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North Jokes

158 north jokes and hilarious north puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about north that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

If you're looking for a laugh, check out our collection of classic North jokes! We've got jokes about Palmerston North, North Dakota, North Carolina, North Korea, the North Pole, compasses, the Eastern and Gulf Coasts, and more. Get ready to giggle!

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Funniest North Short Jokes

Short north jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The north humour may include short south jokes also.

  1. North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they're brainwashed by the government and the media. When every American knows that America is the best country in the world.
  2. What's the difference between North Korea and the US? North Koreans can't tell if their leader is seriously dead. Americans can't tell if their leader is dead serious.
  3. How did kim kardashian tell her kid about her upcoming divorce with Kanye? North, things between West and I have gone South.
  4. Kim and Kanye's divorce is rough on their son, North West. It's like he's getting pulled in two different directions.
  5. I asked my North Korean pen pal how it was like living in North Korea "I can't complain" he wrote back.
  6. North Korea now has a missle that can reach New York City, and I think that's really scary. If it can make it there, it can make it anywhere.
  7. Why isn't there democracy in North Korea? Because everytime they try to pronounce "election" everyone starts to giggle
  8. The whole world should be worried that North Korea has a missile that can hit New York... ... because if it can make it there, it can make it anywhere.
  9. There are no divorce courts at the North Pole, so when santa and his wife wanted to split up, they got a semicolon.
    They're great for separating independent Clauses.
  10. You guys know how the toothbrush was invented in the south? Because if it was invented in the north, it would've been called a teethbrush.

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North One Liners

Which north one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with north? I can suggest the ones about east and west.

  1. Why do North Koreans draw line so well? They have a Supreme Ruler.
  2. What's the only drink size they allow in North Korea? A supreme liter
  3. Why do North Koreans draw the straightest lines? Because they have a supreme ruler
  4. I met a North African girl the other night, we spoke for hours. We just clicked.
  5. I asked my North Korean friend how it was there He said he couldnt complain
  6. Why is the North Korean dictator so evil? Because he has no Seoul.
  7. Why is North Korea so heartless? because they have no seoul
    ahahahah.. please laugh
  8. Mommy, what is a Canadian? It's an unarmed North American with health insurance, sweetie.
  9. What ethnicity is Santa? North Poleish
  10. North Korea bans sarcasm What a great idea.
  11. I asked someone in North Korea how their day was going... They replied, "Can't complain."
  12. How do you stop a North Korean tank? Shoot the soldier pushing it.
  13. Why did North Korea's missile fail? It had projectile disfunction.
  14. Why are North Korean weekends so lame? Because theres only one party.
  15. I asked my North Korean friend how things were over there. He said he couldn't complain.

North Korea Jokes

Here is a list of funny north korea jokes and even better north korea puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I ask my friend in North Korea how he likes it there His exact words were... "I can't complain"
    Must not be all that bad there.
  • North Korea is participating in the olympics this year, but they won't win. Because all of their athletes that can run jump or swim are in south korea
  • There's only one problem with North Korea's miracle cure for AIDS and Ebola: The directions say the medication must be taken with food.
  • I'm concerned with the world news at the moment. Apparently, North Korea now has a missile that can hit New York, and I was thinking.
    "If it can make it there, it can make it anywhere".
  • Did you see that gymnast from North Korea in the Olympics? She didn't win gold but her execution was flawless.
  • I asked my North Korean friend how it was to live in North Korea... He says he can't complain.
  • Did you hear about the pole vault champion of North Korea? He's now the pole vault champion of South Korea.
  • Why is North Korea so good at geometry? Because they have a supreme ruler!
  • I want to visit north Korea one day... before everything goes south.
  • There was once a starving homeless man near Pyongyang... This joke has been removed.
    Food and shelter are plentiful in North Korea.
    To desire more is greed.

North Korean Jokes

Here is a list of funny north korean jokes and even better north korean puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • BREAKING: North Korean leader in a vegetative state following surgery. They've begun calling him Kim Jong Un-Responsive
  • Why do North Koreans hate jazz music? They don't have Seoul.
  • North Korean submarine accidentally destroys another North Korean submarine Woops, wrong sub
  • Why are North Korean Figure Skaters so good? It's all about the Execution
  • Why does the north Korean navy have glass bottom boats? So they can see their air Force.
  • What do all North Korean's say when you ask them how their day was? "can't complain"
  • Why is North Korean dictator Kim Jong-Un so ruthless? He doesn't have a Seoul.
  • I asked my North Korean friend how he liked living there. He said he can't complain.
  • A South Korean asks a North Korean How's life? The North Korean responds Well, I can't complain.
  • A North Korean man frequently sneaks to the South Korean capital to gamble for bakery goods for his family. He is the seoul breadwinner
North joke, A North Korean man frequently sneaks to the South Korean capital to gamble for bakery goods for his

North South Jokes

Here is a list of funny north south jokes and even better north south puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why can chess Bishops only more diagonally? Because north, south, east and west are Cardinal directions.
  • Why did North Korea fight South Korea? Because North Korea has no Seoul
  • I once took a holiday to the North Pole It was great while I was there but after that my holiday just went south.
  • Why are South Koreans better dancers than North Koreans? They've got Seoul.
  • I'll be so demoralised if North Korea decides to invade South Korea... It'd be Seoul destroying
  • North Korea has finished nuking the South, and there was one man left alive. He was the Seoul survivor.
  • What do North Koreans lack that South Koreans do not? North Koreans have no Seoul.
  • North Korea has declared a 'cultural war' on K-pop coming in from the South. They decided the best way to counter this would be to creat their own genre of music. They have named it K-Boom.
  • Why did the North Korean defect to South Korea? He did some seoul searching.
  • On my first trip to the North Pole I realised... ... it's all going south from here.

North Pole Jokes

Here is a list of funny north pole jokes and even better north pole puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Santa Claus will be allowed to go out and deliver presents without speading Covid-19 He has spent the last year in the North Pole in Ice-olation
  • What's the difference between Reddit and the north pole? The north pole doesn't have as many snowflakes.
  • Why doesn't Santa have any millennial elves? Because there are already enough snowflakes at the North Pole.
  • Did you hear about the dyslexic guy that sold his soul to Satan? He is now forced to make presents in the North Pole for all eternity.
  • How are they killing Covid in the North Pole? Santa-tizing
  • How to get out of buying your kids Christmas presents Explain to them that due to Global Warming that the North Pole melted and that Santa and the Reindeer drowned.
  • What do you call a workplace accident at the North Pole? Shelf on the elf.
  • What do you call a chicken at the north pole? Lost.
  • Almost everyone at the North Pole becomes extremely anxious whenever Santa feels depressed That's when he's most likely to elf harm.
  • Why is the North Pole always so wet? Because of rain, dear.

Up North Jokes

Here is a list of funny up north jokes and even better up north puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Make fun of Kim Kardashians baby name choice for 'North West' if you want... But that child is going straight to the top...
    And slightly to the left...
  • Why is North Korea horrible? Because they have no Seoul.
  • I live in North Korea and I'm ready to tell the world what it's really like! [Edit]: The sun shines brightly on our smiles and future as our glorious leaders bring us joy with their mighty military.
  • How does North Korea celebrate Christmas? With missile tows
  • North Korea is handling Covid surprisingly well Last week 9/10 doctors said Covid-19 was under control,

    This week the stat went up to 9/9!
  • North Korea now has a missile that can hit New York, which is a bit scary… Because if it can make it there, it can make it anywhere…
  • North Korea is calling for war. In other news, it's Saturday.
  • Why is everyone in North Korea illiterate? Because there can only be one Supreme Reader.
  • People keep asking me how I'm doing since moving to North Korea Eh, can't complain.
  • Kim Jung Un responds to why he doesn't let people leave North Korea. Kim Jung Un has said "The intent is to provide people with a sense of pride and accomplishment for escaping North Korea"
North joke, Kim Jung Un responds to why he doesn't let people leave North Korea.

Uproarious North Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

What funny jokes about north you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean central jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make north pranks.

A weather report for you

I just got off the phone with a friend living in North Dakota near the Canadian Border. He said that since early this morning the snow has been coming down, it is nearly waist high and is still falling. The temperature is dropping way below zero and the north wind is increasing to near gale force. His wife has done nothing but look through the kitchen window and just stare. He says that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.

So my friend lives in North Korea

And I asked him how it is there.
He replied "Well, I can't complain."

Why is North Korea so cruel?

Because it doesn't have a Seoul!

A North Korean soldier runs across the DMZ and yells to the US Army "Kim Jong Un is an idiot!" and gets thrown in a labor camp for 16 years by the government.

1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and the other 15 for revealing a state secret.

A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker ....

A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker are walking down the street.
A reporter comes up to them and says,
Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?
The Saudi says, excuse me , what is this word shortage?
The Russian says, excuse me, what's meat?
The North Korean says, excuse me, what's an opinion?
The New Yorker says, excuse me, what's excuse me?

A North-Korean officer pulls out a megaphone at the North and South Korean border and yells "Kim Jong-Un is an idiot!" and gets sent to 31 years in a labor camp.

1 year for insulting the Dear Leader and 30 years for revealing a state secret.

Kim Jong-Un has promised a new clear future for North Korea.

Oops! Spelt ***nuclear*** wrong.

What's a North Korean farmer's favorite time of year?

Breakfast.

How much of northern Canada is livable?

*Nunavut*

Q: How's your visit in North Korea?

A: Can't complain ...

North Korea reminds me of a redhead

Because they both have no Seoul

I was talking to a hot North African girl for hours.

We just clicked

Being a North Korean is tough and all but hey

At the end of the day, I can't complain.

A friend just returned from a visit to North Korea.

Me: How was the stay over there?
Friend: Can't complain.

Donald Trump finally revealed his plans to defeat North Korea

He's buying it and turning it into a Trump brand business

How do you clear a North Korean bingo hall?

B 52

Many things used to be i**... in North Korea.

Now they're unlegal.

Santa and Mrs. Claus have decided to break up

However, finding a divorce lawyer at the North Pole is next to impossible, so instead they got a semicolon.
They're great at separating independent Clauses.

What do you call North Korean K-Pop?

p**... Style.

Why is North Korea so accurate at measuring microscopic distances?

They have a supreme ruler

North Korea's leader has been suspiciously absent, arousing concerns from his followers who all wonder...

...Is Kim Jong ill?

People in North Korea are so brainwashed by the government and controlled news thinking their country is great. Outsiders know better.

That is why I am glad to live in the greatest country in the world, America.

Why are lines in North Korea so straight?

Because they have a supreme ruler

Kim Jong-Un walks into a school in North Korea.

He asks a student "Who is your father?
The student replies "The Supreme Leader, infinite in wisdom and kindness, provider and protector of the Koreans, he is our only father."
Kim Jong beams. "Excellent. Now tell me who is your mother?"
The student doesn't hesitate. "The Land of True Korea, outstanding in her beauty, international superpower, and redeemer of all civilisations, she is our only mother."
Kim Jong applauses. "What a diligent student you are. What do you want to be when you're older?"
The student replies "An orphan."

North Korean citizens believe they live in the best country in the world because the government and the media brainwash them.

When every American citizen knows that America is the best country in the world.

I asked my friend how he likes living in North Korea.

He said he couldn't complain.

North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they're brainwashed by their government and the media.

But I know that can't possibly be true. Because every American knows that America is the best country in the world.

North joke, North Koreans believe they live in the best country in the world because they're brainwashed by thei

jokes about north