o and o Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious o and o puns

Your mom is so fat she starts the alphabet with the letter "O"...

O B C D...

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Boy goes to confession and tells the priest he has been with a girl of loose morals.

"That's a grievous sin," the priest says. "Tell me: Was it Mary O'Hara?"

"No, Father."

"Was it Kate Dannaher?"

"No, Father."

"Was it Kathleen McGonigle?"

"No, Father. I don't want to say who it was."

Later, as the boy leaves the church, he sees a friend, who asks him, "How'd it go?"

He answers, "Well, I got ten Hail Marys, five Our Fathers... and three great leads."

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A List of Forts.

A Fort.

B Fort.

C Fort.

D Fort.

E Fort.

G Fort.

H Fort.

I Fort.

J Fort.

K Fort.

L Fort.

M Fort.

N Fort.

O Fort.

P Fort.

Q Fort.

R Fort.

S Fort.

T Fort.

U Fort.

V Fort.

W Fort.

X Fort.

Y Fort.

Z Fort.

I didn't put any F Fort into this joke.

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My grandfather died because the medical report said he had Type A blood.

Unfortunately it was a Type-O.

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I was watching the news this morning when the presenter said..

"A man has been arrested after half a million indecent images of children were found at his home in Bradford. Our reporter Gary O'Donoghue has more."

Gary, you filthy bastard.

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A boy was born of an Indian, Chinese, Irish, and Italian grandmother...

They couldn't settle on a name, until it hit them!

They named him Ravi O. Lee

Sorry

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A Michael Sam joke

After being drafted by the St. Louis Rams, Michael Sam celebrated by kissing his boyfriend. This is historic because it's the first time anyone has celebrated being drafted by the St. Louis Rams. - Conan O'brien

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Wife: Where the hell have you been? It's 3 o'clock in the morning?

Me: I've been playing poker with some blokes.

Wife: Playing poker with some blokes? You can pack your bags and fucking leave.

Me: So can you sweetheart; this ain't our fucking house anymore!

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A woman walks into a sex shop and asks the man at the counter, "D..d..d..do y..y...you hav..hav...have vi..vi...vibrators?", she says stuttering

"Why yes, maam, we do."

"D..d...d...do you hh...h..ha..have th...the b..b....bbig ones?"

"Yes maam, we do."

"How d...d....d...do you t...t...turn them o..o...off?

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What did the letter O say to the letter Q?

"For God's sake man, put some pants on!"

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A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license

First, of course, he had to take an eyesight test.


The optician showed him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'


"Can you read this?" the optician asked.


"Read it?" the Polish guy replied, "I know the guy."

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What do you call a bulletproof Irishman?

Rick O'Shea.

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The Polish eye exam.

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.
First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters

~~'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'~~ 'C Z W I K S N O S T A C Z'

'Can you read this?' the optician asked.

'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'

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Roger decided he was in no shape to drive as he walked out of the bar

So he sensibly left his car parked and walked home. As he was staggering along, he was stopped by a policeman.

'What are you doing out here at three o'clock in the morning?' asked the police officer.

'I'm on my way to a lecture,' answered Roger.

'And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time of night?' enquired the constable sarcastically.

'My wife,' slurred Roger grimly.

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What do prison and the Caps Lock button have in common?

They both turn o into an O .

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A guy walks into a bar and says, "O-o-one b-b-beer, p-please."

The bartender tells him, "I used to have a stutter too. Then one day, my wife gave me head, and from that point on I was cured!" The guy gets really excited and runs out the door without ever getting his beer.

The next day, the guy walks back into the bar and says, "O-o-one b-b-beer, p-please."

The bartender asks him, "It didn't work, huh?"

The guy says, "N-n-nope. B-but y-your h-h-house is r-r-really n-n-nice."

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Joke my mom just told me when I asked her why she never tells any jokes

A man is walking through the woods when he sees a bear charging at him. He books it, but he knows he can't outrun a bear for long, so he starts praying: "Dear Lord, I beseech thee. Please, o Lord, please let this bear be a Christian!" The bear catches up to him, knocks him down on the ground, then gets on its knees and says: "Dear Lord, thank you for this food I am about to receive..."

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Two Irish men came down to give Mrs. O'Mally some bad news.

"We have some terrible news about your beloved husband, he fell into a vat of beer and drowned."
"Oh my poor Patrick" she moaned "At least he died a sudden death and didn't suffer."
"Well I don't know about that Mrs. O'Mally, he got out three times to go pee."

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What do prison and the shift key have in common

they both turn your "o" into an "O"

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Me: *Playing Ouija board*

Me: What's your name?

Ouija Board: I H A V E A B O Y F R I E N D

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A drunk walks up to a guy...

A drunk walks up to a guy. says to him, " I am God."

The guy says," Go away, you are drunk."

"I can prove it to you, if you want" said the drunk.

"O really! Then prove it."

The drunk went up to a door and knocked on it thrice, three times. The door opened, and a woman came out,

"Oh God, not you again. Go away!"

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A guy with the nickname E saved my life, so now when I see him I say-

-A E I O U

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A Polish immigrant goes to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.

But first, of course, he had to take an eyesight test.

The optician shows him a card with the letters: 'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z'

"Can you read this?" the optician asked.

"Read it?" replies the Polish man, "I went to school with the guy!"

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TIL Type O blood was actually meant to be Type Zero blood, due to lack of glycoproteins in the red blood cells. It was misread as type "O".

I guess you can call it a typo.

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A man is rushed to the hospital and is given blood.

When the man gets worse, a nurse goes running to the doctor, saying "We gave him the wrong blood!"

The doctor responds "Ah, must've been a Type-O!"

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I was walking behind a woman at 3 o'clock in the morning after a night out.

She gave a slight glance towards me and She started walking faster, so I walked faster.

She started running, so I started running.

She started screaming, so I started screaming.

I was too scared to look behind and never did find out what we were running away from.

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Why is "o" the noisiest vowel?

All the others are in audible.

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What's green and sits on the porch?

Paddy O'Furniture.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

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What blod type am I?

Type-O

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*Using Ouija board* Hello is anyone there?

*Y*

*O*

*U*

*U*

*U*

*U*

*U*


Dammit this is a Soulja board

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They told me i had type A blood.

But it was a type O.

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What's Irish and stays out on your deck?

Paddy O'furniture

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An young Irish boy

A young Irish boy is stood crying at the side of the road. A man asks him What's wrong wid ya laddie? The boy says Me ma is dead . Oh bejaysus the man says Do you want me to call Father O' Riley for you ? The boy replies No tanks mister, sex is the last ting on my mind at the moment.

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What did O say to Q?

Put that thing away, there are kids here.

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Which blood type was created by mistake?

Type O.

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What are the most funny O And O jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about O And O? Well, here are the best O And O dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and O And O pick up lines to share with friends.

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