Norwegian Jokes
91 norwegian jokes and hilarious norwegian puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about norwegian that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Norwegian jokes are known for being dry and often dark in nature. But they can also be really funny! Here are some of our favourites.
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Funniest Norwegian Short Jokes
Short norwegian jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The norwegian humour may include short viking jokes also.
- Why does the Norwegian military have barcodes on its ships? So when they return to the harbor they can Scandinavian.
- TIL: The Norwegian Navy have started to put barcodes on their ships. So they can Scan da navy in
- Every year there is a race from one side of Sweden to the other... They start at the Norwegian line and end up at the Finnish line.
- Did you know the Norwegian navy has giant barcodes on the sides of it's ships? Apparently so they can Scandinavian
- What do you call a group of Norwegian monarchs who ride motorcycles and enjoy both men and women? The Bikings.
- I met an extroverted Norwegian the other day. The whole conversation he was staring at my shoes and not his own.
- Did you know that the Norwegian navy has barcodes on the sides of their ships? So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian!
- Did you know that Popeye the Sailor Man doesn't seem strong to the Swedes and the Norwegians? He is, however, strong to the Finnish.
- Why do Norwegian battleships have barcodes on them? So when they dock they can Scandinavian.
- My Norwegian friend sent me a program he created... ...call that Norse code.
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Norwegian One Liners
Which norwegian one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with norwegian? I can suggest the ones about fjord and norwegian navy.
- Why do the Norwegians put barcodes on their battleships? So they can Scandinavian
- Who plays Han Solo in the Norwegian version of Star Wars? Harrison Fjord!
- What happens when a Norwegian robot scans a bird? It Scandanavian
- What do you call it when a Norwegian falls down a canyon? A fjordian slip
- Why are Norwegian women so hot? The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones!
- Why does rhe Norwegian navy have barcodes on their ships So they can scan-da-navy-in...
- How many Norwegians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 7
- A Danish person will not be nostalgic about old Beatles songs. But a Norwegian wood.
- Why did the Norwegian navy put barcodes on their ships? So they could scan da Navy in.
- What long and hard thing does a Norwegian wife get on her wedding night? A last name
- Why do Norwegian boats have barcodes on them? (Old but gold) To Scandinavyin
- Why do Norwegian ships have barcodes on the side of them… So they can Scan-da-navi-in
- Why did the Norwegian sell her boat? She couldn't a-fjord it!
- What kind of car do Norwegians drive? A Fjord Fjocus
- Why do Norwegian ships have barcodes on the side To Scandanavian
Norwegian Swede Jokes
Here is a list of funny norwegian swede jokes and even better norwegian swede puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Whaat do you get when you cross a Swede and a Norwegian? A socialist who wants to be king!
- Norwegian History The toilet seat was invented by a Swede in Minnesota, but twenty years later a North Dakota Norwegian invented the hole in it.
- Why do Norwegians and Swedes put bar codes on their military ships? So when they dock, they can Scandinavian.
- A Finn, Swede and Norwegian* guy went on an island Brejvik* shot them all.
Norwegian Navy Jokes
Here is a list of funny norwegian navy jokes and even better norwegian navy puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why does the Norwegian Navy put barcodes on all their ships? So when they get back to port they can scan-de-navy-in.
Say it aloud if you don't get it - Why do Norwegian navy ships have barcodes on the side? So when they come in to port they can scan da navy in
- Why did the Norwegian navy place barcodes on their ships? Because when they came to port they could ScanDaNavyIn
- Why do Swedish, Norwegian, and Finnish military ocean vessels have bar codes on the sides? So when they come home they can ...
scan da navy in - Do you know when the Norwegian navy puts bar codes on the sides of their ships coming into Oslo? It's so they can Scandinavian.
(Don't make me sounds it out for you) - Why do Norwegian ships always have barcodes? So they can scan-the-navy-in.
- Why did the Norwegian navy put bar codes on their ships? Because when they dock, they can Scandinavian.
Danish Norwegian Jokes
Here is a list of funny danish norwegian jokes and even better danish norwegian puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Fun fact: Popeye the Sailor Man isn't actually all that strong by Danish or Norwegian standards... ... but he's strong to the Finnish!
- It turns out I'm Norwegian, Swedish, and Danish Apparently there's more, but I can't Finnish.
Happy Norwegian Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about norwegian you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean danish jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make norwegian pranks.
51 Danes and 50 Norwegians were on a plane...
With no floor, and the passengers were hanging on a strap attached to the roof. The captain yelled: "The plane is too heavy! One of you have to fall to your death!" A Dane raised his hand and said: "I'll do it". Then all the Norwegians clapped their hands.
Three men and a parachute
So, a norwegian, a danish and a swedish person are on a private flight. Suddenly, the pilot turns on the speaker and says:
"The plane is malfunctioning and is going to c**.... There's three parachutes, and I'm going to take one. You're going to have to figure out who doesn't get one".
He then proceeds to jump out of the plane.
The three men panic, but the norwegian tells the others to calm down and then says to the swedish person: "Here. You take one, we'll figure out who gets the last one." And the swedish jumps.
The norwegian then turns to the danish person and says: "Let's grab the chutes and get out of this thing."
The danish says, very confused:" But you just gave the second to last parachute to that swedish guy? There's only one left now."
To which the norwegian replies: "Relax man, I gave him my backpack."
Hans the Norwegian
Hans was arrested for speeding... driving 66 miles an hour in a 50 mph zone. However, he explained to the officer,
"I saw a big sign vit 66 on it."
"That's Highway 66," the officer said disgustedly.
"Goodness sakes," replied Hans, "you should have seen me yesterday on highway 110!"
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman... (long joke)
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, an Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a v**... Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, a Ghanaian, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian, 2 Africans and you...
walk into a fine restaurant.
"I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group, "but you can't come in here without a Thai."
Foreign s**...
A man decides he wants to have a one night stand with a foreign girl. So he meets a girl they go to the bedroom. After the first round, the man says to her, You finish? The girl shakes her head, no. So they do it again. Now the man is really tired. So he says, You finish? Again, she shakes her head. So they do it again. By now, the man is exhausted. So he says to the girl, You finish? The girl answers, No, I Norwegian .
Norwegians like to joke about the inferior intellect of our Swedish neighbors. This is my favorite joke:
A Norwegian is sitting at the bar and enjoying a nice drink. He turns to the large muscle man sitting by his side and asks: "Do you wan't to hear a joke about the swedes?"
The man replies: "Well, buddy, before you tell that joke I'd like you to know this: I am the current Swedish heavy weight boxing champion. The guy next to me won the Swedish wrestling championship five times and the guy sitting next to him represented Sweden in the Olympic games as a weight lifter. Are you absolutely sure you wan't to tell that joke?"
The Norwegian thinks for a few seconds and replies: "Meh, Not if I have to explain the joke THREE times."
I went to a Norwegian restaurant the other day...
The only problem was- I couldn't a-fjord it.
TIL: Norwegian women are so hot, because vikings only took the most beautiful women as prisoners.
Gotcha ?
Apparently the norwegian government pays for you to hire convicts
I guess there are some pro's to hirin a con.
Apparently it's no longer politically correct to direct a joke at any racial or ethic minority, so...
An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Gurkha, a Latvian, a Turk, an Aussie, two Kiwis, a German, an American, a South African, a Cypriot, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Mexican, a Spaniard, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Swede, a Finn, a Dane, a Romani, a Bulgarian, a Swiss, a Greek, a Bulgarian, a Singaporean, a Norwegian, a Libyan, a Hindu, a Muslim, a Monk, an Italian, a Serb, a Russian and an Ethiopian went to a bar.
The bouncer said, "I'm sorry, you can't come in here without a Thai"
What do you call a Norwegian p**...?
A fjord e**....
What's a Norwegian's favourite car?
A Fjord Fjesta
Two Norwegian scientists were operating on a frog....
They taught it to jump on command. When they said "Jump!" it leaped forwards.
They removed one rear leg and said "Jump!". The frog leaped forwards.
They removed the other rear leg and said "Jump!", but nothing seemed to happen.
After much discussion they could conclude that if you remove both rear legs from a frog, it becomes deaf.
Why do Norwegians drive Chevys?
They're afraid of drowning in a Fjord.
Minnesota's worst air disaster occurred earlier today...
...when a Cessna 152, a small two-seater plane, crashed into a Norwegian cemetery there early this morning.
Ole and Sven, working as search and rescue workers, have recovered 826 bodies so far, and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the night.
How old is a middle-aged Norwegian?
They're in their fjorties.
A Swede, a Norwegian and a Finn
A Swede, a Norwegian and a Finn tried to swim from Norway to America on a dare. Ten miles from the Norwegian coast, the Swede gasped "I can't make it..." and promptly drowned. Fifty miles from the Norwegian coast, the Norwegian gasped "I can't make it..." and promptly drowned. The Finn had just caught sight of the American coast, when he sighed "I can't make it either..." and promptly swam back to Norway.
Finnish, swedish and norwegian went to bar..
Finnish, swedish and norwegian went to bar, because life s**... and alcohol is their way to escape it.
Norwegian archeologists have uncovered the very first Viking parenting book.
The title, translated into modern language, is *It Takes a Pillage*.
If being a 23 year old Norwegian swimwear model has taught me anything
It's that catfishing is surprisingly easy online
What do you call a Mexican-Norwegian saint who lives in Japan?
San Sanchezsen-san
What do you call a Norwegian h**...?
A Fjord pickup
Why did the Norwegians put barcodes on all their ships?
To Scandinavian.
How can you spot a Norwegian extrovert?
They will look at your shoes instead of their own.
what do you call a Norwegian call girl?
A fjord e**...!
How did the poor Norwegian cross the water?
Turns out it was afjordable.
It must be exhausting to have s**... with a Norwegian
They never Finnish
An couple of Swedish jokes
What does it say at the bottom of a Norwegian swimming pool?
- No smoking allowed.
Why do Norwegian motor bikers wear pyjamas hats instead of helmets?
- Because the helmet broke during the 300 metre free fall test.
Why did the Norwegian bring a car door to the desert?
- so he could roll the window down in case it gets too hot.
What does a Norwegian calculator say you if you enter 1 + 1?
- please wait...
Why does the Norwegians put sugar on their pillow?
To have sweet dreams!
Had a raccoon problem in my crawlspace and nothing worked to get rid of them. My neighbor told me to put lutefisk down there and that the rotting odor would keep them away....
A week later a Norwegian family moved in.
Why do all the Norwegian military vessels have barcodes on the bow?
So upon their return, they can Scandinavian
Who played Han Solo in the Norwegian dub of Star Wars?
Harrisen Fjord
A Norwegian fisherman came in to a bar...
A Norwegian fisherman came in to a bar, after a couple of beers he walked up to a lady and asked; "whats up?"
The lady, obviously not interested, said; " I'm a lesbian"
"what the h**... is that?" He said.
"Well," she said; "i prefer having s**... with women and drink beer".
The man went quiet, lost in thought with a confused look in his eyes.
After a minute she had to break the silence; "so, whats up with you?"
The man looked at her; "I thought I was a fisherman, but now i wonder if I'm actually a lesbian."
The name and symbol for Bluetooth are based on a Danish-Norwegian king, dubbed 'Harald Bluetooth'
He had three wives, and four children between them. One then became his heir.
In other words, Bluetooth paired successfully
One day Ole's wife Lena died.
When Ole called the coroner he told them in a heavy norwegian accent that they lived on eucalyptus street.
The operator (unable to understand) asked if he could spell it.
Ole replied. "Ill just drag her over to "Oak"
