November Jokes

Following is our collection of ontario puns and oct one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including November jokes for adults, dirty sep jokes and clean apr dad gags for kids.

The Best November Puns

No Nut November was pretty tough

Now I can finally eat nuts again, thank God I had masturbation to keep my mind off of the sweet little bastards.

Did you know too much sex can cause memory loss

I read that in a medical journal on page 34 at 3:23 pm last year on Wednesday November the 7th.

What do Donald Trump and a pumpkin have in common?

They're orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be tossed out in early November.

How is Donald Trump like a jack-o-lantern?

They are both orange, round and should be thrown out in early November.

Man, if you thought No Nut November was bad...

Wait until No Net December.


I don't get what's so hard about No Nut November

It's the 3rd day and I haven't eaten any nuts yet. I just distract myself by constantly masturbating all day.

My childhood crush and I are finally getting married this year!

Me in August, and her in November.

What's worse than no nut November?

No net December.
Defend net neutrality.

Who would win a battle between an orangutan and a hyena?

I don't know, but we'll find out November 8, 2016.

I am really glad that No Nut November is over.

A whole month without cashews was rough.

On Sunday November 6th, USA will move an hour back ...

... and on Tuesday November 8th, we move back half a century.


The CDC recommends that funeral gatherings be limited to 30 people and holiday gatherings be limited to 6 people.

Funeral proceedings for Gobbles the turkey will be held on November 26th and again on December 25th. Please bring beer to celebrate his life.

I was warned in November 2016...

People warned me, that if I voted for Hillary Clinton it would be the end of civility and truthfulness in the US as we know it, the deficit would skyrocket, and there would be never ending investigations of the president.

Well, I voted for Hillary and that was what happened!

How many seconds are there in one year?

12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.

How are Donald Trump and a jack o' lantern alike?

They're both orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be thrown out the first week of November.

First we had No Nut November....

Now we have No Net December.

Why is No Nut November so goddamn boring?

It is probably the most anticlimactic month

If you eat too many salted pretzels on Halloween, what happens the next day?

November thirst.

I'm devastated that I won't be able to celebrate my birthday this March

I was born in November


I fed this kid peanut and he almost died.

I guess some people take No Nut November way too seriously.

What do pumpkins and Donald Trump have in common?

They're both orange and need to be thrown out in early November.

What is squirrels's least favourite month?

November

A little son asks his father what a communism is...

...and the father starts explaining:

"Well, son, once upon a time there was this man named Lenin, except his real name was Uljanov. He had a friend named Stalin, except he wasn't his friend and his name was Dzugashvili. They started the October revolution, except it wasn't a revolution, it was a coup, and it wasn't in october, it was in november..."

"Jesus, dad, what a mess!" proclaims the son.

"Son, now you understand communism!"

Who will survive no nut november the longest?

The people with a severe nut allergy

Little known fact, you can actually nut during No Nut November

You just can't let anyone cashew

Having too much sex can cause memory loss

I read it on page 37 in a medical journal in November 2006 at 4:19pm

I used to always do No Shave November

At least until I started growing facial hair.

I've already failed No Nut November

I failed the first time at 1:37am, and the second time at 1:11am.

My wife said we should spice up our love life

What do you mean? I asked.

She said let's do a bit of role playing. I'll be the doctor and you be the patient .

Alright... I went with it, How are you, doctor?

We have no appointments till November. Goodbye .

Experts are now saying that Hurricane Harvey...

is the worst disaster to hit the United States since last November!

What do Donald Trump and a Halloween Pumpkin have in common?

They're both orange, full of crap and should be thrown out in November.

Why is it difficult to follow no nut November ?

Well, it gets increasingly 'hard' as the days pass by.

No Nut November is gonna be super easy this year.

I decided to stop eating nuts altogether. It was cutting into my masturbation time too much.

How is Donald Trump like a pumpkin?

They're both orange on the outside, hollow on the inside, and should have been thrown out in early November.

What do Trump and a Jack-o-Lantern have in common?

Both are hollow, orange, and need to be thrown out by early November.

Edward Snowden was discovered trapped inside of one of his ski lodges this Saturday, November 19th.

"Edward Snowden Snowed in Snowden Snow Den."

Court Hearing in Helsinki

The judge questions the culprit:
"Where have you been in the night of the 4th November to 11th February?"

Why did the squirrel fall dead from the tree?

Because it's No Nut November.

I am not turning my clocks back in November.

I am not giving 2020 an extra hour's worth of damage.

If we arrested all of the US' Corrupt Politicians...

We wouldn't have anyone to vote for in November.

Why is the most powerful man in America scowling more since November?

He can't help it, winters are cold in Russia.

If you can read this...

India Mike November Echo Victor Echo Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha Golf India Victor Echo Yankee Oscar Uniform Uniform Papa November Echo Victor Echo Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha Lima Echo Tango Yankee Oscar Uniform Delta Oscar Whiskey November November Echo Victor Echo Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha Romeo Uniform November Alpha Romeo Oscar Uniform November Delta Alpha November Delta Delta Echo Sierra Echo Romeo Tango Yankee Oscar Uniform.

Stopped shaving for November, at first I hated the mustache, but what can I say?

It's grown on me.

You may have heard of No Nut November

But after I came twice in April what I'm really hoping for is a No Fetus February

Joe Biden knows in his heart that he is the only one who can truly defeat Ronald Reagan this November.

Oh sorry, I meant Joe Biden knows in his heart that he is the only one who can truly defeat Joe Biden this November.

Now that No Shave November is over, I don't really want to shave off my beard

It's growing on me

I said hi to a feminist today.

The court case is decided for November 8th.

Who are the Minnesota Vikings' toughest opponents?

November and December.

Green Day released a new politically fuelled single today called "Wake Me Up When November Ends"

T___T

You simply cannot trust quotes found on the internet.

β€”Abraham Lincoln, November 19, 1863.

Which November holiday is a weed smoker's favorite?

Danksgiving.

Why was 9/11 the worst day in American history?

Because on the 9th November Donald Trump was elected president

What do Donald Trump and the milk in my fridge have in common?

It better get thrown out by November 8 or else I'm going to get violently sick.

October is Octover

November is Nowvember.
December is Desoonber.

No Shave November

At first I didn't like the facial hair I had.
But as I waited I started to like the beard more and more.
One might say its...

Growing on me.

There is an abundance of dec jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 55 funniest jokes and november puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any trump witze you can hear about november.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes