Obsessive Compulsive Jokes
22 obsessive compulsive jokes and hilarious obsessive compulsive puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about obsessive compulsive that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Obsessive Compulsive Short Jokes
Short obsessive compulsive jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The obsessive compulsive humour may include short obsessive jokes also.
- Dad is obsessive compulsive about his vinyl and owns every single Beatles record except for one.. I think he needs Help.
- Me and my friends from the obsessive compulsive support group are starting a rock cover band. We're calling ourselves OC/DC.
- Obsessive Compulsive... The representative body that supports people who suffer from OCD have petitioned the Government to change the acronym to CDO in alphabetical order the way it should be...
- Did you hear about the insomniac, dyslexic, obsessive compulsive butcher? He used to lay in bed at night worrying about why he constantly weighed a steak.
- Recently I bought a really good book about curing my obsessive compulsive disorder. It's helped me so much. I can't stop reading it.
- I suffer from an unusual obsessive compulsive disorder, CDO I have to write acronyms in alphabetical order
- I have CDO It's like obsessive compulsive disorder, only it's in alphabetical order as it should be.
- I got a h**... from a girl with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It was the best minute of my life... Then the worst eleven minutes of my life.
Share These Obsessive Compulsive Jokes With Friends
Obsessive Compulsive One Liners
Which obsessive compulsive one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with obsessive compulsive? I can suggest the ones about compulsive and compulsive liar.
- I'm starting a weekly meeting at my house for people with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.
- DSM? Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCS):
*see* **detail therapy** - I met an obsessive-compulsive s**... once. He was a**...-retentive.
Gather Around for Heartwarming Obsessive Compulsive Jokes and Uplifting Humor
What funny jokes about obsessive compulsive you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean paranoid jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make obsessive compulsive pranks.
OCD
A Stanford Medical research group advertised for participants
in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were
looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this
disorder. The response was gratifying; they got 300 responses
the day after the ad came out.
All from the same person.
Thank you for calling the Psychiatric Institute of Mental Health
If you have an obsessive-compulsive disorder, please press button 1. Again. And again. And again.
If you have a multiple personality disorder press in rapid sequence keys 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you suffer from paranoia, we have to inform you that we already know who you are, what you do in life, and what you want from us. Please stay on the phone while we trace your call.
If you suffer from hallucinations, press the 7 on the big pink telephone that you, and only you, see at your immediate right.
If you are suffer from chizophrenia, please kindly ask your imaginary friend to press the 8 key for you.
If you suffer from depression, it doesn't matter which key you press, as there is nothing to do: yours is a basket case, and there is no cure.
If you suffer from amnesia, press keys in rapid sequence 2, 7, 5, 3, 9 5, 7, 5, 1, 6, 4, 9 and repeat out loud, in the following order, your name, surname, home address, mobile number, e-mail, social security number, bank account number, ATM pin code, date of birth, marital status, place of birth and your grandmother's maiden name.
If you suffer from indecision, leave your message before, after, or during the beep.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from short-term memory loss press 0.
If you suffer from obsessive avarice we have to inform you that this call costs 500 euros per minute.
If you suffer from low self-esteem, keep waiting: all our operators are busy responding to people who are much more important than you.
If you are one of the Italians that voted for Berlusconi, please hang up. We cure the crazy, not the jerks.
Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you are Obsessive Compulsive, press 1 repeatedly. If you are codependant, have someone press 2 for you. If you have multiple personalities, press 3,4,5,6. If you are paranoid, we know which one you want.
Whattaya call someone who seems to have an almost fetishistic obsession with stomping into a comments section, saying something absolutely horrible, and spending the rest of the day slapfighting with whole threads of people calling them an idiot?
A compulsive mass debater.
Mental health hotline.
Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline.
If you have obsessive compulsive disorder, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personality syndrome, press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you suffer from paranoid schizophrenia, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be transfered to the mothership.
If you are hearing voices, listen carefully and a small voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which button you press. No one will answer anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 96969696969696.
If you have a nervous disorder, please fidget with the pound button until a representative comes on the line.
If you have amnesia, press 8 and state your name, address, phone number, date of birth, social security number, and your mother's and grandmother's maiden names.
If you have post traumatic stress disorder, slowly and carefully press 911.
If you have bi-polar disorder, please leave a message after the beep. Or before the beep. Or after the beep. Please wait for the beep.
If you have short term memory loss, please try you call again in a few minutes.
If you have low self esteem, please hang up. All our representatives are busy.
The answering protocol for the psychiatric hotline.
Hello. Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No-one will answer.
Hello and welcome to the mental health hotline..
If you are obsessive compulsive press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid we know who you are and what you want..stay on the line and we'll trace your call.
If you are delusional press 7 and your call will be transferred to the mothership.
If you are a nymphomaniac please stop doing that with the phone..
If you are schizophrenic listen carefully - a small voice will tell you which button to press.
Answering machine message
Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline. If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2. If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6. If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line until we can trace the call. If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press. If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.