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Nut And Run Jokes

27 nut and run jokes and hilarious nut and run puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about nut and run that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Nut And Run Short Jokes

Short nut and run jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The nut and run humour may include short nut and leave jokes also.

  1. Leprechauns Why are leprechauns always laughing when they're running?
    Because the grass is tickling their nuts
  2. Why do midgets laugh while running through the yard? Because the grass tickles their nuts...
  3. The biggest joke of 2015.. When you have Donald Trump, Hilary Clinton, and Deez Nuts running for President.
  4. A guy frantically runs into a therapist's office wearing nothing but seran wrap underwear. The therapist takes one look at him and says "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."
  5. A man runs out of a forest and into a bar, yelling: the squirrels are after me, they think I'm nuts!
  6. Lunatic escapes from an asylum, goes to a launderette where he rapes three women before running off into the woods. Next morning's newspaper headlines read.... # **NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS**

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Nut And Run One Liners

Which nut and run one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with nut and run? I can suggest the ones about nut and bolt and honey nut.

  1. What did one nut say to the other nut as it was running away? I'm a cashew.
  2. I just saw a chipmunk running around Walmart... His savings were nuts!
  3. Did you hear who Deez Nuts is picking as a running mate? Shaft.
  4. I have a problem with running away from relationships after s**.... I just nut and bolt.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about nut and run can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of nut and run puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Nut And Run Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about nut and run you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean nuts and bolts jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make nut and run prank.

A cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man running around and waving his arms wildly. "Captain," one of the passenger asks, "who is that man over there?"

"I have no idea," the captain says, "but he goes nuts every year when we pass him."

A cruise ship is sailing in the Caribbean..

The cruise ship passes by a remote island, and all the passengers see a bearded man with an eyepatch running around and waving his arms wildly.
Captain, one passenger asks, who is that man over there?
I have no idea, the captain says, but he goes nuts every year when we pass him.

My grandpa's favorite joke

A man runs into a psychiatrist's office exclaiming that he has gone crazy. The psychiatrist asks this random fellow why he thinks he is crazy, to which the man retorts, "I've been wearing cellophane underwear for the past week!" The psychiatrist, in slight disbelief, asks the man to prove it. The man swiftly pulls down his trousers to reveal that he was wearing home-made cellophane underwear. After a moment of examination, the psychiatrist exclaims, "I can clearly see you're nuts!"

A man runs into an old salty sea captain on the docks of Boston harbor and says,

"Cap'm, can't help but noticin'...you got a steerin' wheel secures to yer c**... there." Sea captain removes the pipe from 'tween his teeth and says, "Aye. It's drivin' me nuts."

Squirrel runs into a bar...

Says, " Hey bartender, you got any nuts?"
Bartender says, "Get out of here you squirrel "
Next day squirrel runs into the same bar, says " Hey bartender you got any nuts?"
Bartender says, " Get out of here squirrel, we don't serve your kind here. If I see you in here again, I'll nail your a**... to the wall!"
Next day the squirrel run into the bar and says, " Hey bartender, you got any nails?"
Bartender says, " I ain't got any nails!"
Squirrel says, " Then do you got any nuts?"

A man runs into a bar

A man runs into a bar, dashing through the doors, wearing absolutely nothing but a sheet of plastic wrap covering his entire body. The bartender stares at the man and says, "I can clearly see your nuts."

Three old guys are sitting around talking.

One subject leads to another, when the subject of pain comes up.
First guy says "you ever zipped your f**... into your jeans? That's pain.."
Second guy, "that's not pain, you ever had the t**... and went to jump on the toilet in a hurry and trapped one of your nuts between your leg and the toilet seat??"
Third guy says "That's nothing, you ever been out in the woods hunting, went to go squat behind a tree to do some business, and accidentally dropped your nuts on to a bear trap?"
First two fellas cringe, interrupt, and start agreeing that's probably the most painful thing they've heard.
Third guy, "that's not pain... Pain is when you run out of chain."

3 convicts escape from prison...

They hear the guards and dogs chasing them so they decide to run up a stand of trees. the guards come to the first tree with the dogs and say "hey! anyone up there?" The convict thinks for a second then goes "meow" the guards thinking its just a cat and continue along with the dogs.
they come up to the second tree and again ask "anyone up there?" to which the convict replies with "c**...-a-doodle-do" and the guards think its just a chicken and continue on.
The guards come up to the third three with the dogs just baying like mad and think they must be nuts but still say "anyone up there?" To which the convict replies "mooo!"

Joe wakes up to a noise on the roof...

...so he goes outside and sees that a bear has climbed up on top of his house. Joe runs inside and calls the first pest control number he sees in the phone book. The man on the other end says that he can remove the bear no problem and will be there shortly. 30 minutes later the man pulls up in a truck. Joe watches the man unload a big cage, a ladder, a shovel, a shotgun, and the biggest German Shepard Joe has ever seen. He asks the man what his plan is to get the bear off the roof. The man says that he will climb up the ladder and using the shovel will scare the bear off the roof. When the bear hits the ground the dog will grab it by the nuts and drag him into the cage. Joe says "that sounds like quite the plan but what is the gun for". The man says "if the bear knocks me off the roof then shoot the f!@#ing dog"

Need help finding the punchline to a joke!!

So i remember reading this joke (or antijoke) where 100 nuns are travelling and decide to stop at the inn for the night. The clerk says they only have room for 50 so the nuns say "its okay, 50 will sleep inside and 50 will sleep outside". The next morning, the 50 nuns that slept outside are all dead, blood everywhere and theres a crazy monk running away with a chainsaw. The nuns decide to carry on and stop at the next inn. The clerk tells them they only have room for 25 so the nuns say "its okay, 25 will sleep inside and 25 will sleep outside". The next morning.......and the joke goes on like that until there's only 2 nuns left and I CAN'T REMEMBER THE PUNCHLINE UGHHH!! Someone please help, it's driving me nuts!!

Heading to market

Little Johnny's mom sends him out to the store for some nuts so she can make brownies. On the way to the store, little johnny witnesses a horrendous car accident in which a car explodes with a man still inside. Stunned by what he jus saw he runs all the way home to tell his mom. He runs in and says, "Mom there was this giant accident!!! This guy was trapped in a car and it exploded! His body parts went everywhere! His arm flew this way and his leg the other way it was intense!" To which his mom replies, "And the nuts!?" "O I don't know where they went.."
Joke I heard when I was kid, sorry if repost or if the wording is a bit off, its been a while.

The City-Slicker and the Farmer

One year, a man who lived in the city decided to try his hand at deer hunting. He bought all the the necessary equipment, a license, and a rifle and headed out to the gamelands a good distance away from the city.

After a full day's hunting, the man spots a gorgeous buck and manages to make a clean shot. The deer runs for awhile and drops dead right in a farmer's yard. When the man goes to retrieve the deer the farmer meets him and claims that the deer is now his because it's on his land. "What are you talking about?! It took me all day to take this buck!"

The farmer looks at the man, who is obviously from the city. "Tell you what. We'll compete for it. We'll take turns k**... each other in the nuts until one of us gives up. The winner gets the deer." The man, not wanting to go home empty handed, timidly agrees.

The farmer immediately hauls back and lands a kick right in the man's groin, collapsing him. The man writhes in pain on the ground for about a minute and slowly stands up. "Okay, my turn."

The farmer says, "Nah that's ok. You can have the deer." He turns around and walks back into his house.

A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game.
For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands.
When the day of the game arrived.
Everything went quite well.
As the National Anthem started, the doctor yelled, "Up Nuts", and the patients complied by standing up.
After the anthem, he yelled, "Down Nuts", and they all sat back down in their seats.
After a home run was hit, the doctor yelled, "Cheer Nuts."
They all broke out into applause and cheered.
When the umpire made a particularly bad call against the star of the home team, the Doctor yelled, "Booooo Nuts" and they all started booing and cat calling.
Comfortable with their response, the doctor decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge.
When he turned, there was a riot in progress.
Finding his tizzied assistant, the doctor asked, "What in the world happened?"
The assistant replied, "Well everything was going just fine until this guy walked by and yelled, 'peanuts'".

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these nut and run jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.