Nursing Assistant Jokes
7 nursing assistant jokes and hilarious nursing assistant puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about nursing assistant that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Delightful Fun Nursing Assistant Jokes for a Roaring Good Time
What is a good nursing assistant joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A nursing assistant, a floor nurse and a charge nurse from a small nursing home were taking a lunch break in the break room.
In walks a lady dressed in silk scarves and wearing large polished-stone jewelry.
"I am Gina the Great," stated the lady. "I am so pleased with the way you have taken care of my aunt that I will now grant the next three wishes!"
With a wave of her hand and a puff of smoke, the room was filled with flowers, fruit and bottles of drink, proving that she did have the power to grant wishes before any of the nurses could think otherwise.
The nurses quickly argued among themselves as to which one would ask for the first wish.
Speaking up, the nursing assistant wished first. "I wish I were on a tropical island beach, with single, well-built men feeding me fruit and tending to my every need."
With a puff of smoke, the nursing assistant was gone.
The floor nurse went next. "I wish I were rich and retired, and spending my days in my own warm cabin at a ski resort with well-groomed men feeding me cocoa and doughnuts."
With a puff of smoke, she too was gone.
"Now, what is the last wish?" asked the lady.
The charge nurse said, "I want those two back on the floor at the end of the lunch break."
A proctologist is in the middle of an examination when he turns around and sees his assistant holding a bottle of beer.
He goes: No nurse, I said b**...-Light
Patient to visit Doctor
A doctors nurse's assistance says to him "You have a patient who believes he is invisible." The doctor turns to her and tells her "Tell him I can't see him today."
We moved my 87 year old grandma into a nursing facility run by nuns
It's assistered living
An active and successful widowed man finds himself at the end of his days in an upscale assisted living home.
His consoling and rich friends came to spend the last days with the man. While he was still coherent, they decide to hire him a h**... for a final hurrah.
They make the arrangements and the beautiful bubbly woman arrives at the nursing home for the assist a while later. She tells the man Your friends sent me here to give you some super s**...!
The man contemplated a bit and carefully replies to the woman I think I'll have the soup.
Are my t**... black?
A man is in an accident and is placed on an oxygen mask to assist his breathing.
His nurse checks on him and asks if there is anything he needs?
He say yes, could you check if my t**... are black?
She thinks, that is an odd request but decides to check for him as he looks very nervous.
She looks at his t**..., flips them left and right and even rolls them in her hand to get a good look.
After a few seconds she puts the sheet back down and notices the man smiling. She says to him,"no sir your t**... are fine. Why are you smiling?"
He simply points at the mask, which she removes and he replies,"i just wanted to thank you for that experience, it was wonderful. But, are my test results back?"
The embarrassed s**... active middle aged woman
A s**... active middle aged woman informed her plastic surgeon that she wanted her v**... lips reduced in size because, over the years they have become loose and floppy.
Out of embarrassment, she insisted that the surgery be kept secret and, of course, the surgeon agreed.
Awakening from the anesthesia, she found 3 roses carefully placed beside her on the bed.
Outraged, she immediately called in the surgeon.
"I thought I specifically asked you not to tell anyone about my operation"!
The surgeon told her he had carried out her wish for confidentiality and
that the first rose was from him.
"I felt so sad for you, because you went through this all by yourself."
"The second rose is from my nurse. She assisted me in the surgery and
understood perfectly, as she had the same procedure done some time ago."
"And what about the third rose?" the woman asked.
"That's from a man in the burns unit -
he wanted to thank you for his new ears!"
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