Nuke Jokes
44 nuke jokes and hilarious nuke puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about nuke that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Surprise your friends with some hilarious jokes about nukes. Learn about the history and development of nuclear technology, and get some atomic puns and missles jokes to tell your friends. Learn more about the nuke jokes that have been making people laugh since Japan's overthrow by the Navy's atomic weapon.
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Funniest Nuke Short Jokes
Short nuke jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The nuke humour may include short nuclear bomb jokes also.
- North Korea has finished nuking the South, and there was one man left alive. He was the Seoul survivor.
- A guy wants to build a nuke. He goes to a supplier and asks... "How much are the protons?"
"A dime a dozen, and the neutrons are free of charge." - How is the United States and frozen food the same? Kim Jong Un doesn't have the technology to nuke either of them.
- Mike Tyson fires a nuke at his maths teacher. It was a weapon of math destruction.
I'm so sorry. - Kim Jong un would be great at call of duty If team kills counted twords the "nuke" scorestreak
- My dad works on Nukes and told me this today What dessert was served during the Manhattan Project?
Yellow Cake - What did the Big Boy atomic bomb say to the Nuclear Bomb when they met? Nuke, I am your father.
- Have you heard about the dyslexic spy who got caught with a suitcase nuke in the post office? Fission mailed!
- With Kim Jong Un's death possible, his successor would be his sister. Perhaps we wouldn't have to worry about being nuked all the time. We'd only have to worry about being nuked once a month!
- Two nuclear explosions occur next to each other. "You're way too close to me" says nuke #1. "I'm Feynman" says the other.
Share These Nuke Jokes With Friends
Nuke One Liners
Which nuke one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with nuke? I can suggest the ones about nuclear weapons and atomic bomb.
- Nukes What's the next Muslim country that will have nukes?
France - Where did Sally go after the nukes were dropped? Everywhere.
- Why do asians squint all the time? Because nukes are so bright
- If your garden gets nuked. Does it become a Gnome man's land?
- Why does everybody want nukes? Because they level the playing field
- What do you call the fallout from an Israeli nuke? Zionizing radiation.
- 2016 is on such a high kill streak I'm worried for when it's going to unlock nukes
- If I owned a nuke I would name it Dr. W. Because its a W. M.d.
- My worst joke ever told What do you call the fallout of a cheese nuke? Debrie.
- If an African country developes a nuke will it be called the N-Bomb.
- How does Vladimir Putin like his Thanksgiving turkey? Nuked
- Why cant Kim Jeong Un get a date? He starts off every conversation with "Send Nukes".
- Why were the people hurrying to nuke the United States? They were Rushin.
- What happens when a nuke falls on your city? Your life flashes before your eyes.
- Why couldn't Russia finish their nukes? Because they were Stalin.
Japan Nuke Jokes
Here is a list of funny japan nuke jokes and even better japan nuke puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's the difference a bag of popcorn and Japan? You only have to nuke a bag of popcorn once
- What language did the Japanese speak before the nukes hit? Japanic.

Playful Nuke Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about nuke you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean nuclear missiles jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make nuke pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do you have to nuke siberia twice?
The first one is just to break the ice.
Kim Jung Un called Xi Jinping at 3:30 in the morning.
Xi: Why are you calling at *this* time?
Kim: I am going to test a nuke.
Xi: Okay, when are you going to do this?
Kim: 10.
Xi: 10 what? In 10 months? 10 weeks? 10 days?
Kim: 9.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you reheat a cold war?
You nuke it.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
North Korea wants nuclear weapons so bad, even their leader is a nuke
Little boy and Fat Man
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The prime minister of Japan finally decides to enact revenge on the US for hiroshima & Nagasaki.
He decides to nuke the r**... and he calls it: Operation Fried Okra-homa
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the best weapon to combat cyber terrorism?
Galaxy Nuke 7
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you get if you are nuked by North Korea?
Radi-Asian Poisoning
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What happens when you nuke a communist?
Nothing, he turns into gamma rays and keeps being a nuisance.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between Japanese people and their food?
Americans eat the food after they nuke it.
What do a nuke, Huldreich Zeingli, and diet pills have in common?
They are implements of MASS DESTRUCTION!
Let me tell you something I about this Iran nuke deal...
Iran,
I ran so far away,
I just ran,
I ran all night and day,
I couldn't get away.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you get when you nuke a cat?
Radioactivekitty.
