Obama Jokes
169 obama jokes and hilarious obama puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about obama that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for some funny Obama jokes? We've got you covered with our list of the best jokes about the 44th President of the United States.
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Funniest Obama Short Jokes
Short obama jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The obama humour may include short election jokes also.
- Barack Obama goes to a costume party while giving his wife a piggyback ride. Someone asks him what he's dressed up as and he responds I'm a snail! That's M'shell on my back
- I don't understand why Obama has to give his speeches behind bullet proof glass. I mean, I know he's black and all, but I doubt he'll shoot anyone.
- Hillary Clinton lost last time to the first African American president, Barack Obama. Why will she lose this one to Donald Trump? Because orange is the new black.
- How did Barack propose to Michelle? He got down on one knee and said, "I don't wanna be Obama self."
- Barack Obama is having a race with joe Biden around the white house. After finishing the race Obama says "Whew, just under 10 minutes. Did I break the record?"
Biden replies "No, Bush did 9:11." - What's the difference between Donald Trump and Barack Obama? One gets made fun of for the color of his skin, and the other is Barack Obama!
- What did Barack say to Michele when he asked her to marry him? I don't wanna be Obama self.
- So President Trump wants to abolish the two term limit on the Presidency. Welcome back President Obama we missed you.
- It's interesting how different a US president looks at the end of their presidency. Obama had gray hair. Bush had a bunch of wrinkles.. At the end of JFKs presidency, half of his head was missing.
- Dear President Obama, I've got a joke for you... I texted it to Angela Merkel. Did you... *get it*?
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Obama One Liners
Which obama one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with obama? I can suggest the ones about politics and president.
- Why did Obama get two terms? Because black men always get a longer sentence
- Where does Obama keep his armies? In the Baracks.
- What is a government mandate? When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together.
- What's Obama say to Biden when he leaves the room after a argument? Good bi-den
- Why did homeless people vote for Obama? Because he said he'd bring change.
- Why did the Jew vote for Obama? Because he promised change.
- TRUMP IS NOT MY PRESIDENT Neither was Obama. Actually I live in India.
- Obama looks rough after the last 8 years in office. Still better than JFK after 2.
- What did Edward Snowden say when he bumped into Barack Obama? Pardon me
- What's Michelle Obama's favourite vegetable Barackoli
- Why don't people in Kuwait know who Obama is? Because they've been living under Iraq.
- Why was Putin late for dinner with Obama? Because he got Snowden.
- Why did Obama get two terms as President? Because every black man gets a longer sentence.
- Why does Japan love Obama? He is first Barack president.
- What is Michelle Obama's favorite vegetable? Baraccoli
President Obama Jokes
Here is a list of funny president obama jokes and even better president obama puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The last four presidents of the USA each ran one mile. Trump made a time of 11:56
Clinton was slightly faster, timing at 11:31
Obama was very fast, he ran a 10:03
But Bush did 9:11 - You know, people in the 1970s thought there would be a black president when pigs fly... Then barack obama was elected. And after a year, swine flu.
- Remember when President-Elect Trump said immigrants were going to take our jobs? It's all true! Just ask Michelle Obama!
- Think what you will about Obama, But so far he's the best black president we've ever had.
- What do Barack Obama and Donald Trump have in common? Both are former presidents of the USA and both are harassed for the color of their skin.
- Neither President Obama nor President Trump has done anything for the people of Mississippi. For example, they still live there.
- I'm really glad that Obama won in 2008 and was able to be the first black president of the United States of America his back up job was to be the first white president of Kenya.
- Who is a parrot's favorite President? BRAWK Obama!
(I'm almost a dad; I can feel it.) - What do you call it when President Obama What do you call it when President Obama and Joe Biden talk shop over a nice dinner?
A government man-date.
Boom. I'll be here all night. - Obama proved a black man can even be president.. And that no matter how high up a black man gets he can't get out of government housing!
Barack Obama Jokes
Here is a list of funny barack obama jokes and even better barack obama puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What did Barack Obama say to Michelle when he proposed to her? I don't want to be Obama self.
- What did Barack Obama write inside his Valentines card? "I'm glad I've got you Michelle; I didn't want to be Obamaself"
- Barack Obama: Most of the time, all he wanted was to be invisible.
"Now, let me be clear." - What did Barack Obama say when he dropped his shell at the beach? Oh no Michelle !
- How do get Donald Trump to change a lightbulb? Tell him Barack Obama installed it.
- What did Hillary say when she bumped into Barack Obama at the White House? Pardon me.
- Obama The Dark Knight (2008) The Dark Knight Rises (2012) Congratulations, Barack Obama.
- What is Obama's favorite vegetable? Barack-oli
- Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are both on a sinking ship... Barack Obama and mitt romney are both on a sinking ship; both of them are drowning. Who gets saved?!?
The answer: AMERICA!!! - Had me a Barack Obama valentines day. Obama self.
Michelle Obama Jokes
Here is a list of funny michelle obama jokes and even better michelle obama puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- On the bright side... We can look forward to four more years of Michelle Obama speeches from our First Lady.
- Michelle Obama gave a great speech last night I can't wait to hear it again at the next Republican National Convention.
- Why do Magic: The Gathering players love Michelle Obama? She's a first edition Black Flotus
- Whether you love him or hate him... ...Trump got more fat women walking in one day than Michelle Obama did in eight years.
- What did Melania Trump have on her Black Friday shopping list? A copy of everything Michelle Obama had on her list
- Melania Trumps RNC speech just leaked on live TV It was read aloud by Michelle Obama.
- Do you know what the President said to Michelle when he proposed? I don't wanna be Obama self.
- Trump did a better job getting people to exercise in 1 month than Michelle Obama did in 8 years Look at all those protesters on the streets!
- Great 1st Ladies of the United States have there own cause. Michelle Obama's: Your Truth, Melania Trump's: Be Best... Jackie Kennedy's: Take your shot
- I look forward to hearing Michelle Obama's speech again. At the 2020 RNC.
Biden Obama Jokes
Here is a list of funny biden obama jokes and even better biden obama puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- With Biden declared the winner, regardless of what side of the political spectrum you're on, I think we can all safely say... Thanks, Obama.
- Obama ran around the whitehouse with Biden. Their total time was 9:48. When they had finished Biden said "Hey Barack, did we beat the record?" Out of breath Obama said "No, Bush did 9:11"
- Do you think Obama's going to deal with Russia while he's still in office? Nah, I think he's Biden his time.
- Everyone thought that Obama's Vice President was done with politics after 2016, but now he's considering running for president in 2020. I guess he was just Biden his time.
- I say we have a new holiday called Incumbent's day We coax Biden out of the White House and if he sees his shadow, it'll be four more years of Obama.
- You don't hear much from our Vice President.... Obama zipped him up and he's a-biden.
Cheerful Fun Obama Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about obama you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean white house jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make obama pranks.
Obama smoked w**... growing up, and now look where he is today
Unemployed with two kids and recently evicted
So I was walking through Wal-Mart looking to buy new ornaments for my christmas tree, when I saw an Obama ornament.
Funny, I didn't know it was acceptable to hang a black man from a tree again.
No power.
Mitt Romney : "8 Million Americans still have no power."
Obama: "8 Million and one."
Why cant obama ever be on a dollar bill?
they would have to use to much ink.
So Merkel, Putin and Obama walk along the beach.
Suddenly Obama mentions; "You know, our Navy submarines can submerge for 4 weeks straight!"
Putin grins and says; "Well, our submarines can submerge for 6 weeks straight, they just have to surface for the food!"
Suddenly a Submarine surfaces right in front of them, a man appears and yells "SIEG HEIL! WE RAN OUT OF BENZIN!"
Yo momma so poor...[original]
she vote for Obama cos she want change
ahhh thank you ill be here all week
My Dad got a Chia Obama head a couple of years ago.
The box said he would grow an afro, but nothing changed.
Obama goes on vacation to South Carolina and goes for an ocean swim...
And begins to drown! A young lifeguard swims out and rescues him, pulling him back to shore.
"Thank you so much for saving me young lady. Please, tell me what I can do to repay you."
"Aw shucks, I don't need nuthin', sir, it's just ma job!" She says.
"Listen, I'm the President of the United States, I can give you anything you want!"
She thinks for a moment and says "Well, I'd mighty like a plot at the Arlington National Cemetery if ya can do that fer me."
"Why does a young woman like you want a burial plot at the cemetery?"
"Because" she said, "When my friends and family find out what I just did they'll kill me!"
I'm not saying...
Putin is humiliating Obama, but the last time a Russian treated an African America like this, Apollo creed died.
When Obama made his inaugural speech, they put him behind bulletproof glass.
And that's proof of the racism that still exists in America today. I mean, just because he's black, doesn't mean he was going to go and shoot everybody.
Barack Obama and Vladimir Putin were in a meeting
Obama said, "Mr. Putin, the reason that I love my country is that a man can walk right into The White House and say, 'I don't like the way that Barack Obama is running The United States of America.'"
Putin responded, "That's true in Russia, too. Anyone can walk into the Kremlin and say, 'I don't like the way that Barack Obama is running the United States of America.'"
Obama frees a genie
Obama frees a genie, but this is a cheap genie and he only grants him one wish. Obama furrows his brow in thought and finally comes up with the perfect single wish and starts:
"Now, let me be clear..."
Obama walks into a bar.....
Some time passes after the 2016 US Presidential election, and Barack Obama passes away from old age. He gets bored after a while in heaven, and asks God if he can return to Earth for a while to see how the good ole' US of A is turning out. God agrees.
Obama returns to Brooklyn, and walks into a bar, ordering a beer. He asks the barkeep "How's the country? How are foreign affairs? Any problems currently being faced?"
"Oh, nothing at all, sir. We're an empire now. We're successful."
"But what about Iraq and Afghanistan? Those were t**... hotspots not too long ago?"
"We control it now. We're an empire. Everything is good."
"But what about Europe, Asia, and their financial crises?"
"That too has been taken care of. We are now finally an empire."
Pleased at the outlook of the country he once led, Obama asks the bartender for the bill:
"65 rubles, sir", replies the bartender.
Obama wakes up on a snowy morning at the White House and looks out the window
...to see someone has peed "OBAMA s**..." in the snow. He asks the secret service to investigate. They come back and say, "sir we have bad news and worse news. The bad news is, Biden did it."
"What's worse than that?!" Says the president.
"Well sir, the worse news is, it was Michelle's handwriting."
Obama supporters are like Christmas lights...
Half of them don't work and the other half aren't very bright.
President Obama visits the Pentagon...
President Obama visits the Pentagon to test out the latest in military technology.
A scientist says to him "We have two projects that we are very proud of. One is a powered exoskeleton and the other is an invisibility cloak. Which would you like to try first?"
Obama replies, "Uh, let me be clear."
Last year Hillary got a concussion. Obama recently bumped into Clinton and asked "Bill, how is Hillary's head?"
"Not as good as Monica"
The president visits a military base
He asks a solider stationed there what vehicles he's looking at. The Solider replies "Tanks Obama"
Obama and Putin are walking on the beach.
Obama says "We have got great submarines, they can stay under water for 6 weeks". Putin replies "That's nothing, our submarines can stay under water for 10 weeks". Suddenly, a submarine emerges and a man sticks his head out and yells "Heil h**...! Do you have diesel?"
Obama and a general are discussing how to attack ISIS
Obama: We need to get boots on the ground to attack them. Send in soldiers, artillery, and trucks.
General: You are forgetting something important sir.
Obama: No I am not.
General: Tanks, Obama.
Obama bans hiring bias against ex-cons seeking federal jobs
He was quoted as says, "well, we politicians need somewhere to work after leaving office".
You know what's Obama doing right now?
He's Havana good time (sorry)
What did Obama say when he was alone?
Obamaself
There's a special running course around the White House.
Every president does this before they leave office, and records their times in a special book dating back to the early 19th century. Obama recently completed it, knowing he had to get it done before January. He did 9:25 and was quite pleased with it. He wondered if he had set the record, but then he found out that Bush did 9:11.
Obama and Trump are running laps around the White House...
Obama and Trump are running laps around the White House, after three laps Trump excitedly yells "10 minutes exactly, well that has to be a new record!".
Obama says "I don't think so, Bush did 9:11".
Obama, Putin and Merkel at the baltic sea
Obama declares: Our submarines can stay submerged for ten days before needing air.
Putin promptly says: That's nothing. Russian submarines can stay submerged for up to a month.
Merkel is embarrassed and stays silent.
Suddenly a submarine emerges. The hatch opens and the man yells: Heil h**...! Is the war over?
Its not surprising that Republicans lost two presidental races to Obama
In long races usually the guy from Kenya wins.
A man dies and goes to heaven...
St. Peter welcomes him and shows him many many clocks.
"There is a clock for every person on the Earth" says St. Peter "The hand moves a bit if the person lies. We even have all the politicians here. Obama, Bush and Trump."
"And where is Hilary Clinton's clock?" Asks the man.
Peter answers: "It's in my office, I use it as a fan."
Kennedy put a man on the moon....
Obama put a man in the ladies room.
If Trump replaces Obama in the white house, then we can all say...
Orange is the new Black.
Thanks, ~~I'll see myself out.~~ Apparently, I don't need to.
Obama calls for greater truck control laws.
Apparently the the truck in France had a fully automatic transmission.
Obvious media bias
Michelle Obama gives a speech when her husband is being nominated, and the media is generally positive. Melania Trump gives the exact same speech, and the media pretends it's some kind of scandal.
Obama, Putin and Merkel discuss their submarines.
All three are sitting at a resort by the seaside, and are arguing.
Obama begins by saying "American submarines are the best in the world, they can go for weeks without needing supplies!"
Putin laughs and tell them "s**... globalists. Russian submarines are best in world, they go MONTHS without refueling."
Merkel opens her mouth to speak, when a submarine rises out of the water. A man opens the hatch and shouts "Heil h**...! We need fuel!"
Donald Trump is the most unifying voice in American politics.
When was the last time Barack Obama, Paul Ryan, Jon Stewart, Glenn Beck, Bernie Sanders, George Bush, Elizabeth Warren, Mitt Romney, Bill Clinton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Al Gore, John McCain, and Hillary Clinton all agreed on anything?
The date is 20 January 2017.
The date is 20 January 2017. Donald Trump has just been sworn in as President. He walks to the mic for his inauguration speech. He looks at Obama and says "You're Fired"
Honestly, I'm just amazed he managed to pull it off.
When he first ran for president, nobody thought he could do it. When he started gaining in the polls, we all "knew" how it would end. But he showed us we were all wrong.
Congratulations to Barack Obama going eight years without being shot.
Obama is the epitome of why Americans are so racist
Just another soon-to-be unemployed black man, evicted from his house, and living on government money.
Barack Obama and Vladimir Putin went fishing...
After a couple of hours, Obama was flinging his arms around, swatting mosquitos away, while Putin sat there, watching the pond, unbothered.
"How is it, that these bloodsuckers only target my blood reserves?" Asked Obama. "They don't bite you at all!"
Putin smiled knowingly and replied: "They're not allowed to".
Fidel Castro and 11 Presidents
Fidel Castro survived 11
Presidents of the United States
-Eisenhower
-Kennedy
-Johnson
-Nixon
-Ford
-Carter
-Reagan
-Bush
-Clinton
-GW Bush
-Obama
But he couldn't take 15 days of Trump
You know, those people who insult Obama and the Clintons..
really need to stop beating around the Bush.
Bush, Obama, and Trump go on a hunting trip.
Their hunting guide instructs them to find and follow tracks and they should be able to find their quarry.
Bush follows some tracks and gets a bear. Obama follows some tracks and gets a deer.
Trump follows some tracks and gets hit by a train.
I don't see why Obama gave all his speeches behind bulletproof glass..
I know he's black and all but I doubt he'd actually shoot anyone.
I am still waiting for Trump to eat a Snickers ...
... so he becomes Obama again
You're not you when you're hungry
Trump was cleaning his gun in Trump Tower...
Kellyanne Conway walks in and asks,
Kellyanne: "Why do you have a gun?"
Trump: "Obama Spy Drones"
Kellyanne: \*laughs\*
Trump: \*laughs\*
Microwave: \*laughs\*
Trump shoots the Microwave.
The fact that president Obama needs four inches of bullet proof glass at every public speaking event, is proof that racism is still alive
Just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot everyone.
Just last week a smiling Barack Obama overpaid for hot dogs at my stand, but kindly insisted I "keep the change, son, I don't want it"
It was at this moment I realized how far our beloved president had truly fallen.
Trump and Obama having a private conversation in 2012
Trump: Mr. Obama, out of sheer curiosity, what must I need to do in order to be elected President of the United States?
Obama: President?? You have to be s**..., ignorant, probably delusional to think you can be qualified to be the President of the United States!
Trump: Perfect, I will see you on your way out then.
Obama: What???
Has anyone else noticed
During most of the speeches Obama gave, he was behind bullet proof glass? I know he was black and all, but I doubt he would of shot anyone.
Obama care is religious discrimination
We shouldn't try to prevent Americans from being Sikh!
