Nose Job Jokes
22 nose job jokes and hilarious nose job puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about nose job that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Ridiculous Nose Job Jokes to Spark Fun and Laughter
What is a good nose job joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Financial collapse in Japan
Origami Bank has folded.
Sumo Bank has gone belly up.
Bonsai Bank has had to cut back some of its branches.
Karaoke Bank has been put up for sale and is going for a song.
There's something fishy going on at Sushi Bank...shareholders are afraid they might get a raw deal.
Kamikaze Bank shares have nose-dived.
500 jobs at Karate Bank have been chopped.
An old actor has trouble getting work due to failing memory...
After contacting many people that he worked with in the past , he is finally able to land a job in a popular new Broadway play. The director tells him its only one line at the beginning of the play, but it is a very important line. It sets the mood for the rest of the play. It is ESSENTIAL he nails the line. The old actor emphasizes that he will nail it. The director reluctantly agrees and proceeds to tell him his role. You will take a beautiful rose, bring it to your nose and take a deep breath and say the following line: *Ah, the sweet scent of my mistress…* That's it. Do not screw this up! The old actor thanks him 10 times over and proceeds to practice for the next 2 weeks nonstop.
Opening night comes. It's a sold out theater. He takes to the stage, spotlight on him. He raises his hand, takes a deep breath and says the line perfectly * Ah, the sweet scent of my mistress… * Just after the line is delivered the auditorium burst into laughter. He walks off the stage distraught. I don't get it. I nailed the line perfectly. What happened? The director looks at him and yells YOU IDIOT! YOU FORGOT THE FLOWER!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Guy walks into a bar and there's a gorilla sitting in the corner.
Guy says to the bartender, "What's with the gorilla?"
Bartender says, "I'll show ya." .
The bartender walks over with a baseball bat and smashes the gorilla right in the nose. The gorilla gets on his knees and gives the bartender a b**....
Bartender says, "What do ya think?"
Guy says, "That's great."
Bartender asks, "You wanna try?"
Guy says, "Sure, but don't hit me so hard."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
So I got a nose job last Tuesday...
It's amazing what h**... will do if you tip them.
(Original joke)
Did you hear about the duck who got a nose job?
He didn't like the bill.
My girl friend wanted a nose job...
So I tried. But her nostrils weren't big enough.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Psychic's advice
A woman went to a psychic and found out she was going to live to be 100!
She figured if she was going to be around that long, she may as well look her best. She got the works! Face lift, b**... job, nose job and looked amazing!
After her final procedure she got hit by a bus and died.
Upon arriving at heaven she cried and cried! "I was supposed to have 40 more years!"
God said "Oh, sorry. I didn't recognize you."
My wife always wanted a nose job.
So she became a tissue designer.
My girlfriend wanted a nose job for her birthday.
It took me a while, but I got her off.
Ivanka recently got a nose job.
When she asked her fathers opinion he said Fake Nose!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a gay nose job?
Crooked
Why was the nose jealous of the hand?
He was more passionate about his *job*
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What job did the Jewish girl have when she was 18?
*A nose job.*
Banking Crisis in Japan
Recent reports indicate the Japanese banking crisis shows no signs of improving. If anything, it's getting worse. Following last week's news that Origami Bank had folded, it was today learned that Sumo Bank has gone belly up. Bonsai Bank plans to cut back some of its branches.
Meanwhile, shares in Kamikaze Bank have nose-dived and 500 jobs at Karate Bank will be chopped. Analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank and staff there fear they may get a raw deal.
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Nose Job One Liners
Which nose job one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with nose job? I can suggest the ones about nose and nose hair.
- Did you hear about the duck who got a nose job? He didn't like the bill.
- My girl friend wanted a nose job... So I tried. But her nostrils weren't big enough.
- My wife always wanted a nose job. So she became a tissue designer.
- My girlfriend wanted a nose job for her birthday. It took me a while, but I got her off.
- Ivanka recently got a nose job. When she asked her fathers opinion he said Fake Nose!
- Why was the nose jealous of the hand? He was more passionate about his *job*
- What do you call a gay nose job? Crooked
- What job did the Jewish girl have when she was 18? *A nose job.*