Observations On Men Jokes
12 observations on men jokes and hilarious observations on men puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about observations on men that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Observations On Men Short Jokes
Short observations on men jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The observations on men humour may include short women men jokes also.
- There are three kinds of men... The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
- GRAM'S OBSERVATION My grandmother said to me that men were more polite and charming when she was young.
i explained that it was because no one wants to have s**... with her anymore
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Delightful Fun Observations On Men Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What funny jokes about observations on men you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean difference between men and women jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make observations on men pranks.
Female hormones in a beer
Yesterday, scientists in the United States revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, they fed one hundred men twelve pints of beer and observed that 100% of them started talking nonsense and couldn't drive.
After being elected President, Bernie Sanders confronted...
...General Keith B. Alexander (the head of the NSA) and asked him on what grounds he wanted to continue observing the American people's cell phone/internet communications.
The General sighed and shook his head. "Some men just want to watch the world, Bern."
A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are observing a building...
A very heavy-set man is seen going in.
A while later two very skinny men exit.
The physicist says "To within experimental error, the conservation of mass has been demonstrated."
The biologist says "reproduction by mitosis must have taken place."
The mathematician scratches his chin and then says "you know, if one more person goes in there that building will be empty."
A physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician are observing an empty house.
They see a man walk into the house. An hour later, two men walk out of the house.
The physicist says, "There must have been an error when measuring the number of people entering the house!"
The biologist says, "The man must have somehow reproduced!"
The mathematician says, "There are now -1 people in the house."
Three men are standing at the train station.
They are talking to each other and they don't even notice that the train already came and is now already moving. They all run towards the door, and two of them manage to jump on the train, but the third one stays on the platform. An observer comes to the man and says: wow, your friends are fast! The man responds: Yeah, but they were here just to e**... me to the train!
Three men - one blind, one deaf, one dumb - participate in a game show...
The blind man is shown a map with a marker and asked to name the exact place it is pointing to. Being blind though, he is well versed in Braille, so he begins feeling the map with his hands and after a few seconds says "Grenoble, France".
"Correct! 50 points for Mr. Blind", says the host.
The deaf man is played a particular song and asked to identify its singer. Being deaf though, he is a keen observer and lip-reader. He notices one of the people in the audience singing along with the song, reads their lip, and says, "Stand Tall, by Burton Cummings."
"Correct! 50 points for Mr. Deaf", says the host.
Finally, the dumb man is asked to spell "Mississippi". After thinking for a few seconds, he says, "M-R-S. S-I-P-P-Y".
"Yesterday, scientists revealed that beer contains small traces of female hormones.
To prove their theory, the scientists fed 100 men 12 pints of beer and observed that 100% of them gained weight, talked excessively without making sense, became emotional, couldn't drive, and refused to apologize when wrong. No further testing is planned."
It was Tracy's first day at the aviary
And she was put in charge of the cassowary enclosure. She only looked away for a second, but that was enough time for one of them to escape! Tracy looked back and saw a flurry of wings and feathers as the great beast fled the area. She chased after it and heard in the distance a great commotion and the sound of terrified screams. She approached the scene and with horror observed two men, bloodied and mangled.
Tracy's manager came running up to her and witnessed the massacre.
"Do you have any idea who these men are? That one there is Keith Richards," yelled the manager, "and that one there is m**... Jagger!"
"Tracy, you've killed two Stones with one bird!"
WARNING: Men should avoid drinking beer
Beer contains phytoestrogens that increase the female hormone estrogen in men, lowering their testosterone levels.
In fact it has been proven that by drinking enough beer, men turn into women.
In a study 100 men drank 8 pints of beer each within a 1 hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects:
1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional.
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally
8) Had to sit down while urinating.
Beer is Bad for You
Beer contains female hormones! Yes, that's right, FEMALE hormones! Last month, Montreal University scientists released the results of a recent analysis that revealed the presence of female hormones in beer - hops contain Phytoestrogens - and that by drinking enough beer, men began to act like women. To test the theory, 100 men each drank 8 large drafts of beer within a one (1) hour period. It was then observed that 100% of the test subjects, yes, 100% of all these men:
1) Argued over nothing.
2) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong.
3) Gained weight.
4) Talked excessively without making sense.
5) Became overly emotional
6) Couldn't drive.
7) Failed to think rationally, and
8) Had to sit down while urinating.
No further testing was considered necessary!!