Obvious Answer Jokes
40 obvious answer jokes and hilarious obvious answer puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about obvious answer that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Obvious Answer Short Jokes
Short obvious answer jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The obvious answer humour may include short obvious question jokes also.
- Trump in his first speech after recovery from the coronavirus: "I wanna thank all of you for your prayers..." Makes me wonder why. They obviously weren't answered.
- If Jesus was a flower.... What kind would he be?
Answer: [self raising flour!](#s)
[(Obviously this joke is meant to be spoken aloud)](#s) - Q: Why did Jordan Peterson cross the road? A: The answer isn't obvious. It's b**... serious. It's no joke, man.
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Obvious Answer Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about obvious answer you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean stating the obvious jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make obvious answer pranks.
A guy goes into a bar and sits down next to a guy who's obviously been drinking for a while.
The drunk gets up from his stool to go to the bathroom and falls down 3 times.
The guy says to himself "I'll help this guy get home safely" and helps him out to his car
The guy falls down five more times.
He drives him up to the address on his license, takes him up to the door.
The guy falls down 8 times on the way...and rings the bell.
A lady answers the door and says "Oh how nice, you brought home Harry. But what did you do with his wheelchair?"
A chicken and an egg are in bed together...
After a couple minutes of awkward fumbling, the chicken sits up, turns the light on, and lights a cigarette. With obvious frustration, the egg says, "Well I guess that answers that question."
Little Tommy gets asked to stay after class...
so little boy tommy isnt very good at math so his teacher kindly asks him to stay after class so she can help him.He agrees and listens to the teacher as she gives an example.She starts off by saying that if there are 10 birds on a telephone pole and you shoot one off, how many are left? he quickly answers "none". she says "no tommy, there would be 9". he then looks at her and says "thats impossible, obviously if you shoot one off, they would all fly away". she tells him that she likes the way he thinks. he follows up by saying "can i ask you a question miss, if there are 3 ladies holding a lollipop, 1 s**... it, 1 l**... it, and 1 biting it...which one is married? the teacher quickly replies with "the one s**... it". he looks at her and says "no, the one with the ring on her finger, **but** i like the way you think
Inspiration.
A priest sees a young man walk into his church. He's downtrodden, shabby-looking, obviously in distress.
"My son, what's troubling you?"
"Oh, Father, I'm at my wit's end. I got fired, the bills are piling up, my credit cards are maxed out, I'm about to lose everything. I don't know what to do!"
"Take heart, my son" the priest says. "All shall be well in the fullness of time. Go to a nice, quiet park, where you can be at one with nature. Set your bible on a table, contemplate your trials and tribulations, and wait for the wind to flip the pages of your good book. Read what it says there, and you shall find your inspiration."
The man leaves, and the priest does not see him for several weeks. Then one day, the young man pulls up to the church driving a new Porsche, wearing an expensive Italian designer suit, obviously on top of the world.
"My goodness, son, you've certainly turned your life around!"
"Yes, Father, and I owe it all to you! I did what you said-when I looked at my bible, I knew I had found the answer!"
"That's wonderful, son. But if I may ask, what was it that you read?"
"Chapter 13."
Need a push
A few months ago, in the middle of the night my doorbell rings. I schlep down the stairs and open the door to find some guy there who was obviously drunk. He says to me "can you give me a push"? Of course, being the people person that I am, I said "Dude, it's 3:00am, and it's raining".
So I slammed the door in his face and went back up the stairs. My wife asked who it was and I told her. She scolded me, saying "don't you remember that time we broke down and someone helped us? You need to get down those stairs and help that poor man."
I opened the front door and didn't see him, so I called out "Hey, are you still here"? I heard him answer "yes". So I called out "do you still need a push"? He answered "yes". I called out "Where are you?"
He said "Over here. On the swing."
there were two kids in a sunday school...
there were two kids in a sunday school named adam and mary, adam was sitting directly behind mary and everytime mary raised her hand to answer a question, adam found it amusing to poke her in the back with his pencil.
"todays lesson we will be answering three questions and then you may leave" said the teacher. "first, heres an easy one. who did the v**... mary give birth to?" adam poked mary in the back with the pencil and she replied a little agrivated
"ahh! jesus!" the teacher was pleased with mary and asked the second question
"who is the ruler of everything?" again adam poked mary with his pencil and again she replied agrivatedly
"ahh! god!" the teacher obviously pleased with mary decided to ask a very hard question
"what did eve say to adam after they gave birth to their 100th child?" again adam pokes mary in the back with his pencil and she angrily turns around and snaps
"adam, if you stick that in me one more time, im gunna break it in half!!"
Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of the math class...
Dirty Little Matt is sitting in the back of math class, obviously not paying any attention, when the teacher calls his name.
"Yeah teach?" he replies.
"If there are three ducks on a fence and you shoot one of them with a shotgun, how many are left?" asks the teacher.
Matt answers "Well, teach, if I shoot one of them with a shotgun, the loud noise is gonna make them all fly off."
"No, Matt, there will be two left if you shoot one with a shotgun, but I like the way you're thinking." the teacher responds.
"Well, teach, I've got a question for you... There are 3 women that come out of an ice-cream parlor, one is biting her ice-cream cone, one is l**... it, and one is s**... on it. Which one is married?"
The teacher, a little taken back by the question answers, "Well, uh, gee Matt, I guess the one that's s**... on the ice cream."
Matt replies "No teach, the one that has the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking!"
Gay Joke
John went to the bar, where he got chatting with another customer, his name was Adrian.
Adrian explained to John that he was a professor of Logic. John had never heard of this before so he asked for an explanation.
Well, said Adrian??Let me give you an example. Do you own a lawn mower?"
"I do," answered John.
Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a garden.â?? replied the professor. The professor continued: "Logic will also tell me that since you have a garden, you also have a house."
Impressed, John said, "Blimey your right!!"
"And since you own a house and a house is tough to take care of by yourself, logic dictates that you have a wife."
This is incredible!" said John (John is obviously catching on.)
"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual rather than homosexual" said the professor.
"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinating
thing I ever heard. I can't wait to find out more about this logic lark."
John, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back to the table where Jim was sitting.
"So what were talking about?" Jim asked.
"Logic," replies John.
"What way, do you mean logic?"
"Let me give you an example. Do you own a lawn mower?"
"No."
"Well you're gay, then arent you?"
"Dog Sitting"
A dog lover, whose dog was a female and in heat, agreed to look after her neighbors male dog while the neighbors were on vacation. She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds. She rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together, in obvious pain and unable to disengage, as frequently happens when dogs mate.
Unable to separate them and perplexed as to what to do next, she called the veterinarian. Although it was late, he answered in a very grumpy voice. After having explained the problem to him, the vet said "Hang up the phone and place it alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise from the ringing will make the male dog lose his e**... and he will be able to withdraw."
"Do you think that will work?" she asked.
"Well, it just worked for me." he replied.
A funny joke indeed
A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners.
At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door.
When the offering was processed the following Sunday, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic message, Genesis 3:10."
Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he broke up in gales of laughter.
Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock." Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid, for I was n**...."
Dog sitting
A dog lover, whose dog was a female and in heat, agreed to look after her neighbours' male dog while the neighbours were on vacation.
She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart.
However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds.
She rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together in obvious pain and unable to disengage, as so frequently happens when dogs mate.
Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was late, she called the vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice.
After she explained the problem to him, the vet said,
"Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs."
"I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his e**... and he will be able to withdraw."
"Do you think that will work?" she asked.
"It just worked for me," he replied.
A knock at the door
Every day, Jim gets two six packs on the way home from work. When he gets home, he sits in his living room until they're gone. One day, just as he's getting to the end of the last beer, he hears a knock at the door. He goes to answer it, and sees a six foot tall grasshopper. Before he can say a word, the grasshopper punches him in the face as hard as he's ever been hit! Floored, he can't respond before the grasshopper leaves.
He decides he'd better be in better shape, so the next day he only gets one six pack. Just as he's finishing the last beer, he hears another knock at the door. He gets up to answer it, a bit more wary this time. Not that it does him any good. The six foot tall grasshopper is there again, and this time hits him *twice*, each one as hard as he's ever been hit! Again, the grasshopper leaves before he can do anything.
On the third day, he decides he'd better just skip his beer. He's sitting in his living room, stone cold sober, when he hears a knock at the door. He checks his peephole. It's the grasshopper. But he figures this time he hasn't been drinking and he can take him, so he opens the door. Before he can do anything, the grasshopper knocks him down and kicks him until he can't move. Again, the grasshopper leaves when it's done.
Obviously he's in bad shape after that, so he goes in to see his doctor. He describes what's been going on. The doctor nods knowingly, "Yeah, there's been a pretty n**... bug going around."
It's Obvious...
So two mathematicians meet in the corridor of their building and one asks the other "so what are you working on?" The second mathematician replies "I've been working on this interesting proof, come into the lounge and I'll show you".
The two go into the faculty lounge and the guy starts to work out his new proof. After chugging along for about 15 minutes, he turns to the ~~first~~ second guy and says "so here, you'll see that the answer is therefore obvious". The first guy stares at it for quite while. He makes a few notes on the side of the board, then stares some more. He scribbles more and stares more.
The first guy eventually shrugs and goes home. The first guy keeps working well past midnight. He finally goes home and collapses in bed, but is clearly obsessed with the problem. Over the next few days, he keeps working on it in his every spare moment. He fills the white board in his office, the one he has mounted in the garage at home and he even fills the old blackboard in the abandoned classroom in the old lab. Finally, one day he jumps up, punches his fist in the air and screams "Eureka!" at the top of his lungs. He runs down the corridor, into the classroom where the other mathematician is holding a seminar and yells out:
"You're right, it's obvious!"
Eit: Corrected idiot typo...
Late Night Phone Call To The Vet
A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "in heat', agreed to look after her neighbor`s male dog
while the neighbors were on vacation.
She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart.
However, as she was drifting off to sleep she heard awful howling and moaning sounds,
rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together, in obvious pain and unable to disengage,
as so frequently happens when dogs mate.
Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, although it was late, she called the vet,
who answered in a very grumpy voice.
Having explained the problem to him, the vet said,
"Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs.
I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his e**...
and he will be able to withdraw."
"Do you think that will work?" she asked.
"Just worked on me," he replied.
A professor gives his psychology class a pop quiz. . .
One question he asks is, "What part of the human anatomy may expand up to ten times under certain circumstances?" He picks a rather overdressed girl in the front row to answer it. "Miss Callahan!" The indicated girl, who heard the question, stammers with some embarrassment: "Professor, I'd rather not answer that question." The professor says, "That's all right, Miss Callahan, you don't need to answer it. Is there anyone present who can answer it?" He notes an interested face in the back of the classroom. "Mr. Hawkins!" Hawkins says, "Yes, Professor, it is the pupil of the eye that may expand to ten times." The professor says, "That is correct, Mr. Hawkins." Then he turns to Miss Callahan. He says, "Young lady, two things are obvious from your reaction to this question. One, you haven't studied this week's assignment; and Two, I'm afraid marriage is going to be a tremendous disappointment to you."
Mixed Signals
Ben is sitting at home reading a magazine or something, I dunno, and his phone rings. He answers, "Hey, who's this?"
"Sup, Ben. It's Frank," is the reply.
B: "Hey, what's up, man?"
F: "Listen, I need some relationship advice. Can you help me?"
B: "Sure."
F: "Cool, thanks. Anyway, I've been seeing this girl lately. I'm really starting to like her, but I don't know what she's thinking. She's giving me mixed signals."
B: "How so?"
F: "Well, she said that she 'loved me like a brother.'"
B: "That seems pretty clear to me. She obviously just doesn't have a romantic attraction to you."
F: "Yeah, well that's the thing: she's from Kentucky."
Hopefully this translates well into English..
A man is sitting on a park bench reading a book called "Logic" and another man walking past sits down beside him and asks what logic means..
The man reading the book asks, "Well, do you have an aquarium at home?"
"Yes! I do!"
"So I'm guessing you have fish in your aquarium?"
"I do!"
"And if you have fish in your aquarium, I'm guessing you like animals..?"
"Yes, I like animals!"
"And if you like animals, I would say you like people as well?"
"Yes, I like I people.."
"And if you like people, I guess you like women too?"
"Oh yes, I LOVE women!"
"Well there you go, that's what logic is!"
The man contemplates the answer he received and is satisfied with it and is about to get up to leave, when he asks: "What would've happened if I said that I didn't have an aquarium at home?"
The man on the bench thinks to himself for a minute and answers, "Well, you would've obviously been gay then".
Michelle
On Halloween, a man shows up to his friend's costume party in the n**... carrying a woman on his back. His friend answers the door and shockingly asks, "what are you supposed to be?!"
The man says, "I'm a snail."
With an obvious look of disdain on his face, his friend asks, "well, who is she?"
The man answers, "Michelle."
A new bishop was visiting the homes in the ward
At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door.
Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote "revelation 3:20" on the back of the card and stuck it in the door.
The following Sunday he found that his card had been returned under his office door. Added to it was this cryptic message, "Genesis 3:10."
Reaching for his Bible to check out the verse, he broke up in gales of laughter.
Edit, jokes are hard when i am drinking
A Very Outdated But Still Funny Joke
A high-school teacher asks a girl in the class, "What part of the body enlarges to ten times its normal size during periods of excitement?"
The girl stammers and blushes and looks at the floor and says, "I don't want to answer that question."
So the teacher asks a boy, "Do you know the answer?"
The boys answers, "The pupil of the eye."
"That's right," says the teacher. Then he turns to the girl and says, "Two things are obvious. First, you didn't study your lesson last night. Second, you wedding night is going to be a terrible disappointment to you."
Does anyone know the answer to the riddle that asks, "Is is colder on the farm or in the Winter? Which is longer, a rope?"
Does anyone know the answer to the riddle that asks, "Is is colder on the farm or in the Winter? Which is longer, a rope?" I have been trying to get this for the last month or so. There are a ton of clues that I can give for it, but I still can't come up with the right answer. I think it's one of those anti-joke riddles where the answer is something so obvious it lacks a c**....
A boss had a sudden dilemma...
...as due to the company's restructuring, he has to fire one of two employees, Karen or Jack. Both are excellent workers and are perfect for the job, but the position was deemed redundant and only one should stay.
While out for lunch, he decided to confide with his office friend, "Look, I can't really decide on this matter. What do you think: should I take Karen or j**...?"
His friend replied, "Well, kidnapping is a crime and m**...'s not. I think the answer's obvious."
A mathematician, an engineer, and a statistician are all interviewed for the same job...(my statistics teacher in college told the class this joke)
Each of them are brought into the bosses office individually and asked only one question.
The mathematician comes in and is asked "what is 2 + 2?" To which he answers "obviously it's 4"
The engineer is asked the same question. "Well it's hard to say for sure, I'd have to make a few calculations, draw up some graphs. Let me get back to you in about a week."
Finally, the statistician is brought in.
"What's 2 + 2?"
The statistician then casually closes all the blinds in the room and slyly asks "what do you *want* it to be?"
A young woman learned that you can smoke in the rain if you make a hole in a c**... and put it over the cigarette.
She goes to a convenience store and asks a middle eastern clerk for a c**.... The guy looks at her with obvious disapproval, but does his job. He asks her what kind she wants and she answers,
I don't really care, as long as it fits the camel
Three Nuns die and go to heaven.
Three Nuns die and go to heaven, but in order to enter, they must prove their faith by answering one question each.
The first nun was asked "Who was the first man on earth?"
The nun replies "Obviously it was Adam"
The lights flicker, the bells ring and the gates open. The first nun walks through.
The second nun was asked "Who was the first woman on earth?"
"Easy" says the second nun "It was Eve"
The lights flicker, the bells ring and the gates open. The second nun walks through.
The third nun was then asked "What was the first thing Eve ever said to Adam?"
The nun, stumped by the question, says "Boy, that's a hard one."
The lights flicker, the bells ring and the gates open.
My Mommy, the Dancer
One day a fourth-grade teacher asked the children in her class what their mothers did for a living.
All the typical answers came up -- teacher, nurse, businesswoman, saleswoman, doctor, lawyer, and so forth.
However, little Johnny was being uncharacteristically quiet, So when the teacher gently prodded him about his mother, He replied, "Well my mother's an exotic dancer in a club and takes off all her clothes in front of men, and they put money in her underwear. Sometimes, if the offer is really good, she will go home with some guy and stay with him all night for money."
The teacher, obviously shaken by this bold statement, hurriedly set the other children to work on some exercises and then took little Johnny aside to quietly ask him, "Is that really true about your mother, dear?"
Nope," the boy said, "She works for the Democratic National Committee and is helping to get Hillary Clinton to be our next President, but I was too embarrassed to say that In front of the other kids."
A zebra dies and goes to heaven.
Once there Saint Peter tells her she can ask God a single question. So she asks God "I've always wondered, am I white with black stripes or black with white stripes."
God responds, "You are what you are" and disappears.
She turns to Saint Peter clearly dissatisfied, "All these years I've waited only to not get an answer, what does that even mean? "
Saint Peter looks confused and replies "Well obviously it means you're white with black stripes"
"How" replies the zebra
"Well if you were black, he would have said 'You is what you is'"
A guy walks into a bar...
...and tells the bartender "Give me anything but a Budweiser." So the bartender hands him a beer, the man drinks it, and leaves.
Next day, man comes in and says "Give me anything but a Budweiser." Bartender gives him a beer, the man drinks it, and leaves.
Next day, he comes back with the same request. The bartender is obviously very curious at this points. So he asks "What is the problem with Budweiser?"
The man answers "Well, I once drank 20 Budweisers, went home, and blew chunks."
The bartender laughs and says "That would happen to anyone after drinking 20 of any beer."
The man looks around sheepishly and whispers "Chunks is my dog's name."
A pregnant woman calls her husband...
A 9 months pregnant woman wakes up in the middle of the night. She can't find her husband, so she calls him on the phone.
The husband picks up.
"Honey, where are you ?" asks the woman, worriedly.
Husband answers (obviously drunk) : "Heeeyyyy babe !! I'm at the cluub with some fellas ! OOOHHH my man Jim just got oursevles a 3rd bottle of v**... !"
The wife is sweating, she takes a deep breath and says "honey, I'm in pain, I think our baby is coming."
Sobering up, the husband replies "But darling, I don't think the bouncer is gonna let him in."
Life's been a bit weird lately.
A while back I showed up late to a dinner at my hot lesbian neighbours. They forgave me, and eventually we got chatting about my birthday. They asked me what I wanted for it. Answer was pretty obvious, I told them I wanted a watch. They giggled a bit, and eventually agreed.
I think they were just teasing me though, its been a week since my birthday and I still can't tell the time.
Seen two girls have s**... though.
Ghandi was a what?
So we all know how Ghandi was a wonderful person and a pioneer in the non violent protest movement. But there are some facets of his life that add up to a very rare diagnosis.
First of all, he walked everywhere barefoot which made his feet very tough.
Secondly his diet was completely void of calcium sources which led to osteoporosis.
He was also a very spiritual man., and some might say he had supernatural powers.
Lastly, and probably the least known trivia about him was he abhorred brushing his teeth.
When his attending physician was asked for a summary of his health, the answer was none too obvious.
—-
He's a super calloused fragile mystic with n**... halitosis.
An Englishman, a Frenchman, and a Russian are staring at a portrait of Adam and Eve.
My, look at the composure on their faces, says the Englishman. With such calm and reserved looks, surely they must be English!
Nonsense! says the Frenchman. No English person was ever that beautiful! Surely, they must be French!
The Russian laughs. Silly capitalists, arguing over s**... nonsense like this! Answer is obvious! Adam and Eve have no food, no clothes, and no shelter, and yet they are told they are living in paradise! Clearly, they are living in Soviet Russia!
A priest, scientist and rabbi are discussing when life begins.
The priest says the answer is obvious, it begins at conception as decreed by God.
The scientist says no it begins at birth as at that point it can live outside of it's mother.
The rabbi says you are both wrong. It starts when the dog dies and the kids move out.
A new pastor was visiting the homes of his parishioners
At one house it seemed obvious that someone was home but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took at a card and wrote Revelations 3:20 on the back of it and stuck it to the door.
When the offering was taken the following Sunday, the pastor found his card had been returned. Along with the verse he had written, he found another cryptic message: Genesis 3:10 .
When he checked his Bible to discover what this could mean, the pastor began to chuckle.
Revelations 3:20 reads behold, I stand at the door and knock . Genesis 3:10 says, I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid, for I was n**....
Little Johnny is in Catholic School
The nun teaching the class asks, "Where do you sense Jesus in your life?"
Little Susie, being a good girl says, "I see Jesus when I pray."
Little Timmy says, "I can feel Jesus' presence during Mass."
Little Johnny, with his hand waving eagerly in the air, is finally called on. Johnny says, "Jesus is in my bathroom every morning."
The nun, obviously confused, asks why Johnny thinks this.
Little Johnny answers saying, "Each morning that my Father is late to work, he pounds on the bathroom door saying, 'JESUS CHRIST, ARE YOU STILL IN THERE?"
Two brain surgeons are discussing cases over lunch.
Surgeon 1: I just don't understand it. I treated a monk with epilepsy by implanting a seizure inhibitor device - the one with a microcomputer that sends out current to negate the seizure. It's working perfectly and his seizures are gone, but he keeps putting acorns and stuff into hollow spaces in trees. He didn't display this behavior before the surgery but now he seems compelled to do this.
Surgeon 2: The answer is obvious. After the implant he is a chip monk.
A pirate captain with a peg leg walks into a bar.
On his c**..., he's got a ship's helm fastened to him.
The old pirate settles into the bar.
The bartender serves him a drink and finally asks the obvious, "what is the purpose of the helm on your c**...?"
The pirate answers: "Arrrr, I dunno, but it's drivin' me nuts!"