Uproarious North Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time
North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they're brainwashed by the government and the media.
When every American knows that America is the best country in the world.
Why do North Koreans draw lines so well?
They have a Supreme Ruler.
What's the only drink size they allow in North Korea?
A supreme liter
A weather report for you
I just got off the phone with a friend living in North Dakota near the Canadian Border. He said that since early this morning the snow has been coming down, it is nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.
So my friend lives in North Korea
And I asked him how it is there.
He replied "Well, I can't complain."
Why is North Korea so cruel?
Because it doesn't have a Seoul!
What do all North Korean's say when you ask them how their day was?
"can't complain"
You guys know how the toothbrush was invented in the south?
Because if it was invented in the north, it would've been called a teethbrush.
What ethnicity is Santa?
North Poleish
Why isn't there democracy in North Korea?
Because everytime they try to pronounce "election" everyone starts to giggle
A North Korean soldier runs across the DMZ and yells to the US Army "Kim Jong Un is an idiot!" and gets thrown in a labor camp for 16 years by the government.
1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and the other 15 for revealing a state secret.
You can explore north gulf reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean north republic dad jokes. There are also north puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I ask my friend in North Korea how he likes it there
His exact words were... "I can't complain"
Must not be all that bad there.
A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker ....
A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker are walking down the street.
A reporter comes up to them and says,
Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?
The Saudi says, excuse me , what is this word shortage?
The Russian says, excuse me, what's meat?
The North Korean says, excuse me, what's an opinion?
The New Yorker says, excuse me, what's excuse me?
There's only one problem with North Korea's miracle cure for AIDS and Ebola:
The directions say the medication must be taken with food.
A North-Korean officer pulls out a megaphone at the North and South Korean border and yells "Kim Jong-Un is an idiot!" and gets sent to 31 years in a labor camp.
1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and 30 years for revealing a state secret.
North Korea is calling for war.
In other news, it's Saturday.
North Korean submarine accidentally destroys another North Korean submarine
Woops, wrong sub
A North Korean man frequently sneaks to the South Korean capital to gamble for bakery goods for his family.
He is the seoul breadwinner
I want to visit north Korea one day...
before everything goes south.
Kim Jong-Un has promised a new clear future for North Korea.
Oops! Spelt ***nuclear*** wrong.
Why is North Korea horrible?
Because they have no Seoul.
What's a North Korean farmer's favorite time of year?
Breakfast.
How do you stop a North Korean tank?
Shoot the soldier pushing it.
How much of northern Canada is livable?
*Nunavut*
Q: How's your visit in North Korea?
A: Can't complain ...
There are no divorce courts at the North Pole,
so when Santa and his wife wanted to split up, they got a semicolon.
They're great for separating independent Clauses.
I asked my North Korean friend how it was to live in North Korea...
He says he can't complain.
There was once a starving homeless man near Pyongyang...
This joke has been removed.
Food and shelter are plentiful in North Korea.
To desire more is greed.
North Korea bans sarcasm
What a great idea.
North Korea reminds me of a redhead
Because they both have no Seoul
I was talking to a hot North African girl for hours.
We just clicked
Why is North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un so ruthless?
He doesn't have a Seoul.
People keep asking me how I'm doing since moving to North Korea
Eh, can't complain.
Why is the North Korean dictator so evil?
Because he has no Seoul.
I asked my North Korean pen pal how it was like living in North Korea
"I can't complain" he wrote back.
Why did North Korea's missile fail?
It had projectile disfunction.
Why is North Korea so heartless?
because they have no seoul
ahahahah.. please laugh
Being a North Korean is tough and all but hey
At the end of the day, I can't complain.
A friend just returned from a visit to North Korea.
Me: How was the stay over there?
Friend: Can't complain.
I asked someone in North Korea how their day was going...
They replied, "Can't complain."
North Korea now has a missile that can hit New York, which is a bit scary…
Because if it can make it there, it can make it anywhere…
Donald Trump finally revealed his plans to defeat North Korea
He's buying it and turning it into a Trump brand business
How do you clear a North Korean bingo hall?
B 52
I live in North Korea and I'm ready to tell the world what it's really like!
[Edit]: The sun shines brightly on our smiles and future as our glorious leaders bring us joy with their mighty military.
I'm concerned with the world news at the moment. Apparently, North Korea now has a missile that can hit New York,
and I was thinking.
"If it can make it there, it can make it anywhere".
North Korea now has a missle that can reach New York City, and I think that's really scary.
If it can make it there, it can make it anywhere.
Why are North Korean weekends so lame?
Because theres only one party.
Many things used to be i**... in North Korea.
Now they're unlegal.
I asked my North Korean friend how it was there
He said he couldnt complain
Why does the north Korean navy have glass bottom boats?
So they can see their air Force.
Kim Jung Un responds to why he doesn't let people leave North Korea.
Kim Jung Un has said "The intent is to provide people with a sense of pride and accomplishment for escaping North Korea"
The whole world should be worried that North Korea has a missile that can hit New York...
... because if it can make it there, it can make it anywhere.
How does North Korea celebrate Christmas?
With missile tows
Santa and Mrs. Claus have decided to break up
However, finding a divorce lawyer at the North Pole is next to impossible, so instead they got a semicolon.
They're great at separating independent Clauses.
North Korea is participating in the olympics this year, but they won't win.
Because all of their athletes that can run jump or swim are in south korea
I met a North African girl the other night, we spoke for hours.
We just clicked.
What do you call North Korean K-Pop?
p**... Style.
Why are North Korean Figure Skaters so good?
It's all about the Execution
Why is North Korea so accurate at measuring microscopic distances?
They have a supreme ruler
Why is everyone in North Korea illiterate?
Because there can only be one Supreme Reader.
North Korea's leader has been suspiciously absent, arousing concerns from his followers who all wonder...
...Is Kim Jong ill?
BREAKING: North Korean leader in a vegetative state following surgery.
They've begun calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive
What's the difference between North Korea and the US?
North Koreans can't tell if their leader is seriously dead. Americans can't tell if their leader is dead serious.
Why do North Koreans draw the straightest lines?
Because they have a supreme ruler
Why do North Koreans hate jazz music?
They don't have Seoul.
Why is North Korea so good at geometry?
Because they have a supreme ruler!
North Korea is handling Covid surprisingly well
Last week 9/10 doctors said Covid-19 was under control,
This week the stat went up to 9/9!
I asked my North Korean friend how he liked living there.
He said he can't complain.
People in North Korea are so brainwashed by the government and controlled news thinking their country is great. Outsiders know better.
That is why I am glad to live in the greatest country in the world, America.
Santa Claus will be allowed to go out and deliver presents without speading Covid-19
He has spent the last year in the North Pole in Ice-olation
Why are lines in North Korea so straight?
Because they have a supreme ruler
A South Korean asks a North Korean How's life?
The North Korean responds Well, I can't complain.
How did Kim Kardashian tell her kid about her upcoming divorce with Kanye?
North, things between West and I have gone South.
Kim Jong-Un walks into a school in North Korea.
He asks a student "Who is your father?
The student replies "The Supreme Leader, infinite in wisdom and kindness, provider and protector of the Koreans, he is our only father."
Kim Jong beams. "Excellent. Now tell me who is your mother?"
The student doesn't hesitate. "The Land of True Korea, outstanding in her beauty, international superpower, and redeemer of all civilisations, she is our only mother."
Kim Jong applauses. "What a diligent student you are. What do you want to be when you're older?"
The student replies "An orphan."
Why can chess Bishops only more diagonally?
Because north, south, east and west are Cardinal directions.
North Korean citizens believe they live in the best country in the world because the government and the media brainwash them.
When every American citizen knows that America is the best country in the world.
Did you hear about the pole vault champion of North Korea?
He's now the pole vault champion of South Korea.
I asked my North Korean friend how things were over there.
He said he couldn't complain.
I asked my friend how he likes living in North Korea.
He said he couldn't complain.
Did you see that gymnast from North Korea in the Olympics?
She didn't win gold but her execution was flawless.
Kim and Kanye's divorce is rough on their son, North West.
It's like he's getting pulled in two different directions.
North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they're brainwashed by their government and the media.
But I know that can't possibly be true. Because every American knows that America is the best country in the world.
In the northern hemisphere, small dogs chase their tails clockwise, but in the southern hemisphere, they chase them counter-clockwise.
This is due to the corgiolis effect.
Scientists have discovered a new type of polar bear. It can live in both the North and South poles, is prone to extreme mood swings and has shown interest in other bears of both genders.
It's a bi-polar bipolar bi polar bear
An old man is on his death bed and calls all his family and the priest.
He says to his first son "I want you to have all the property in the north of the town, I have 16 houses there."
He says to his second son "I want you to have all my commercial property, 8 businesses."
He says to his third son "I want you to have the houses in the southern district, there are only 4, but they are expensive and lucrative."
The old man passes away and the priest says "That is unbelievable, he must have been incredibly wealthy?"
The old man's widow laughs and says "He was a Window Cleaner"
What's the only type of pizza you can order in North Korea?
The Supreme Pizza
Did you know Santa was born in Gdansk?
He's North Polish
People in North Korea are so brainwashed by the government and the state controlled national news thinking their country is great. Outsiders know better.
That is why I am glad to live in the greatest country in the world, The United States of America.
My friend moved to North Korea and I asked him how it was
He said he couldn't complain
Mommy, what is a Canadian?
It's an unarmed North American with health insurance, sweetie.
Two old men are riding on a train in north London, when it stops at a station.
First Old Man: Is this Wembley?
Second Old Man: No, it's Thursday.
First Old Man: So am I. Let's go get a beer!
Did you hear what happened to the top pole-valter in North Korea?
He became the top pole-valter in South Korea.
Brown Pants
During the French and Indian Wars in North America, the French captured a British Officer during an engagement. Later that evening the French officers gathered and dined with the new captive.
After dinner the French commander asked their prisoner Sir, we have been wondering why British officers wear a red coat, as it makes you an obvious target for our sharpshooters . The British officer replied We wear it so that if we are wounded, the sight of our blood does not panic our men .
Ever since that day, French Officers have worn brown pants.
