November Jokes

Following is our collection of November funnies and chistes working better than reddit. They include dirty puns, clean gags suitable for kids, that are actually fun like the best witze.

The Best November jokes

No Nut November was pretty tough

Now I can finally eat nuts again, thank God I had masturbation to keep my mind off of the sweet little bastards.

What do Donald Trump and a pumpkin have in common?

They're orange on the outside, hollow on the inside and should be tossed out in early November.

How is Donald Trump like a jack-o-lantern?

They are both orange, round and should be thrown out in early November.

Man, if you thought No Nut November was bad...

Wait until No Net December.

My childhood crush and I are finally getting married this year!

Me in August, and her in November.

What's worse than no nut November?

No net December.
Defend net neutrality.

Who would win a battle between an orangutan and a hyena?

I don't know, but we'll find out November 8, 2016.

I am really glad that No Nut November is over.

A whole month without cashews was rough.

On Sunday November 6th, USA will move an hour back ...

... and on Tuesday November 8th, we move back half a century.

I was warned in November 2016...

People warned me, that if I voted for Hillary Clinton it would be the end of civility and truthfulness in the US as we know it, the deficit would skyrocket, and there would be never ending investigations of the president.

Well, I voted for Hillary and that was what happened!

How many seconds are there in one year?

12 of them: January 2nd, February 2nd, March 2nd, April 2nd, May 2nd, June 2nd, July 2nd, August 2nd, September 2nd, October 2nd, November 2nd, December 2nd.

First we had No Nut November....

Now we have No Net December.

If you eat too many salted pretzels on Halloween, what happens the next day?

November thirst.

I'm devastated that I won't be able to celebrate my birthday this March

I was born in November

I fed this kid peanut and he almost died.

I guess some people take No Nut November way too seriously.

What do pumpkins and Donald Trump have in common?

They're both orange and need to be thrown out in early November.

Who will survive no nut november the longest?

The people with a severe nut allergy

Little known fact, you can actually nut during No Nut November

You just can't let anyone cashew

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot

India Foxtrot Yankee Oscar Uniform Charlie Alpha

November Romeo Echo Alpha Delta Tango Hotel

India Sierra India Mike November Echo Victor Echo

Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha

Golf India Victor Echo Yankee Oscar Uniform

Uniform Papa November Echo Victor Echo Romeo

Golf Oscar November November Alpha Lima Echo

Tango Yankee Oscar Uniform Delta Oscar

Whiskey November November Echo Victor Echo

Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha

Romeo Uniform November Alpha Romeo Oscar Uniform

November Delta Alpha November Delta Delta Echo

Sierra Echo Romeo Tango Yankee Oscar Uniform

Having too much sex can cause memory loss

I read it on page 37 in a medical journal in November 2006 at 4:19pm

I used to always do No Shave November

At least until I started growing facial hair.

My wife said we should spice up our love life

What do you mean? I asked.

She said let's do a bit of role playing. I'll be the doctor and you be the patient .

Alright... I went with it, How are you, doctor?

We have no appointments till November. Goodbye .

Experts are now saying that Hurricane Harvey...

is the worst disaster to hit the United States since last November!

Why is it difficult to follow no nut November ?

Well, it gets increasingly 'hard' as the days pass by.

How is Donald Trump like a pumpkin?

They're both orange on the outside, hollow on the inside, and should have been thrown out in early November.

Rudolph the red

November a very rich soviet couple where walking back to there home. They hear some distant thunder and the man looks up at the clouds yep it's gonna rain tonight

What are you talking about says the wife it's clearly going to snow you idiot

It's to warm to snow it's going to rain, and look honey there's the friendly neighborhood communists officer let's ask him

They walk up to the communist officer and he says hi I'm Rudolph how can I help?

The husband asks the question and Rudolph say hmmm I think it will rain tonight

No it's not proclaims the wife

The husband responds honey Rudolph the red knows rain dear

What do Trump and a Jack-o-Lantern have in common?

Both are hollow, orange, and need to be thrown out by early November.

Edward Snowden was discovered trapped inside of one of his ski lodges this Saturday, November 19th.

"Edward Snowden Snowed in Snowden Snow Den."

Why did the squirrel fall dead from the tree?

Because it's No Nut November.

Court Hearing in Helsinki

The judge questions the culprit:
"Where have you been in the night of the 4th November to 11th February?"

If we arrested all of the US' Corrupt Politicians...

We wouldn't have anyone to vote for in November.

Why is the most powerful man in America scowling more since November?

He can't help it, winters are cold in Russia.

Stopped shaving for November, at first I hated the mustache, but what can I say?

It's grown on me.

If you can read this...

India Mike November Echo Victor Echo Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha Golf India Victor Echo Yankee Oscar Uniform Uniform Papa November Echo Victor Echo Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha Lima Echo Tango Yankee Oscar Uniform Delta Oscar Whiskey November November Echo Victor Echo Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha Romeo Uniform November Alpha Romeo Oscar Uniform November Delta Alpha November Delta Delta Echo Sierra Echo Romeo Tango Yankee Oscar Uniform.

You may have heard of No Nut November

But after I came twice in April what I'm really hoping for is a No Fetus February

I have this yearly fundraising going on...

So, I have this yearly fundraising going on. Every year in november I take 70€ and donate them to a poor game developer. As a little thank you, they give me a shooter game, every year. But throughout the last years, these games became worse and worse. Many of my friends could not understand, why I wasted 70€ every year, but it was a tradition to me.
So this year again, I continued this tradition and to my uttermost suprise, the shooter I got this year, was pretty nice.

Or in other words: The new CoD isn't all that bad

Who are the Minnesota Vikings' toughest opponents?

November and December.

There once was a woman named Ricity Thompson.

She was a successful politician, eventually becoming a popular presidential candidate. People were enthusiastic about her campaign, many chanting for her to be elected. Her opponent, Geoffrey McDonald, was also popular, and it was tough to say who would become the POTUS. Until that fateful November afternoon: the votes were tallying up, more than had ever been seen. The voting machine couldn't process all the information. Overloaded, it began to malfunction, releasing an electric bolt that hit McDonald square in the chest. Indeed, in the end, his downfall was elect Ricity.

Green Day released a new politically fuelled single today called "Wake Me Up When November Ends"

T___T

Now that No Shave November is over, I don't really want to shave off my beard

It's growing on me

Joe Biden knows in his heart that he is the only one who can truly defeat Ronald Reagan this November.

Oh sorry, I meant Joe Biden knows in his heart that he is the only one who can truly defeat Joe Biden this November.

Which November holiday is a weed smoker's favorite?

Danksgiving.

What do Donald Trump and the milk in my fridge have in common?

It better get thrown out by November 8 or else I'm going to get violently sick.

You simply cannot trust quotes found on the internet.

β€”Abraham Lincoln, November 19, 1863.

Why was 9/11 the worst day in American history?

Because on the 9th November Donald Trump was elected president

I really don't understand why people tell 9/11 jokes.

What happened on the ninth of November?

October is Octover

November is Nowvember.
December is Desoonber.

Donald Trump is like a Halloween pumpkin...

Orange, full of slime, evil grin, and thrown out in early November.

I said hi to a feminist today.

The court case is decided for November 8th.

No Shave November

At first I didn't like the facial hair I had.
But as I waited I started to like the beard more and more.
One might say its...

Growing on me.

John F. Kennedy was feeling down one November afternoon.

He decided to go on a ride to clear his head.

I took my dog to get neutered.

He pretty much won No Nut November.

Wake me up...

When November 2020 ends.

I'm keeping my beard after No-Shave November.

It's really starting to grow on me.

What is the spookiest day of the year?

November 8th.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends.

Joko Jokes