Nose Ring Jokes
14 nose ring jokes and hilarious nose ring puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about nose ring that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Nose Ring Short Jokes
Short nose ring jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The nose ring humour may include short nose job jokes also.
- Notice how every g**... buzzfeed has a nose ring? That's because nobody will ever put one on their fingers
- We call rings in ears earrings, in eyebrows eyebrow rings and in noses nose rings. Why don't we apply the same to fingers? And with this f**... I give you my hand in marriage....
- The secret c**... ring in my school still hasnt been busted by the police It's slipping right under everyone's noses!
Share These Nose Ring Jokes With Friends
Nose Ring One Liners
Which nose ring one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with nose ring? I can suggest the ones about nose and nose hair.
- Why do pigs have a ring through their nose? To make pulled pork.
Nose Ring Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about nose ring you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean nose ears jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make nose ring pranks.
So a man dies and goes to heaven...
When he got there, he approached St. Peter at the pearly gates.
St. Peter asked "What, in your opinion, was your most noble deed?"
"Uh, well, I saw some huge bikers harassing an old lady outside a bar once, so I went up to the biggest, baddest guy and ripped out his nose ring."
Impressed, St. Peter asked, "Well, when was all this?"
"Uh, about 5 minutes ago."
Some recent grads having a beer..
Three guys, Mike, Dave, and Doug were at a table in a bar enjoying some beers and conversation. A stranger came by and asked if he could join them and was immediately welcomed. After about an hour of lively conversation the stranger said, I can tell you are all recent college grads. I bet I can guess where each of you went to school.
That would be interesting, said Doug, I'd like to see how you could do that.
Well, Mike here, he's Harvard. That's easy. He's got the Haavard accent. He also made reference to some obscure points of business law and his stylish business suit seals the deal.
And Dave has got to be MIT. The smudged glasses and black t-shirt are a clue. He also made some references that show he has a good grasp of quantum theory and computer science.
That's amazing, said Doug. What about me?
Oh. You went to West Virginia University.
How do you know? asked Doug.
I saw your class ring while you were picking your nose.
A woman entered her daughter's room and found a letter
Dear mom
I hate to tell you this, but I escaped with my new boyfriend. He's sweet guy although people judge him because the rings on his ears and nose, and his many tattoos and his big bike.
I'm also pregnant. He tells me that we'll live happy in the forest and have many kids.
He also tells me that w**... is fine, and we'll grow it for our friends who will give us c**....
Don't worry, mom. We pray to god that scientist will find a cure for aids, because my darling deserves it.
I'm 15 now, mom, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'll visit you and introduce you to your grandchildren.
Love you. Daughter .
.
.
.
P.S.
Mom, I'm joking. I'm at our neighbor's house. By the way, the test grades report is on my table .
A man dies and appears before St. Peter at the pearly gates...
...St. Peter asks him, "Hast thou done anything that wishes to qualify to enter heaven?"
The man ponders and replies that he can think of one thing.
"One time these group of bikers were harassing this old lady, I told them to stop but they didn't, so I walked up to the biggest most heavily tattooed biker, ripped out his nose ring, threw him off his bike, kicked the bike over and yelled to them 'Leave her alone or you'll answer to me!'"
St. Peter was impressed, "When did this all happen?" He asked
The man replies, "Just a few minutes ago."
Oldie but goodie: A Jewish man and an Italian woman got married.
Both were virgins, and both were so innocent when it came to the subject of s**.... On the wedding night, they just weren't sure how it all works. So the man decided to call his mother to get a few pointers. But she simply says, "Look, son, just get undressed, then undress her. You'll know what to do. Trust me."
The newlyweds get undressed, but they are still confused. So the man calls his mother again. Frustrated, she says, "Just stick the longest part of you into the hairiest part of her!"
A few minutes later, the mother's phone rings again.
"I've got my nose in her armpit. Now what?"
There once was a big, strong bull...
There once was this big, strong bull. Had a ring in his nose, big horns and he went by the name of Hannibal. He had a field to himself with green grass, small dandelions and a fence. One day, the farmer brings some pretty cute cows and puts them in the field next to Hannibal.
So the bull walks up to the barbed wire and checks out the pretty ladies on the other side. He knows that he would like to get to know them a bit better - if you know what I mean - , but there is this fence between them. So he waits until the farmer leaves, takes a long run and jumps over the fence into the other field.
The cows look all startled and giggle: "O my, Hannibal... how did you get in here?"
He winks: "Just call me Hanni, honey... The rest I left hanging in the barbed wire."
- Sorry for the English, it is not my first language.
A guy dies and gets to the pearly gates
where st peter asks him
"son, to let you into heaven you must tell me one good thing you've done on earth"
the guy thinks for a minute and replies
"well, this one time i saw some some bikers out the front of a bar harassing a girl. So I walked over to the biggest biker, kicked his bike over, pulled out his nose ring, spat in his face and told him to leave the poor girl alone"
st peter is quite impressed with this and says
"well done my son, and when exactly did this happen?"
the guy replies
"about 5 minutes ago"
Bell Ringer Wanted
A beautiful, old church with a tall steeple and bell tower was in need of someone to ring the bell every hour as the priest was getting too old to climb the stairs.
He put out a sign asking for someone to fill the position, and an hour later he hears 3 slow thuds on the front door. The priest opens the door to find a man standing there with no arms. He says, "I am here about the open position, it has always been my dream to ring the bell in this church".
Hesitant, the priest figures he will let the man audition, so they walk all the way to the top of the steeple where the large bell resides. The priest tells the man to go ahead and ring the bell, not sure how he will be able to pull the cord without any arms.
The man takes a few steps back, then runs and jumps face first at the bell, and it let out the most amazing ring causing the entire town to stop in awe. The man however, was bleeding from the nose after hitting his face, and the priest said, "that was the most beautiful sound the bell has ever made, but I cannot allow you do that to yourself every hour".
Distraught, the man throws himself from the top of the bell tower to the streets below. Two men walking by see the man fall, and stop near the body. One says to the other, "he looks familiar, do you know his name". The other man replies, "no, but his face rings a bell".
How do we know the toothbrush was invented in Alabama?
If it had been invented anywhere else, it would be called a teethbrush.
What's the latest invention to come out of the UA engineering program? A solar-powered flashlight.
How can you tell if someone's a UA graduate? Look at the ring while they're picking their nose.
Why are criminals so hard to catch in Alabama? Everyone has the same DNA.
What does an Alabaman call a six-pack and a dead possum? A seven-course meal.
Since state jokes seem to be the thing today, and, well, I'm from Georgia...