. Check out the humor of Scatman and the definite funniness of an obvious yes! Discover why obvious jokes are still so popular!
Quick Jump To
- Short Obvious Jokes
- Obvious One Liners
- Obvious Answer Jokes
- Obvious Yes Jokes
- Obvious Question Jokes
- Stating The Obvious Jokes
- More Obvious Jokes
Funniest Obvious Short Jokes
Short obvious jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The obvious humour may include short apparent jokes also.
- Studies show that atheists are more likely to own cats than Christians. Because owning Christians isn't legal, obviously.
- Bumblebees can fly higher than mount Everest Kinda obvious. Considering mount Everest can't fly
- How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a lightbulb? Obviously not 8, because its still dark in my basement.
- The American education system obviously listen to Pink Floyd. They've left those kids a loan.
- It's obvious bill gates didn't create COVID none of his other products are able to release new versions this frequently
- This morning I saw a neighbor talking to her cat. It was obvious that she thought her cat could understand her.
I came to my house and told my dog. We laughed a lot. - I heard a statistic that there are more men named David in charge of companies than there are women. Well obviously. How many women do you know named David?
- I was at a restaurant and my waitress had a black eye So I ordered really slow, because she obviously doesn't listen
- Why do we call the alien creating the pyramids a conspiracy theory? It's obviously a pyramid scheme.
- The worst part about online dating is when the girl lists her weight as 115lbs, but when you're lifting her to put her in your trunk, she's obviously well over 140.
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Obvious One Liners
Which obvious one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with obvious? I can suggest the ones about easy to guess and blatant.
- Do you know how to avoid clickbait? Obviously not
- What start with W, ends with T and has two letters in between. Just stating the obvious.
- Why are catholic priests adressed as "father"? "Daddy" would be too obvious.
- I bought a really nice 12 year old scotch obviously his parents weren't very pleased
- What is Thanos favourite social media? Obviously snapchat
- What does a Catholic do before a confession? He sins, obviously.
- It was obvious that Communism would fail. There were just so many red flags.
- I know The Little Mermaid's breast size. It's obvious. She's wearing C-shells.
- Why do priests have you call them Father.. Because 'Daddy' was too obvious
- Just bought a book "Jokes about Captain Obvious". It's full of Captain Obvious jokes.
- Jesus was obviously white. He even tastes like crackers!
- What's black and completely useless to society? Decaf coffee... obviously.
- Who would be worse than Captain obvious? Doctor Obvious
- Whose artwork is the best on sandwiches? Obviously Manet's
- Which race is the master race? PC, obviously.
Obvious Answer Jokes
Here is a list of funny obvious answer jokes and even better obvious answer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Trump in his first speech after recovery from the coronavirus: "I wanna thank all of you for your prayers..." Makes me wonder why. They obviously weren't answered.
- If Jesus was a flower.... What kind would he be?
Answer: [self raising flour!](#s)
[(Obviously this joke is meant to be spoken aloud)](#s) - Q: Why did Jordan Peterson cross the road? A: The answer isn't obvious. It's b**... serious. It's no joke, man.
Obvious Yes Jokes
Here is a list of funny obvious yes jokes and even better obvious yes puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Any agoraphobes in the house tonight? (Obviously yes.)
- A wife dragged her husband to their marriage counselor appointment with his fishing net. "Do you see what I have to put up with," the wife says.
"Yes," said the counselor. "He's obviously in seine."
Obvious Question Jokes
Here is a list of funny obvious question jokes and even better obvious question puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I asked my Commander if he thought I could be Captain some day. He told me I ask the obvious questions.
- I was talking to a sedevacantist and he asked a very obvious question, I responded by saying "Is the pope Catholic?" His reply: "Not since 1962"
- What personal question is not obvious yet nobody has ever needed to ask anyone? Are you vegan?
- "Honey, am i the only one you are in love with?" "Obviously my dear, Can't understand why everyone keeps asking me that question"
Stating The Obvious Jokes
Here is a list of funny stating the obvious jokes and even better stating the obvious puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call someone who always states the obvious? Someone who always states the obvious
- I was told to start at the bottom and make my way to the top. This "How To Use A Ladder" DVD likes to state the obvious.
- What do you call a man that states the obvious? A man that states the obvious
- My friends call me Captain Obvious It's because I state the obvious.
Laughable Obvious Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles
What funny jokes about obvious you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean see clearly jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make obvious pranks.
A chicken and an egg are in bed together...
After a couple minutes of awkward fumbling, the chicken sits up, turns the light on, and lights a cigarette. With obvious frustration, the egg says, "Well I guess that answers that question."
Why does Batman call his teenage, tights wearing sidekick Robin?
cause s**... was too obvious.
King Arthur was in Merlin's laboratory where the good wizard was showing him his latest invention.
It was a chastity belt... except it had a rather large hole in the most obvious place.
'This is no good, Merlin!' the king exclaimed, 'Look at this opening. How is this supposed to protect m'lady, the Queen?'
'Ah, sire, just observe.' said Merlin as he searched his cluttered workbench until he found what he was looking for.
He then selected his most worn out wand, one that he was going to discard anyway. He then inserted it in the gaping aperture of the chastity belt whereupon a small guillotine blade came down and cut it neatly in two. 'Merlin, you are a genius!' cried the grateful monarch, 'Now I can leave, knowing that my Queen is fully protected.'
After putting Guinevere in the device, King Arthur then set out upon his Quest. Several years passed until he returned to Camelot. Immediately he assembled all his knights in the courtyard and had them drop their trousers for an informal 'short arm' inspection.
Sure enough! Each and every one of them was either amputated or damaged in some way. All of them except Sir Galahad.
'Sir Galahad' exclaimed King Arthur, 'the one and only true knight! Only you among all the nobles have been true to me. What is it in my power to grant you? Name it and it is yours!'
But, alas, Sir Galahad was speechless..
So an oxygen molecule walks into a bar... [biochem joke]
and goes up to the bar and orders a drink. As the bartender hands the Oxygen it's drink he notices the small molecule petrified with fear. He notices this and quickly realizes hemoglobin sitting alone in a corner booth with an obvious attraction to oxygen. The bartender looks and says to Oxygen "Don't worry, he's totally heme-less".
A funny joke indeed
A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners.
At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door.
When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, Genesis 3:10."
Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.
Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock." Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid, for I was n**...."
Swordplay on words
A fencer was sparring with his mentor. They had sparred many times before, but today, for some reason, the fencer just wasn't able to land a single hit.
"Ha!" the mentor taunted, "You'll never win if you keep using such obvious attacks!"
The fencer feinted.
A man goes to audition for an anchor position at a local tv station
A man goes to the television station auditioning for an anchor position.
He sits down in front of the camera and begins, soon it is obvious that he has a terrible stutter, and hisleft eye continuously winks.
The producer says, "Thank you for your audition, we'll let you know."
The man says, "W-w-wait a moment, I c-c-can fix this."
He opens his breifcase, and about 200 condoms fall out, he digs deeper and pulls out a bottle of aspitin.
He take a single aspirin, and then re-reads his copy perfectly, his wink having vanished.
The producer is dumbfounded, and he says, "Thanks fantastic, but what's with the condoms?"
The man says, "This is what they give you if you stutter and wink and ask for aspirin at the pharmacy.
A grandfather and his grandson in the supermarket
A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved three-year-old grandson. It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for candy in the candy aisle, cookies in the cookie aisle and for cereal and soda in the other aisles.
Meanwhile, Granddad is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice: "Easy, William, we won't be long, easy, boy."
Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say: "It's OK, William, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in there, boy."
At the checkout, the little t**... is throwing items out of the cart, and Granddad says again in a controlled voice: "William, William, relax buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes; stay cool, William."
Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is loading his groceries and the boy into the car. She says to the elderly gentleman: "It's none of my business, but you were amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time, you kept your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just calmly kept saying things would be OK. William is very lucky to have you as his grandpa."
"Thanks," said the grandfather, "but I'm William. The little s**...'s name is Kevin."
A pregnant lady is sitting at a bus stop...
A guy walks up and asks, "what are you expecting?"
The girl replies the obvious, "the bus."
The man turns to his friend and whispers, "dude, I think she s**... a transformer!"
Where do conspiracy theorists keep their ideas?
In a skeptic tank.
---
(Note: I just made up this joke earlier today. I'm not 100% sure the joke is obvious; feel free to suggest a better wording!)
Two Photons enter a bar.
Two Photons Finish their shift at their job, hop a cab and head to a bar.
They enter the bar and the bartender asks "Are you coming or leaving?" One of the photons replies "Isn't it obvious?"
The bartender replies "No, I'm colorblind.
Why did the popular kittens not want to hang out with the kitten with a prosthesis?
It was an obvious faux paw.
^Cr
Two marines are flying into an unfamiliar airport
The put the flaps up and descend lower, lower, lower and finally touch down. The brakes of the plane screeches and howl unlike anything you've ever heard. The plane comes to a stop just inches from the terminal. The pilot exlaims "that's the shortest d**... runway I've ever seen". The co-pilot looks to the left, then looks to the right and says "Yea, but it sure is wide"
My Girlfriend said she was going to leave me because of my obsession with pointing out obvious escape routes...
So I showed her the door.
Job at a Cadbury's factory ..
>I had a job putting fudge bars in to boxes. I had to quit though because every time someone would walk past they would say,
>"Oh packing fudge are we?"
>Or
>"Hey up, he's packing fudge again."
>Since then I've applied for a job in a clothing factory lifting boxes of shirts.
>I'm hoping the name calling will stop now.
TBH. I don't get the joke and it's annoying me. Can someone explain the obvious wordplay I'm missing??
Michelle
On Halloween, a man shows up to his friend's costume party in the n**... carrying a woman on his back. His friend answers the door and shockingly asks, "what are you supposed to be?!"
The man says, "I'm a snail."
With an obvious look of disdain on his face, his friend asks, "well, who is she?"
The man answers, "Michelle."
Whats the most obvious feature shared by a leprechaun and a sober Irishman?
Neither exist.
(OC) I started stealing granite tops from peoples kitchens and replacing them with fakes...
I keep having troubles getting the counterfeit.
(Its probably been done before because the pun is so obvious but I haven't yet heard it.)
As he inserted the r**... thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious e**....
"Maybe you should wait outside whilst I examine your dog," said the vet.
Vampire limerick
A tad less obvious than most.........
There was a young vampire called Mable,
who's periods were very stable.
Every full moon she would get out a spoon ,
and drink herself under the table.
a scallop fell in love with a clam...
and against everyone 's advice they got married. and six short months later sure enough they filed for divorce and went their separate ways. their problem was obvious to anyone who knew them. they were just two shellfish .
As he inserted the r**... thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious e**....
As he inserted the r**... thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious e**....
"Maybe you should wait outside while I examine your dog," said the vet.
Canine Names
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"Isn't it obvious?" the second blonde responded. "They're watch dogs!"
My dog keeps whimpering at her empty food bowl.
So I put her in another room. I'm not sure what that bowl did to her, but it's obvious it upset her.
I have an asian friend who always points out the obvious things
I call him obvious lee
A young woman learned that you can smoke in the rain if you make a hole in a c**... and put it over the cigarette.
She goes to a convenience store and asks a middle eastern clerk for a c**.... The guy looks at her with obvious disapproval, but does his job. He asks her what kind she wants and she answers,
I don't really care, as long as it fits the camel
I was on holiday in Belgium...
Apparently it was obvious that I am German, because an elderly man came to me and said "you lost something ".
"What?" I asked surprised.
"The war" he replied.
I was at my bank today and there was just an Asian lady ahead of me
who was trying to exchange yen for dollars.
It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations."
The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too!!"
A Mexican and a Doctor both build a house.
The houses are exactly the same and stand right next to each other.
After they are done the Mexican tells the doctor: "My house is much more valuable than your house", to which the Doctor replies: "Why should your house be more valuable? They are exactly the same."
"Isn't that obvious? My house is next to a doctors house, while yours is next to a Mexicans house"
Obvious media bias
Michelle Obama gives a speech when her husband is being nominated, and the media is generally positive. Melania Trump gives the exact same speech, and the media pretends it's some kind of scandal.
So I was at my bank today.
There was a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yuan for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated.
She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hundred dollar for yuan. Today I only get hundred eighty? Why it change?"
The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations.
The Asian lady says, "Fluck you white people too!"
Clickbaits seem so obvious...
Just like this one.
Why is ink an unwise investment?
Because it's a dyeing industry.
- This is too obvious a joke to be original, but it came to me during my econ class, and so it's original to me!
Irish man arrested for domestic a**...
The man has been arrested on the same charge 5 times before.
"Why do you keep beating her p**...?" asked the police officer.
"Well isn't that obvious you idiot?
It is my height and weight advantage coupled with my superior reach and better footwork!"
Why would Groot make a terrible spy?
Because he's an obvious plant.
As he inserted the r**... thermometer [n**...]
As he inserted the r**... thermometer, I got a painfully hard and obvious e**...
"Maybe you should wait outside whilst I examine your dog," said the vet.
My wife has been keeping secrets from me.
I just built a fence and put down some paving. Turns out not only is she a master carpenter she's also an expert brick layer. If only I had known earlier I could have sought her advice before I did the work. It would have saved me from making all the obvious mistakes she pointed out after the work was done.
My family and I were at a friend's house for a barbecue when it started to rain.
Our son commented, "The rain is wet."
My friend laughed and said, "Wow, talk about stating the obvious!"
"He's always doing that," my wife said. "I don't know who he gets it from..." she laughed, pointing in my direction.
After a few seconds, I turned to my friend and said, "He gets it from me."
I remember my mum tucking me in when I was younger
in hindsight she made it pretty obvious she wanted a girl.
Why are antijokes surprising to people?
Because they point out the obvious while the listeners are expecting a joke.
Life's been a bit weird lately.
A while back I showed up late to a dinner at my hot lesbian neighbours. They forgave me, and eventually we got chatting about my birthday. They asked me what I wanted for it. Answer was pretty obvious, I told them I wanted a watch. They giggled a bit, and eventually agreed.
I think they were just teasing me though, its been a week since my birthday and I still can't tell the time.
Seen two girls have s**... though.
What's with this "Han shot first" nonsense?
Its pretty obvious the camera shot both of them first
Were you born on September?
If so, it's pretty obvious your parents started their New Year with a bang ;)
I noticed a car following me on my drive home
I don't know why they thought they'd get away with it, the flashing lights made it really obvious.
I saw that show, "50 Things To Do Before You Die"...
I would have thought the most obvious one was "shout for help"
~ *Jimmy Carr*
Studying engineering in school is like World War 2.
The objective is clear, there's an obvious enemy, and everyone is fighting for the same cause.
Interviewing to get an engineering job is like Vietnam. Everybody tells you a different objective, you're not properly equipped for the environment, and the Asians are always one step ahead.
Why do you call a priest Father?
Because it'd be too obvious if you called him daddy.
Why is it obvious when a shark has an eating disorder?
You can sea it's way too fin.
Why do people ask if you got a haircut when it's completely obvious?
I've been on chemo for over a year now and you just noticed?!
What do you call a person who points out the obvious?
A person who points out the obvious.
A police officer comes across several vultures grouped together.
He gets closer to see what they're doing. It's obvious that they're eating a dead animal. The officer says, "sorry, carry on" and goes on his way.
Isn't it obvious that she's a mom?
It's ap-parent.
My friends started calling me captain obvious
But just so you know I'm not actually a captain, it's just a nickname.
I named my TV remote Waldo.
For obvious reasons.
Just saw the new infinity wars trailer today and to me, it was pretty obvious who's dying.
Well, so long, DC.
A man goes on a date with a patent examiner.
Things are going well, so they go back to his place, and end up having s**....
Afterwards, the man asks his date, "So, do you want to do this again tomorrow?"
His date replies: "I will report that your technique, while novel, is obvious to one skilled in the art. Also I found some of your more extraordinary claims to be unsubstantiated."
Elevator confusion
A blonde and a brunette are on an elevator together and it stops to let a man on. The man is wearing a business suit and has obvious dandruff flakes on both shoulders. He says hello and gets out on the next floor. The women continues to ride in awkward silence when the brunette speaks up. She says, "Someone needs to give that guy some head and shoulders."
The blonde looks confused and replies. "How do you give a guy shoulders?"
Two men saw a stranger walking with a large knapsack across the plains of Italy in 500 C.E.
Man 1: Why is that man walking around aimlessly whilst carrying such a heavy load on his back?
Man 2: He is not from around here, he is a nomad
Man 1: How can you be so sure?
Man 2: Isn't it obvious? Just look at him, he has a purpose for walking. If was walking aimlessly, he'd just be Roman
Why are Catholic priests always referred to as "father"?
Because "daddy" would make it too obvious...
Flat earthers are so close to the truth, but there are some obvious discrepancies . I've finally solved it...
Welcome to the Pringle Earth Society...and remember, once you see, you can't disagree.
"What should we call this thing in the ocena that is land?"
How about island?
"That seems too obvious"
What if we pronounced it weird
"Perfect"
There are many already outstanding reasons not to leave one's automated cloning machine out in the forest...
...but the obvious bears repeating.
A Chinese couple adopt a white baby...
A Chinese couple adopt a white baby.
Although it's obvious, everywhere they go, someone inevitably asks them if they adopted their child.
What? Of course we did! They'd say... Don't you know two Wongs don't make a white?
A tourist in London was throwing bread to some ducks in a pond...
when a local woman approached him looking rather upset. She asked him how he could throw bread in the water for ducks when there were starving children in Africa? Wasn't it obvious that they could use that bread more than the ducks?
The man stood there for a short moment and responded to the woman saying, "I'm sorry ma'am, but I can't throw that far."
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
Not, not "Argh." Too obvious.
Not the "C" either. Everyone has heard that one.
"Without a P he's irate hahahahaha!" Blah blah blah. Nope.
Give up?
A letter of marque. It makes his profession semi legitimate, provides for a legal way to store his wealth in his homeland, and allows him to attain social prestige far above his station if successful enough.
Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.
Art thief.
Recently a guy in Paris nearly got away with stealing several paintings from the Louvre. However, after planning the crime, breaking in, evading security, getting out and escaping with the goods, he was captured only two blocks away when his Econoline van ran out of gas.
When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied:
"I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."
So there was a police officer and his police dog...
The officer called the dog Joke, as it made him laugh always. Regardless, he loved the dog. However, one day the dog was demoted and reassigned to another Buddhist officer who wanted a dog to help him abstain from material things. The first officer was, of course upset. One of his friends he worked with asked what was wrong, and the first officer said, Well, it should be obvious. My Joke's been reposted for more karma!
One blond to another: which is further away, London or the moon? The other: helloo isn't it obvious?
You can't even see London from here
A priest, scientist and rabbi are discussing when life begins.
The priest says the answer is obvious, it begins at conception as decreed by God.
The scientist says no it begins at birth as at that point it can live outside of it's mother.
The rabbi says you are both wrong. It starts when the dog dies and the kids move out.
What's a sharks least favourite name?
Ned
___
So I have my Alexa set up to tell me joke when I say goodnight, last night it told me that joke...and I can't work it out?! I have searched for it online, and other people have searched for it but no one has seemed to find out what it means.
Am I being s**... and missing something obvious? Did I have a half asleep fever-dream and imagine this non-joke?
Why do navy ships carries Marines?
Because sheep would be to obvious.
A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners
At one house it seemed obvious that someone was home but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took at a card and wrote Revelations 3:20 on the back of it and stuck it to the door.
When the offering was taken the following Sunday, the pastor found his card had been returned. Along with the verse he had written, he found another cryptic message: Genesis 3:10 .
When he checked his Bible to discover what this could mean, the pastor began to chuckle.
Revelations 3:20 reads behold, I stand at the door and knock . Genesis 3:10 says, I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid, for I was n**....
An Asian, an American, and a European walk into a bar.
They sit down at the table, and decide to hit up some drinks.
American: I'll have a Coke! I don't want to get drunk.
European: I'll have a watery r**...! I'll stay up for the drive.
Asian: I'll have 3 bottles beer, and a side of whiskey!
The American and the European are astonished!! The European asks the Asian why he ordered all of that alcohol.
Asian: Isn't it obvious? You guys won't let me drive anyway.
