Norris Jokes

Read the funniest Norris jokes out there and have a good laugh! Enjoy quips about Norris's famous uppercut, roundhouse kick and the Stoat. Learn more about the Norris Nuts and why Chuck Norris is such a legend.

Hilarious Fun Norris Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

Chuck Norris is a wimp...

If he were really as badass as they say he is, he would walk in here right now and start slamming my face into the keybdilfvbasjklkjcbnacnbzcjkbs; fsidfbaa3048fhsdk;ufb fba'aspfj4hn4

Chuck Norris doesn't dial the wrong number.

You pick up the wrong phone.

What is your favorite Chuck Norris joke?

My Favorite,
When Alexander Graham Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris jokes

When Chuck Norris' code throws exceptions, it's across the room.

Chuck Norris' keyboard doesn't have a Ctrl key, because nothing controls Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can delete the recycling bin.

Chuck Norris threw a grenade and killed 50 people. And then the grenade exploded.

When Chuck Norris goes into a room, he doesn't turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

Feel free to add more. Shamelessly stolen from the internet.

jokes about norris

Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room

The bear isn't dead it is just afraid to move.

Chuck Norris joke, cause it's been a while

Chuck Norris pull the pin in a grenade, threw it, killed 50 men, and then the grenade exploded.

Chuck Norris got stabbed

The knife bled to death

Norris joke, Chuck Norris got stabbed

Chuck Norris joke cause it's been a long time.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris has died.

He has since recovered from this mild inconvenience.

Superman once arm wrestled Chuck Norris

Loser had to wear their underwear outside their pants.

Chuck Norris threw a hand grenade and killed 50 people

Then the grenade exploded.

You can explore norris roundhouse reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean norris poachers dad jokes. There are also norris puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Chuck Norris once took a lie detector test

The machine confessed everythingο»Ώ

Chuck Norris went to Mcdonalds

and the ice cream machine was working.

Chuck Norris got bitten by a King Cobra

And after 5 agonizing days of pain.

The cobra died

How many Push-Ups can Chuck Norris do?

All of them

Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him

So he tracked down nothing and killed it

Norris joke, Chuck Norris once heard that nothing can kill him

I don't believe Chuck Norris is that great

Cuz if he was, he would show up right now, and slam my head all over my keasdhjaiosdcnhq09w8hjkoldq0i9 wdhj09qw daU9 10Q9WDJ09W3Q21JD QWD

Chuck Norris actually died 6 years ago.

...But the Grim Reaper still hasn't gotten up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris looked directly at the sun today...

And the sun got so scared it hid behind the moon.


Chuck Norris visited the v**... Islands.

Now they're just the Islands.

TIL: Chuck Norris died earlier this month

But the Grim Reaper hasn't worked up the courage to tell him yet.

There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris in my hometown....

...but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.

What did Chuck Norris tell his father when he left for college?

You're the man of the house now

Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn

He sits on his porch and dares it to grow.

Chuck Norris was shot today

The bullet is in critical condition

Once Chuck Norris threw a knife in Call of Duty

And killed someone in Battlefield

Norris joke, Once Chuck Norris threw a knife in Call of Duty

Just found out Chuck Norris had a cameo in Star Wars...

he played The Force

Chuck Norris was abducted by aliens.

The aliens were never seen again.

It's a little known fact that chuck Norris was dropped twice as a child

Once on Hiroshima and once on Nagasaki

Chuck Norris was dropped twice as a baby.

We know them today as Nagasaki and Hiroshima.

Chuck Norris tested positive for COVID-19.

The virus is now in quarantine for two weeks.

What's the one office supply you never want to ask Chuck Norris to give you?

The Three-Hole Punch...

Chuck Norris diagnosed with Covid-19

Coronavirus now in quarantine for 14 days

Chuck Norris has a bear rug

No it's not dead it's just too scared to move

Chuck Norris caught Covid-19 yesterday

The virus is quarantined for two weeks

Chuck Norris caught COVID.

But then he felt bad, so he let it go.

Chuck Norris Joke

A priest, Jesus and Chuck Norris are on a sinking boat. Jesus starts to walk back to land. Chuck Norris does the same. The priest says "Lord, please let me walk on water", tries to walk but drowns. When Jesus and Chuck Norris got on land Jesus asked him "Shouldn't we have told him where the stones are"? And Chuck answered "Which stones"

Why doesn't Chuck Norris tell jokes?

His punch lines are deadly.

Sylvester Stallone, Chuck Norris and Arnold Schwarzenegger are sitting in a restaurant, and Sylvester Stallone is like: "Guys, we should make a movie with the three of us, but I'm all out of ideas at the moment, I'm kind of bored with the standard action flicks."

Chuck says: "Don't you have any ideas?"

"Yeah, this may sound silly, but I was actually thinking about doing a movie on great classical composers"

That's when Arnold trows himself in the conversation and says: "That sounds like a great idea! Sylvester, you can be Mozart, and Chuck can be Beethoven!"

"And who will you be, Arnold?"

"I'll be Bach."

When Chuck Norris updates Windows

...Microsoft accepts his terms and conditions

What is your favorite Chuck Norris joke?

**Chuck Norris is so tough he counted to infinity. Twice.**

Why are there no bridges named after Chuck Norris?

Nobody crosses Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris walked into a feminist convention

Walked out with a sandwich and his shirt ironed.

They were going to name a street after Chuck Norris…

Then they realized nobody can cross Chuck Norris and live.

Chuck Norris has f**... only once in his life.

It was during a vacation to the Sahara forest.

Did you hear about the fight between Chuck Norris and Superman?

The loser had to wear their underwear on the outside

Chuck Norris actually died four years ago

Death just hasn't worked up the courage to tell him yet.

What's the best Chuck Norris joke you've ever heard?

My personal favorite is: Chuck Norris was once bitten by a cobra snake. After 3 long days of suffering, the snake died

Once, Chuck Norris reached a point of no return….

…..and returned.

What is your best Chuck Norris joke(I'll start)

Chuck Norris doesn't pay attention, attention pays Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed 50 men.

It exploded and killed 20 more. Then he threw the pin and killed 10 more men.

What's your favourite Chuck Norris joke?

Let's start with one of my favs:
"Chuck Norris' password is the last 9 digits of pi."

Chuck Norris had cancer

The cancer died from Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris caught COVID-19 and the prognosis is not good.

Anyone wanting to say goodbye to the virus should visit the hospital tonight.


Chuck Norris once skydived and the parachute failed to open while mid-air

The next day, he demanded a refund.

If Chuck Norris hadn't existed...

Chuck Norris would have invented him.

Chuck Norris jokes never die..

Like Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris once threw a grenade and killed twenty people.

Then it exploded.

Chuck Norris killed 5 people with a sword

Then 20 more without the sheath

Chuck Norris got ambushed by terrorists with a $5,000,000 ransom

If the money wasn't paid within 24 hours, the terrorists would be beheaded

What did Chuck Norris do when his parachute failed to open?

Brought it back for a refund.

There was a street in my town named after Chuck Norris but the council had to rename it.

Nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives

When Chuck Norris was born…

The doctor said Congratulations! You have two healthy parents.

Chuck Norris didn't dial the wrong number

You answered the wrong phone

Chuck Norris can recite the entirety of pi.


We really need to stop with all the Chuck Norris jokes!!!

Do you want him to find out you're laughing at him?

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table...

Because Chuck Norris only recognizes the element of surprise.

Chuck Norris had a nightmare

The nightmare ran into its moms room crying

Chuck Norris's password is the last 9 digits of pi.

Chuck Norris can divide by 0.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice

Chuck Norris can cross a vector with a scalar

Chuck Norris is so tough he can draw a circle with exactly 100 degrees.

Chuck Norris is so badass he can find value of a variable in an expansion without factoring the coefficient within the expansion.

Chuck Norris is so tough he can draw an isosceles triangle with four perfectly identical vertices

Chuck Norris is so tough he can simplify an improper fraction without first dividing the denominator and using it to multiple the numerator.

Chuck Norris hit the longest home run in MLB history

He also caught that ball

What is the difference between Chuck Norris and John Wick?

Chuck Norris gets his revenge before you even think about killing his dog.

I don't understand why everyone says Chuck Norris is awesome.

Now, if you'll excuse me, there's someone at my front door.

Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris doesn't wear shoes to protect his feet from the ground...


He wears them to protect the ground from his feet

Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin

And giraffes were born

Chuck Norris killed 50 enemy combatants with a grenade

Then the grenade exploded.

Chuck Norris killed 100 men with just one bullet

There was no gun

Chuck Norris called 911

And asked if they needed help.

I'm fed up with all these Chuck Norris jokes on this Sub!

If he's such a tough badass, I dare him to come over here and smash my face against my keybhrbhdbvdggdvrvvhdhdbsbhdhebb

Dinosaurs once looked down on Chuck Norris.

Just once.

Chuck Norris chopped an onion

The onion cried.

One day, Chuck Norris was hit by a car

He then rushed the car to the nearest garage and paid for it's repair.

Chuck Norris can trisect an angle...

...With only a straight edge and a compass

Chuck Norris killed 50 enemies with a hand grenade.

Then the grenade exploded.

Remember that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes that make girls laugh. Many of the norris chuch norris puns are supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When a joke goes too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke becomes inappropriate.

We suggest you to use only working norris norris chuck piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and make them laugh.

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