The Best 79 Numb Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Numb jokes. There are some numb discomfort jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these numb examination puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Numb Jokes and Puns

Number 12...

A man is walking down the street when he begins to hear yelling. The man notices it's coming from the court yard of a mental hospital. Once he gets closer he notices they are all yelling the number 12. The fence being too high, he peaks through a hole into the fence to see why they are yelling twelve. To his surprise he gets poked in the eye and begins hearing everyone yell 13...13...

Why does the number 288 not come up in polite conversation?

Because it's two gross.

Number 7

Mark dreams number 7.

He wakes up, looks at his watch: it was 7:07.

He looked at the calendar: July 7, 2007.

Decided it was a sign he's taking the bus 77.

Arrive at the track, put $ 7777 on the horse 7 from the 7th race.

The horse comes seventh.

What do you get when you have Avogadro's number of donkeys?

Molasses.

jokes about numb

My kinda Dr.

a woman goes to a new gynocologist for the first time, for her annual pap smear. as the dr.is getting everything ready, and the woman is in the usual position, the dr. explains that there will be some discomfort. he then asks if she would like to numb the area first so she is more comfortable. she tells the dr. *yes please* and he then proceeds to bury his face between her legs and says...num num numnum...


It's OK to go number 1 in the shower...

...unless you count like a computer programmer.

Number Bullying

1 was making fun of 0 for being fat and how he equates to nothing. This continued for several weeks until 0 had enough. He grabs 1 by his throat and shouts "Stop boolean me!".

Numb joke, Number Bullying

pH number.

So a random person I don't know sends me a message on Facebook which goes like, "cn i hve ur pH no? :)"

To which I reply, "7."

Got six numbers at the bar last night

One more and it would have been a full phone number!

Why is the number 8 the only number that goes to heaven?

When it dies it becomes immortal.

What does the number 3 have in common with a Tumbler user?

They both can't even.

You can explore numb doc reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean numb feel dad jokes. There are also numb puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why does Euler's Number say it's "going number 2" when it pees?

Because its natural log is 1.

I'll show myself out now.

What is that number 1 song coming out of the middle east?

My black flag brings all the goats to the yard,

and they're like like "allahu akbar",

watch out, I'll put a bomb in your car,

I'd teach you, but I lost my arms

How Can Numbers Be Real If Our i's Aren't Real

Why is the number '9' like a peacock?

It's nothing without its tail.

Did you hear about the guru who refused to let the dentist use Novocain to numb his mouth?

The guru said he wanted to transcend dental medication

Numb joke, Did you hear about the guru who refused to let the dentist use Novocain to numb his mouth?

I got 6 numbers at the bar last night...

One more and it would have been a complete telephone number.

(special thanks to Kevin Malone)

You know what the number one leading cause of pedophilia is, right?

Sexy kids.

(Pro Tip: I tell this to every single one of my First Dates. It's my Late 20s testing threshold for whether or not they'll tolerate me for very long.)

I'm an even number

said no one ever


I got a girl's number today!

All I had to do was hit her car.

Which number confuses people?

82

Why can't two even numbers be together?

The odds are against them.

If the number 666 is considered evil

..is 25.8069758 the root of all evil?

Why is the number of black priests so small?

Most of them run away after being called father once or twice

Did you know that the number of legs in the air of a horse statue indicate how its rider died?

If there are no legs in the air, the rider survived the war.
If there is one leg in the air, the rider was mortally wounded and died after a battle.
If there are two legs in the air, the rider was killed in battle.
If there are three legs in the air, the rider died in a tragic circus accident.
If there are four legs in the air, the rider was abducted by aliens and died in space.

Did you know: If you say a number loud enough, you increase its value?

For example: 5 equals 5, but

5! equals 120.

Numb joke, Did you know: If you say a number loud enough, you increase its value?

What is the number 3s favorite crime?

Trespassing

I took the number 25 instead of the 52 today thanks to my dyslexia

Whoops, wrong bus

What is the number one thing white people cook better than any other race?

Meth.


While most puns make me feel numb,

Math puns always makes me feel number.

The number 10210...

Is too intense.

Why didn't the number 3 cross the road?

He saw a sign that said no trespassing.

Think of a number 0 to 20.

Add 32 to it, then multiply your answer by 2. Subtract 2. Now close your eyes.

It's dark, isnt it?

Which number farted?

Two did.


A lady goes to a gynecologist for a routine exam

She gets into the gown and positions herself into the stirrups. When the doctor comes in, he tells her that the exam may be painful and asked if she would like to be numbed. Afraid of the pain, she replies, please. The doctor says okay, this will just take a minute . The doctor puts on his gloves, lifts up her gown, begins to put his head between her legs and goes numb numb numb numb...

Which number confuses people?

153

1 and 2 went out for a walk in the snow.

1's hands got so cold that they went numb.

2's hands and feet both got cold, so he was even number.

Old number 51628

A man is taking his giraffe for a walk downtown. He gets tired and stops at a bar. As the man sits down the giraffe goes and lays down in the corner.

The bartender says to the man: Hey! You can't just leave that lyin' around!

Man: It's not a lion. It's a giraffe.

No one:

Numbers: 0 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9

One large woodland creature that can't feel pain, four large woodland creatures that can't feel pain, three large woodland creatures that can't feel pain, seven large woodland creatures that can't feel pain.

I know there is a joke here somewhere, but it seems like just a bunch of random numb bears to me.

How did all the numbers above 2 die?

They over-dos'd

All of my classes make me numb...

But math class makes me number.

What's the number between 5 & 7?

Believe me or not... But it's 3!.

Reading all these jokes makes me go numb...

But reading mathematics-related jokes makes me go number

English puns make me feel numb,

But math puns make me feel number.

Think of a Number Between 0 and 20.

Add 32.

Multiply it by 2.

Subtract 1.

Close your eyes.





Dark, isn't it?

The numbers 19 and 20 got into a fight.

21

13: I'm the number everybody hates . 666: No way, I am the number everybody hates .

2020: lol .

English puns make me numb.

But Math puns make me number.

Most puns make me feel numb

Except mathematics jokes. They make me feel number.

While most puns make me numb...

Math puns make me number

Number one reason not to have sex with puppets?

... there's always strings attached.

(I know, I'm sorry, I'll see myself out, bye now)

A few puns make me numb

But math puns make me number

There are so many bad puns in this sub it making me numb. But the worst are the math ones.

They make me even number.

The number 69

Some people think 69 is the perfect number, but the truth is that 9's tired of 6 coming first.

What's the number one rule of Vegan Fight Club?

Tell everybody

Maths make me feel numb

But divisibility by 2 makes me even number.

What's the number 1 reason for divorce?

Marriage.

There's so many bad puns on this sub' it's making me just feel numb, and don't talk about the math ones..

..they make me feel even number.

Why are there an even number of people with a fruit fetish?

They always cum in pears.

This guy had a magic door

This guy had a magic door in his house. Whenever he wanted he could open the door and step into a magic world where he was the only human in. Since he was alone in this magic world he was like the king and he could do whatever he wanted to. There was no wife to throw chores at him, no kids nagging and fighting, no dog he needs to take on a walk - no one. He was alone to do as he pleases for as long as he wanted to until his legs get numb and he has to flush down the water and get back to reality.

What's the number one reason for requesting a medical marijuana card?

"I need it for my joints!"

Most puns make me feel numb. But mathematics puns make me feel....

........number

What was the number 1 reason for requesting medical marijuana?

'I need it for my joints!'

The number 29 was murdered. The cops arrested all the numbers from 24 to 34.

But 31 was the prime suspect.

What did the number 0 say to the number 8?

Nice belt.

Numbers

The teacher asked one of her young students if he knew his numbers. "Yes," he said. "I do. My father taught me." "Good. What comes after three?" "Four," answers the boy. "What comes after six?" "Seven." "Very good," says the teacher. "Your dad did a good job. What comes after ten?"

"A jack," says the little boy.

The numbers game

A man is strolling past a lunatic asylum when he hears a loud chanting. 'Thirteen! Thirteen! Thirteen!' goes the noise from within the mental hospital's wards.

The man's curiosity gets the better of him and he searches for a hole in the security fence. It's not long before he finds a small crack, so he leans forward and peers in. Instantly, someone jabs him in the eye.

As he reels back in agony, the chanting continues:

'Fourteen! Fourteen! Fourteen!'

What's a horse's number one priority when voting?

The stable economy!

Most puns make me feel numb,

but math puns make me feel number.

Most of the puns on this sub make me numb

But math puns make me number.

Puns make me numb

Mathematical puns makes me number

Why don't numbers have genders?

Because apart from 0 and 1, all of them are non-binary

Why is the number 4 considered a pushover?

Because 4 is two squared of confrontation.

Science puns make me numb

But math puns make me number.

Why was the number 7 covered in pee?

Because 7 said to next number "Yer an 8".

Reading all of these dad jokes make me numb. But math jokes...

make me number.

Studying History makes you numb

but studying Mathematics makes you number.

The number 8 goes to see a psychiatrist ...

The psychiatrist says, "Would you like to lay down on the couch?" and the number 8 replies, "No thank you, I don't want to be here forever."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the numb sore jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working numb uncomfortable piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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