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Note Jokes

195 note jokes and hilarious note puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about note that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article is all about punny jokes related to notes - from music notes to post-it notes! From death notes to sick notes, readers can expect a wide range of witty humor as the piece reads through various message-related puns. Don't forget your lunchbox note - check out this article for laughs!

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Funniest Note Short Jokes

Short note jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The note humour may include short memo jokes also.

  1. My wife left a note on the fridge saying, "This isn't working, goodbye." I opened the refrigerator and it works just fine. Weird.
  2. Security officer: If you find a USB outside, don't bring it into the office Me (taking notes): Note to self: Only bring international bees into the office
  3. What's the difference between a rock guitarist and a jazz guitarist? A rock guitarist plays 4 notes in front of 1000 people, while a jazz guitarist plays 1000 notes in front of 4 people.
  4. Darth Vader: Luke, I know what you're getting for Christmas. Luke: How?
    Darth Vader: I felt your presents.
  5. Where do naughty rays of light go? Prism
    (Note: I made this joke up. Sorry if this little note refracts from the humour.)
  6. Why did the Muslim take his Note 7 onto an airplane? Do I really have to answer that? Who doesn't bring their phone with them when they travel?
  7. Somebody actually complimented me on my parking today. They left a note on the windscreen. It said, "Parking fine", so that was nice.
  8. Don't drink water while studying... Why?
    Because chemistry says that concentration decreases while adding water.
    Note: My first attempt. Thanks.
  9. The new Call of Duty just got released in Iraq They call it the Sims
    Note: this technically a repost
  10. I have a Muslim friend with a Note 7... It only gets awkward when he shouts "Allahu Akbar" when plugging it in.

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Note One Liners

Which note one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with note? I can suggest the ones about remarks and reminder.

  1. What's a pirate's favorite musical note? The High Cs
  2. i got complimented on my driving earlier they left a note on the car saying parking fine
  3. A note to the mods 🎵
  4. Britain should have written a break up note "It's not EU, it's me"
  5. Someone complimented my parking today! They left a little note that said "parking fine".
  6. I just tried out the Samsung Gear-VR with my Note 7. It was mind-blowing.
  7. What type of writing makes the most money? Ransom notes.
  8. LPT for College: Laminate your notes so your tears roll off of them.
  9. What has a ring but no fingers? The former owner of a Note 7
  10. What has one finger and is very demanding? A ransom note.
  11. What do you call an accordionist who can play more than three notes? A prodigy.
  12. Samsung have done well with the Galaxy Note 7 Sales are blowing up!
  13. What type of writing is the most profitable? A ransom note.
  14. What is Michael Bay's favorite phone? Note 7
  15. Why do cows make terrible accordion players? Because they always milk the notes.

Galaxy Note 7 Jokes

Here is a list of funny galaxy note 7 jokes and even better galaxy note 7 puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I made a new mixtape, it was trash Until I played it on my new galaxy note 7, then it was fire
  • I let my kids play on my Samsung Galaxy Note 7... They had a Blast!
  • I love this time of the year... when the nights are drawing in, there's a chill in the air & the whole family gathers round a roaring Galaxy Note 7
  • What is Micheal Bay's favorite phone? The Galaxy note 7
  • Terrorists now have a brand new state of the art weapon that can be hidden in plain sight The Galaxy Note 7
  • Why did Samsung make the Galaxy Note 7 waterproof? It can't catch fire underwater... I think.
  • So I bought a Galaxy Note 7 today.. This phone is the bomb
  • Bad luck today, I have a bout of food poisioning AND I dropped my Galaxy Note 7 in the toilet by mistake :( Talk about explosive diarrhea.
  • BREAKING NEWS: Just in from a correspondent in the Middle East. ISIS to buy all Samsung Galaxy Note 7. #note7
  • The "Lumos/Nox" trick on Android phones is pretty neat. However... I'd advise the Galaxy Note 7 crowd to avoid "Avada Kedavra."

Suicide Note Jokes

Here is a list of funny suicide note jokes and even better suicide note puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A blonde got suicidal after hearing so many blonde jokes. Her family found a note where she threatened to "self-dye."
  • I hate when people don't leave a s**... note. Would it kill them to write few sentences?
  • I got a paper cut while writing my s**... note. It's a start.
  • My therapist committed s**... today. Hi s**... note read.
    "Do as I say, not as I do."
  • How did the man with no arms commit s**...? We'll never know - he didn't leave a note.
  • Whats at the end of every programmers s**... note? Goodbye World
  • My writer's block makes me want to kill myself And I would, but I dont know how to start the s**... note.
  • Why did James Comey refuse to indict Hillary Clinton? Because he found his s**... note in her Wikileaks emails.
  • What did the programmer's s**... note say? Goodbye world
  • Why did the man commit s**... by helium suffocation? He wanted to go out on a high note.
Note joke, Why did the man commit s**... by helium suffocation?

Musical Note Jokes

Here is a list of funny musical note jokes and even better musical note puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why did the accordion player go to hell? He tried to outplay the devil in a musical duel, but lost by one too many polka notes.
  • What did the music thief do in college? Take notes.
  • A thief was expelled from music school. It was a bit unfair, all he was doing was taking notes.
  • Why did the music note drop out of college? Because it couldn't pick a major
  • What is the priest's favorite musical note? A minor.
  • I got in trouble in school today I was caught passing notes in music class.
  • What's the difference between puberty and musical notes? Not too much. Tenors can't seem to hit either.
  • Listening to music can be dangerous... Some of the notes are sharp.
  • When a mine shaft collapses it's known to make a specific musical tone when the air rushes through the tunnels. What note is it? A flat miner
  • What's Kevin Spacey's favourite musical note? A minor

Music Note Jokes

Here is a list of funny music note jokes and even better music note puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Where do musical notes go surfing? On sound waves.
  • What's musical and useful at the grocery store? A Chopin Liszt
    Note: taken from one of those horrible "Joke of the Day" desk calendars. It took almost 12 months to get something clever.
  • What was the phedophiles favorite musical note? A minor
  • What's a cow's favorite moosical note?
    Beef-flat!
  • what do you call a term used to discriminate against music notes? a racial slur
  • How fast does a music note travel? Bach 1
  • Chuck Norris can play a whole note in 3/4 time.
  • Another bar joke So two music notes walk into a bar, the tender immediatly knew it was treble, i cant tell you the rest of the story though, i like to end it on a cleff hanger.
  • What do you call a descendant of a music note? Son of a pitch!
  • I hate minimalist music. It's too one-note.

Death Note Jokes

Here is a list of funny death note jokes and even better death note puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I'm so sick of people calling me a weeb If I had a death note they'd be sorry...
  • I once picked up a Death Note on my way home from School... I didn't want to lose it so I put my name on it just in case.
  • When Light wrote Chuck Norris' name in the Death Note, the book died.
  • What did Rand al'Thor say when his name was written in the Death Note? Light, ya got me!
  • Who is the protagonist of Death Note at 144p? Lite Yagami
  • If you write the Death Note on Chuck Norris, the Death Note dies.
  • The Death Note kills people. The g note kills emos.
  • Did you hear about that music composer who commited s**...?
    He didn't even leave a note.
  • Yo mama so s**...... She wanted to attend the f**... for Death Note.
  • What did the Puerto Rican guy say on his s**... note? I am going to commit DEATH-PACITO.
Note joke, What did the Puerto Rican guy say on his s**... note?

Humorous Note Jokes to Bring Fun and Laughter to Your Life

What funny jokes about note you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean noticed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make note pranks.

Got home to find my wife had left a note on the fridge that said "This isn't working I'm going to my mum's"


I opened up the fridge. The light was on and the beer was cold. I'm not sure what she was talking about.

Jack wakes up with a horrible hangover and a throbbing black eye.

The first thing he sees is a single rose on the side table and a note from his wife: Dear, breakfast is made. I've gone shopping to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you!
He stumbles to the kitchen and, sure enough, there's breakfast. Joe, he says to his son, what happened last night?
You came home s**... and got that black eye tripping over a chair.
So, why the rose, breakfast, and sweet note from your mother?
Oh, that. Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to t**... clothes, you screamed, 'Leave me alone, I'm married!'

The craziest thing happened at a bar tonight. A woman got her n**... pierced right in front of me!

On an unrelated note, I s**... at darts.

So a cop pulls over a guy for wearing his seatbelt..

tells the citizen that his captain gave him a 100 dollar bill to give to the 100th person he sees wearing their seat belt. The citizen looks a little confused, but of course, accepts the note, and proceeds to leave. The officer asks, " So, if you don't mind my asking, what are you going to spend the money on?" To a reply of, " yes, i do mind your asking, and frankly, i don't think its any of your business." The officer of course is stunned, but , as he goes to leave, the drivers objects. "If you must know, i'll probably spend it on getting my drivers license." The cop is taken aback, as the passenger says, " Oh don't listen to him, he's drunk." Shortly thereafter, a knocking comes from the trunk, and a muffled voice says, " are we over the border yet?"
edited for grammar n**....

Missing South Africa

In Toronto I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read:
"I miss South africa."
So I broke the window, took the radio and left a note that read:
"I hope this helps."

Daddy, is god a Man or a Woman?

Father: God is both.
Boy: Is God Black or White?
Father: God is both.
Boy: Daddy, is Michael Jackson God?
*Note* I know this joke is outdated, but a very close friend told it to me a couple years ago and as she recently passed away, I'm posting it here so people can know she was awesome.

Don't forget capital letters...

In the world of high-tech gadgetry, more and more people who send text messages and emails have forgotten the art of capital letters.
For those of you who fall into this category, please take note of the following statement:
"Capitalization is the difference between helping your Uncle j**... a horse, and helping your uncle j**... a horse."

An older couple is sitting in church

when the wife passes a note over to her husband. It says
"I just let a silent but deadly f**... loose. What should I do?"
The husband replies
"Get your hearing aid checked."

Making Sense of What's Happening in Europe

A policeman enters an interrogation room, in Athens, Greece.
He tells the perp: "You are accused of robbing the Bank of Greece, tell us where the money is!"
The perp reaches into his pocket and takes out a five-euro note.
"Here you go."

I was in Florida recently to visit a good friend...

and saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read, "I miss Detroit."
So I broke the window, stole the radio, and left a note that read...
"I hope this helps."

An Elderly Couple

An elderly couple Pauline & Frank were recently attending a church service at their retirement village.
About halfway through the service, Pauline took a pen and paper out of her purse, and wrote a note and handed it to Frank.
The note said:" I just let out a silent f**..., what do you think I should do?"
Frank scribbled back: "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."

B'dum tsss

A collection of jokes I have found over the years about drummers.
**NOTE:** Before you get offended, I AM A DRUMMER. I FIND THESE FUNNY TOO.
1. What do you call a drummer in a suit? The defendant
2. How can you tell a drummer's at the door? The knocking speeds up
3. What do you call a drummer with half a brain? Gifted
4. What does a drummer use for contraception? His personality
5. Did you hear about the drummer who finished high school? Me neither
6. What did the drummer say to the band leader? "Do you want me to play too fast or too slow?"
7. How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Five: One to screw it in, four to say that Neil Peart could've done it better
8. Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car? So that they can use the handicapped parking space
9. How do you get a drummer off your porch? Give him the money for the pizza
10. What do you call a guy who hangs out with musicians? A drummer
Anyone got any more?

s**... Math Time

So a 54 year old man cheats on his wife and leaves her a note saying that he has been sleeping with an 18 year.
The 54 year old wife reads the note, shrugs and writes one of her own.
When her husband gets home he reads the note, it says:
I know that you've been cheating on me with an 18 year old, but I have an 18 year old of my own and we all know 18 goes into 54 far more than 54 goes into 18.

She left me a note, on the fridge...

"It's not working anymore, I'm leaving you".
I opened up the fridge and it is working. She left me for nothing, that idiot.

My friend got jury duty

So I drove him down to the courthouse. He came out 5 minutes later and said we could go. I said "How did you do that?" He said it was easy, just pretend to be super racist and they let you go. So I tried it myself a couple weeks later.
Apparently it doesn't work if you're the defendant.

People don't usually compliment me on my driving...

But today I saw a note on my car that said "PARKING FINE". That was nice of them.
...
I'll e**... myself out.

A man goes to the restroom, and leaves his drink with a note "I spit into it", to avoid it getting stolen

He comes back and finds another note: "me too"

A professor was giving a big test one day to his students.

He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.
Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."
The next class the professor handed the graded tests back out. This student got back his test, his test grade, and $64 change.

A man parks his car on the street and goes into a shop....

...When he comes out, the car is not where he left it and apparently was stolen. So he calls the police and hopelessly goes back home. Two days later, he finds his car at his front door, with a note left in:
I am very sorry but I had to borrow your car, because my wife was in labor and about to give birth and I had to act quickly. I deeply apologize and send these front-row concert tickets for you and your wife to enjoy this tuesday evening.
So the man and his wife go to the concert tuesday evening. When they return home, they realize someone broke in and the house was burgled. And a note was left on the floor: Soo, did you like the concert?
Sorry for the terrible grammar :D

until tomorrow joke

I think my wife has a surprise vacation planned. She left a note by the bed telling me I had until tomorrow to have my bags packed.

Sorry, tuba players...

A father decides to put his son in a music class. The teacher assigns him the tuba and the dad goes home, leaving his kid there.
When the child comes home, the dad asks "What did you do today?"
The child said "I learned how to play the C Note!"
The next day, the dad asks "What did you do today?"
The child said "I learned how to play the G Note!"
The next day, the dad asks "What did you do today?"
"I joined the orchestra!"

A woman dropped a $10 note next to me. I thought, 'What would Jesus do?'

I turned it into wine. I bought wine.

iPod Shuffle

Today, I was playing my iPod on shuffle. The song, "This is Not the End" by The Bravery came on. The next song was "This is the End" by She Wants Revenge. It was followed by "The End." by My Chemical Romance. As soon as the songs finished, the battery promptly died. I think my iPod left a s**... note.

What face does a Syrian make when he has a bad day?

Assad one.
On a side note, I hope prosperity upon all the Syrians who have been displaced.

I was travelling on the West Coast when I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that said: "I miss Detroit"

...so I broke a window, stole the radio, and left a note that said, "Hope this helps."

Did you hear there was a nuclear e**... in space this morning?!

Most people call it the sun.
Note: My dad pulled this on me this morning. My friend hit me when I told them.

A computer science student...

...was writing a note to his crush before lecture. The student next to him grabbed the note.
The first student tried to grab it back. You can't see that, it's private!
The second student protested, But we're in the same class

About 4,000 years ago:

God: I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!
Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note*
God: Correction, I shall create a great flood!

My dad died in front of me

Before he died, he scribbled me a note. They were his last words. I decided not to open it till I was ready. A year later, I opened it and this is what is said, "You are stepping on my oxygen line".

A buddist monk recently became a street vendor

A passerby bought a $1 item from him and gave him a 50 dollar note.
The monk took the note and just sat down afte thanking him.
The guy got slightly angry when there was no change given and the monk answered
"change comes from within"

I think Samsung has messed up with my new phone's shipment.

I had booked a Galaxy Note ''S7'', not C4.

The iPhone 7 may be revolutionary and everything....

But the Samsung Note 7 blows you away.

I accidentally ran over and killed my neighbor's cat today...

I was too scared to tell him to his face, so I left a note saying "curiosity was here."

Somebody finally complimented me on my parking today!

I got a note on my windshield that said "Parking Fine".

My name is Jafar

My name is Jafar
I come from afar
There is Note 7 in my car
Allahu Akbar

What's the difference between a bull and a Samsung Note 7?

I'm not scared when the bull charges

A grave digger...

A grave digger hears a story about how Mozart had an unfinished song folded up in his coat pocket when he was buried.
The grave digger goes to the cemetery where Mozart was buried, and starts digging at the composer's grave.
The grave digger hits the coffin.
The grave digger opens the coffin, and sees Mozart holding the unfinished piece, and erasing each note on at a time.
The grave digger yells, "What are you doing?!"
Mozart responds with, "Decomposing."

I took some roadkill I hit home to barbeque for dinner,

On a related note... anyone have any use for a child's bicycle and backback?

Rita found her husband hanging in his bedroom one morning with a note on his bed reading I can't take the critism anymore.

She quickly cut the rope, brought him down and managed to revive him.
As her husband lay in her arms and slowly opened his eyes, she said emotionally my dear…that's NOT how you spell criticism!

I woke up this morning and saw that all my girlfriend's stuff was gone.

I walked into the kitchen, where I saw a note on the table. It read, "When you find out what you want, let me know."
I phoned her up and said, "I want pizza."

I saw a homeless man holding a sign. It said, "£2 will change my life."

Unfortunately, I only had a £5 note in my pocket.

I found my son hanging from a rope in his bedroom.

On the floor was a note saying, "I can't stand the critism anymore."
I quickly cut him down, gave him CPR and he started to breathe.
As he lay in my arms I saw his eyes slowly open and I said, "That's not how you spell criticism."

I told my sister that if you rearrange the letters in 'vanilla' you get 'pirate'

Her: no you don't
Me: yes, 'a villain' with a missing i.
Note: true story

My girlfriend hung a note on the fridge...

...which said: "I can't do it, it's not working anymore."
Door could be opened. Light is fully functional. Beer is cold.
I got no clue what she was talking about

When I was a kid -

My mum used to send me to the corner shop of our street with a ten-bob note, and for that I'd bring back 6 eggs, 2 bottles of milk, a loaf of bread, 5lb of potatoes and a packet of sweets for me. Trouble is, you can't do that today.....
Too many cameras.

God is watching

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch.
At the head of the table was a large pile of apples.. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: 'Take only ONE . God is watching.'
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, 'Take all you want. God is watching the apples

I got a strange note in my bag at the taco bell drive-thru last night...

The lady seemed very frazzled and the note said "help there are two armed men inside."
I drove off laughing, thinking "well yeah it would take forever to make tacos with one arm"

A man was brought to the FBI on suspicion of m**...

A man was brought to the FBI on suspicion of m**.... He argued that there was no way he could have done it, as he was in vacation in Prague for the week of the killing. The FBI took note of his travel records and let him go; his alibi czeched out.

The School teacher sent home a note with her student..

The note reads, Your son is an obedient and bright student, but spends too much time talking to girls.
Mother sends a note back the following day, Please advise a solution. Father has the same problem.'

A musician died while smoking w**... from a dollar bill...

At least he went out on a high note

An honest politician, a kind lawyer, and Santa were walking down the street...

...and they saw a £20 note. Who picked it up?
Santa. The other two don't exist.

The police recently complimented me on my driving

They left a note on my windscreen which stated Parking Fine

There's a Marine in Afghanistan

A marine was deployed to Afghanistan. While he was there, he received a letter from his girlfriend. In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. She also wanted the pictures of herself back.
So, the marine did what any other man would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find. He then mailed about 24 pictures of women (with clothes and some without) to his ex-girlfriend with the following note:
"I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your picture and send the rest back."

when i die I want it to be from being hit by a falling piano

That way my life ends on a dramatic note.

TIL the Earth produces global electromagnetic resonance with the highest peak frequency of 33.8Hz, slightly lower than a C#1 note with a frequency of 34.65Hz.

I guess you can say the earth is flat.

So I got my concealed carry permit yesterday

So I got my concealed carry gun permit yesterday and then went over to the local Bass Pro Shop to get a small caliber p**... for home protection. When I was ready to pay for the gun, the cashier said, s**... down, facing me. Making a mental note to complain about these new invasive gun control laws, I did as she instructed. After her hysterical shrieking subsided, I realized she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the reader. I still don't think I looked that bad.

Did you know the first Easter and ther first April Fools Day coincided as well?

The founder of both was a real trickster... He faked his own death!
(I feel like I should put a note here: this is not to mock religion... It's just a joke. If this offends you please get a sense of humor.)

An engineer wakes up one morning and goes downstairs.

He sees a note an the fridge from his wife. It read This isn't working. I'm at my mother's. He opened the fridge and discovered it was working just fine.

I got in touch with my inner self today.

Note to self, never get the 1 ply toilet paper again.

My girlfriend left a note on the fridge saying, This isn't working. I am leaving, good bye.

I opened up the fridge and it seems to be working just fine...and she says I'm the s**... one?

Note joke, My girlfriend left a note on the fridge saying,  This isn't working. I am leaving, good bye.

jokes about note