nugget Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious nugget puns

The meanest, toughest and roughest hooker in the Yukon

One day, after striking gold in Alaska, a Lonesome miner came down from the mountains and walked into a saloon in the nearest town.

"I'm lookin' for the meanest, toughest and roughest hooker in the Yukon," he said to the bartender.

"We got her" replied the bartender. "She's upstairs in the second room on the right."

The miner handed the bartender a gold nugget to pay for the hooker and two beers. He grabbed the bottles, stomped up the stairs, kicked the door open on the second door on the right and yelled, "I'm looking for the meanest roughest and toughest hooker in the Yukon."

The woman inside the room looked at the miner and said, "You found her!"

Then she stripped naked, bent over and grabbed her ankles.

"How do you know I want that position first?" asked the miner.

"I don't," replied the hooker, "but I thought you might want to open those beers first."

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No arms. No legs.

One day a girl decides to go running on the beach. She comes across a man with no arms and no legs laying in the sand. The man is sobbing uncontrollably, so the girl asks him "why are you crying sir?". The nugget man controls his tears and says "I've never been hugged before". So the girl picks him up and gives him a warm hug. The man is all smiles as she sets him back down and goes on her way. The next day, the girl goes for another run and comes across the nugget man crying again. She asks what's wrong this time and he replies "I'm so depressed...I've never been kissed before". The girl, now feeling really sorry for the poor nugget, leans down and gives him a big kiss on the lips. The next day, on her run, the girl finds the old nugget man still crying. "What could be wrong now?" she asks. "I've never been fucked before," the old man squeaks out between sobs.

So the girl picks him up, walks to the water, chucks him in, and yells, "There! You're fucked!"

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A gold nugget walks into a bar...

A gold nugget walks into a bar. The bartender says, "'ey you! Get outta here!"

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Old Joe and the miner

A grizzled old miner comes out of the wilderness and steps into the pub. Pulling out a gold nugget and placing it on the bar he asks the bartender "You got any whiskey in this establishment?"

The bartender complies and places a glass and a bottle in front of the miner.

After a few drinks the miner asks the bartender "You got any women in this establishment?"

The bartender replies "No, but we've got old Joe out back."

The miner shakes his head and says. "It's been a long while, but I'm not into that sort of thing."

After quite a few more drinks he calls the bartender over again and says "So lets say I was into that sort of thing after all, who would have to know about it?"

"Just you, me and those guys at the table over there" replies the bartender.

"Those guys? Why would those guys need to know?" asks the miner

"Well they gotta hold Old Joe down. He's not into that sort of thing either."

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A prospector struck it rich...

so he came down from the mountains and walked into a saloon in the nearest town. "I'm lookin' for the meanest, roughest and toughest whore in the Yukon!" he said to the bartender.

"Well, we got her!" replied the barkeep. "She's upstairs in the second room on the right." The prospector handed the bartender a gold nugget to pay for the whore and two botles of beer.

He grabbed the bottles, stomped up the stairs, kicked open the second door on the right and yelled, "I'm lookin' for the meanest, roughest and toughest whore in the Yukon!"

The woman inside the room looked at the miner and said, "You found her!" Then she stripped naked, bent over and grabbed her ankles. "How do you know I want to do it in that position?" asked the miner.

"I don't," replied the whore, "but I thought you might like to open those beers first."

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A man walks into a fast food restaurant, followed by a priest.

What can I get you today? Says the cashier.

I'll have one cheeseburger and a kid sized chicken nugget portion please.

The priest asks the man What are you getting the kid sized portion for?

Well, says the man my lazy 7 year old isn't doing his chores and says he won't do anything unless I get him some chicken nuggets. He says he'll do anything after I get him some.

He'll do anything? Asks the priest.

Yeah, I reckon any kid would do whatever you want for a bit of junk food. Says the man jokingly.

The priest thinks long and hard and says to the cashier

I'll have 20 kid sized chicken nugget portions please.

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[OC, be gentle] Ronald McDonald snuck up on a Happy Meal and said, "Serve fries!!!"

The Happy Meal replied, "Nugget out of my face."

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What do you call a bird with no limbs?

A chicken nugget

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What happens when you get a chicken nugget hard?

You get a chicken tender.

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How are nuggets made?

Bacterial Meningitis

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A guy strikes it rich mining for gold up in the Yukon...

...so he heads for town at the base of the mountain. He walks into the local brothel, slams down a nugget of gold, and says, "I want two beers and the name of the *filth*iest, *RAUNCH*iest whore in *alllll* the Yukon!"

The bartender slides two cold ones down the line and says, "Well, that'd be Sandy, upstairs, second door on your right."

The Miner throws him another bit of gold, grabs the beer and heads upstairs. He kicks open the door and says, "I'm lookin' for the *filth*iest, *RAUNCH*iest whore in *ALLLLLLLL* the Yukon!"

Sandy, without skipping a beat, bends over, ass in the air, and says, "Well, here I am!"

The Miner stops and grunts before saying, skeptically, "And just what makes you think I wanna start in *that* position?"

Sandy shrugs and says, "I just figured you wanted to open those beers first!"

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Which part of the chicken does the nugget come from?

All of them.

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My friend bet me a tenner that I can't stand to watch more than 30 seconds of nugget porn.

I lasted 20 seconds that shit was fire tho.

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What do giant steel beams say when they come across a nugget of gold?

Au

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If pornhub shows regular porn, who shows nugget porn?

Stubhub

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What do you call a chicken with no wings or legs?

A chicken nugget

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What kind of porn to chickens watch?

Nugget porn.

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What do you call a girl without arms and legs?

A fuck nugget

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What do you call a burnt nugget?

nigget

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What do you call a burnt chicken nugget

A chicken nigga

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What are the most funny Nugget jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Nugget? Well, here are the best Nugget dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Nugget pick up lines to share with friends.

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