Oasis Jokes
50 oasis jokes and hilarious oasis puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about oasis that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of hilarious oasis jokes. From one-liners to knock-knock jokes, we've got something for everyone. So sit back, relax, and enjoy a good chuckle.
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Funniest Oasis Short Jokes
Short oasis jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The oasis humour may include short desert jokes also.
- I went to an Oasis gig with my sister in 1995. When they came out onto the stage I shouted, "Go Oasis!"
Then my sister left. - A coworker asked me if I would please quit loudly singing along with my Oasis mix tape this morning. I said maybe...
- It was the mid 1990s, I was stuck in the desert and I thought I could see an Oasis... But it was just a Blur.
- Did you hear Oasis's new song about the attraction and repulsion of atoms? "And after all, you're my Van der Waals"
- Man goes to a burger stand and asks for an Oasis burger The vendor asks what an Oasis burger is. You get a roll with it.
- My girlfriend threatened to dump me over my Oasis obsession and gave me an ultimatum. I said maybe...
- I was record shopping the other day in a hot store with broken A/C... Thought I saw an Oasis album, but it was just a mirage.
- I would like to make a living of making puns about Oasis B-sides. Well that's The Masterplan.
- Just got the 'Oasis' meal deal. A packet of crisps, a bottle of coke and any item from the bakery... ...I got a roll with it.
- Man walks into a restaurant and asks the waiter "what's the special today?" Waiter replies "Oasis soup" - Man: "why is it called Oasis soup?" Waiter replies "cos you get a *roll with it*"
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Oasis One Liners
Which oasis one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with oasis? I can suggest the ones about oxford and paradise.
- My girlfriend said she'd break up with me if I kept singing oasis I said maybe.
- My wife asked me the other day if I knew the song 'Wonderwall' by Oasis I said maybe.
- What does an oasis and your girlfriend have in common They're both hallucinations
- My neighbour asked me to stop playing Oasis songs all night long I said maybe...
- Why do Oasis make the best soup? Because you get a roll with it
- What did the camel say to his sibling when they met for drinks? Oasis.
- Oasis asked me to buy them a Wonderwall I SAID MAYBEEEEE
- What's Orpheus's most hated song? Don't look back in anger by Oasis
- Comedy Central Comedian coming to Taft Ca's Oasis Bar November 14th
- Had the best bowl of soup at an Oasis concert.. ..you got a roll with it.
- My sister constantly keeps water with her. I guess you can call her my oa-sis
- Bought myself some of that "oasis soup" You get a roll with it
- What do you call a tsunami in an Oasis? A Waterwall.
- My friend told me I should stop listening to so much Oasis... I said, "Maybe..."
- When Oasis broke up, my girlfriend was so upset. I told her to stop crying her heart out.
Oasis Songs Jokes
Here is a list of funny oasis songs jokes and even better oasis songs puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My wife asked me to stop singing Oasis songs I said "Hey, this would be a great joke to repost!"
Ridiculous Oasis Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What funny jokes about oasis you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean oyster jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make oasis pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a t**... in an oasis?
A Mirage à t**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two mexicans are stranded in the desert for days....
... and they're at death's door....
They stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something, they suddenly spy through the heat haze a tree off in the distance.
As they get closer, they can see that the tree is draped with s**... after s**... of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy nearly- raw bacon, all sorts.
"Hey, Pepe" says the first hombre. "ees a bacon tree!!! We're saved!!!"
"You're right, amigo!" says Pepe.
So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But as he gets to within five feet of the tree there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets.
His friend quickly drops down on the sand, and calls across to the dying Pepe. "Pepe!! Pepe!! Que pasa hombre?"
With his dying breath Pepe calls out.... "Ugh, run,amigo, run!! ees not a Bacon Tree".......
"ees... a.... Hambush"
I have ranked the greatest musicians of all time in order:
Nelly
Erika Badu
Vanilla Ice
Eminem
Rhianna
Green Day
Oasis
Nirvana
Nine inch Nails
Aerosmith
George Strait
Ilene Woods
Vince Gill
Enya
Yoko ono
Otis Redding
U2
Uncle Kracker
Pappa Roach
It is okay if you disagree just let me know, but first read the first letter of each line only.
The legionnaires
Two French legionnaires are walking through the desert, lost, when they happen across an oasis. One turns to the other and say "look! Zat tree 'as back on eet!" In excitement they run towards the tree but as they approach bullets start striking the ground around them. As they are running off the second turns to the first and says "zat was no bacon tree, zat was an 'am bush"
Two Mexican men have just crossed the border into the U.S.
They are now wandering through the Arizona desert. In short time, they become lost amongst the sand, praying for any sign of civilization. They spend days out there, and are on the verge of death from heat and starvation.
When suddenly, a shining oasis appears before them. The water is crystal clear and it is surrounded with lush foliage. And in the center is one specific tree. It is a majestic plant and from it's branches hang the most unexpected of things.
Bacon. Delicious, crispy bacon. Enough to feed a man for days. Without even thinking, one of the men bolts for the oasis, desperate for food and water. As he reaches the half way point, from behind the tree springs forth a man wielding a machine gun. The poor immigrant is gunned down and lays in the sand, dieing. His friend runs to him and says
> Miguel, are you alright? What happened to you?
To which the man responds, looking up at his friend with his dieing breath
> Pedro, it is not a bacon tree...it is a hambush.
a young lady in a purity group is on a flight that crashes in the desert...
as she's wandering she sees an oasis off the horizon! as she's running to it she comes across two men.
they speak little English but understand enough to know what happened to her. so, one of the men offers her his canteen of water.
she says "oh bless you! but I cannot accept, god has provided me an oasis over the horizon!"
he tries to offer her again but she refuses, says a prayer, and runs off out of sight.
one of the men asks the other, "did she take of your water?"
and he says "no, I think she's saving herself for mirage."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man named Martin is lost in the desert and came upon an oasis.
Upon stumbling into camp and drinking hastily from the well, the sheik of the oasis steps out of the largest tent and orders his guards to arrest him. The sheik explains that Martin has drunk from the precious little water left to the oasis and can either fight to the death with the sheik or dig and dig in the hot desert with no water till he finds another well. Martin, figuring he has no chance of surviving the digging, takes on the sheik.
The sheik, an expert fighter, pities him and offers him a shot of v**... to calm his nerves before facing his death. Martin, in his drunken stupor, takes up the sheik's sword and lops the sheik's head off with no warning. The whole oasis cries out in joy at the death of the tyrannical sheik and informs him that now he had become sheik himself, but Martin had already dozed off and not heard any of it, so they left him alone till he came to.
And on that day, the v**...'d Martin, he was sheik and not stirred.
My wife said I listen to too much oasis, and I need to clean the house more often.
I said maybe.
George was lost and wandering in a desert, when he stumbled upon an oasis...
The oasis was a Jewish man who was selling ties. The man holds up a rack of colourful ties and says, "Hello, sir. May I interest you in purchasing a tie? They are normally ten dollars, but for you, sir, I will only charge five."
Having been wandering for days without a drop of water George promptly replies, "No, I have no use for a tie, but please, sir, do you have any water? I have been wandering for days without a drop to drink."
"I'm afraid I don't have any water to share with you", replies the Jewish man. "But if you continue walking a few hours East, you will find another oasis. At that oasis there is a restaurant. You will be able to get some water there."
George heeds the mans advice and begins walking East, only to return to the oasis of the Jewish man many hours later.
"What's the matter?" Asked the Jewish man. "Did you not find the restaurant?"
George relied, "They wouldn't let me in. I didn't have a tie."
2 Jamaicans are lost in the desert..
After wandering aimlessly for hours, one of the two spots an oasis in the distance. As they draw nearer, the other man spots an odd tree growing at the oasis, a tree with bacon for leaves. He turns to his friend and says "Look man, it's a bacon tree!!". His friend replies " No way man you're hallucinating, that's just a palm tree". The first man leaves his friend and races to the bacon tree as fast as his legs can carry him. But once he reaches the tree, a group of thugs spring out and set upon the lone Jamaican. In the midst of the brawl, the Jamaican shouts to his friend "You were right man, that's no bacon tree: it's a Ham Bush!"
