Nuns Jokes
162 nuns jokes and hilarious nuns puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about nuns that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Laugh along with this collection of hilarious and lighthearted jokes about two nuns, three nuns, a monastery, a flasher, and a trenchcoat. Enjoy a good chuckle that is sure to delight friends and family alike.
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- Short Nuns Jokes
- Nuns One Liners
- Two Nuns Jokes
- Three Nuns Jokes
- Nuns In Heaven Jokes
- 3 Nuns Jokes
- More Nuns Jokes
Funniest Nuns Short Jokes
Short nuns jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The nuns humour may include short nun convent jokes also.
- Guy runs into a bar, yells "Quick! How tall is a penguin?" Bartender says "Three feet tall."
Guy says "Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!" - A man runs into a bar and shouts, Quick! How tall is a penguin?! The bartender says, Depends. Less than 3 feet.
The man cries out, Oh my God! I just drove over a nun! - Two nuns went on a bike ride... ...and one says to the other, as they turn down a side street
"I've never come this way before!"
And the other replies
"yes! It's the cobblestones!" - Nun joke Two nuns were bicycling down an old dirt road on the countryside. One nun says, "I've never come this way before." The other replies, "It's the cobblestones."
- Two nuns are riding bicycles through the streets of Rome. "I've never come this way before" says the first nun.
The second nun replies: "It's the cobblestones." - Two nuns are riding down a street on bikes One says to the other "I've never come this way before."
The other smiles and says "neither have I. Must be the cobblestones." - Who won the race between the priest and the nun? It was the priest, because he "pastor" a while back.
I just came up with this one at the breakfast table for those who are curious. - My favourite way to dress is all in black. My sense of fashion is second to nun.
I'll show myself out. - Did you hear about the nun who was caught with cannabis sewn into her robe? She had a drug habit.
- A pair of Scottish nuns were riding in a cab in Edinburgh, and one turned to the other saying, "I've never come this way before." The other nun smiled and said... "Aye, it's the cobblestones."
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Nuns One Liners
Which nuns one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with nuns? I can suggest the ones about catholic nun and nun habit.
- What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin' Catholic
- What do you call a nun who walks in her sleep? Roman Catholic.
- What do you call a flying nun? A bird? A plane?
Nope, nun of the above - How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like a choir boy.
- what kind of meat does a priest eat on fridays? Nun.
- What do you call two nuns playing a bongo? A conundrum.
- Did you hear about the nun who procrastinated doing her laundry? She had a filthy habit
- The word nun is just the letter n... ...doing a forward roll.
- What happens when you make a noise in Ninja Church? The nun chucks you out.
- What does a teenager with a lisp and a nun have in common? Faith book
- Why do Nuns always wear Black & White? No particular reason, it's just a habit they have.
- The word "nun" is just the letter "n"... ...doing a somersault.
- Why was the nun hooked up to an IV of holy water? She was taking god's name in vein.
- What do you call a nun stuck in a tornado? Twisted Sister.
- What did the nun wear to the casino? Her gambling habit.
Two Nuns Jokes
Here is a list of funny two nuns jokes and even better two nuns puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Two nuns went for a bike ride and ride down a cobble stone street One says I haven't come this way before.
The other says neither have I just hold on and enjoy it - Two nuns go out for a bike ride They wander through the old part of town.
One nun says, "I've never come this way before."
The other nun says, "It's the cobblestones." - Two nuns are biking down a cobblestone path... ...when one nun says to the other, "I've never come this way before."
The other nun replies, "Must be the cobblestones." - Two nuns are cycling down the Royal Mile in Edinburgh.... "One says, "I've never come this way before."
The other says, "Me neither. It must be the cobblestones." - Two Nuns are riding their bicycles down the back streets of Rome . One leans over to the other and says, "I've never come this way before." The other Nun whispers, "It's the cobblestones."
- A Priest, a Rabbi, a Nun, two gorillas, a leopard, a horse, two turtles, and a dragonfly walk into a bar. Bartender yells, What is this, some sort of joke?
- Two nuns are riding bikes downtown Two nuns are riding bikes downtown. One looks around and says, "I don't think I've ever come this way before."
The other nun says, "It's the cobblestone." - Two nuns... Are cycling the cobbles streets of Paris together.
One turns to the other and says, I've never come this way before .
The other replies, Neither have I but it feels great! - What do you call a couple of nuns and a blonde? Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
- Two nuns riding Down a cobbled road on bicycles. First one says to the other, "I've never come this way before." The other nun replies, "neither have i, it's probably the cobbles."
Three Nuns Jokes
Here is a list of funny three nuns jokes and even better three nuns puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Three Nuns Walked Into A Bar The fourth one ducked.
- So there are three nuns walking down the street and a streaker runs by... The first nun has a s**..., the second nun has a s**..., but the third, the third nun doesn't touch him.
- Three nuns are sitting on a bench when a f**... revealed himself to them. The first nun had a s**..., the second nun had a s**..., and the third nun couldn't reach.
- Three nuns are sitting in the park... ...when a man comes up and flashes them.
The first nun has a second s**..., the second nun has a s**..., but the third couldn't quite reach it. - Three nuns are at a bus stop A man walks up and flashes them.
The first two have a s**..., and the other can't reach. - Three nuns are sitting on a park bench. Then a man comes up and exposes himself to them. Two of them have a s**.... But the third one couldn't reach
- Three nuns are sitting on a park bench when a male streaker runs by. The first nun had a s**....
The second nun had a s**....
But the third nun was too far away and couldn't reach. - Three nuns are sitting on a park bench when a f**... comes by and opens his trench coat. The first two nuns each had a s**.... The third nun couldn't reach.
- Three nuns sitting on a park bench. n**... man runs by. Two had a s**....
The other couldn't reach. - Three nuns in the park Three nuns are sitting on a park bench. Guy in a trenchcoat runs up and flashes them. First one had a s**.... Second one had a s**.... Third one never touched him.
Nuns In Heaven Jokes
Here is a list of funny nuns in heaven jokes and even better nuns in heaven puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What do you call a nun who's gone to Heaven? Nun of the above.
- What do you call a woman of the cloth up in heaven Nun of the above
- A nun died and went up heaven But It was the bus driver
3 Nuns Jokes
Here is a list of funny 3 nuns jokes and even better 3 nuns puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A nun, 3 penguins, and a guy with a parrot on his shoulder walk into a bar The bartender says, what is this? a joke?
- 3 nuns are flashed by a pervert in a trench coat 2 of them had a s**.... The other one didn't want to touch it.
- 3 little old nuns are sitting on a park bench when a f**... flashes them the first nun has a s**...,
the second nun has a s**...,
the third nun couldn't reach - 3 nuns are sitting on a bench. A man in a trench coat walks by and flashes them. 2 of the nuns had a s**.... The third couldn't reach.
- My friends favorite 3 nuns are sitting on a bench when a man runs up and flashes them.
The first nun had a s**....
The second nun had a s**....
The third nun couldn't reach. - 3 nuns are walking down a street when A man suddenly jumps out and flashes them. The first nun has a s**.... The second one also has a s**.... The third nun doesn't touch him.
Fun-Filled Nuns Jokes to Make You and Your Friends Chuckle & Giggle
What funny jokes about nuns you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean priest and nun jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make nuns pranks.
Two nuns go on a bike ride through town...
As they ride through an alley, the younger nun turns to the elder and says, "I've never come this way before!"
The elder nun replies, "That's because it's cobblestones, dear."
ba-dum CHING. My granny told me that one this weekend.
Three Nuns
Three Nuns are walking down an alley after church.
A man jumps out in a trench coat and exposes himself to them.
The first Nun has a s**....
The second Nun has a s**....
But the third Nun doesn't touch him.
nuns have desires too
two nuns were riding their bicycles through the back streets and alleys of rome.
one turns to the other and says, "i've never come this way before".
the other nun says, "it's the cobblestones".
Three nuns at the pearly gates with St. Peter.
St. Peter tells the nuns, "since you've all dedicated your lives to God, we will let you go back and live as anyone you'd like to."
The first nun says, "I'd like to be Mother Theresa", and Peter says, "No problem."
The second nun says, "I'd like to return as Princess Diana", and Peter says, "Sure thing."
The third nun says, "I'd like to be Sarah Pippilini." St. Peter says, "I'm sorry sister but I don't know who that is." The nun holds up a newspaper and points to the headline.
St. Peter laughs and says, "No, no sister that doesn't say 'Sarah Pippilini'; it says 'Sahara Pipeline laid by 500 men in 7 days'."
The Two Nuns and the Blind man.
There were once two nuns taking a bath together when all of a sudden they hear a knock at the door.
"Who is it?" yells out one of the nuns.
"It's me, the blind man." replies the man at the door.
"Ok, come on up." calls the second nun.
A short moment later, they heard the footsteps up the staircase and soon the door to the bathroom opened.
"Oh, hello Sisters. I like your new towels. Now where do you want the blinds?"
Bu dum tss
Three nuns were talking...
The first nun said, "I was cleaning the father's room the other day and do you know what I found? A bunch of pornographic magazines!"
"What did you do?" the other nuns asked.
"Well, of course I threw them all in the trash."
The second nun said, "Well, yesterday, I was in the father's room putting away the laundry and I found a bunch of condoms."
"Oh my," gasped the other nuns. "What did you do?" they asked.
"I poked holes in all of them," she replied.
The third nun said, "Oh s**...."
Three nuns
Sisters Anne, Mary, and Teresa are driving across the country when they are in a car c**... and all die tragically.
In heaven, the three of them are standing in front of the pearly gates and St. Peter is standing before them. He says to them, "Sisters, I understand that you are all women of faith, and I would be more than happy to let you into heaven without hesitation, but as it is the rules, I must ask you each one question that you must answer correctly before I can let you enter"
The nuns all agree and Sister Anne steps forward first.
"Sister Anne, what was the name of the first man?"
She barely misses a beat before announcing happily "Adam!"
*Gong!*
The gates open and she enters.
Sister Mary then steps forward and St. Peter asks her, "Sister Mary, what is the name of the first woman?"
"Eve!"
*Gong!*
The gates open and Sister Mary enters heaven.
St. Peter then addresses Sister Teresa, "Teresa, what is the first thing that Eve said when she saw Adam?"
Sister Teresa thinks for a minute... two minutes... three minutes.. then mutters to herself "That's a hard one..."
*Gong!*
Curing a nuns hiccups
A nurse is going to work, walking through the hospitals parking lot, when a nun runs past her, screaming and crying. The nurse approaches the doctor standing in the doorway and asks, "What's wrong with that nun?" "Oh," the doctors says, "I told her she was pregnant." "Oh, so she's pregnant?" "No, but it share cured her hiccups."
Why do nuns wear fancy l**...?
Sheer habit.
Three nuns are walking through a park
A man in a trench coat walks up and flashes them. Such was the shock that the first nun had a s**..., then the second nun had a s**... but the third nun just couldn't bring herself to touch it.
Three nuns die in a car accident. They arrive at the pearly gates...
...and St. Peter greets them, "welcome to heaven sisters! Before I let you in I have to ask you each a question that you must answer to be accepted into heaven."
The first nun steps up, and St. Peter asks, "who is the son of god?" The nun says, "that's easy. Jesus." The gates open, and she strolls into heaven.
The second one steps up. "Who is Jesus' mother?" She answers, "Mary," and the gates open.
The third nun steps up, and he asks, "What was the first thing Eve said to Adam?" The nun looks flustered, and she says, "that's a really hard one..." And the gates open.
Three nuns were talking about their chores...
Three nuns were talking about their chores. The first nun says: "I was putting away father's laundry, when i found some pornographic magazines in his drawer!"
"So what did you do?" The second nun asks.
"I threw them away." The first nun replies.
The second nun scoffs and says she can top that. "When I was making father's bed, I found some condoms underneath his pillow!"
"So what did you do?" The first nun asks.
"I poked holes in all of them!" The second nun exclaims.
The third nun fainted.
Two nuns on a bike ride in Philadelphia
Two nuns are on a bide ride through Philadelphia, the first nun says to the second, "Make a right turn here, I know a short cut". After a few minutes the second nun says, "I've never come this way before". The first replies, "I know, it's the cobblestones"
2 nuns take a shortcut
2 nuns are riding bicycles through the Vatican and they decide to take a shortcut down a cobblestone street. The first nun says to the second, "I've never come this way before." The second nun replies to the first, "Nor have I. It must be the cobblestones."
A joke a Jewish speaker at my Catholic college told the student body in front of a bunch of nuns
So a man walks into confession and says "Forgive me father, for I have sinned". The priest says "What have you done, my son?"
"I'm 72 and just had s**... with two 25 year olds" he claimed.
"Are you kidding?!" the priest said. "You can't do that. 100 Hail Mary's and run around the church 1000 times. By the way is this your first confession?"
"Yes I've never been to confession before. I'm Jewish."
"If you are Jewish why are you telling me this?" begged the priest.
"I'm telling everybody"
Three nuns are talking about their gardens, one of them is deaf.
The first nun said "the cucumbers are growing fairly well, they're this big" and showed them how big it is with her hands.
The second nun said "that's great! The carrots are doing great too, they're this big" and showed them how big it is with her hands.
The deaf nun shouts "which priest you talking about?"
Three nuns are talking after having cleaned the priest's desk.
The first one says "I found n**... pictures on his desk so I tore them".
The second one says "good for you sister. I found condoms in his drawer so I put holes in them".
The third nun fainted.
The Elusive Midget Nun
Two Eskimos, a big one and a little one, walk up to the convent door. The big one nudges the little one and says, Go ahead, knock on the door, knock on the door.
The Mother Superior answers the door. Again, the big Eskimo nudges the little one and says, Go ahead, ask her the question, ask her the question.
The little Eskimo timidly says, May we speak with the midget nun that lives here please?
The Mother Superior answers, There are no midget nuns living here.
The big Eskimo starts nudging the little one again and says, Go ahead, ask her the other question, ask her the other question.
The little Eskimo asks in a quavering voice, Well, are there any midget nuns in Alaska?
The Mother Superior responds uncertainly, I know most of the nuns in Alaska and I don't believe so.
With this the big Eskimo falls down and rolls on the ground, clutching his belly as he laughs uncontrollably. See, he says to the little Eskimo, I told you that you s**... a penguin!
Two nuns
Two nuns are sitting on a bench. A guy in a trench coat comes up and flashes them. One of the nuns has a s**.... The other couldn't quite reach.
Three nuns are gossiping about a priest.
The first nun said, "I was going through father's desk and found pornographic magazines in his drawer."
The second nun gasped and asked, "What did you do with them?"
"I burned them."
The second nun then said, "I was going through father's drawers and found a box of condoms."
The first nun gasped and asked, "What did you do with them?"
"I poked holes in them."
The third nun fainted.
2 nuns were smoking when it started to rain...
The first nun takes out a c**... and cuts off the end and slides it over her cigarette and continues smoking.
The second nun notices that it is keeping the first nuns cigarette dry and asks "where'd you get that?"
"From the Pharmacy" replied the first nun.
So the second nun heads down to the pharmacy and asks the clerk for a pack of condoms.
"What size do you need" asked the clerk.
The nun replied - "Large enough to fit a Camel"
Two nuns sare coming back from the market late at night
- "Sister Andrea, it's already dark and we are still quite fare from the covent"
- "Yes Sister Dulce and did you notice that a man is following us??"
- "Yes! and what do you think he wants ?"
- "logical, rapes us... what should we do??"
- "logical: we split way, you on the left me on the right"
The man starts following Sister Dulce. Sister Andrea arrives to the Covent, and is worried because Sister Dulce is not arrived yet. After 1 hour here she comes.
- "What happened??"
- "Well I started running and obviously as did the man"
- "and??"
- "Logical: he reached me.."
- "Oh dear god! And what did you do??"
- "Logical: I lifted my dress up"
- "And what did he do??"
- "Logical: He dropped his pants"
- "god.... and??"
- "Logical no? A nun with her dressed up runs faster than a man with his pants down"
ps: Sorry my english is not my first language :)
2 nuns are driving down a dark road..
.. when suddenly a vampire jumps out in front of the car, and forces them to stop.
He climbs onto the car and starts looking hungrily at them.
"What should we do?" - asks one nun
"Show him your cross!" - replies the other.
so the nun shouts : "Get off my f**king car!!"
A naive young priest is sent to New York City...
... and while waking through the park is approached by a s**...-clad p**....
"Hey father, how about some head, only ten bucks!"
He doesn't understand but is so embarrassed he just mumbles "no thank you" and hurries Back to the church.
Thinking about the encounter later he asks one of the nuns, "hey sister what's 'head'?
"Ten bucks same as in the park."
Two old nuns are sitting on a park bench.
A man runs up to them in a trench coat, opens it wide and flashes them. One of the nuns immediately had a s**.... The other couldn't quite reach.
Two nuns are walking through a forest...
...when two men catch them and s**... them n**... before r**... them.
One of the nuns starts praying: "God, please forgive them, as they don't know what they're doing!"
To which the other nun says: "This one does!"
A group of nuns are biking one day...
and every bump they hit they all giggle. Finally the head nun turns around and yells, "Ladies, if you don't stop that laughing we're going to have to put the seats back on!"
A priest is doing some community work downtown...
...when he is propositioned by a h**....
"Hey Father, I'll give the best b**... of your life for $10."
Confused, the priest replies "No thank you, my dear."
Later, back at the church, he approaches one of the nuns.
"Sister, this is kind of embarrassing, but what's a b**...?"
"Oh, you know," says the nun, "$10, same as downtown."
Two Scottish nuns
Two Scottish nuns had just arrived to the US by boat when one said to the other, "I heard that the occupants of this country actually eat dogs."
"Odd," her companion replied, "But if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do."
Nodding emphatically, the mother superior pointed to a hot dog vendor and they both walked towards it. "Two dogs, please," said one.
The vendor was only too pleased to oblige and he wrapped both hot dogs in foil. Excited, the nuns hurried over to a bench and began to unwrap their 'dogs'.
The mother superior was first to open hers, stared at it for a moment, then leaned over to the other nun and whispered cautiously, "What part did you get?"
This guy in an overcoat walks up to two old nuns on a bench
and opens up his coat to reveal he's completely n**... underneath. One of the nuns has a s**....
The other one couldn't reach
Two nuns were out walking in the woods
When two thugs jumped out from behind a bush and started r**... the nuns, the first nun started praying to God, asking him to forgive the men as they knew not what they were doing, the second nun turned to the first and told her, yours might not know what he is doing but mine sure does.
What do you call a group of armed nuns enforcing the status quo?
a force of habit
Two nuns were riding their bikes...
Two nuns were riding their bikes through Rome headed to the Vatican. One nun said to the other, "You know, sister, I don't think I've ever come this way before." The other nun said, "It's the cobblestones."
An officer pulls over a car full of nuns...
A police officer saw a car full of nuns going much too slow for the highway they were on. He pulled them over and went up to the driver. "Why are you going so slow?" The nun that was driving then replied "That sign right there says 20." The police officer looked at the sign. "That's the highway number that you are on." "Oh, sorry officer." The police officer looked in the back seat to see three nuns that looked like they were terrified. "What's wrong with them?" the officer asked. The nun that was driving looked back at them. "We just got off of highway 190."
Two nuns are walking in a forest.
Two nuns are walking in a forest. All of a sudden two maniacs attack them and start s**... abusing them. One of the nuns says :
• Oh god... please forgive them! they don't know what they are doing!
The other nun turns around and says :
• Mine does!
Three nuns are met by a f**....
So three nuns are walking together after morning services, when a pervert in a trenchcoat jumps out of some bushes and flashes them.
The first nun, she had a s**....
The second nun also had a s**....
The third nun didn't touch him.
Three nuns were sitting in the park..
when, all of a sudden, a man jumped out of the bushes, opened his trenchcoat and flashed them. Two of the nuns had a s**..., but the third one couldn't quite reach.
Two nuns are walking down an alley late at night...
When they get approached by 2 men who begin assaulting them. After minutes of the altercation, Sister Mary Sue screams, "Oh dear Lord! Forgive this man for he knows not what he is doing!" Sister Sarah looks up and says, "....Mine does".
Two nuns are biking back to their convent
after a long day out nunning about in the community.
They take a different route than normal, and after a while, one says to the other: "You know, I've never come this way before."
The other replies: "Yes, it must be the cobblestones"
Two nuns in an alleyway
Two nuns were walking down an alleyway when a f**... jumps out. The first nun had a s**... but the second couldn't reach.
Two nuns in the park...
Two nuns, Sister Mary and Sister Elizabeth are walking through the park when they are jumped by two thugs. Their habits are ripped from them and the men begin to s**... assault them.
Sister Elizabeth casts her eyes heavenward and cries, "Forgive him Lord, for he knows not what he is doing!"
Sister Mary turns and moans, "Oh God, mine does!"
Nuns
The nuns at the local convent had their daily annoucement session.
The mother superior walked out in front of the 100 nuns with a very serious
frown on her face. She began to speak...
Mother Superior: There had been a sinful deed committed here, yesterday.
99 nuns: Oh, no!
1 nun: Hee, hee, hee.
Mother Superior: Today I found a pair a men's underwear.
99 nuns: Oh, no!
1 nun: Hee, hee, hee.
Mother Superior: And I also found a c**....
99 nuns: Oh, no!
1 nun: Hee, hee, hee.
Mother Superior: And it has been used!
99 nuns: Oh, no!
1 nun: Hee, hee, hee.
Mother Superior: And there was a hole in it!
1 nun: Oh, No!
99 nuns: Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee!.....
Two nuns are riding their bicycles to the Vatican
First nun shouts to the other "I've never come this way before!"
The second nun replies "don't worry it's just the cobblestones."
Four nuns about to take their vows..
Four novice nuns were about to take their vows.
Dressed in their white gowns, they entered the chapel for their symbolic marriage to Jesus, making them "Brides of Christ."
Just as the ceremony was about to begin, four Hasidic Jews came in and sat in the front row.
The Mother Superior said, "I am so honored you want to share this experience with us. May I ask why you came?"
"We're from the groom's family."
100 nuns are in a prayer session.
After the session ends, the head nun stands up and addresses the nuns.
"There was a man in the convent last night," she says.
99 nuns gasp, while one chuckles quietly to herself.
"We found a c**... in the garden," the head nun continues.
Again, 99 nuns gasp, while one chuckles quietly to herself.
"There was a hole in that c**...."
99 nuns chuckle, while one gasps.
There are 101 nuns on a bus....
They are all going on a trip. The head Mother Superior stand up and faces all the nuns. She says
"There seem to a problem going on in our church"
99 nuns gasp and one snickers.
She then hold up a c**... and says
"I had found this in our chapel"
99 nuns gasp and one snickers.
"But don't worry" she says, "well find them soon, there's a hole in it"
99 nuns snicker and one gasps.
How many nuns could a nunchuck chuck if a nunchuck could chuck nuns ?
Nun.
Two nuns are sitting on a park bench...
Suddenly, a streaker runs past them! One of the nuns had a s**...! The other tried but she couldn't reach.
Two nuns sitting in a park bench were flashed. One nun had a s**....
The other nun couldn't reach.
Two nuns are walking down a dark alley one night.
Two men suddenly jump out of the shadows and start to r**... them. The first nun looks up toward heaven and says, "Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they are doing."
The second nun looks up and says,
"This one does!"
Two nuns walking down the road
Two nuns walking down the road and 2 guys suddenly jump infront of them and start r**... them thhe first nun is completly shocked so she prays and say: "forgive them god they don't know what are they doing" seconds after the other says: "Oh this one does".
Mother Superior is in the convent, when she hears a knock at the door. She opens the door and is shocked to see two leprechauns standing at the threshold, hats in hand. The first leprechaun speaks, "Mother Superior, would you be having any leprechaun nuns in this convent?"
"No, my son. We have no leprechaun nuns in this convent."
"And mother, do you have any leprechaun nuns in all of Ireland?"
"No my son, I don't believe there's a single leprechaun nun in the whole church!"
The first leprechaun rounds on his companion and shouts, "AH TOL' YE YOU'D BEEN FOOKIN' A PENGUIN!"
A nun gets into a cab
The cab driver sees her in the backseat and says "I have always had a fantasy about nuns."
She answers "you and everyone else! Are you a Catholic?"
Driver says yes, so she tells him to pull over.
She hops in the front seat and gives him the best b**... he ever had. She gets done and the cabbie feels guilty and says "You know sister, I have to confess. I am not really Catholic."
"That's fine. My name is Ralph and I am going to a costume party."
Why do nuns wear the same outfit every day?
It's a habit.
(I made this one up. I doubt I am the first to do it. )
Three nuns die and go to Heaven...
At the Pearly Gates, St. Peter tells them that they must each answer a biblical question to get in, but he reassures them that they're quite easy.
"Who was the first woman?" He says to the first nun.
"Eve." The gates swing open and she walks in.
"Where did Eve live?" He says to the second nun.
"The Garden of Eden." The gates swing open once more.
"Now, seeing as you're the Mother Superior, you must answer a more difficult question, what was the first thing Eve said when she saw Adam?" St. Peter says to the third nun.
"Oh, that's a hard one..."
The gates swing open.
n**... painting
The head nun tells the two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes.
So the one nun says to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door."
So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?"
"Blind man!"
The nuns look at each other, then one nun says, "He's blind, he can't see. What could it hurt."
They let him in.
The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice t**.... Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"
Three nuns die in a car c**..., when they get to heaven, the angel says they have to answer a question to get in
So the angel asks the first nun
Who was the first man?
And the nun replies, Adam
The angel allows her in and turns to the second nun
Who was the first woman?
The second nun answers Eve
Correct, in you go replies the angel
Then turning to the third nun the angel asks
I'm afraid this question is rather difficult. What did Eve say when she first saw Adam?
The third nun thinking says Oh, that's a hard one
Yes, you're in. Replies the angel.
Three Nuns Die And Each Have To Answer A Question From God To Get Into Heaven...
God asks the first Nun, "Who were the first two people?"
She says, "Adam and Eve".
He says, "Okay, you're in."
God asks the second Nun, "Where did Adam and Eve live?"
She says, "The Garden of Eden".
He says, "Okay, you're in."
God asks the third Nun, "What was the first thing Eve said when she saw Adam?"
She says, "Hmm, that's a hard one."
He says, "Okay, you're in."
Two nuns were riding their bikes back to the church.
The first nun suggests they take a detour down a back alley. A few minutes later the second nun says, I've never come this way before. The first nun says, It's the cobblestones.
