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Nun Convent Jokes

81 nun convent jokes and hilarious nun convent puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about nun convent that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Nun Convent Short Jokes

Short nun convent jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The nun convent humour may include short nuns jokes also.

  1. Did you hear the story about the anorexic woman who joined a convent? Man, the chances of that are slim to nun.
  2. It hurt to send my woodchucks off to the convent But when they come back, I'll have a badass pair of nun chucks
  3. A local convent, which had no security system, suffered a kidnapping. No fence, nun taken.
  4. Why was the young priest frustrated after spending the night in a convent? He didn't get nun.
  5. Two nuns are riding bicycles back to the convent. The first nun says "I've never come this way before." The second nun replies, "I know... its the cobblestones."
  6. A sister from a local convent became a Certified Public Accountant to help small shop owners manage their finances better. Her title: "Nun of Your Business."
  7. Two nuns are riding bikes to the convent... One says, "I don't think I've come this way before." The other nun goes, "Yeah, it's the cobblestones."
  8. My friend opened a Convent Store the other day. He invited me to check out his merchandise, but I didn't want nun.
  9. I noticed that the local convent has no security around the building, so I helped myself. No 'fence.
    Nun taken.
  10. Yes, it's possible I miscounted the monks. Yes, it's possible I understated the occupancy level at the convent. But nun the less...

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Nun Convent One Liners

Which nun convent one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with nun convent? I can suggest the ones about catholic nun and nuns in heaven.

  1. How many women does it take. . . to screw in a lightbulb in a convent?
    Nun.
  2. Why did they kick the nun out of the convent? She always had a dirty *habit*.
  3. How many members of a convent does it take to change a light bulb? Nun.
  4. Why was the nun kicked out of the convent? She had a dirty habit.
  5. How many girls got married at the Convent? Nun
  6. What do you call the Mother Superior of a corrupt convent? Nun the Wiser
  7. what do you call a gathering of nuns a convent-tion
  8. Why is a convent's percussion section so confusing? It's a co-nun-drum
  9. Why did the nun get kicked out of the convent? She had a bad habit.
  10. Why did the nun become a model? She was more than just conventionally attractive.
  11. What Do Nuns Call Air Conditioning In A Prison? A convent!
  12. Did you hear about the fire at the convent? Nun survived!
  13. What kind of s**... happens in a convent? Nun.

Nun Convent Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about nun convent you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean nun habit jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make nun convent pranks.

Two nuns are doing their grocery shopping.

As they pass the cooler full of beer, one nun says longingly to the other one, "A cold beer would go down great tonight!" "Indeed," the other nun replies, "but how can we show up with beer at the check-out counter?" "Don't worry, I have a plan," the other nun answers. "Grab a six-pack." The cashier is surprised when he sees the beer, but the one nun is ready with an explanation. "We use the beer to wash our hair" she says. "At the convent, we call it 'Catholic shampoo.'" Without hesitation the cashier bends down, grabs a package of pretzels, and throws it in one of the nuns' groceries bags, saying "The curlers are on the house."

A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where mother superior was taking a shower.


"There is a blind man to see you," she says. "Well, if he is a blind man, than it does not matter if I’m in the shower. Send him in."
The blind man walks into the bathroom, and mother superior starts to tell him how much she appreciates him working at the convent for them. She goes on and on and 10 minutes later the man interrupts: "That’s nice and all, ma’am, but you can put your clothes on now. Where do you want me to put these blinds."

Two nuns are walking back to the convent at night when two men push them into a dark alley and start having s**... with them.


One nun says "God, forgive them for they know not what they are doing!"
The second nun says "Speak for yours! Mine is a Master!"

One night in a nunnery.

One nun is secretly sneaking a man into the convent to have s**... with him. The following morning, the Mother Superior calls all of the 100 sisters together. She tells them, "Sisters, I have some terrible news. I know there was a man in the convent last night."
99 nuns gasp, one nun giggles.
"I know he had s**... with one of you."
99 nuns gasp, one nun giggles.
"I found a c**... in one of the beds."
99 nuns gasp, one nun giggles.
"I found a hole in the c**...."
99 nuns giggle, one nun gasps.

A priest offered a Nun a lift...

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg...
The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'
The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.' Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

A Priest Offers a Nun a Lift..

She gets in and crosses her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg and nearly causing the priest to have an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, Father, remember Psalm 129?
The priest removed his hand. But,changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun once again said, Father, remember Psalm 129?
The priest apologized Sorry sister but the flesh is weak. Arriving at the convent, the nun went on her way. On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.
Moral of the story: If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity

Warm Milk

In a convent in Ireland , the 98-year-old Mother Superior lay dying. The
nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable.
They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it.
One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then, remembering a
bottle of Irish Whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous
Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk.
Back at Mother Superior's bed, they held the glass to her lips. The frail
nun drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had
finished the whole glass down to the last drop.
As her eyes brightened, the nuns thought it would be a good opportunity to
have one last talk with their spiritual leader..
"Mother," the nuns asked earnestly,
"Please give us some of your wisdom before you leave us."
She raised herself up in bed on one elbow,
looked at them and said: "
"DON'T SELL THAT COW."

A young nun at a convent

A young nun at a convent had one too many s**... indiscretions, and turned up pregnant. Scared, she told no one of this, and was thankful that the order she belonged to wore loose, floor-length habits that would keep her secret safe, possibly right up until the birth.
And so it did, and upon the evening when the contractions started, she rushed down into the basement, hoping that no one would hear either her own moaning, or the cries of the newborn child.
After the birth, panic set in; she didn't know what she should do with the baby. If she were found with the child, she would be thrown out of the order, with no place for food or shelter. Knowing that the Mother Superior was a wise woman, and also having no other options, she placed the baby in a basket, and quietly crept into the sleeping Mother's room in the pre-dawn hours. She left the baby, and silently exited the sleeping chambers.
At sunrise, the Mother Superior awakened, and heard the baby as it was just waking from a nap. She quickly looked over the side of her bed, at the child in the basket, fell back in her bed with a sorrowful look, and dejectedly sighed, "Oh, God! You can't even trust your own finger any more!"

Nun takes a vow of silence

A woman joins a convent that requires a vow of silence, allowing members only two word a decade.
Ten years go by and the woman tells the head nun, "Room cold." They give her a heater and she goes back to her prayers.
Ten more years go by and she says, "Bed hard." They give her a new mattress and she goes back to her prayers.
Ten more years go by and the woman says, "I quit." The head nun says, "Fine by me. All you've done since you got here is complain."

How I got slapped in the face by a nun.

So a couple of months ago, my friends and I decided to start a laundry business. After we bought a store and the requisite machinery, we decided that we needed some publicity. There was an Old Convent about a mile out of town, and we decided that doing their laundry for free would surely get our name in the papers. So one afternoon, I drive there and ring the doorbell. The mother superior answers, and I ask "Hi there, I was wondering if the nuns had some dirty habits?"

A Rapey looking man follows two Nuns...SFW

There were two nuns...
One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM) ,
and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL)
It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.
SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.
SL: It's logical He wants to r**... us.
SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?
SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.
SM: It's not working.
SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.
SM : So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.
SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.
So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.
Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical .
Then Sister Logical arrives.
SM: Sister Logical ! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!
SL : The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us both,so he followed me
SM : Yes, yes! But what happened then?
SL : The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.
SM : And?
SL : The only logical thing happened. He reached me
SM : Oh, dear! What did you do?
SL : The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.
SM : Oh, Sister! What did the man do?
SL : The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?
SL : Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down.

The Elusive Midget Nun

Two Eskimos, a big one and a little one, walk up to the convent door. The big one nudges the little one and says, Go ahead, knock on the door, knock on the door.
The Mother Superior answers the door. Again, the big Eskimo nudges the little one and says, Go ahead, ask her the question, ask her the question.
The little Eskimo timidly says, May we speak with the midget nun that lives here please?
The Mother Superior answers, There are no midget nuns living here.
The big Eskimo starts nudging the little one again and says, Go ahead, ask her the other question, ask her the other question.
The little Eskimo asks in a quavering voice, Well, are there any midget nuns in Alaska?
The Mother Superior responds uncertainly, I know most of the nuns in Alaska and I don't believe so.
With this the big Eskimo falls down and rolls on the ground, clutching his belly as he laughs uncontrollably. See, he says to the little Eskimo, I told you that you s**... a penguin!

Two Nuns ride back to the convent.

They were riding bicycles and one nun says to the other
"I know a short cut, follow me"
The other one says
"Ive never come this way before"
The first nun looks at her and smiles
"Oh yeah girl, that's the cobblestone. "

Two nuns riding through the garden of the convent...

They giggle, laugh and scream as they ride their bikes over the cobble stone paths. All of a sudden, the window of Mother Superior swings open. She shouts:" Girls! Keep it down, or I'm having the saddles re-installed!"

I was just at a cell phone convention and stopped at the v**... Mobile booth.

It was just a bunch of nuns in wheelchairs.

At Saint Mary's Convent,....

... the Mother Superior is standing n**... in her room, having just stepped out of the shower.
There was a knock at the door and one of the Sisters said, "Mother Superior, there is a blind man here to see you and he's in rather a hurry".
The Mother Superior, not wanting to keep the unfortunate soul waiting decided there would be no harm in meeting a blind man whilst undressed.
"Send him in child", Mother Superior said, opening the door.
The blind man entered and staring at the n**... nun said, "I'm just here to measure the windows".

A group of Nuns were enjoying their lunch break...

A group of Nuns were enjoying their lunch break, riding their bicycles around the gardens at their convent.
"I told you 5 minutes ago that lunchtime was over Sisters!" yelled the Sister in charge.
"If you don't stop immediately I'll put the seats back on!"

"Go forth and seek, further up, thy you will find glory"

A priest offered a Nun a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The priest nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg instead of gear.
The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again.
The nun smiled and once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"
The priest apologized "Sorry sister but the grip is weak."
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, ''Go forth and seek, further up,thy you will find glory''

A nun wakes up one morning

And as she's walking down the hallway to the convent kitchen the first door after hers opens up and another nun exits and says
"Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!"
As the first nun continues down the hallway this keeps happening.
"Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!"
"Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!"
By the end of the hallway, and 15 times later the first nun is LIVID, and marches straight to the head sister's office and throws the door open. The head nun goes to speak, when the other shouts
"DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME I GOT UP ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE BED THIS MORNING! IT'S ALL I'VE HEARD THIS MORNING AND I'M FED UP WITH IT."
The head nun, stunned, says calmy "I was going to say nothing of the sort! I was merely going to ask - why are you wearing the bishop's slippers?"

The Irish Nun and warm milk

In a convent in Ireland , the 98-year-old Mother Superior lay dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable. They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it.
One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then, remembering a bottle of Irish Whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous
Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at Mother Superior's bed, they held the glass to her lips. The frail Nun drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had finished the whole glass down to the last drop.
As her eyes brightened, the nuns thought it would be a good opportunity to have one last talk with their spiritual leader.
"Mother," the nuns asked earnestly, "Please give us some of your wisdom before you leave us"
She raised herself up in bed on one elbow, looked at them and said: "
"DON'T SELL THAT COW."

During World War 2, n**... invade a convent.

They yelled: " We are going to r**... every nun in this convent!" Mother Superior pleaded with the n**...: " You can r**... us all you want, but at the end of the hallway there is a room with a 100 year old nun in it. She is very sick and doesn't have long. Please leave her be."
All of a sudden the door at the end of the hall opens, and the old nun steps out yelling: "THE WAR IS ON FOR EVERYBODY!"

Two Leprechauns Knock on the Door of a Convent.

The Mother Superior answers.

"Em, 'scuse me, Mother Superior," the first leprechaun says, "but you aren't after having any midget nuns in this convent?"
"Why, no little man" says she, "we have no midget nuns in this convent."
"Sure there aren't any midget nuns in the south of Ireland?"
"No, little man"
"Sure there aren't any midget nuns in the north of Ireland?"
"No, little man."
"So, yer tellin' us, Mother Superior, that in all of Ireland, there are no midget nuns?"
"Yes, as far as I know in all of Ireland, there are no midget nuns." The line of questioning becoming tiresome, the Mother Superior closes the door and goes away.
One leprechaun turns to the other and says, "Ah, well ye see, Seamus, I told you it was a penguin we fooked."

A Nun walks into a construction site

An older nun, who was living in a convent next to a construction site, noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways.
And so, she decided she would take her lunch and sit with the workers.
She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked to the spot where the men were eating.
Sporting a big smile, she walked up to the group and asked: "And, do you men know Jesus Christ?"
They shook their heads and looked at each other, very confused.
One of the workers looked up into the steelworks and yelled out, "Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?"
One of the steelworkers yelled down. "Why?"
The worker yelled back,
"Cause his mom's here with his lunch."

Why did the two most senior nuns in the convent break up a German t**... plot to steal millions in bearer bonds?

Old habits die hard

Two nuns are biking back to their convent

after a long day out nunning about in the community.
They take a different route than normal, and after a while, one says to the other: "You know, I've never come this way before."
The other replies: "Yes, it must be the cobblestones"

Nuns

The nuns at the local convent had their daily annoucement session.
The mother superior walked out in front of the 100 nuns with a very serious
frown on her face. She began to speak...
Mother Superior: There had been a sinful deed committed here, yesterday.
99 nuns: Oh, no!
1 nun: Hee, hee, hee.
Mother Superior: Today I found a pair a men's underwear.
99 nuns: Oh, no!
1 nun: Hee, hee, hee.
Mother Superior: And I also found a c**....
99 nuns: Oh, no!
1 nun: Hee, hee, hee.
Mother Superior: And it has been used!
99 nuns: Oh, no!
1 nun: Hee, hee, hee.
Mother Superior: And there was a hole in it!
1 nun: Oh, No!
99 nuns: Hee, hee, hee, hee, hee, hee!.....

A nun gets up in the morning, leaves, and walks down the corridor of the convent.

There, she meets another nun, who says to her, "You got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!" The nun continues down the corridor, only to have another nun say, "You got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning!" This happens fifteen times and by then she is livid! She meets the Mother Superior, and the Mother Superiors just about to open her mouth, when the nun explodes, "DON'T TELL ME I GOT OUT OF THE WRONG SIDE OF THE BED THIS MORNING!" And the Mother Superior says, "I wasn't going to say that. I was just going to ask what you are doing with the Bishop's shoes on?"

3 nuns were sitting on a bench in the local park

The nuns usually came out here to get away from their convent and get a chance to talk about the attractive men that walked by. This day, however, there was a man who kept watching them from an uncomfortable distance. One of them points him out as he begins to walk towards them. The man is tall, sporting a large trench coat, with long black greasy hair. He walks up right in front of them and undoes his trench coat to reveal a massive e**.... Immediately the first nun looks and has a s**... as well as the second. The third nun tries, but her arms are too short.

100 nuns are in a prayer session.

After the session ends, the head nun stands up and addresses the nuns.
"There was a man in the convent last night," she says.
99 nuns gasp, while one chuckles quietly to herself.
"We found a c**... in the garden," the head nun continues.
Again, 99 nuns gasp, while one chuckles quietly to herself.
"There was a hole in that c**...."
99 nuns chuckle, while one gasps.

Four months into her postulancy to become a nun a young woman went to Sister Maria crying.

"Sister, I must leave this convent but before I go I want to confess my sins."
"Okay," said Sister Maria.
"During my time here I've slept with multiple men!"
"Shame," said Sister Maria.
"Sometimes multiple men at one time."
"Shame," Said Sister Maria.
"Married men, single men, young men, old men, one in each hole, one in each hand."
"Shame," Said Sister Maria. "If you shtill want to leave, I'll shee you to the door."

There was a nun walking home to the convent.

She had to pass through a forest. While on the trail, a man jumps from behind the bushes and had is way.
What will you tell the Holy Father now Sister? he asked.
I'll tell him I was walking through the woods when a man jumped from behind the bushes and r**... me twice, unless you're tired.

A raggedy old nun was walking home ....

.... from the convent one evening, when an old man jumped out of the bushes and had his way with her.
The man laughed and said: "What will you tell the Holy Father NOW, Sister?"
And the nun replied: "I can't lie to the Lord! I must say I was walking home from the convent when a man jumped out from the bushes, attacked me and had his way with me TWICE...... Unless you're too tired?"

A young Nun

Is doing her chores around the convent with one of the senior sisters. They go into town on bicycles to buy food for the evening meal. On the way back, the senior sister turns down a small alleyway. The young nun says,
I don't think I've ever come this way before.
To which the senior nun replies,
Yes, dear. It's the cobblestones.

Mother Superior is in the convent, when she hears a knock at the door. She opens the door and is shocked to see two leprechauns standing at the threshold, hats in hand. The first leprechaun speaks, "Mother Superior, would you be having any leprechaun nuns in this convent?"

"No, my son. We have no leprechaun nuns in this convent."
"And mother, do you have any leprechaun nuns in all of Ireland?"
"No my son, I don't believe there's a single leprechaun nun in the whole church!"
The first leprechaun rounds on his companion and shouts, "AH TOL' YE YOU'D BEEN FOOKIN' A PENGUIN!"

Psalm 129

A priest offered a nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The nun said, Father, remember Psalm 129?
The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, Father, remember Psalm 129? The priest apologized Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.
Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, Go forth and seek, further up you will find glory.

Dave walks into a bar and sees President Donald Trump and Vice-President Mike Pence at a table, deep in discussion.

He doesn't want to interrupt, but they see him, invite him over and they soon get to talking.
We're on track to bomb the Middle East, excitedly claims the President. We're going to reduce those towelheads to a shadow of their former numbers. We're going to kill 3 million Syrians, 4 million Iraqis, 2 million Lebanese and ten nuns from that convent down the road!
Flabbergasted, Dave exclaims, What do the nuns have to do with anything?
The VP turns to the President and says, You can send in the drones tomorrow, Mr President. I told you no one would care about the Middle East.

Jesus' Wife

An old nun who was living in a convent next to a Brooklyn construction site noticed the coarse language of the workers and decided to spend some time with them to correct their ways. She decided she would take her lunch sit with the workers and talk with them. She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over to the spot where the men were eating.
She walked up to the group and with a big smile said, "Do you men know Jesus Christ?"
They shook their heads and looked at each other. One of the workers looked up into the steelwork and yelled, `Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?"
One of the steelworkers asked, "Why?"
The worker yelled, "His wife is here with his lunch."

Two Bulgarian nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent

Two Bulgarian nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even one single drop of paint on their habits. After discussing it, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, s**... off their habits, and paint n**.... In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. "Who is it?" calls one of the nuns.
"Blind man," replies a voice from the other side of the door.
The two nuns look at each other, shrug, and, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.
"Nice t**...," says the man. "Where do you want the blinds?"

Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits.

After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, s**... off their habits, and paint in the n**....
In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. "Who is it?", calls one of the nuns.
"Blind man," replies a voice from the other side of the door. The two nuns look at each other and shrug, and, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door.
"Nice b**...," says the man, "where do you want these blinds?"

A man broke into a convent one day, intent on kidnapping a nun.

Bursting through the door, he swept the first nun he saw off her feet and threw her over his shoulder. Police arrive on the scene just as the kidnapper escaped through the front door.
The first cop shouted What the h**..., man as the kidnapper fled on foot, nun over his shoulder.
No offense, the kidnapper responded as he ran away.
Nun taken! the officer reported into his radio.

Two nuns, Sisters Mary and Teresa, are riding their bikes back to the convent from the shops in the old city.

Sister Mary says Up ahead the road is blocked, but if you follow me, I know another route.
Sister Teresa dutifully follows the older Sister as they wind their way through the city streets and down an old lane.
Sister Mary, asks Sister Teresa, do you know this route well?
Aye, says Sister Mary, I take this route often.
I've never come this way before. says Sister Teresa.
It's the cobblestones. replies Sister Mary.

Sister Ann Putting on Weight

"Sister Ann, aren't you putting on a little weight?" inquired Father Dan during his visit to the convent, suspiciously eyeing her bulging belly. "Why, no Father," answered the nun demurely, "It's just a little gas." A few months later Father Dan put the same question to the nun noticing her habit barely fit across her belly. "Oh, just a bit of gas," said Sister Ann, blushing a bit. On his next visit Father Dan was walking down the corridor when he passed Sister Ann wheeling a baby carriage. Looking in, the priest observed, "Cute little f**...!"

Several nuns in a convent contract a venereal disease...

...So the Mother Superior calls a general meeting, and announces "There are cases of gonorrhea in our midst".
One of the nuns whispers to the nun next to her, "That's nice, I'm getting sick of the Cabernet".

A nun walks into Mother Superior's office

"Terrible news, Mother Superior. We've discovered a case of s**... in the convent."
Mother Superior looks up, "Wonderful. I was getting tired of the Chablis."

A convict escapes from prison and holes up in a convent.

He rounds up all the nuns and begins to look them over, saying, "I'll have my way with all of you."
A young novice says, "Please, sir, do what you will to us, but don't harm the Mother Superior!"
Suddenly, the Mother Superior says, "You heard the man! He said ALL of us!"