O B C D...
"That's a grievous sin," the priest says. "Tell me: Was it Mary O'Hara?"
"No, Father."
"Was it Kate Dannaher?"
"No, Father."
"Was it Kathleen McGonigle?"
"No, Father. I don't want to say who it was."
Later, as the boy leaves the church, he sees a friend, who asks him, "How'd it go?"
He answers, "Well, I got ten Hail Marys, five Our Fathers... and three great leads."
A Fort.
B Fort.
C Fort.
D Fort.
E Fort.
G Fort.
H Fort.
I Fort.
J Fort.
K Fort.
L Fort.
M Fort.
N Fort.
O Fort.
P Fort.
Q Fort.
R Fort.
S Fort.
T Fort.
U Fort.
V Fort.
W Fort.
X Fort.
Y Fort.
Z Fort.
I didn't put any F Fort into this joke.
Unfortunately it was a Type-O.
"A man has been arrested after half a million indecent images of children were found at his home in Bradford. Our reporter Gary O'Donoghue has more."
Gary, you filthy bastard.
They couldn't settle on a name, until it hit them!
They named him Ravi O. Lee
Sorry
After being drafted by the St. Louis Rams, Michael Sam celebrated by kissing his boyfriend. This is historic because it's the first time anyone has celebrated being drafted by the St. Louis Rams. - Conan O'brien
Me: I've been playing poker with some blokes.
Wife: Playing poker with some blokes? You can pack your bags and fucking leave.
Me: So can you sweetheart; this ain't our fucking house anymore!
"Why yes, maam, we do."
"D..d...d...do you hh...h..ha..have th...the b..b....bbig ones?"
"Yes maam, we do."
"How d...d....d...do you t...t...turn them o..o...off?
"For God's sake man, put some pants on!"
First, of course, he had to take an eyesight test.
The optician showed him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'
"Can you read this?" the optician asked.
"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."
Rick O'Shea.
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.
First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters
~~'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'~~ 'C Z W I K S N O S T A C Z'
'Can you read this?' the optician asked.
'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'
So he sensibly left his car parked and walked home. As he was staggering along, he was stopped by a policeman.
'What are you doing out here at three o'clock in the morning?' asked the police officer.
'I'm on my way to a lecture,' answered Roger.
'And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time of night?' enquired the constable sarcastically.
'My wife,' slurred Roger grimly.
They both turn o into an O .
The bartender tells him, "I used to have a stutter too. Then one day, my wife gave me head, and from that point on I was cured!" The guy gets really excited and runs out the door without ever getting his beer.
The next day, the guy walks back into the bar and says, "O-o-one b-b-beer, p-please."
The bartender asks him, "It didn't work, huh?"
The guy says, "N-n-nope. B-but y-your h-h-house is r-r-really n-n-nice."
A man is walking through the woods when he sees a bear charging at him. He books it, but he knows he can't outrun a bear for long, so he starts praying: "Dear Lord, I beseech thee. Please, o Lord, please let this bear be a Christian!" The bear catches up to him, knocks him down on the ground, then gets on its knees and says: "Dear Lord, thank you for this food I am about to receive..."
"We have some terrible news about your beloved husband, he fell into a vat of beer and drowned."
"Oh my poor Patrick" she moaned "At least he died a sudden death and didn't suffer."
"Well I don't know about that Mrs. O'Mally, he got out three times to go pee."
they both turn your "o" into an "O"
Me: What's your name?
Ouija Board: I H A V E A B O Y F R I E N D
A drunk walks up to a guy. says to him, " I am God."
The guy says," Go away, you are drunk."
"I can prove it to you, if you want" said the drunk.
"O really! Then prove it."
The drunk went up to a door and knocked on it thrice, three times. The door opened, and a woman came out,
"Oh God, not you again. Go away!"
-A E I O U
But first, of course, he had to take an eyesight test.
The optician shows him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z'
"Can you read this?" the optician asked.
"Read it?" replies the Polish man, "I went to school with the guy!"
I guess you can call it a typo.
When the man gets worse, a nurse goes running to the doctor, saying "We gave him the wrong blood!"
The doctor responds "Ah, must've been a Type-O!"
She gave a slight glance towards me and She started walking faster, so I walked faster.
She started running, so I started running.
She started screaming, so I started screaming.
I was too scared to look behind and never did find out what we were running away from.
All the others are in audible.
Paddy O'Furniture.
Happy St. Patrick's Day!
Type-O
*Y*
*O*
*U*
*U*
*U*
*U*
*U*
Dammit this is a Soulja board
But it was a type O.
Paddy O'furniture
A young Irish boy is stood crying at the side of the road. A man asks him What's wrong wid ya laddie? The boy says Me ma is dead . Oh bejaysus the man says Do you want me to call Father O' Riley for you ? The boy replies No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.
Put that thing away, there are kids here.
Type O.
Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about O And O? Well, here are the best O And O dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and O And O pick up lines to share with friends.