Norris Jokes

Funniest Norris Short Jokes

Short norris jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The norris humour may include short poachers jokes also.

1. Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today... And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.
    
    
    
    
2. Chuck Norris coronavirus joke Chuck Norris doesn't get Corona Virus.
   Coronavirus gets Chuck Norris.
3. What's the best Chuck Norris joke you've ever heard? My personal favorite is: chuck norris was once bitten by a cobra snake. After 3 long days of suffering, the snake died
4. Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 men. It exploded and killed 20 more. Then he threw the pin and killed 10 more men.
5. Chuck Norris caught COVID-19 and the prognosis is not good. Anyone wanting to say goodbye to the virus should visit the hospital tonight.
   (Cr
6. Chuck Norris Chuck Norris doesn't wear shoe to protect his feet from the ground...
   ​
   He wears them to protect the ground from his feet
7. Chuck Norris actually died four years ago Death just hasn't worked up the courage to tell him yet.
8. What's your favourite Chuck Norris joke? Let's start with one of my favs:
   "Chuck Norris' password is the last 9 digits of pi."
9. What did Chuck Norris tell his father when he left for college? You're the man of the house now
10. Chuck Norris joke, cause it's been a while Chuck Norris pull the pin in a grenade, threw it, killed 50 men, and then the grenade exploded.

Share These Norris Jokes With Friends

Norris One Liners

Which norris one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with norris? I can suggest the ones about chuck norris beard and constellation.

1. What did Chuck Norris do when his parachute failed to open? Brought it back for a refund.
2. Once, Chuck Norris reached a point of no return…. …..and returned.
3. Chuck Norris killed 50 enemy combatants with a grenade Then the grenade exploded.
4. Chuck Norris called 911 And asked if they needed help.
5. Chuck Norris threw a hand grenade and killed 50 people Then the grenade exploded.
6. Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed twenty people. Then it exploded.
7. Chuck Norris was shot today The bullet is in critical condition
8. Chuck Norris killed 5 people with a sword Then 20 more without the sheath
9. Just found out Chuck Norris had a cameo in Star Wars... he played The Force
10. If Chuck Norris hadn't existed... Chuck Norris would have invented him.
11. Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday The virus is quarantined for two weeks
12. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin And giraffes were born
13. Chuck Norris had a nightmare The nightmare ran into its moms room crying
14. When Chuck Norris updates Windows ...Microsoft accepts his terms and conditions
15. Chuck Norris's Daughter Lost her Virginity... He got it back.

Chuck Norris Jokes

Here is a list of funny chuck norris jokes and even better chuck norris puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• They were going to name a street after Chuck Norris… Then they realized nobody can cross Chuck Norris and live.
• Chuck Norris got ambushed by terrorists with a $5,000,000 ransom If the money wasn't paid within 24 hours, the terrorists would be beheaded
• It's a little known fact that chuck Norris was dropped twice as a child Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki
• Superman once arm wrestled Chuck Norris loser had to wear their underwear outside their pants.
• Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move.
• What is the difference between Chuck Norris and John Wick? Chuck Norris gets his revenge before you even think about killing his dog.
• Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him So he tracked down nothing and killed it
• Chuck Norris actually died 6 years ago. ...But the Grim Reaper still hasn't gotten up the courage to tell him.
• Chuck Norris once took a lie detector test The machine confessed everything
• Chuck Norris can recite the entirety of pi. Backwards.

Chuck Norris Roundhouse Jokes

Here is a list of funny chuck norris roundhouse jokes and even better chuck norris roundhouse puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Chuck Norris has proven Newton's third law of physics, there is no force equal to a Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
• Chuck Norris once roundhouse kick the ocean. That's why we have tides now.
• Chuck Norris doesn't need a theme song because, you won't hear anything once your roundhouse kicked in the face.
• What kind of house does Chuck Norris live in? A roundhouse.
• Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks don't really kill people.
  They wipe out their entire existence from the space-time continuum.
• Chuck Norris doesn't run out of patience, patience runs out of him from fear of a roundhouse kick to the face.
• Chuck Norris got a new pair of shoes Roundhouse kicks
• People say that time heals all wounds.
  They obviously never got roundhouse kicked by Chuck Norris
• With just two toothpicks, a lightbulb, and his RoundHouse Kick, Chuck Norris can override the Pentagon's computer system.
• Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.

Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick Jokes

Here is a list of funny chuck norris roundhouse kick jokes and even better chuck norris roundhouse kick puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• The saying "Kill two birds with one stone" actually came from when chuck Norris downed two Peregrin Falcons with one roundhouse kick.
• The creation of a perfect sphere became possible after Chuck Norris became enraged with a rubix cube and roundhouse kicked the corners off it.
• Obama's health care plan won't cover injuries caused by a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face.
  Nobody would survive anyway.
• If Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks you, even Google won't be able to find you.
• Chuck Norris originally wrote the first dictionary.
  The definition of each word is as follows - A swift roundhouse kick to the face.
• It is better to give than to receive.
  This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
• My Prediction for the Mayweather Mcgregor fight.
  It becomes a Handicap Match against Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris ends it with a single roundhouse kick before the bell stops ringing.
• It takes a master to shoot a fly from a hundred Paces, but it takes a Chuck Norris to roundhouse-kick one from a thousand.
• He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword.
  He who lives by Chuck Norris, dies by the roundhouse kick.
• When Chuck Norris was a kid he saw a fat chick, he roundhouse kicked her so hard she transformed.
  She is now known as Britney Spears.

Chuck Norris Beard Jokes

Here is a list of funny chuck norris beard jokes and even better chuck norris beard puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Chuck Norris They wanted to add Chuck Norris' face to Mount Rushmore, but the granite is not hard enough for his beard.
• There were plans to have Chuck Norris's face on Mt. Rushmore Unfortunately, the plans had to be scrapped because the granite was too soft to make his beard.
• A bulletproof jacket is an imitation of Chuck Norris' beard.
• Why does Chuck Norris have a beard?
  A better question is what will he do to you if you ask him?
• Each hair on Chuck Norris' beard holds the soul of a victim.
• Chuck Norris' beard can shave a razor.
• Chuck Norris' beard has it's own Social Security number.
• Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police.
  They are used as bullet proof vests.
• They wanted to add Chuck Norris's face to Mount Rushmore, but the granite is not hard enough for his beard.
• Chuck Norris' beard can etch a sketch a picture of chuck killing a man.
  When the last line is drawn, that man dies!

Norris Nuts Jokes

Here is a list of funny norris nuts jokes and even better norris nuts puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Freds voice is high because Chuck Norris kicked him in the nuts.

Hilarious Fun Norris Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

What funny jokes about norris you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean meteor jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make norris pranks.