Obliged Jokes
20 obliged jokes and hilarious obliged puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about obliged that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Obliged Short Jokes
Short obliged jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The obliged humour may include short obliges jokes also.
- The new Russian AI application ChatKGB - it's asking all the questions, and you are obligated to answer them
- Have you walked 500 miles? Have you walked 500 miles?
Have you been asked to walk 500 more?
You may be entitled to compensation!!!
For your free no obligation quote call the Pro-Claimers now!! - If The Safety Dance comes on, are we obligated to dance? I mean, I know we can dance if we want to
- Girl, are you a Collateralized Debt Obligation? Because a lot of rich people are trading you around and a few insiders have told me you're completely toxic.
- I hear Hillary really resented Sanders's hastag #FeelTheBern She was worried how obligated Bill would feel when #FeelTheClinton caught on.
- If you buy cabbage from Coles you are legally obliged to buy carrots and mayo as well It's called Coleslaw
- I'm the kind of guy who would feel morally obligated to eat what I kill... So please don't try to rob my house...
- I'm clicking on this post now. I think it's mildly humorous how this joke is written in the first person, so I'll leave an upvote because I feel obliged to do so.
- My nieces are darlings... My nieces are darlings said Sid.
I'm obliged to do whatever they bid.
As I tucked them in bed,
I asked "What's to be read?"
"Uncle Remus!" they cried, so I did. - TIL that if you thank or reward someone for something before they do it, they feel obliged to do it thanks for the gold, stranger!
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Obliged One Liners
Which obliged one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with obliged? I can suggest the ones about tasked and owed.
- If you crack a Joseph Stalin joke.. I am obliged to give full Marx for effort.
- How about a month filled with stress and obligation? - Pitch for December
- Who's the most helpful female rapper? Mary J Obliging
Silly & Ridiculous Obliged Jokes to Spread Joy & Laughter
What funny jokes about obliged you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean obedient jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make obliged pranks.
So I was f**... this girl, she said put 2 in so I did.
She said put your whole hand in so I did, next she demanded the other hand so I obliged. Finally she said "now clap your hands" I said "I can't" to which she replied "Pretty tight huh?"
An old man was dying, and asked his wife for a favor...
He said, I will be dying soon, so I'd like you to put all my prized possessions in the attic, so that when I die, my spirt can grab the items as I ascend to heaven.
The wife obliged, and when her husband passed a few days later, she ran up to the attic to see if he managed to take his belongings.
The attic was still full of all the possessions she put there.
She shook her head and said, I knew I should have put all his possessions in the basement.
The preacher asked the small boy to show him the way to the post office and the boy courteously obliged
"Thank you", the preacher said. "You are a bright and polite young man. How would you like to listen to my sermon this evening so that I may show you the way to Heaven?"
"You're going to show me the way to Heaven?" the boy said in astonishment."But you don't even know the way to the post office!"
A nun comes over to a grocery store and yelps at the cashier: "A bottle of r**...".
The cashier obliged, but he couldn't help but ask: "I thought nuns don't drink". "Well, mother sometimes has constipation and a little bit of r**... helps her with that", the nun replied. The cashier nods and a few hours later in the evening, he closes the store and leaves home. On the way, he noticed the same nun, totally drunk, with an empty bottle of r**... in her hand. "I thought you said it was for the mother", the cashiet scolded her. "Well yea exactly, she'll s**... herself once she sees me!"
A Scottish lass inquired to a man wearing a kilt "Is it true what that say about what's underneath a man's kilt?"
"Place your hand beneath and see for yourself' replied he. She obliged and cried out "Sir, that's gruesome!" He said "If you place your hand back again, you'll find it's gruesome more!"
Two soldiers were at their post
When their commanding officer came over and said
" Alright boys there is a curfew tonight, anyone seen out past 10pm must be shot on site." The soldiers shook their head and obliged.
It hit 9:45pm and the commanding officer heard gunshot fire and came running to the soldiers to discover a man shot dead.
" What the h**... happened here! It's only 9:45!" Said the officer.
" Well sir I know where that man lives and there is no way in h**... he was making it home for 10!"
A kid walks into a grocery store
Looks at the cashier with intimidating eyes "Give me this food free of charge or I'll do what my father did"
Fearful for his apparent resolve the cashier lets him leave uncharged.
2nd day the kid back says the same thing, the cashier feels obliged to answer his request.
This goes on for a week and then the cashier asks "What did your father do?"
The kid replies "He went to sleep hungry"
I'm looking for a joke...
Hey jokers can y'all help me?
I used to tell this joke and I can't remember how it went. But it was something with 3 men, 3 women, and I believe 3 ducks.
Do any of you know it?
Much obliged.
British pilot shot down over Germany...
...unfortunately he was badly injured when he was captured. They had to amputate his left leg so he asked if the Luftwaffe would drop it over his base in England, they obliged. A week later his right leg was amputated and again it was dropped over his base. Soon after his arm had to be amputated and when he asked for that to be dropped over his base the Germans said nein, zis ve cannot do anymore!
Why asked the pilot?
Because ve zink you're trying to escape.
(Sorry about the German accent, best I could do)
How did your interview go yesterday?
\- Well, I entered the office and found the interviewer sitting on a large black leather chair. He pointed towards his laptop, asked me to go outside with it and then come back and try to sell it. He thought himself as Leonardo DiCaprio from the Wolf of Wall Street.
\- So what did you do?
\- Well, obviously I obliged. I took the laptop and left the room.
\- Then what?
\- Nothing. 30 minutes later he called me up. Begging me to return it cause all his important documents were in it. So I asked him: will you buy it?
An American POW was being held in Germany...
Both of his arms were injured during the fighting and the n**... amputated one.
"Can you drop my arm over allied territory for my wife?" The soldier asked.
The doctors obliged.
A few days later the other arm became infected and they amputated that one.
"Can you drop it over allied territory for my wife?" He asked again.
The doctors met his second request.
A few weeks later, the soldier's leg got smashed in the work camp and had to be amputated.
"Can you drop my leg over allied territory for my wife?" He asked.
"Nein!" The doctors told him. "We cannot do this any more!"
"Why not?"
"We think you're trying to escape!"
Guy walks into a bar and is in despair....
He sits down and asks for 6 top shelf whiskey shots all lined up....
The bartender pours them all out and the guy quickly shoots them one by one.
He asks for 6 more and the bartender obliged. As he's pouring the next 6 shots he gently asks the guy if he's ok.
The man replies with an awkward demeanor - " yah....I'm ok... But you would be nervous too if you had what I had."
The bartender asks the man curiously as he is finishing pouring the last round of shots....... "well... What do you have??"
the man quickly finishes drinking the last of the second round of shots and replies...
" fifty cents."