Nuclear Power Jokes
38 nuclear power jokes and hilarious nuclear power puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about nuclear power that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Nuclear Power Short Jokes
Short nuclear power jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The nuclear power humour may include short nuclear reactor jokes also.
- A Soviet newspaper announces: "Last night, the Chernobyl nuclear Power Station fulfilled the Five Year Plan for heat energy generation..."
"...in four microseconds." - What's the difference between a nuclear power plant and your mom? I wouldn't enter a nuclear power plant without protection.
- I set up a small nuclear power plant in my garage. It was running well until I got busted by a fish and game warden of all people. He gave me a fat ticket for not having a fission license.
- How powerful are the Arktika's two nuclear reactors? I don't know, but it's enough to break the ice...
*Hi I'm \_Boonie\_* - Why do nuclear power opponents always keep the lights on? They want to be the first to know they've made a change.
- Nuclear weapons were discovered after a failed attempt to harness the power of Chuck Norris.
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Nuclear Power One Liners
Which nuclear power one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with nuclear power? I can suggest the ones about nuclear and nuclear engineering.
- I recently opened up a nuclear powered restaurant. It's called fission chips.
- What do you call a cellphone company that uses nuclear power? Cher-Mobile
- What do you call a nuclear-powered car? A mobile-Chernobyl!
- Where do hippies get all their flower power? From a nuclear plant
- Which scientist invented the nuclear powered floor cleaner? J. Robert Moppenheimer
- Chuck Norris can run a nuclear power station using a rowing machine.
- Why does Homer Simpson work at the Nuclear Power Plant? So he can bring home the D'oh!
- What's more powerful than a North Korean nuclear bomb? Ford Fiesta.
- EA is like a Nuclear Power plant
- I took a tour of a nuclear power plant yesterday It was pretty rad.
- How will an IT guy fix a lamp? He'll restart the nuclear power plant
- What has 3 thumbs and was born near a nuclear power plant? This guy
Uproarious Nuclear Power Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about nuclear power you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean nuclear fission jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make nuclear power pranks.
A grandson asks his grandfather: "Grandpa, is it true that in 1986 there was an accident at Chernobyl Nuclear Power Plant?"
"Yes, there was"
answers the Grandpa and patted the grandson's head.
"Grandpa, is it true that it had absolutely no consequences?"
"Yes, absolutely"
answered the Grandpa, and patted the grandson's other head.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two Aliens meet at a Bar in Deep Space
Two Aliens meet in a bar in deep space.
**First Alien:** On my way here I passed a beautiful blue world, 2/3 covered by water, The dominant race have discovered Satellite technology and Harnessed the power of nuclear weapons for defense.
**Second Alien:** Interesting, so it looks like we have an emerging intelligence in the Galaxy.
**First Alien:** That is what i thought but then I realized they pointed them at themselves.
After joining the submarine forces of the Navy, I was guaranteed that I would be stationed on a nuclear-powered submarine by an Admiral.
Unfortunately, when I received my order I found out that my post would be a navigator on a Diesel-powered sub with no nuclear capability.
When I approached my command to complain, I was told that this happened all the time and would soon sort itself out - a moderator would soon move my post to the correct sub.
A smart guy and a fast guy walk into a bar.
The bartender asks: "Is it better to be smarter or fast?"
The fast guy says, "Fast because if you are working at a nuclear power plant and there is an accident, you can run away."
The smart guy says, "It's better to be smart because then you wouldn't be working at a nuclear power plant."
Did you hear about the guy at the gun store who got fired?
He went ballistic.
Did you hear about the apartment building that got blown up? There were roomers everywhere.
Bob: Do you know why my pool exploded?
Joe: Na.
Did you hear about the power plant employee that went on a shooting spree? People say he went melted down and went nuclear.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Lets talk.
A guy was seated next to a 10-year-old g**... an airplane. Being bored, he turned to the girl and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The girl, who was reading a book, closed it slowly and said to the guy, "What would you like to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know," said the guy. "How about nuclear power?"
"OK," she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow and a deer all eat the same stuff... grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"
The guy thought about it and said, "Hmmm, I have no idea."
To which the girl replied, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know s**t?"
Here's a Russian Joke I liked... that doesn't have any swears
The Year is 1973... and the big one hits, Nuclear War. So the two most powerful nations on Earth hellbent on each other's destruction fire their nukes at each other and each other's allies...
Anyway, during their flight a Soviet missile and an American missile cross each others path, and they decide to stop and stay for a while before the world ends. so they stay and drink and joke and have a jolly good time. By the end of the day the American missile is drunk and says, "You know... we should go now." To which the Soviet missile replies, "You're right, let me walk you home."
An American soldier, English soldier, and Chinese soldier and standing together on top of their respective submarines...
The English soldier says, "The English have phenomenal subs. We can stay under for a week without coming up!"
The Chinese soldier quickly replies, "A week! Our subs can stay under for a month, easy."
The American lets out a chuckle and says, "With our nuclear power subs, we can remain underwater for over three months!"
All of a sudden, a U-boat rises from the water and a man comes out. He asks, "Did we win the war?"