Numb Jokes
109 numb jokes and hilarious numb puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about numb that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Numb Short Jokes
Short numb jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The numb humour may include short dumb jokes also.
- 1 and 2 went out for a walk in the snow. 1's hands got so cold that they went numb.
2's hands and feet both got cold, so he was even number. - There's so many bad puns on this sub' it's making me just feel numb, and don't talk about the math ones.. ..they make me feel even number.
- Reading all these jokes makes me go numb... But reading mathematics-related jokes makes me go number
- Did you hear about the guru who refused to let the dentist use Novocain to numb his mouth? The guru said he wanted to transcend dental medication
- Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because he felt crumby. - my 4 y.o. daughter
- Tonight I'm planning to watch the movie where Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels play two math students Numb and Number
- What song does skin start to sing after being tattooed for a while? "I've become so numb! I can't feel you there!"
- Seven ate six After seven ate six, it thought to itself, "After I ate nine my mouth felt numb, but this time it's even number".
- If you are afraid of gaining weight then just take a shot of liquor before dinner. Alcohol can numb your sense of fear.
- I went to my new male Gynecologist and he said to spread my legs so that he could numb it down there. So he went down and went numnumnumnumnumnum
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Numb One Liners
Which numb one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with numb? I can suggest the ones about nutty and nerdy.
- Puns make me numb Mathematical puns makes me number
- Studying History makes you numb but studying mathematics makes you number.
- All of my classes make me numb... But math class makes me number.
- While most puns make me feel numb, Math puns always makes me feel number.
- Maths make me feel numb But divisibility by 2 makes me even number.
- I gave my parrot Lidocaine.... The doctor says his days are numb bird.
- What do you get if you put morphine on your toast? Crumfortably Numb!
- why did the clown wake up with a numb right arm? he slept on it funny.
- What do you get when you go to a dentist? Uncomfortably numb
- 7 ate 9 7: "I feel numb now"
6: "And I am a little number" - The Anesthesiologist has become Comfortably numb.
- Lost my girlfriend due to religion I'm pretty much numb to beheadings at this point.
Cheerful Numb Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about numb you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean numerals jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make numb pranks.
Number 12...
A man is walking down the street when he begins to hear yelling. The man notices it's coming from the court yard of a mental hospital. Once he gets closer he notices they are all yelling the number 12. The fence being too high, he peaks through a hole into the fence to see why they are yelling twelve. To his surprise he gets poked in the eye and begins hearing everyone yell 13...13...
Number 7
Mark dreams number 7.
He wakes up, looks at his watch: it was 7:07.
He looked at the calendar: July 7, 2007.
Decided it was a sign he's taking the bus 77.
Arrive at the track, put $ 7777 on the horse 7 from the 7th race.
The horse comes seventh.
What do you get when you have Avogadro's number of donkeys?
Molasses.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My kinda Dr.
a woman goes to a new gynocologist for the first time, for her annual pap smear. as the dr.is getting everything ready, and the woman is in the usual position, the dr. explains that there will be some discomfort. he then asks if she would like to numb the area first so she is more comfortable. she tells the dr. *yes please* and he then proceeds to bury his face between her legs and says...num num numnum...
A clinic was trialling a new, cheap way to numb a patient for surgery.
The new method involved blunt force trauma to the patient's head.
The strategy was such a success that people would line up around the block to receive the new anaesthetic.
A man asked the doctor what the line was for.
The doctor replied "that's the punchline."
It's OK to go number 1 in the shower...
...unless you count like a computer programmer.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Number Bullying
1 was making fun of 0 for being fat and how he equates to nothing. This continued for several weeks until 0 had enough. He grabs 1 by his t**... and shouts "Stop boolean me!".
pH number.
So a random person I don't know sends me a message on Facebook which goes like, "cn i hve ur pH no? :)"
To which I reply, "7."
Got six numbers at the bar last night
One more and it would have been a full phone number!
What did the number 1 say to π (pi)?
Let's get rational you can't carry on like this!
Why is the number 8 the only number that goes to heaven?
When it dies it becomes immortal.
∞
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does the number 3 have in common with a Tumbler user?
They both can't even.
Why does Euler's Number say it's "going number 2" when it pees?
Because its natural log is 1.
I'll show myself out now.
How Can Numbers Be Real If Our i's Aren't Real
Why is the number '9' like a peacock?
It's nothing without its tail.
I got 6 numbers at the bar last night...
One more and it would have been a complete telephone number.
(special thanks to Kevin Malone)
Why were all the numbers concerned for 10?
Because 10 was in the midst of 9/11
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You know what the number one leading cause of p**... is, right?
s**... kids.
(Pro Tip: I tell this to every single one of my First Dates. It's my Late 20s testing threshold for whether or not they'll tolerate me for very long.)
I'm an even number
said no one ever
I got a girl's number today!
All I had to do was hit her car.
Which number confuses people?
82
Why can't two even numbers be together?
The odds are against them.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If the number 6**... is considered evil
..is 25.8069758 the root of all evil?
What's your number?
A jewish girl and a man walks into a bar. They hit it off and the man asks for the girls number. She lifts her sleeve.
The even numbers said...
The odds are against us.
Why is the number of black priests so small?
Most of them run away after being called father once or twice
A number fight
there was this 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 ganging on a 0, he tightened his belt and became an 8 and beat them all
A number 2 is walking down the street...
When another number 2 sneaks up from behind and jumps on his friends back to surprise him.
The first number 2 shrieks out-
"Aahhhhh!! You squared me!!"
Sorry...
Why does no one like the number 4?
It's too square.
What is the number 1 rule at a computer bar?
Always tip your server.
Did you know that the number of legs in the air of a horse statue indicate how its rider died?
If there are no legs in the air, the rider survived the war.
If there is one leg in the air, the rider was mortally wounded and died after a battle.
If there are two legs in the air, the rider was killed in battle.
If there are three legs in the air, the rider died in a tragic circus accident.
If there are four legs in the air, the rider was abducted by aliens and died in space.
Did you know: If you say a number loud enough, you increase its value?
For example: 5 equals 5, but
5! equals 120.
Q: Why didn't the number 4 get into the nightclub?
A: Because he is 2 square
How many numbers between 1 - 10 are there that have two syllables?
I can name 7.
A woman visits the gynaecologist for the first time...
Her legs are up in the stirrups and she looks very uncomfortable. The doctor says, "You look nervous. Would you like me to numb you down there before the exam?"
She looks relieved and says "Yes, please."
So, the doctor puts his head between her legs and goes num, num, num.
What is the number 3s favorite crime?
Trespassing
I took the number 25 instead of the 52 today thanks to my dyslexia
Whoops, wrong bus
What numbers are in the number plate of optimus prime?
Prime numbers. A'right a'right I'll see my way out.
I like my numbers like I like my women...
My favourite number is seven.
What number do you call for emergencies in Mexico?
9-Juan-Juan
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the number one thing white people cook better than any other race?
m**....
What are the first three numbers of an opera singer's phone number?
aria code
The number 10210...
Is too intense.
Why didn't the number 3 cross the road?
He saw a sign that said no trespassing.
Think of a number 0 to 20.
Add 32 to it, then multiply your answer by 2. Subtract 2. Now close your eyes.
It's dark, isnt it?
Did you know that the number 7
Is a prime example of and odd number.
Some numbers were stuck in the snow, when one lost his gloves and boots.
He was a number number.
I like even numbers
because they are odd otherwise
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is the number 288 like a rotten corpse?
It's two g**....
Why do the other numbers not hang out with 1, 4, 9, 16, and 25?
Because they're just a bunch of squares.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Which number f**...?
Two did.
A lady goes to a gynecologist for a routine exam
She gets into the gown and positions herself into the stirrups. When the doctor comes in, he tells her that the exam may be painful and asked if she would like to be numbed. Afraid of the pain, she replies, please. The doctor says okay, this will just take a minute . The doctor puts on his gloves, lifts up her gown, begins to put his head between her legs and goes numb numb numb numb...
What's the number one social media platform preferred by aliens?
Spacebook
What is the number 25.80697580113 also known as?
The root of all evil.
Which number confuses people?
153
Old number 51628
A man is taking his giraffe for a walk downtown. He gets tired and stops at a bar. As the man sits down the giraffe goes and lays down in the corner.
The bartender says to the man: Hey! You can't just leave that lyin' around!
Man: It's not a lion. It's a giraffe.
No one:
Numbers: 0 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
I can see quite a number of these Pi jokes coming from a mile away.
Although I can't seem to catch their ending no matter how I try.
One large woodland creature that can't feel pain, four large woodland creatures that can't feel pain, three large woodland creatures that can't feel pain, seven large woodland creatures that can't feel pain.
I know there is a joke here somewhere, but it seems like just a bunch of random numb bears to me.
How did all the numbers above 2 die?
They over-dos'd
What's the number between 5 & 7?
Believe me or not... But it's 3!.
Two guys lighting up a joint.
After an hour the one is high and the other feels like a seven.
Why?
>!Because the one feels numb and the other feels number.!<
There was also another guy with them who smoked way more that day. >!He felt like an eight. You could say he felt even number.!<
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
13: I'm the number everybody hates . 6**...: No way, I am the number everybody hates .
2020: lol .
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Number one reason not to have s**... with puppets?
... there's always strings attached.
(I know, I'm sorry, I'll see myself out, bye now)
I was the number one tire salesman over 12 out of 15 quarters
They were mostly Good years
What number do French celiacs hate?
Huit.
My five year old (who is celiac) came up with this. Had to post it.
The number 69
Some people think 69 is the perfect number, but the truth is that 9's tired of 6 coming first.
Come in number 9, your time is up.
Boss, we've only got 8 boats.
Number 6, are you in trouble?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are there an even number of people with a fruit f**...?
They always c**... in pears.
This guy had a magic door
This guy had a magic door in his house. Whenever he wanted he could open the door and step into a magic world where he was the only human in. Since he was alone in this magic world he was like the king and he could do whatever he wanted to. There was no wife to throw chores at him, no kids nagging and fighting, no dog he needs to take on a walk - no one. He was alone to do as he pleases for as long as he wanted to until his legs get numb and he has to flush down the water and get back to reality.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the number one reason for requesting a medical m**... card?
"I need it for my joints!"
The number 29 was murdered. The cops arrested all the numbers from 24 to 34.
But 31 was the prime suspect.
