Obi Wan Jokes

119 obi wan jokes and hilarious obi wan puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about obi wan that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Obi Wan Short Jokes

Short obi wan jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The obi wan humour may include short anakin skywalker jokes also.

  1. If Ani is short for Anakin and Obi is short for Obi-Wan, what is Luke short for? A stormtrooper.
  2. Darth Vader: Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas. Luke: How?
    Darth Vader: I felt your presents.
  3. What advice did Obi-Wan give Luke when Luke's marriage was falling apart? Use divorce, Luke
  4. If Ani is short for Anakin, Obi is short for Obi-Wan, then what is Yoda short for? He is short, for having small legs.
  5. Why was Obi Wan Kenobi fired from his job as a marriage guidance counsellor? He kept telling people to "use divorce"
  6. Joke For Darth What is the difference between the first fight between Vader and Kenobi and the second?
    Obi-wan then Obi lost.
  7. Luke and Obi-Wan walk into a Chinese restaurant Ten minutes into the meal, Luke's still having trouble with the chopsticks, dropping food everywhere. Obi-Wan finally snaps, *Use the fork, Luke.*
  8. What did Obi-wan say to Luke when he saw him struggling with the chopsticks? Use the fork, Luke.
  9. It's my cakeday, so figured I'd tell this joke (game grumps told this joke) What is a Jedi's Favourite Italian dessert...
  10. Why is Obi-wan Kenobi a terrible marriage counselor? The only advice he gives is Use di-

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Obi Wan One Liners

Which obi wan one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with obi wan? I can suggest the ones about Anakin Skywalker and boba fett.

  1. Why didn't Leia email Obi-Wan the Death-Star plan? The Jedi Code forbids attachments.
  2. What do you call an Italian Jedi? Obi Wan Cannoli.
    Don't worry, I'll see myself out.
  3. Can Obi-Wan obi? Yes, Obi-Wan Kenobi.
  4. How many obi's does it take to kenobi? Only wan.
  5. What do you call a Jedi Italian pastry chef? Obi Wan Cannoli
  6. What advice did Obi-Wan give Luke as his marriage was going downhill? Use divorce, Luke
  7. What did Obi-Wan say to Luke at dinner? Use the forks, Luke.
  8. What was Obi-Wan Kenobi's favorite place to hang out? The Maul.
  9. Disney isn't making a second season of Obi-Wan Kenobi Because there Kenobi-Wan.
  10. What car does Obi-Wan drive? A Highlander
  11. Why was Luke Skywalker called the last Jedi ? Because he was the Obi Wan left
  12. Why did Obi-Wan survive the tsunami? Because he had the high ground.
  13. What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say at a restaurant? Use the fork, Luke
  14. How many Star Wars characters does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just Obi Wan
  15. Why was Luke under the Christmas tree? He wanted to feel Obi Wan's presents.

Obi Wan Kenobi Jokes

Here is a list of funny obi wan kenobi jokes and even better obi wan kenobi puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say when he heard Anakin had joined the dark side? (shrugs)
    "Well, Sith happens"
  • What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say to the body builder in his pharmacy? These are not the 'roids you are looking for.
  • What is Obi-Wan Kenobi's favourite type of BBQ sauce? A bold one.
  • Obi-Wan Kenobi walks into a bakery I'll take 2 of these he says.
    The baker replies, There's only one cannoli.
  • Lord Vader, do you know the difference between your 1st and 2nd fight w/ Kenobi? Obi-Wan, then Obi lost.
    Please don't kill me.
  • What did Obi Wan Kenobi say to Luke when he saw him trying to eat steal with a spoon? Use the Fork Luke. The Fork
  • How many treats can Obi Wan Kenobi eat? Only one cannoli
  • What did Obi Wan Kenobi say when he purchased his first Spanish-made garden ornament? That's gnome un.
  • Yo mama so fat Obi Wan Kenobi looks at her and proclaims "that's no moon, it's a space station"
  • Obi-Wan had a son named Ken Ken Obi-wan Kenobi

Obi Wan Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about obi wan you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jedi master jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make obi wan pranks.

What did Obi Wan say when Luke was constipated?
"Use the F-O-R-C-E Luke!"

What type of drink does a Star-Wars fan order at the bar?

Obi-Wan Fifty

Obi-wan Cohen

Once upon a time a powerful Emperor of the Rising Sun advertised for a new Chief Samurai.
After a year, only three applied for the job: A Japanese, A Chinese, and A Jewish Samurai.
"Demonstrate your skills!" commanded the Emperor.
The Japanese samurai stepped forward, opened a tiny box and released a fly.
He drew his samurai sword and *Swish!* the fly fell to the floor, neatly divided in two!
"What a feat!" said the Emperor.
"Number Two Samurai, show me what you can do."
The Chinese samurai smiled confidently, stepped forward and opened a tiny box, releasing a fly.
He drew his samurai sword and * Swish! * Swish! * the fly fell to the floor neatly quartered.
"That is skill!" nodded the Emperor.
"How are you going to top that, Number Three Samurai?"
The Jewish samurai, Obi-wan Cohen, stepped forward opened a tiny box releasing one fly, drew his samurai sword and *Swoooooosh! * flourished his sword so mightily that a gust of wind blew through the room. But the fly was still buzzing around!
In disappointment, the Emperor said, "What kind of skill is that? The fly isn't even dead."
"Dead?" replied the Jewish Samurai!! "Dead is easy. Circumcision... THAT takes skill!"

What did Obi Wan Kenobi say the day before Cinco de Mayo?

"May the Fourth be with you"

A long, long time ago in a galaxy far, far away...

There lived a Jedi known as Luke Skywalker. Luke was a mighty warrior, and quite the ladies man. His use of his 'lightsaber' attracted the eye of the beautiful Princess Leah. Luke wooed the Princess, and they fell in love. All was great in the world, until Han Solo, the ex lover of Princess Leah, filled Luke in on a little secret. Princess Leah is Luke's sister! Luke was obviously distraught! Freaking out, he went to find his master, Obi Wan Kenobi. Luke said to him, "Master Obi Wan! My beautiful wife is my sister! What do I do?!"
Master Kenobi, keeping his cool, looked his apprentice in the eye and said, "Luke, use divorce."

Q: What did Obi-Wan say to Luke at the breakfast table?

A: "Use the fork, Luke."

What did Obi-wan say to Skywalker the first time he saw him as Darth Vader?

(snickering) Nice suit, must have cost you an ...

What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say to the guy at the liquor store?

Only a Sith deals in Absolut.

What did Obi Wan Kenobi tell Luke when he took him to a brothel?

May the w**... be with you.....

What would Obi Wan be called if he were Mexican?

Obi Juan Kenobi.

Who wears robes, cuts off people's hands, and lives in the desert?

Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Why is v**... Obi-Wan Kenobi's least favourite drink?

Because only a Sith deals in Absolut.

So, Anakin thought Padme was cheating with Obi Wan.

It seems he found her lack of faithfulness disturbing

Did you hear about Disney's new Star Wars/ Highlander crossover?

The tag line is "There can be Obi-Wan."

Who's worse than Obi-Wan Kenobi?

Obi-TOO Kenobi!!

Luke and Obi-Wan walk into a Chinese restaurant.

Luke and Obi-Wan walk into a Chinese restaurant. Ten minutes into the meal, Luke's still having trouble with the chopsticks, dropping food everywhere. Obi-Wan finally snaps, Use the forks, Luke.

Why did Obi Wan not kill Anakin when he had the chance?

Because Anakin was ... unarmed.

Why couldn't Obi-Wan calculate the volume of Bespin from the ideal gas law?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes

What do Catholic Star Wars fans say?

In the name of the Vader, the Luke, and the Obi-Wan Kenobi

What is Obi Wan's favorite font?

Droid Sans

In Episode III, why did Obi Wan not finish Anakin off after their duel?

Because Anakin was unarmed.

Obi-Wan captured a Sith and bring him to Yoda.

Obi-Wan: Should I kill the Sith or let him go?
Yoda: Kill him...
\*Obi-Wan executes the Sith.\*
Yoda: must not.

That pun was too forced that

Obi-Wan thought it was the chosen one.

What do people drink at Club Obi-Wan?

Qui-Gon Gin.

Help me Obi Wan, you're

Ah forget it.

What is a Jedi's Favorite Italian Dessert?


I wanted Obi-Wan to help me rob a bank...

so I said "you in McGregor?"

Why did Obi-wan not do his math homework?

Because only a Sith deals in absolutes.

Obi wan and Anakin had a fight

Obi wan.
Coz Anakin was panakin'

Did you hear about Obi-Wan Kenobi's gay Jedi friend?


Why does Obi Wan Kenobi smoke w**...?

Cause he is on the high ground

What would Obi-wan say if he was a teacher?

Metaphors be with you

What's Obi-Wan's favorite Red Hot Chili Peppers song?

Higher ground.

Why did Obi Wan Kenobi fertilize his lawn with m**...?

He wanted the high ground.

What does Obi-Wan think about Padme and Anakin's relationship?

Di-vorce is strong with these two

How many Jedi's does it take to screw in a lightsaber?

Obi-wan ☝️

One day, Obi-Wan and Luke visit a Chinese restaurant...

Obi-Wan is eating normally, but Luke is having so much trouble with the chopsticks he's spilling the food all over the table.
Eventually, Obi-Wan becomes angry and says, "Use the forks, Luke!"

Stars Wars is not aging well. After 40 years, Obi-Wan Kenobi cannot be more wrong.

Obi-Wan: "You will **never** find a more wretched hive of s**... and villainy"
2017: "Hold my beer"

Luke asks Obi Wan about s**...

Obi wan: and that's how you can truly pleasure a woman Luke.
Luke: Life changing. Can I use the force?
Obi Wan: No Luke, that's r**....

Obi Wan Kenobi was named after his gynocologist uncle


Which Star Wars character would always sneak off set for a cheeky m**... session?

Obi Wan Kernobi.

What do you call a Jedi in denial?

Obi-Wan Cannot Be

Where does a Jedi get out of the rain?

Under the Obi Wan Canop-i

Obi-Wan must'vw been so depressed living on Tatooine.

After all, Obi-Wan is the loneliest number.

Yo mama so fat

Obi wan told her : "You have the high ground"

Why couldn't Luke, Han, Chewie and Obi Wan find Leia's home planet?

They were looking in Alderaan places

Why won't Obi-Wan mix you a v**... cocktail?

Only a Sith deals in Absoluts.

May The Force Be With You

And with your spirit!

In the name of the Vader, Obi-Wan, and the holy Jedha....

Obi-Wan: These aren't the droids you're looking for.

Stormtrooper: They R2!

Why didn't Luke Skywalker's marriages ever last?

He wanted to follow Obi-Wan's advice: "Use divorce, Luke"

Why does Obi-Wan keep his coffee on the top shelf?

He likes the high grounds.

What flavor ice cream do Jedi like best?

Obi-Wan Spumoni

Obi-Wan Kenobi was arrested last night

He's being charged with Grievous b**... Harm

Luke Skywalker and Obi Wan are out at a Chinese restaurant and Luke is really battling trying to use the chopsticks to feed his face. ​

After a while Obi Wan turns to him and says "use the forks luke".

Yoda and Obi-Wan

Yoda and Obi-Wan are flying through space in their ship.
Obi-Wan asks, "Are you sure we're going in the right direction?"
Yoda answers, "Off course, we are."

So if Ani is short for Anakin, and Ben is short for Obi-Wan... and Fives is short for CT-27-5555... and Artoo is short for R2D2... and Chewie is short for Chewbacca... What is Luke short for?

A stormtrooper