North Jokes

Following is our collection of gulf humor and alaska one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include North puns for adults, dirty republic jokes or clean pacific gags for kids.

There is an abundance of southern jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 84 funniest jokes on north. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any scandinavia witze you can hear about north.

The Best jokes about North

North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they're brainwashed by the government and the media.

When every American knows that America is the best country in the world.

What's the difference between North Korea and the US?

North Koreans can't tell if their leader is seriously dead. Americans can't tell if their leader is dead serious.

Why do North Koreans draw lines so well?

They have a Supreme Ruler.

What's the only drink size they allow in North Korea?

A supreme liter

Why do North Koreans draw the straightest lines?

Because they have a supreme ruler


I met a North African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.

We just clicked.

I asked my North Korean friend how it was there

He said he couldnt complain

Why is the North Korean dictator so evil?

Because he has no Seoul.

I asked my North Korean pen pal how it was like living in North Korea

"I can't complain" he wrote back.

Why is North Korea so heartless?

because they have no seoul

ahahahah.. please laugh

North Korea now has a missle that can reach New York City, and I think that's really scary.

If it can make it there, it can make it anywhere.


Why isn't there democracy in North Korea?

Because everytime they try to pronounce "election" everyone starts to giggle

The whole world should be worried that North Korea has a missile that can hit New York...

... because if it can make it there, it can make it anywhere.

Santa and Mrs. Claus have decided to break up

However, finding a divorce lawyer at the North Pole is next to impossible, so instead they got a semicolon.

They're great at separating independent Clauses.

There are no divorce courts at the North Pole,

so when Santa and his wife wanted to split up, they got a semicolon.

They're great for separating independent Clauses.

You guys know how the toothbrush was invented in the south?

Because if it was invented in the north, it would've been called a teethbrush.

What ethnicity is Santa?

North Poleish

North Korea bans sarcasm

What a great idea.

Kim Jong-Un has promised a new clear future for North Korea.

Oops! Spelt ***nuclear*** wrong.


I asked someone in North Korea how their day was going...

They replied, "Can't complain."

I ask my friend in North Korea how he likes it there

His exact words were... "I can't complain"

Must not be all that bad there.

BREAKING: North Korean leader in a vegetative state following surgery.

They've begun calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive

Many things used to be illegal in North Korea.

Now they're unlegal.

How do you stop a North Korean tank?

Shoot the soldier pushing it.

North Korea is participating in the olympics this year, but they won't win.

Because all of their athletes that can run jump or swim are in south korea

People in North Korea are so brainwashed by the government and controlled news thinking their country is great. Outsiders know better.

That is why I am glad to live in the greatest country in the world, America.

There's only one problem with North Korea's miracle cure for AIDS and Ebola:

The directions say the medication must be taken with food.

I'm concerned with the world news at the moment. Apparently, North Korea now has a missile that can hit New York,

and I was thinking.

"If it can make it there, it can make it anywhere".

Why did North Korea's missile fail?

It had projectile disfunction.

I asked my North Korean friend how it was to live in North Korea...

He says he can't complain.

Why are North Korean weekends so lame?

Because theres only one party.

How much of northern Canada is livable?

*Nunavut*

Why do North Koreans hate jazz music?

They don't have Seoul.

Why is North Korea so good at geometry?

Because they have a supreme ruler!

I want to visit north Korea one day...

before everything goes south.

What do you call North Korean K-Pop?

Propaganda Style.

North Korean submarine accidentally destroys another North Korean submarine

Woops, wrong sub

Why are North Korean Figure Skaters so good?

It's all about the Execution

There was once a starving homeless man near Pyongyang...

This joke has been removed.

Food and shelter are plentiful in North Korea.

To desire more is greed.

A weather report for you

I just got off the phone with a friend living in North Dakota near the Canadian Border. He said that since early this morning the snow has been coming down, it is nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.

Why is North Korea horrible?

Because they have no Seoul.

Why does the north Korean navy have glass bottom boats?

So they can see their air Force.

I live in North Korea and I'm ready to tell the world what it's really like!

[Edit]: The sun shines brightly on our smiles and future as our glorious leaders bring us joy with their mighty military.

What do all North Korean's say when you ask them how their day was?

"can't complain"

How does North Korea celebrate Christmas?

With missile tows

North Korea is handling Covid surprisingly well

Last week 9/10 doctors said Covid-19 was under control,



This week the stat went up to 9/9!

Why is North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un so ruthless?

He doesn't have a Seoul.

North Korea now has a missile that can hit New York, which is a bit scary…

Because if it can make it there, it can make it anywhere…

North Korea is calling for war.

In other news, it's Saturday.

A North-Korean officer pulls out a megaphone at the North and South Korean border and yells "Kim Jong-Un is an idiot!" and gets sent to 31 years in a labor camp.

1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and 30 years for revealing a state secret.

I asked my North Korean friend how he liked living there.

He said he can't complain.

Why is everyone in North Korea illiterate?

Because there can only be one Supreme Reader.

People keep asking me how I'm doing since moving to North Korea

Eh, can't complain.

Kim Jung Un responds to why he doesn't let people leave North Korea.

Kim Jung Un has said "The intent is to provide people with a sense of pride and accomplishment for escaping North Korea"

I was talking to a hot North African girl for hours.

We just clicked

A friend just returned from a visit to North Korea.

Me: How was the stay over there?

Friend: Can't complain.

Why is North Korea so accurate at measuring microscopic distances?

They have a supreme ruler

A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker ....

A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker are walking down the street.

A reporter comes up to them and says,
Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?

The Saudi says, excuse me , what is this word shortage?

The Russian says, excuse me, what's meat?

The North Korean says, excuse me, what's an opinion?

The New Yorker says, excuse me, what's excuse me?

A North Korean man frequently sneaks to the South Korean capital to gamble for bakery goods for his family.

He is the seoul breadwinner

What's a North Korean farmer's favorite time of year?

Breakfast.

Being a North Korean is tough and all but hey

At the end of the day, I can't complain.

Q: How's your visit in North Korea?

A: Can't complain ...

How do you clear a North Korean bingo hall?

B 52

North Korea reminds me of a redhead

Because they both have no Seoul

Donald Trump finally revealed his plans to defeat North Korea

He's buying it and turning it into a Trump brand business

So my friend lives in North Korea

And I asked him how it is there.
He replied "Well, I can't complain."

Why is North Korea so cruel?

Because it doesn't have a Seoul!

A North Korean soldier runs across the DMZ and yells to the US Army "Kim Jong Un is an idiot!" and gets thrown in a labor camp for 16 years by the government.

1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and the other 15 for revealing a state secret.

North Korea's leader has been suspiciously absent, arousing concerns from his followers who all wonder...

...Is Kim Jong ill?

An international conference was being held..

In which USA, North Korea, Europe and Africa were taking part.

The judge said,"I would like to hear your opinions about shortage of food in the rest of the world, if you have any questions, please feel free to ask us".

African president asked, "What is food?".

Europe asked, "What is Short?".

USA asked, "What is the rest of the world?".

North Korea asked, "What is Opinion?".

A North American arrives in the UK on vacation and needs directions.

Two plus size women with accents are walking by. The Foreigner says excuse me. Do you two gals happen to be from England . One of the women replies No idiot. Wales!!!!

The Foreigner is taken aback. I'm sorry, let me start over he says. Excuse me. Do you two whales happen to be from England?

Before candles, what did North Korean communists use to light their homes with?

Electricity.

I asked my North Korean friend how he was doing....

...and he responded, "I can't complain."

I was watching the Dyslexic news channel earlier.


Apparently North Korea are making unclear threats to the US.

What's the difference between Reddit and the north pole?

The north pole doesn't have as many snowflakes.

A guy walks into a redneck bar.

A guy walks into a redneck bar and orders a glass of wine. Everyone sitting around the bar looks up expecting to see some flamboyant Yankee. The bartender eyes him suspiciously and asks, "You ain't from around here, are you?"

"No sir," the guy says, "I'm from North Dakota."

"North Dakota?" the bartender asks. "What the hell you do in North Dakota?"

"I'm a taxidermist," the guy replies.

"A taxidermist, what the hell is that?" the bartender asks.

The guy says nervously, "Um, I mount dead animals."

The bartender smiles and shouts out to the whole bar, "It's okay fellas, he's one of us!"

I asked a North Korean how his life was going...

He said "can't complain."

Why is North Korea's literacy rate so high?

Because they have a supreme reader

So I met this guy from North Korea.

I asked him, "so how was life in North Korea?"

He replied "Can't complain."

Kim Jong Un proudly tells his advisors: North Korea will be the first country to send people to the sun!

His advisors break out in applause. Meanwhile Donald Trump is watching this live on TV. He calls Kim Jong Un and asks him:

How are you going to send people to the sun? It's too hot!

Kim Jong Un replies by saying to his advisors:

What an idiot! We can send them at night!

His advisors break out in applause. On hearing this Donald Trump says to his advisors:

What an idiot!…

There is no sun at night!

I don't get why people say that North Korea is bad

My friend lives there, and he can't complain about anything.

A Navy ship hailed a civilian at sea...

**Navy**: We ask that you divert your course 15 degrees north, to avoid collision.

**Civilian**: Negative. Recommend that *you* divert 15 degrees north, to avoid collision.

**Navy**: This is the Captain of a U.S. Navy ship. I say again, divert your course.

**Civilian**: Negative. I say again, recommend you change course.

**Navy**: This is the aircraft carrier *Enterprise*! We are a large warship of the U.S. Navy! Divert your course *immediately*!

**Civilian**: This is a lighthouse. Your call.

In North Korea, you cannot throw fruit in the snow...

Because they do not have the right to freeze peach.

A reporter from North Korea's state-owned media asks a farmer...

A reporter from a North Korea's state-owned media asks a farmer, "Would you give your mansion to the supreme leader if you had one?"

The farmer answers, "Yes, of course I would!"

"If you had one million dollar, would you give it to the supreme leader, too?"

"Yes, absolutely!"

"How about five cows, would you give them to the supreme leader?"

The farmer hesitates, then answers, "No..."

The reporter is confused, "you would give a mansion and one million dollar to the supreme leader, why would you not give only five cows? Is it because you think cows can't match the highness of the supreme leader?"

"Well, yes... and also I really do have five cows..."

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes