North Jokes
157 north jokes and hilarious north puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about north that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
If you're looking for a laugh, check out our collection of classic North jokes! We've got jokes about Palmerston North, North Dakota, North Carolina, North Korea, the North Pole, compasses, the Eastern and Gulf Coasts, and more. Get ready to giggle!
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Funniest North Short Jokes
Short north jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The north humour may include short south jokes also.
- North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they're brainwashed by the government and the media. When every American knows that America is the best country in the world.
- What's the difference between North Korea and the US? North Koreans can't tell if their leader is seriously dead. Americans can't tell if their leader is dead serious.
- How did kim kardashian tell her kid about her upcoming divorce with Kanye? North, things between West and I have gone South.
- Kim and Kanye's divorce is rough on their son, North West. It's like he's getting pulled in two different directions.
- Why isn't there democracy in North Korea? Because everytime they try to pronounce "election" everyone starts to giggle
- You guys know how the toothbrush was invented in the south? Because if it was invented in the north, it would've been called a teethbrush.
- Make fun of Kim Kardashians baby name choice for 'North West' if you want... But that child is going straight to the top...
And slightly to the left... - BREAKING: North Korean leader in a vegetative state following surgery. They've begun calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive
- Why can chess Bishops only more diagonally? Because north, south, east and west are Cardinal directions.
- There's only one problem with North Korea's miracle cure for AIDS and Ebola: The directions say the medication must be taken with food.
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North One Liners
Which north one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with north? I can suggest the ones about east and west.
- Why do North Koreans draw line so well? They have a Supreme Ruler.
- What's the only drink size they allow in North Korea? A supreme liter
- I met a North African girl the other night, we spoke for hours. We just clicked.
- I asked my North Korean friend how it was there He said he couldnt complain
- What ethnicity is santa? North Poleish
- North Korea bans sarcasm What a great idea.
- I asked someone in North Korea how their day was going... They replied, "Can't complain."
- Why did North Korea's missile fail? It had projectile disfunction.
- Why do North Koreans hate jazz music? They don't have Seoul.
- Why is North Korea so good at geometry? Because they have a supreme ruler!
- I want to visit north Korea one day... before everything goes south.
- Why are North Korean Figure Skaters so good? It's all about the Execution
- Why does the north Korean navy have glass bottom boats? So they can see their air Force.
- Why is North Korea horrible? Because they have no Seoul.
- What do all North Korean's say when you ask them how their day was? "can't complain"
North Korea Jokes
Here is a list of funny north korea jokes and even better north korea puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you see that gymnast from North Korea in the Olympics? She didn't win gold but her execution was flawless.
- Did you hear about the pole vault champion of North Korea? He's now the pole vault champion of South Korea.
- There was once a starving homeless man near Pyongyang... This joke has been removed.
Food and shelter are plentiful in North Korea.
To desire more is greed. - I live in North Korea and I'm ready to tell the world what it's really like! [Edit]: The sun shines brightly on our smiles and future as our glorious leaders bring us joy with their mighty military.
- How does North Korea celebrate Christmas? With missile tows
- North Korea is handling Covid surprisingly well Last week 9/10 doctors said Covid-19 was under control,
This week the stat went up to 9/9! - North Korea is calling for war. In other news, it's Saturday.
- Why is everyone in North Korea illiterate? Because there can only be one Supreme Reader.
- People keep asking me how I'm doing since moving to North Korea Eh, can't complain.
- Kim Jung Un responds to why he doesn't let people leave North Korea. Kim Jung Un has said "The intent is to provide people with a sense of pride and accomplishment for escaping North Korea"
North Korean Jokes
Here is a list of funny north korean jokes and even better north korean puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- North Korean submarine accidentally destroys another North Korean submarine Woops, wrong sub
- Why is North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un so ruthless? He doesn't have a Seoul.
- A South Korean asks a North Korean How's life? The North Korean responds Well, I can't complain.
- A North Korean man frequently sneaks to the South Korean capital to gamble for bakery goods for his family. He is the seoul breadwinner
- Being a North Korean is tough and all but hey At the end of the day, I can't complain.
- What's a North Korean farmer's favorite time of year? Breakfast.
- How do you clear a North Korean bingo hall? B 52
- I asked my North Korean friend how he was doing.... ...and he responded, "I can't complain."
- Why are North Korean jokes so good? They have great execution
- Kim Jong Un walked into a bar The North Korean media still said he got a gold for high jump
North South Jokes
Here is a list of funny north south jokes and even better north south puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why did North Korea fight South Korea? Because North Korea has no Seoul
- I once took a holiday to the North Pole It was great while I was there but after that my holiday just went south.
- Why are South Koreans better dancers than North Koreans? They've got Seoul.
- North Korea has finished nuking the South, and there was one man left alive. He was the Seoul survivor.
- What do North Koreans lack that South Koreans do not? North Koreans have no Seoul.
- North Korea has declared a 'cultural war' on K-pop coming in from the South. They decided the best way to counter this would be to creat their own genre of music. They have named it K-Boom.
- Why did the North Korean defect to South Korea? He did some seoul searching.
- On my first trip to the North Pole I realised... ... it's all going south from here.
- toothbrush origin I suspect that the toothbrush was invented in the south,if it had been invented in the north, it would have been called a teethbrush
- Why North Korea falling in love with South Korea? Because South Korea has a beautiful Seoul
North Pole Jokes
Here is a list of funny north pole jokes and even better north pole puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Santa Claus will be allowed to go out and deliver presents without speading Covid-19 He has spent the last year in the North Pole in Ice-olation
- What's the difference between Reddit and the north pole? The north pole doesn't have as many snowflakes.
- Why doesn't Santa have any millennial elves? Because there are already enough snowflakes at the North Pole.
- Did you hear about the dyslexic guy that sold his soul to Satan? He is now forced to make presents in the North Pole for all eternity.
- How are they killing Covid in the North Pole? Santa-tizing
- How to get out of buying your kids Christmas presents Explain to them that due to Global Warming that the North Pole melted and that Santa and the Reindeer drowned.
- What do you call a workplace accident at the North Pole? Shelf on the elf.
- What do you call a chicken at the north pole? Lost.
- Almost everyone at the North Pole becomes extremely anxious whenever Santa feels depressed That's when he's most likely to elf harm.
- Why is the North Pole always so wet? Because of rain, dear.
Up North Jokes
Here is a list of funny up north jokes and even better up north puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A friend just returned from a visit to North Korea. Me: How was the stay over there?
Friend: Can't complain. - Why is North Korea so accurate at measuring microscopic distances? They have a supreme ruler
- Q: How's your visit in North Korea? A: Can't complain ...
- Donald Trump finally revealed his plans to defeat North Korea He's buying it and turning it into a Trump brand business
- North Korea's leader has been suspiciously absent, arousing concerns from his followers who all wonder... ...Is Kim Jong ill?
- I was watching the Dyslexic news channel earlier.
Apparently North Korea are making unclear threats to the US. - I don't get why people say that North Korea is bad My friend lives there, and he can't complain about anything.
- In North Korea, you cannot throw fruit in the snow... Because they do not have the right to freeze peach.
- Where do polar bears vote? The North Poll.
- The state of Florida is a navigational anomaly... The further north you go the more southern it gets.
Uproarious North Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
What funny jokes about north you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean central jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make north pranks.
A weather report for you
I just got off the phone with a friend living in North Dakota near the Canadian Border. He said that since early this morning the snow has been coming down, it is nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A North Irish girl lives with her grandmother...
and they find that they are running very low on money. The girl tells her grandma,
"I'm going to head off south to find work, I'll come back with money. I promise."
The girl is gone for many months, and when she returns home she has tons of money! The grandmother is overjoyed and says,
"How did you make all this money, child?"
The girl says in a hushed voice, "Well, I was a p**... grandma."
The grandmother looked enraged, "What did you say?!"
"I was a p**..., grandma! I'm sorry."
The grandmother calms down, "Oh thank God! I thought you said you were a protestant!"
Three men are on a boat back to North America...
A Mexican, an American, and a Canadian are all heading back to their home countries after going on a vacation in Europe. Suddenly the boat starts to sink. The Canadian says, "The boat is too heavy, we need to get rid of some stuff." The Mexican says, "We already have too many of these in Mexico!" and he throws the tacos out of the boat. The Canadian says, "We already have too many of these in Canada!" and he throws all the maple syrup off the boat. The American says, "We already have too many of these in America!" and he throws the Mexican off the boat.
*apoligies for racism, I am not a racist person*
A man owned a small farm
A man owned a small farm near Maddock. The North Dakota Wage and Hour Department claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out to interview him. "I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the agent.
"Well, there's my field hand who's been with me for three years. I pay him $600 a week plus free room and board. The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $500 a week, plus free room and board. Then there's the half-wit who works here about 18 hours a day. He makes $10 a week and I go into town and buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night," replied the farmer.
"That's the guy I want to talk to, the half-wit," says the agent.
"That would be me," replied the farmer sadly.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In 1941, a German boy named Hans was listening to the radio.
Over the radio, h**... announced that Germany was now going to war with the United States.
"Father, where's the United States?" asked Hans. His father pointed on a map to the continental nation in North America.
"And I'm told we're already at war with Russia," the curious lad continued. "Where is Russia?" His father pointed to where Soviet Russia lay in all its time zone-hogging glory.
"And we're also at war with the British Empire," added Hans. "Where is that?" His father pointed out all the territories of the empire upon which the sun never set.
"And where is Germany?" asked Hans. His father pointed to their country in central Europe.
Hans thought for a moment and then said, "Father, has h**... seen this map?"
A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker ....
A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker are walking down the street.
A reporter comes up to them and says,
Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?
The Saudi says, excuse me , what is this word shortage?
The Russian says, excuse me, what's meat?
The North Korean says, excuse me, what's an opinion?
The New Yorker says, excuse me, what's excuse me?
A reporter from North Korea's state-owned media asks a farmer...
A reporter from a North Korea's state-owned media asks a farmer, "Would you give your mansion to the supreme leader if you had one?"
The farmer answers, "Yes, of course I would!"
"If you had one million dollar, would you give it to the supreme leader, too?"
"Yes, absolutely!"
"How about five cows, would you give them to the supreme leader?"
The farmer hesitates, then answers, "No..."
The reporter is confused, "you would give a mansion and one million dollar to the supreme leader, why would you not give only five cows? Is it because you think cows can't match the highness of the supreme leader?"
"Well, yes... and also I really do have five cows..."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Kim Jong-Un has promised a new clear future for North Korea.
Oops! Spelt ***nuclear*** wrong.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you stop a North Korean tank?
Shoot the soldier pushing it.
How much of northern Canada is livable?
*Nunavut*
An international conference was being held..
In which USA, North Korea, Europe and Africa were taking part.
The judge said,"I would like to hear your opinions about shortage of food in the rest of the world, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask us".
African president asked, "What is food?".
Europe asked, "What is Short?".
USA asked, "What is the rest of the world?".
North Korea asked, "What is Opinion?".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is the North Korean dictator so evil?
Because he has no Seoul.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is North Korea so heartless?
because they have no seoul
ahahahah.. please laugh
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
North Korea now has a missile that can hit New York, which is a bit scary…
Because if it can make it there, it can make it anywhere…
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm concerned with the world news at the moment. Apparently, North Korea now has a missile that can hit New York,
and I was thinking.
"If it can make it there, it can make it anywhere".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
North Korea now has a missle that can reach New York City, and I think that's really scary.
If it can make it there, it can make it anywhere.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are North Korean weekends so lame?
Because theres only one party.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Many things used to be i**... in North Korea.
Now they're unlegal.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Navy ship hailed a civilian at sea...
**Navy**: We ask that you divert your course 15 degrees north, to avoid collision.
**Civilian**: Negative. Recommend that *you* divert 15 degrees north, to avoid collision.
**Navy**: This is the Captain of a U.S. Navy ship. I say again, divert your course.
**Civilian**: Negative. I say again, recommend you change course.
**Navy**: This is the aircraft carrier *Enterprise*! We are a large warship of the U.S. Navy! Divert your course *immediately*!
**Civilian**: This is a lighthouse. Your call.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The whole world should be worried that North Korea has a missile that can hit New York...
... because if it can make it there, it can make it anywhere.
Santa and Mrs. Claus have decided to break up
However, finding a divorce lawyer at the North Pole is next to impossible, so instead they got a semicolon.
They're great at separating independent Clauses.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call North Korean K-Pop?
p**... Style.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A guy walks into a r**... bar.
A guy walks into a r**... bar and orders a glass of wine. Everyone sitting around the bar looks up expecting to see some flamboyant Yankee. The bartender eyes him suspiciously and asks, "You ain't from around here, are you?"
"No sir," the guy says, "I'm from North Dakota."
"North Dakota?" the bartender asks. "What the h**... you do in North Dakota?"
"I'm a taxidermist," the guy replies.
"A taxidermist, what the h**... is that?" the bartender asks.
The guy says nervously, "Um, I mount dead animals."
The bartender smiles and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's okay fellas, he's one of us!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Kim Jong Un proudly tells his advisors: North Korea will be the first country to send people to the sun!
His advisors break out in applause. Meanwhile Donald Trump is watching this live on TV. He calls Kim Jong Un and asks him:
How are you going to send people to the sun? It's too hot!
Kim Jong Un replies by saying to his advisors:
What an idiot! We can send them at night!
His advisors break out in applause. On hearing this Donald Trump says to his advisors:
What an idiot!…
There is no sun at night!
As Northern Germans, we really struggle with the six feet distance mandate ...
Hopefully we can go back to our usual 10 feet distance after being vaccinated.
Kim Jong-Un walks into a school in North Korea.
He asks a student "Who is your father?
The student replies "The Supreme Leader, infinite in wisdom and kindness, provider and protector of the Koreans, he is our only father."
Kim Jong beams. "Excellent. Now tell me who is your mother?"
The student doesn't hesitate. "The Land of True Korea, outstanding in her beauty, international superpower, and redeemer of all civilisations, she is our only mother."
Kim Jong applauses. "What a diligent student you are. What do you want to be when you're older?"
The student replies "An orphan."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does Kanye West and North Korea have in common?
They both are getting s**... by Kim
North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they're brainwashed by their government and the media.
But I know that can't possibly be true. Because every American knows that America is the best country in the world.
