Norm Jokes
59 norm jokes and hilarious norm puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about norm that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article dives into the world of Norm Jokes. It takes a closer look at famous Norm's like Norm OJ, Norm Crosby, and Norm Macdonald and the jokes that have been made about them. This article also looks at popular normie jokes and the importance of the yardstick in relation to Norm Jokes. Get ready to laugh out loud as you explore this lighthearted take on a serious subject.
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Funniest Norm Short Jokes
Short norm jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The norm humour may include short standard jokes also.
- A guy dies, goes to the gates of heaven, and starts telling Saint Peter a joke. 8 hours later, Peter finally gets impatient, interrupts him and says, "We don't have forever, Norm."
- Dali Lama said that killing for religion is unthinkable. Thanks a lot, Dali Lama… Nobody ever listens to the Dali Lama.
- People know I go to Las vegas a lot and they always ask if I saw the white tigers at the Mirage. I say, Only if they were sitting at the Let It Ride table.
- Did you hear about that large flightless bird that was excluded from societal norms? Apparently it was ostrich sized.
- Classic Norm McDonald I wouldn't necessarily call myself a fan of steampunk, but it's certainly the healthiest way to prepare punk.
- "I'm not a doctor But if you die...The cancer dies at the same time. So that's not a loss.. That's a draw"
- RIP Norm MacDonald - The coroner has released Norm Macdonald's official cause of death you guessed it, Frank Stallone
- Isn't it crazy every planet is named after a Greek God except for earth? It's just named after that stuff on the ground.
- Actual conversation between an elderly couple... "Norm, I only married you because of your sense of humor..."
"Dee, I only married you because of my sense of humor..." - I saw a pig, a cow, and a horse. I told my wife, Those look like some of your relatives.
She replied, Yeah, my in-laws!
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Norm One Liners
Which norm one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with norm? I can suggest the ones about ordinary and noun.
- So Norm Macdonald died As he would have wanted, there is no punchline.
- Have you ever heard of Supermans powerless cousin? Norm-El
- Norm Macdonald has died or so the Germans would have us believe
- Two gentiles meet on the street.
One says, "How's business?"
The other says, "Great!" - ID is a funny abbreviation. The I stands for I and D strands for dentification.
- I hate these to be continued norm on these jokes here. What they should do this...
- Which people were always 'up to date'? The Norms.
- I never buy Easter Seals... because I wouldn't know what to feed them.
Norm McDonald - Met a guy named Norm once He had no arms.
But seriously, true story. - I heard Bill Clinton got really drunk one day and had s**... with Hillary - Norm Macdonald
Norm Macdonald Jokes
Here is a list of funny norm macdonald jokes and even better norm macdonald puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The other day I tell my wife, "when I look into the mirror I only see an old fat man, I need you to make me feel better about myself." She says "you have perfect eyesight."
- When I was a child, they told me that The Children Are Our Future Then I grew up, and now they're saying it's actually these new children.
I know a Ponzi scheme when I see one.
Giggle-Inducing Norm Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about norm you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mode jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make norm pranks.
Why are normal human body temperatures around 98.7*F?
Because we're all a little obtuse.
Q&A
Q: What did Norman Bates call his little sister?
(You know you see it coming...)
A: Psycho-sis!
(I won't let the doorknob hit me on the way out..)
How many normal persons do it take to change a light bulb?
1
If Norman Bates was batman's dad..
would Alfred call Bruce, Master Bates?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I had a normal childhood
My mom only j**... me off once when I broke my arm, no more than that!
How does Norman Bates get to the Bates Motel?
He takes the psycho path! (I'll see myself out...)
When I bought this car, no one told me there would be three jews in the air conditioner
High, Norm and Max
Is your normal probability plot approximately linear?
Cause you can distribute your sample over me
Were the Normans shady?
To be frank, they turned out to be a fief.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Late one night, Norm answered the doorbell to find a 6 foot tall cockroach standing on the step.
The bug grabbed Norm by the collar, punched him in the eye, threw him across the living room and then ran off.
The next day, Norm went to see his doctor to have his bruised eye examined.
Ah, yes, the doctor said when Norm explained what happened. There's a n**... bug going around.
What happens when two normal people get together?
Pair-a-normal activity
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Is it normal if one of my t**...
Hangs lower than the other two?
What is the proper term for a lover of East Indian cuisine who doesn't deviate from the norm?
A naan conformist.
In normal election, you control who you put in power
In Mother Russia, Putin power controls you
Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it...
Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A normal p**... doesn't keep track of the men she's slept with.
It's the thot that counts.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The normal chicken goes
The normal chicken goes c**...-a-doodle-doo!
The retarted chicken goes doodle-doodle-c**...!
The gay chicken goes any-c**...-will-doo!
What's the difference between a social norm and a social more?
When you have an informal understanding that governs the behavior of members of a society, that a norm.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's a more.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If a normal guy m**... is called "beating his meat"...
...does it mean when a guy paralyzed from waist down m**..., he's "beating his veggies"?
Normal People: "Alright, time to go to bed."
Insomniacs: "Let's yeet these sheets!"
Normal People: Amiibo
Communists: Awiibo
It's normal to talk to pets, mirrors and walls.
It's normal to talk to pets, mirrors and walls during the quarantine. Just inform your psychiatrist if they talk back.
Normal people use their children's names to set their email passwords.
Elon Musk uses his email password to name his baby.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
As a former high schooler I'm glad online classes are becoming the norm. I remember having to witness teachers having s**... with kids, m**... being done in the bathrooms, and living with the fear of school shootings.
Being home schooled in Mississippi was rough.
Normal back: hurts, backstreet back:
Alright
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Monday is Oscar night, and three films, 'The English Patient,' 'Secrets and Lies' and 'Shine' are locked in a tight race in the category: Best picture there's not a chance in h**... I will ever see.
Oprah Winfrey's longtime boyfriend, Stedman Graham, has written a new book called 'You Can Make it Happen: A Nine-Step Plan For Success.' Step No. 1: become Oprah Winfrey's boyfriend. Then the other eight are just 'hang around.'
Paul McCartney will take part in this first live online chat May 17, and a record 2½ million calls have already come in for people hoping to have an actual moment of contact with the former Beatle. Although it should be noted that 2 million of those calls came from Ringo Starr.
Real estate mogul Donald Trump announced this week that after 3½ years of marriage, he is seeking a divorce from wife, Marla Maples. According to Trump, Maples violated part of their marriage agreement when she decided to turn 30.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In London, British scientists created a frog embryo without a head, a breakthrough that could lead to the production of headless human clones to provide organs and tissue for transplant, as well as horrific nightmares for the rest of my life.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Norm MacDonald died today
When he got to heaven, the angels told him it was mandatory that he take an eye exam to enter. And they all watched.
He read it out loud: E-I-E-I-Ohhh you guys are d**...!
RIP Norm.
my favourite Norm joke as told on his first Letterman appearance
So I had this dream today, you ever have this dream, and then you wake up, right in the middle of a great dream, and then you're back in the middle of your stinkin life again?
So then you try to fall asleep - redream it. Man that never works. Always end up with some weird mutation of your original dream there, you know. Like in the first dream, I was in a pool with Christie Brinkley and we were swimming towards each other. And then I woke up. So I fell asleep again, and ended up shooting pool with David Brinkley.
Norm Macdonald: I was gonna say that the Polish government did actually try to land on the Sun back in the..[interrupted: No, no they didn't.] (Norm continues) Yes, and they were ridiculed for it, because they said, you know, you'll burn up when you come anywhere near it.
They said 'we're going at night'
Norm Macdonald: "You want to know the worst part about doing an office congo line?"
"First, you turn around to realize there's no one behind you. Second, you realize you're not in an office, you're in a psychiatric hospital"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Honey, I look in the mirror and all I see is a fat, ugly, old man. I need you to pay me a compliment.
Ok. Your eyesight is d**... near perfect!
- Norm MacDonald
Me: Is it normal talking to myself?
Me: Yes it is.
Me: Oh, thank God.
