The Best 56 Obese Jokes

Following is our collection of Obese jokes which are very funny. There are some obese diet jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these obese fatty puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

So I want to start losing weight and burning fat

So I set some obese kids ablaze

An objective analysis of the correlation between genetics and obesity.

A doctor is telling an obese woman that she needs to start losing weight.

The woman, offended, replies defensively, "It's not my fault! Obesity runs in my family!"

The doctor looks her up and down, and finally says, "*Nobody* runs in your family."

Listen guys, I know this sub is all in good fun, but I don't think it's right to be making dumb jokes about obese people.

They already have enough on their plates.

What's a similarity between obese people, and my relationships with women?

They don't work out.

What do you call a group of obese gender reassigned persons?

Trans fats.

Approximately eighty million Americans are obese.

But those are just round figures.

How do you get rid of an obese demon?

You exercise it.

What do you call two obese lesbians who are about to turn in for the night?

Bedward ScissorHams

Demons must be obese...

...Because they hate getting exorcised.

I am an obese man identifying as a skinny man...

I am trans-fat.

My friend was told by her doctor that she was morbidly obese.

As if she doesn't have enough on her plate.

Top Obese Puns and Funny Jokes

You can explore obese nutritionist reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean obese morbidly dad jokes. There are also obese puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

In a crime scene....

"So, Rookie, What do you make of all this?"

"Well, the vic was found naked in bed, severely beaten to death. Sounds like a clear cut murder case if you ask me"

"close. Our prime suspect is his wife, a morbidly obese woman who says he asked to be on the bottom during sex"

"So it was a suicide then...."

What do you call a skinny person that identifies as obese?

A trans fat

Doctor: You're obese. Patient:

***Doctor: You're obese. Patient: Whoa, for that I definitely want a second opinion. Doctor: You're quite ugly, too.***

Did you hear about the obese millionaire?

He has a four chin.

It's not nice to make fun of the obese...

...They have enough on their plate.

What do you do to get rid of an obese demon?

You exorcise him.

What do you call an obese woman with a rape whistle?


Doctor: ""If you gain 5 more pounds, medically, you'll be morbidly obese."

"Do you understand what this means?"

Woman: "Yes, I'm not morbidly obese now."

My body is very well-defined.

If you look under the word "obese".

How are morbidly obese people and child molesters alike?

Both want to get into smaller pants.

A woman is suicidally depressed

She's quite obese, unattractive, and lonely. Life having dealt her a bad hand, she buys a pistol and resolves to end her own life.

Wanting it to be quick, she calls her doctor to ask him where the heart is.

"It's right under the left breast", he replies.

So she hangs up, takes a deep breath, and shoots herself in the knee.

Ok guys seriously, can we stop with the obese jokes??

I mean they already have enough on their plate!

An inspector arrives at murder scene of an obese man by a cannibal

It was a lot to digest

What do you call an obese transgender?

Trans fat

Why didn't the pc gamer cross the street ?

Because he's morbidly obese

Cocaine in school

One of the teachers at my local school for obese children, was fired today. He was fired for doing cocaine before going to work. He was ratted out by his large pupils.

I witnessed the break up of an obese couple

I guess they didn't work out.

Have you heard about the obese, alcoholic transvestite?

All he wanted was to eat, drink and be Mary.

Even though I'm pretty skinny, I identify as an obese person...

I'm trans fat.

A man walks into a bar...

...and sees two obese women having a conversation. He walks up to them and notices they have an accent. He says, "hello ladies, I like your accent is it from Scotland?" One of the women replies, "It's Wales you idiot." The man says to the women, " I'm sorry, hello whales, is your accent from Scotland?"

Interviewer: So Japan, I hear that you're the least obese country in the world. How did you achieve this?

Japan: Ah. So did I ever tell you what happened the last time we had a Fat Man in Japan?

Life is like a box of chocolates

It doesn't last as long for the obese.

What do call an obese transvestite?

A trans fat

I was really tempted to say mean things about an obese animal

But I decided not to because that would be hippo-critical.

What do you call the list of most grossly obese people in the world?

Four-chin 500

I was told I'd come into big money one day...

My obese wife is called penny.

Yesterday my obese parrot died

That was a weight off my shoulders.

I think we should stop shaming people if they're obese

they've already got enough on their plate to deal with.

Doctor: Before you go to sleep, don't eat anything fatty.

Obese patient: Can I eat salad instead ?

Doctor: No, fatty.

I was looking for a new psychic when I noticed they were either obese or anorexic.

Is it that hard to find a healthy medium?

An obese man wants to lose a few pounds, goes to see a specialist...

An Obese man wants to lose a few pounds, goes to see a specialist...

He's in the lobby for an hour before the doc calls him in.

Doc: I apologize for your wait.

Man: Don't, *I'm* the one that can't stop eating.

Obesity runs in my family.

An obese woman goes to the doctor. The doctor prescribes diet and exercise. The woman says, "Doctor, you don't understand. My mother is obese. My father is obese. My sister is obese. My brother is obese. My aunts are obese. Obesity runs in my family. " The doctor replies, "It sounds like nobody runs in your family."

I find all these obese jokes horrible.

Don't you think they have enough on their plate already?

What do you call 2 fat goths?

Morbidly obese.

I know I shouldnt joke about obese people they've got enough on their plate.

Did you know you have to be in the top 1% of wealth to get admitted to the clinic for obese Parkinson's sufferers?

Only the biggest movers and shakers get in.

My obese parrot died recently.

It's been really sad, but it's a huge weight off my shoulders.

It is not nice to pick on the obese,

they have enough on their plate.

I just realized what Mitch McConnell's spirit animal

It's a obese snapping turtle

I have bad news and good news. My obese parrot died yesterday. However, there is some good news.

It's a lot of weight off my shoulders.

Give me ONE good reason why obese Americans shouldn't be allowed to drive Rascal scooters in Wal-Mart! Go on!

Aisle weight.

A doctor sees an obese women to advise her about weight loss.

The women defensively says, "Look, I'm obese. My sister is obese. My mother is obese. My kids are obese. My brother is obese. Obesity runs in my family." The doctor replies, "It sounds like nobody runs in your family."

You are obese!

A woman visits the doctor

Doctor: Madame, you are obese.

Woman: What?? I demand a second opinion!

Doctor: Your hair looks stupid.

A surgeon offers a patient his choice of two hearts for transplant.

The 1st heart belonged to a 22 year old Olympian in peak physical condition who died tragically.

The 2nd heart belonged to an 80 year old obese sedentary politician.

Without thinking twice, the patient chooses the 2nd heart.
Shocked by his choice, the surgeon asks Why did you choose that heart?

The patient responds Because I know that heart has never been used.

My obese parrot died.

It was a huge weight off my shoulders.

Doctor: You're obese.

Patient: For that, I definetly want a second opinion!

Doctor: You're quite ugly, too.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the obese fattest jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working obese anorexic piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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