The Best 76 Obama Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Obama jokes. There are some obama obamaself jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these obama malia puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Obama Jokes and Puns

Obama smoked weed growing up, and now look where he is today

Unemployed with two kids and recently evicted

Why does Japan love Obama?

He is first Barack president.

No power.

Mitt Romney : "8 Million Americans still have no power."

Obama: "8 Million and one."

Obama joke, No power.

Why cant obama ever be on a dollar bill?

they would have to use to much ink.

Why did the Jew vote for Obama?

Because he promised change.


Why was Putin late for dinner with Obama?

Because he got Snowden.

My Dad got a Chia Obama head a couple of years ago.

The box said he would grow an afro, but nothing changed.

Obama joke, My Dad got a Chia Obama head a couple of years ago.

Dear President Obama, I've got a joke for you...

I texted it to Angela Merkel. Did you... *get it*?

Obama goes on vacation to South Carolina and goes for an ocean swim...

And begins to drown! A young lifeguard swims out and rescues him, pulling him back to shore.

"Thank you so much for saving me young lady. Please, tell me what I can do to repay you."

"Aw shucks, I don't need nuthin', sir, it's just ma job!" She says.

"Listen, I'm the President of the United States, I can give you anything you want!"

She thinks for a moment and says "Well, I'd mighty like a plot at the Arlington National Cemetery if ya can do that fer me."

"Why does a young woman like you want a burial plot at the cemetery?"

"Because" she said, "When my friends and family find out what I just did they'll kill me!"

When Obama made his inaugural speech, they put him behind bulletproof glass.

And that's proof of the racism that still exists in America today. I mean, just because he's black, doesn't mean he was going to go and shoot everybody.

Barack Obama and Vladimir Putin were in a meeting

Obama said, "Mr. Putin, the reason that I love my country is that a man can walk right into The White House and say, 'I don't like the way that Barack Obama is running The United States of America.'"

Putin responded, "That's true in Russia, too. Anyone can walk into the Kremlin and say, 'I don't like the way that Barack Obama is running the United States of America.'"

You can explore obama trump reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean obama speeches dad jokes. There are also obama puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Obama frees a genie

Obama frees a genie, but this is a cheap genie and he only grants him one wish. Obama furrows his brow in thought and finally comes up with the perfect single wish and starts:

"Now, let me be clear..."

he turns into a window.

Obama walks into a bar.....

Some time passes after the 2016 US Presidential election, and Barack Obama passes away from old age. He gets bored after a while in heaven, and asks God if he can return to Earth for a while to see how the good ole' US of A is turning out. God agrees.

Obama returns to Brooklyn, and walks into a bar, ordering a beer. He asks the barkeep "How's the country? How are foreign affairs? Any problems currently being faced?"

"Oh, nothing at all, sir. We're an empire now. We're successful."

"But what about Iraq and Afghanistan? Those were terrorist hotspots not too long ago?"

"We control it now. We're an empire. Everything is good."

"But what about Europe, Asia, and their financial crises?"

"That too has been taken care of. We are now finally an empire."

Pleased at the outlook of the country he once led, Obama asks the bartender for the bill:

"65 rubles, sir", replies the bartender.

What did Barack Obama say when he dropped his shell at the beach?

Oh no Michelle !

I don't understand why Obama has to give his speeches behind bullet proof glass.

I mean, I know he's black and all, but I doubt he'll shoot anyone.

President Obama visits the Pentagon...

President Obama visits the Pentagon to test out the latest in military technology.

A scientist says to him "We have two projects that we are very proud of. One is a powered exoskeleton and the other is an invisibility cloak. Which would you like to try first?"

Obama replies, "Uh, let me be clear."

Obama joke, President Obama visits the Pentagon...

You know, people in the 1970s thought there would be a black president when pigs fly...

Then Barack Obama was elected. And after a year, swine flu.

Last year Hillary got a concussion. Obama recently bumped into Clinton and asked "Bill, how is Hillary's head?"

"Not as good as Monica"

Why don't people in Kuwait know who Obama is?

Because they've been living under Iraq.


Obama and Putin are walking on the beach.

Obama says "We have got great submarines, they can stay under water for 6 weeks". Putin replies "That's nothing, our submarines can stay under water for 10 weeks". Suddenly, a submarine emerges and a man sticks his head out and yells "Heil Hitler! Do you have diesel?"

Obama and a general are discussing how to attack ISIS

Obama: We need to get boots on the ground to attack them. Send in soldiers, artillery, and trucks.

General: You are forgetting something important sir.

Obama: No I am not.

General: Tanks, Obama.

Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump?

Because orange is the new black.

Barack Obama is having a race with Joe Biden around the white house.

After finishing the race Obama says "Whew, just under 10 minutes. Did I break the record?"

Biden replies "No, Bush did 9:11."

There's a special running course around the White House.

Every president does this before they leave office, and records their times in a special book dating back to the early 19th century. Obama recently completed it, knowing he had to get it done before January. He did 9:25 and was quite pleased with it. He wondered if he had set the record, but then he found out that Bush did 9:11.

Obama and Trump are running laps around the White House...

Obama and Trump are running laps around the White House, after three laps Trump excitedly yells "10 minutes exactly, well that has to be a new record!".

Obama says "I don't think so, Bush did 9:11".

Obama, Putin and Merkel at the baltic sea

Obama declares: Our submarines can stay submerged for ten days before needing air.

Putin promptly says: That's nothing. Russian submarines can stay submerged for up to a month.

Merkel is embarrassed and stays silent.

Suddenly a submarine emerges. The hatch opens and the man yells: Heil Hitler! Is the war over?

Its not surprising that Republicans lost two presidental races to Obama

In long races usually the guy from Kenya wins.

If Trump replaces Obama in the white house, then we can all say...

Orange is the new Black.

Thanks, ~~I'll see myself out.~~ Apparently, I don't need to.

Why did Obama get two terms?

Because black men always get a longer sentence

Obama calls for greater truck control laws.

Apparently the the truck in France had a fully automatic transmission.

Obvious media bias

Michelle Obama gives a speech when her husband is being nominated, and the media is generally positive. Melania Trump gives the exact same speech, and the media pretends it's some kind of scandal.

Michelle Obama gave a great speech last night

I can't wait to hear it again at the next Republican National Convention.

What did Barack say to Michele when he asked her to marry him?

I don't wanna be Obama self.

How did Barack propose to Michelle?

He got down on one knee and said, "I don't wanna be Obama self."

Obama, Putin and Merkel discuss their submarines.

All three are sitting at a resort by the seaside, and are arguing.

Obama begins by saying "American submarines are the best in the world, they can go for weeks without needing supplies!"

Putin laughs and tell them "Stupid globalists. Russian submarines are best in world, they go MONTHS without refueling."

Merkel opens her mouth to speak, when a submarine rises out of the water. A man opens the hatch and shouts "Heil Hitler! We need fuel!"

Think what you will about Obama,

But so far he's the best black president we've ever had.

On the bright side...

We can look forward to four more years of Michelle Obama speeches from our First Lady.

Honestly, I'm just amazed he managed to pull it off.

When he first ran for president, nobody thought he could do it. When he started gaining in the polls, we all "knew" how it would end. But he showed us we were all wrong.

Congratulations to Barack Obama going eight years without being shot.

Obama is the epitome of why Americans are so racist

Just another soon-to-be unemployed black man, evicted from his house, and living on government money.

What's Obama say to Biden when he leaves the room after a argument?

Good bi-den

Remember when President-Elect Trump said immigrants were going to take our jobs?

It's all true! Just ask Michelle Obama!

Obama looks rough after the last 8 years in office.

Still better than JFK after 2.

Fidel Castro and 11 Presidents

Fidel Castro survived 11
Presidents of the United States

-Eisenhower

-Kennedy

-Johnson

-Nixon

-Ford

-Carter

-Reagan

-Bush

-Clinton

-GW Bush

-Obama

But he couldn't take 15 days of Trump

What did Edward Snowden say when he bumped into Barack Obama?

Pardon me

Where does Obama keep his armies?

In the Baracks.

What is a government mandate?

When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.

You know, those people who insult Obama and the Clintons..

really need to stop beating around the Bush.

Why did Obama get two terms as President?

Because every black man gets a longer sentence.

I don't see why Obama gave all his speeches behind bulletproof glass..

I know he's black and all but I doubt he'd actually shoot anyone.

What did Barack Obama write inside his Valentines card?

"I'm glad I've got you Michelle; I didn't want to be Obamaself"

I am still waiting for Trump to eat a Snickers ...

... so he becomes Obama again

You're not you when you're hungry

Trump was cleaning his gun in Trump Tower...

Kellyanne Conway walks in and asks,

Kellyanne: "Why do you have a gun?"

Trump: "Obama Spy Drones"

Kellyanne: \*laughs\*

Trump: \*laughs\*

Microwave: \*laughs\*

Trump shoots the Microwave.

Barack Obama:

Most of the time, all he wanted was to be invisible.

"Now, let me be clear."

The fact that president Obama needs four inches of bullet proof glass at every public speaking event, is proof that racism is still alive

Just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot everyone.

Has anyone else noticed

During most of the speeches Obama gave, he was behind bullet proof glass? I know he was black and all, but I doubt he would of shot anyone.

What did Barack Obama say to Michelle when he proposed to her?

I don't want to be Obama self.

God is talking with the presidents.

God asks Bush: "What do you believe in?"

Bush answers: "I believe in the free market, and the strong American nation!"

"Very well," says God. "Come sit to my right."

Next, God asks Obama: "What do you believe in?"

Obama answers: "I believe in the power of democracy, and equal rights for all."

"Good, says God. "You shall sit to my left."

Finally, God asks Trump: "What do you believe in?"

Trump replies: "I believe you're sitting in my chair."

George W Bush, Barack Obama, and Trump all die and go to heaven.

Upon arriving, God asks them respectively what they believe in.

Bush said he believes in American exceptionalism, the right to bear arms, and the free market.

God said alright, you can take this seat to my right.

Obama said he believes in everyone having Healthcare, equal rights for all, and sustainability.

God invited him to take the seat to His left.

Trump said "I believe you're in my seat"

Trump, Obama, Clinton, and Bush decided to have a sprinting race

Trump, Obama, Clinton, and Bush decided to have a sprinting race to see who's the fastest

Trump went first and he ran from the start to the finish line in 23:34 minutes

Clinton went second and got 15:28 minutes

Obama went after and did 10 minutes, thinking he may have won, Obama is fairly optimistic

Until Bush did 9:11

Barack and Trump found themselves at a local barbershop. As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had Trump reached for the aftershave. Donald was quick to stop him, saying, "No thanks. My wife, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel."

The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?" Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like.

It's interesting how different a US president looks at the end of their presidency. Obama had gray hair. Bush had a bunch of wrinkles..

At the end of JFKs presidency, half of his head was missing.

The last four presidents of the USA each ran one mile.

Trump made a time of 11:56

Clinton was slightly faster, timing at 11:31

Obama was very fast, he ran a 10:03

But Bush did 9:11

Why do Magic: The Gathering players love Michelle Obama?

She's a first edition Black Flotus

Obama was running with a secret service member...

And he was trying to break the record on running 4 laps around the White House lawn. When he finished the Secret Service agent said We'll done sir, your time is 9:22, one of the best times we've had.
Obama then replied, One of the best? Not the best?
The agent replied No sir, Bush did 9:11

So there were 4 people on a private jet

Oprah Winfrey, Donald trump, Barack obama, and this little girl.

In the middle of there flight, the engine shuts down and and there going to crash.

So Oprah Winfrey says the world needs me and grabs a parachute and jumps off.

Then Donald trump grabs a parachute and jumps off without saying anything.

Then there's only one parachute left.

Barack Obama says to the girl, little girl, you are the future to our country, you take the last parachute.

Then the little girl says actually there's two left.

Barack Obama says how ?

Then the little girl says because trump just took my school backpack.

So President Trump wants to abolish the two term limit on the Presidency.

Welcome back President Obama we missed you.

TRUMP IS NOT MY PRESIDENT

Neither was Obama. Actually I live in India.

What's the difference between Donald Trump and Barack Obama?

One gets made fun of for the color of his skin, and the other is Barack Obama!

What's one nice thing Republicans say about Obama that they'll never say about Trump?

He's articulate.

How do get Donald Trump to change a lightbulb?

Tell him Barack Obama installed it.

Melania Trumps RNC speech just leaked on live TV

It was read aloud by Michelle Obama.

What's the difference between Obama and Trump?

When Obama appears on the White House balcony people shout "Yes we can! Yes we can!"

When Trump appears on the White House balcony people shout: "Jump! Jump! Jump!"

Joe : Barack....

Joe : Barack....
Obama : yes Joe, we have to go our on ways after our term is over.
Joe : I'll miss you man. I'm going to be....
Obama : Don't you say it !
Joe : I'm going to be ... *cries* .....*sobs*.
Obama : don't you ever say it !
Joe : it's just.... I'm going to be... *sighs*
Joe : OBAMASELFFF

With Biden declared the winner, regardless of what side of the political spectrum you're on, I think we can all safely say...

Thanks, Obama.

Had me a Barack Obama valentines day.

Obama self.

What do Barack Obama and Donald Trump have in common?

Both are former presidents of the USA and both are harassed for the color of their skin.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the obama prez jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working obama barack obama piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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