Fun-Filled Obtain Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
Why are people acting like Kamala Harris is the first woman to obtain such a high ranking position in the US Government?
Have we all forgotten that Monica Lewinsky was directly under Bill Clinton?
Why is v**... so hard to obtain in the Star Wars universe?
Because only Siths deal in Absolut.
How do ghosts obtain money?
Via a polterheist. Ouch, the downvotes!
An engineer, a mathematician, and a physicist are asked to measure the volume of a pig.
The engineer answers: "we fill a pool to the brim with water, fully immerse the pig, collect the spilled water and measure its weight. The pig will have a volume of 1dm^3 per collected Kg."
The mathematician answers: "we freeze the pig, slice it and integrate the slices' areas to obtain a volume."
The physicist answers: "let P be a spherical, friction-less pig...
"Studnia" is a Polish word referring to a shaft sunk into the ground used to obtain water
(hopefully this translates well)
Bear & Human encounters
If bears and humans live in close proximity, they can be prepared ahead of time for such encounters. Obtain airhorns and pepper spray.
If the first couple of blasts of an airhorn doesn't scare them off, then run at them with an airhorn blasting. If you get close enough, use the pepper spray.
If the humans still won't run away, roar in their face. If they still don't leave, then the chances are they are too s**... to have any friends, so it is safe to slap them upside the head.
Subscribe (Verb) - to obtain or have a subscription to a publication, concert series, service, etc.
Subscribe (Noun) - a very obedient writer
Where do people obtain knowledge?
A FACTory.
In court, a woman asks for custody of her daughter.
Woman claims that she gone through pain by giving birth to her daughter to bring her to this world therefore she should obtain the custody.
Then the judge asks the man for an argument why he should obtain the custody of his daughter.
The man said: "Judge, if you insert a coin into a vending machine and get a bottle of Coke, to whom does the bottle belongs?
Vending machines or yours?
Measuring vs Questionaries
Me: To get the mass of each Can of chicken I used a digital scale
Teacher: Why did you use that method to obtain your data as
opposed to the other methods?
Me: Because the cans refused to answer the questionnaires honestly
You'll never guess this simple and surefire way to become a millionaire!
Obtain 1,000,000 dollars
You can explore obtain derive reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean obtain radius dad jokes. There are also obtain puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What is long and hard that I shake every morning to obtain a white substance?
My shaving foam can you p**....
I obtained this username today.
Apparently I'm the only one.
How do you obtain Kate Upton's n**...?
Easy, go on Twitter right now.
How does a cougar obtain the perfect tan?
She uses a perfect son.
From where do we obtain the porcelain?
From the porcesheeps.
