Hilarious Fun Norris Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
Chuck Norris is a wimp...
If he were really as badass as they say he is, he would walk in here right now and start slamming my face into the keybdilfvbasjklkjcbnacnbzcjkbs; fsidfbaa3048fhsdk;ufb fba'aspfj4hn4
Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number.
You pick up the wrong phone.
What is your favorite Chuck Norris joke?
My Favorite,
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris jokes
When Chuck Norris' code throws exceptions, it's across the room.
Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin.
Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. And then the grenade exploded.
When Chuck Norris goes into a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
Feel free to add more. Shamelessly stolen from the internet.
Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room
The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move.
Chuck Norris joke, cause it's been a while
Chuck Norris pull the pin in a grenade, threw it, killed 50 men, and then the grenade exploded.
Chuck Norris got stabbed
The knife bled to death
Chuck Norris joke cause it's been a long time.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris has died.
He has since recovered from this mild inconvenience.
Superman once arm wrestled Chuck Norris
Loser had to wear their underwear outside their pants.
Chuck Norris threw a hand grenade and killed 50 people
Then the grenade exploded.
You can explore norris roundhouse reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean norris poachers dad jokes. There are also norris puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Chuck Norris once took a lie detector test
The machine confessed everythingο»Ώ
Chuck Norris went to Mcdonalds
and the ice cream machine was working.
Chuck Norris got bitten by a King Cobra
And after 5 agonizing days of pain.
The cobra died
How many Push-Ups can Chuck Norris do?
All of them
Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him
So he tracked down nothing and killed it
I don't believe Chuck Norris is that great
Cuz if he was, he would show up right now, and slam my head all over my keasdhjaiosdcnhq09w8hjkoldq0i9 wdhj09qw daU9 10Q9WDJ09W3Q21JD QWD
Chuck Norris actually died 6 years ago.
...But the Grim Reaper still hasn't gotten up the courage to tell him.
Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today...
And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.
Β
Β
Β
Β
Chuck Norris visited the v**... Islands.
Now they're just the Islands.
TIL: Chuck Norris died earlier this month
But the Grim Reaper hasn't worked up the courage to tell him yet.
There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris in my hometown....
...but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
What did Chuck Norris tell his father when he left for college?
You're the man of the house now
Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn
He sits on his porch and dares it to grow.
Chuck Norris was shot today
The bullet is in critical condition
Once Chuck Norris threw a knife in Call of Duty
And killed someone in Battlefield
Just found out Chuck Norris had a cameo in Star Wars...
he played The Force
Chuck Norris was abducted by aliens.
The aliens were never seen again.
It's a little known fact that chuck Norris was dropped twice as a child
Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki
Chuck Norris was dropped twice as a baby.
We know them today as Nagasaki and Hiroshima.
Chuck Norris tested positive for COVID-19.
The virus is now in quarantine for two weeks.
What's the one office supply you never want to ask Chuck Norris to give you?
The Three-Hole Punch...
Chuck Norris diagnosed with Covid-19
Coronavirus now in quarantine for 14 days
Chuck Norris has a bear rug
No it's not dead it's just too scared to move
Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday
The virus is quarantined for two weeks
Chuck Norris caught COVID.
But then he felt bad, so he let it go.
Chuck Norris Joke
A priest, Jesus and Chuck Norris are on a sinking boat. Jesus starts to walk back to land. Chuck Norris does the same. The priest says "Lord, please let me walk on water", tries to walk but drowns. When Jesus and Chuck Norris got on land Jesus asked him "Shouldn't we have told him where the stones are"? And Chuck answered "Which stones"
Why doesn't Chuck Norris tell jokes?
His punch lines are deadly.
Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are sitting in a restaurant, and Sylvester Stallone is like: "Guys, we should make a movie with the three of us, but I'm all out of ideas at the moment, I'm kind of bored with the standard action flicks."
Chuck says: "Don't you have any ideas?"
"Yeah, this may sound silly, but I was actually thinking about doing a movie on great classical composers"
That's when Arnold trows himself in the conversation and says: "That sounds like a great idea! Sylvester, you can be Mozart, and Chuck can be Beethoven!"
"And who will you be, Arnold?"
"I'll be Bach."
When Chuck Norris updates Windows
...Microsoft accepts his terms and conditions
What is your favorite Chuck Norris joke?
**Chuck Norris is so tough he counted to infinity. Twice.**
Why are there no bridges named after Chuck Norris?
Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris walked into a feminist convention
Walked out with a sandwich and his shirt ironed.
They were going to name a street after Chuck Norrisβ¦
Then they realized nobody can cross Chuck Norris and live.
Chuck Norris has f**... only once in his life.
It was during a vacation to the Sahara forest.
Did you hear about the fight between Chuck Norris and Superman?
The loser had to wear their underwear on the outside
Chuck Norris actually died four years ago
Death just hasn't worked up the courage to tell him yet.
What's the best Chuck Norris joke you've ever heard?
My personal favorite is: Chuck Norris was once bitten by a cobra snake. After 3 long days of suffering, the snake died
Once, Chuck Norris reached a point of no returnβ¦.
β¦..and returned.
What is your best Chuck Norris joke(I'll start)
Chuck Norris doesn't pay attention, attention pays Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 men.
It exploded and killed 20 more. Then he threw the pin and killed 10 more men.
What's your favourite Chuck Norris joke?
Let's start with one of my favs:
"Chuck Norris' password is the last 9 digits of pi."
Chuck Norris had cancer
The cancer died from Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris caught COVID-19 and the prognosis is not good.
Anyone wanting to say goodbye to the virus should visit the hospital tonight.
(Cr
Chuck Norris once skydived and the parachute failed to open while mid-air
The next day, he demanded a refund.
If Chuck Norris hadn't existed...
Chuck Norris would have invented him.
Chuck Norris jokes never die..
Like Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed twenty people.
Then it exploded.
Chuck Norris killed 5 people with a sword
Then 20 more without the sheath
Chuck Norris got ambushed by terrorists with a $5,000,000 ransom
If the money wasn't paid within 24 hours, the terrorists would be beheaded
What did Chuck Norris do when his parachute failed to open?
Brought it back for a refund.
There was a street in my town named after Chuck Norris but the council had to rename it.
Nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives
When Chuck Norris was bornβ¦
The doctor said Congratulations! You have two healthy parents.
Chuck Norris didn't dial the wrong number
You answered the wrong phone
Chuck Norris can recite the entirety of pi.
Backwards.
We really need to stop with all the Chuck Norris jokes!!!
Do you want him to find out you're laughing at him?
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table...
Because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.
Chuck Norris had a nightmare
The nightmare ran into its moms room crying
Chuck Norris's password is the last 9 digits of pi.
Chuck Norris can divide by 0.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice
Chuck Norris can cross a vector with a scalar
Chuck Norris is so tough he can draw a circle with exactly 100 degrees.
Chuck Norris is so badass he can find value of a variable in an expansion without factoring the coefficient within the expansion.
Chuck Norris is so tough he can draw an isosceles triangle with four perfectly identical vertices
Chuck Norris is so tough he can simplify an improper fraction without first dividing the denominator and using it to multiple the numerator.
Chuck Norris hit the longest home run in MLB history
He also caught that ball
What is the difference between Chuck Norris and John Wick?
Chuck Norris gets his revenge before you even think about killing his dog.
I don't understand why everyone says Chuck Norris is awesome.
Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone at my front door.
Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris doesn't wear shoes to protect his feet from the ground...
β
He wears them to protect the ground from his feet
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin
And giraffes were born
Chuck Norris killed 50 enemy combatants with a grenade
Then the grenade exploded.
Chuck Norris killed 100 men with just one bullet
There was no gun
Chuck Norris called 911
And asked if they needed help.
I'm fed up with all these Chuck Norris jokes on this Sub!
If he's such a tough badass, I dare him to come over here and smash my face against my keybhrbhdbvdggdvrvvhdhdbsbhdhebb
Dinosaurs once looked down on Chuck Norris.
Just once.
Chuck Norris chopped an onion
The onion cried.
One day, Chuck Norris was hit by a car
He then rushed the car to the nearest garage and paid for it's repair.
Chuck Norris can trisect an angle...
...With only a straight edge and a compass
Chuck Norris killed 50 enemies with a hand grenade.
Then the grenade exploded.
