Numerical Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

Three mathematicians go hunting.

As they are out hunting, they see a bird. The numerical analyst fires, but misses to the left. The applied mathematician fires and misses to the right. The statistician shouts out, "We hit it!"

Please enter your new password

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER: boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.

USER: 1 boiled cabbage

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.

USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.

USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively.

USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessNow!

WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

USER:ReallyPissedOff50BloodyBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIf

YouDontGiveMeAccessNow

WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.

Tried to Select a Password

WEBSITE: Please enter your new password.
USER: cabbage
WEBSITE: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.
USER: boiled cabbage
WEBSITE: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.
USER: 1 boiled cabbage
WEBSITE: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.
USER: 50fuckingboiledcabbages
WEBSITE: Sorry, the password must contain at least one upper case character.
USER: 50FUCKINGboiledcabbages
WEBSITE: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one consecutive upper case character.
USER: 50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAss!
WEBSITE: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation
USER: 50FuckingBoiledCabbagesShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessNow
WEBSITE: That password is already in use.

PASSWORD PROBLEMS

WINDOWS: Please enter your new password.

USER: cabbage


WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must be more than 8 characters.

USER: boiled cabbage



WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain 1 numerical character.

USER: 1 boiled cabbage



WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot have blank spaces.

USER: 50bloodyboiledcabbages



WINDOWS: Sorry, the password must contain at least one uppercase character.

USER: 50BLOODYboiledcabbages



WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot use more than one uppercase character consecutively.

USER: 50BloodyBoiledCabbagesYouStupidIdiotGiveMeAccessNow!



WINDOWS: Sorry, the password cannot contain punctuation.

USER : IWillHuntYouDown50BloodyBoiledCabbagesYouStupidIdiotGiveMeAccessNow


WINDOWS: Sorry, that password is already in use.

Passwords

"Sorry, your password has been in use for 90 days and has expired - you must register a new one."

roses

"Sorry, too few characters."

pretty roses

"Sorry, you must use at least one numerical character."

1 pretty rose

"Sorry, you cannot use blank spaces."

1prettyrose

"Sorry, you must use at least 10 different characters."

1fuckingprettyrose

"Sorry, you must use at least one upper case character."

1FUCKINGprettyrose

"Sorry, you cannot use more than one upper case character consecutively."

1FuckingPrettyRose

"Sorry, you must use no fewer than 20 total characters."

1FuckingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDon'tGiveMeAccessRightFuckingNow!

"Sorry, you cannot use punctuation."

1FuckingPrettyRoseShovedUpYourAssIfYouDontGiveMeAccessRightFuckingNow

"Sorry, that password is already in use."

Back in 1996, Afghanistan was very different.

You see, the only numerical system that Afghanistan used was the tally mark system. That meant that Afghans only counted things in tally marks. This was quite problematic because many people didn't know how to use tally marks correctly. Many mistakes were made and there was generally a lot of confusion. Chaos ensued quickly. The Afghan government had to do something and fast. What it ended up doing was banning all use of tally marks in the country. And that was the origin of the infamous Tally Ban.

Four surgeons.....

......sat around discussing their favourite patients type.
1st surgeon says, "I like operating on librarians. When you open them up, everything is in alphabetical order."
2nd surgeon says, "I like operating on accountants. When you open them up, everything is in numerical order."
3rd surgeon says, "I like operating on electricians. When you open them up, everything is color coded." The 4th surgeon says, "I like operating on politicians." The other three surgeons look at each other in disbelief. The 4th surgeon continues, "Because they're heartless, gutless, spineless, and the butts and brains are interchangeable."

A high school teacher once told me that math can solve any problem, numerical or not.

I've been sitting here for weeks and I still can't replace my X.

^^Sorry ^^;_;

What are the funniest numerical jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Numerical? Well, here are the best Numerical puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Numerical pick up lines to share with friends.

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