Not My Husband Jokes
5 not my husband jokes and hilarious not my husband puns to laugh out loud. Read bar jokes about not my husband that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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The Funniest Not My Husband Jokes for a Bone-Shaking Laugh
What is a good not my husband joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Three women are getting dressed in the locker room of a country club when a man runs in n**... with a bag over his head...
He waves his e**... around and streaks out again.
"Well, that's certainly not MY husband!" the first woman huffs to the others.
"No. That's definitely not your husband," the second woman answers.
"He's not even a member of this club!" says the third woman.
Ladies at the Golf Course
Three ladies are chipping up to the fourth hole at River Hill Golf Club, when a n**... man wearing a paper bag over his head jumps from the trees and runs across the green. The three ladies stare in awe at the size of his manhood. The first lady says, "He is definitely not my husband." The second lady, gazes at his manhood and says, "He is not mine either." After a very considered inspection, the third finally says, "He's not even a member of this golf club.
n**... man on a golf course
A foresome of ladies came across a man n**..., asleep in the bushes on their course. His hat was sheild in his face. Not my husband! says the first lady. The second and third repeat this not my husband refrain. The final lady approaches the man. She hmms and haws … then says Not my husband, but worse yet, he's not even a member of our club
Streaker in a Gym!!!
Three women are in a gym locker room dressing up to play racquetball, suddenly, a guy runs through the room wearing nothing but a bag over his head.
He passes the first woman, who looks down at his privates.
"Thank goodness!!! He's not my husband," she says.
He passes by the second woman, who also looks down as he's passing.
"He's not my husband either," she says, also not recognizing the unit.
He passes by the third woman, who also looks down as he runs by her.
"Wait a minute!!!" she says. "He's not even a member of this club!"
A priest walks up to his church's janitor
He then says that he has a problem - his stomach is very upset, and he has been running to the restroom all day. His problem is that the widow Mrs. Idoux is about to show up for her weekly confession, as she does every Friday at exactly 3:00. He asks the janitor to stand in for him at her confession, because Mrs. Idoux always has the same confession, carnal thoughts about a specific man. The priest says that he always gives Mrs. Idoux 10 Hail Marys and sends her on her way. The Janitor agrees, it is obvious the Priest would not ask such a thing were it unnecessary.
The Janitor steps in, and a couple minutes later, the widow Mrs. Idoux steps in to the confession booth. Mrs. Idoux says "Forgive me father, for I have sinned. I have caved into my carnal thoughts and performed o**... s**... on a man who is not my husband." The Janitor, realizing he cannot give the same penance for carnal thoughts as o**... s**..., so he quietly steps out of the booth, calls an altar boy over, and asks "Hey, kid - what does the priest give for o**... s**...?", to which the boy replies "A coke and a snickers bar, why do you ask?"
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