Nose Hair Jokes
25 nose hair jokes and hilarious nose hair puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about nose hair that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Nose Hair Short Jokes
Short nose hair jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The nose hair humour may include short nose job jokes also.
- Pulled out a nose hair today... Judging by the reaction of the man asleep next to me on the train, it seems pretty painful.
- Ash sat up with a jolt, nose hairs on end. He sneezed explosively. Witnesses reported a peak ah-choo.
- I cried last night harder than I've ever cried before. I really should invest in a nose hair trimmer instead of plucking them.
- I had a girlfriend with beautiful long blonde hair. Unfortunately it all came out of her nose.
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Nose Hair One Liners
Which nose hair one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with nose hair? I can suggest the ones about nose ears and nose ring.
- What does a flame smell like? Burnt nose hair.
- TIL Fire smells like burnt nose hairs
- What's the smelliest hair? Nose Hair
- I've never liked nose hair before, but it's growing on me.
- I like what you did with your hair How'd you get it to stick out of your nose like that?
Entertaining Nose Hair Jokes to Laugh Out Loud Fun with Everyone
What funny jokes about nose hair you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean nose bleed jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make nose hair pranks.
Joey moves to a nudist colony
Joey moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letter from his grandmother asking him to send her a current photo of him in his new location. Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in a nudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it. The next day he discovers that he had accidentally sent the bottom half of the photo.
He is extremely worried but then remembers that his grandmother's eyesight is poor and hopes that she doesn't notice.
A few weeks later, he receives a letter from his grandmother. It reads
Dear Joey
Thank you for the picture. May I suggest that you get a haircut, your hair makes your nose look small.
Love Grandma
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My wife said, "it looks uncomfortable growing all that f**... hair under your nose..."
must ache
Jewish mother goes to the airport
to meet her daughter, who was returning from a summer abroad. The daughter gets off the plane hand-in-hand with a 7' tall Zulu warrior, with a bone through his hair and nose.
The mother yells at her "I said a *rich* doctor!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What are the longest hairs on the human body?
Nose hairs. Because every time you pull one your a**... twitches.
My wife said she found my first gray hair, but I didn't believe her for the longest time. Then when I was brushing my teeth this morning I saw it in the mirror, on the left side of my mustache.
It was right under my nose this whole time.
In honor of a bath time song sung by a fellow dad...
Here is mine:
Wash your body!
Oh yeah.
Clean your body!
Uh huh
Wash your body!
It's bath time tonight!
Let's get clean, alright!
Clean your fingers and your toes...
Wash your face, don't forget your nose
If it's Monday night we wash your hair.
But everytime wash behind your ears!
A blonde, who had just dyed her hair, went to the hospital because her whole body hurt.
She told the doctor that where ever she touched herself it would hurt.
The doctor told her to demonstrate.
She touched her nose and it hurt.
She touched her stomach and it hurt.
The doctor asked her if she was a blonde and she said yes.
"Look Here Lady, your finger is broken!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
All candles smell the same to me. Am I missing something?
They all smell like burnt nose hair to me.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mary walked into HR
Mary: I need to file a s**... harassment against Jim.
HR: why what did he do?
M: on Monday he walked up behind me in the kitchen and sniffed my hair. Saying I smelled good.
On Tuesday he did it again but that time he got closer.
And then today he dug his nose into my hair for at lease 10 seconds and said I smell sooo good
HR: well that is creepy, but that is really not him s**... harassment. Just invading person space.
M: you know Jim is a midget right!
HR: ohhhhhh
The policeman tells Johny at the police station following:
"
The thief who wanted to steal your wallet has got: a broken nose, three broken ribs, a concussion of the brain and he misses a bunch of his hair at the back of his head."Please, tell me Johny, how much money did you have in your wallet?"
Johny: "Only three euros."
The policeman: "Goodness! I suppose that if you would have ten euros in your wallet, the thief would probably not survive your self-defense-trial."
A guy admired the hair of three girls.
He walked by one and asked, "How'd you get such lovely blonde hair"
Taking her hand and gently running it through her hair, the girl answered, "It's natural."
The guy walked by the second girl and asked, "How'd you get such pretty brown hair?"
Fluffing her hair, the second girl said, "It's natural."
Finally the guy approached the third girl and asked, "How'd you get such cool green hair?"
Taking her hand and rubbing it up past her nose, then skimming it through the hair, she said, "It's natural."