Nonplus Jokes
8 nonplus jokes and hilarious nonplus puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about nonplus that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Nonplus Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good nonplus joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday
A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyses, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.
The Swiss embassy has had it's flag stolen.
Ambassadors are nonplussed.
Two Ducks in the Road
Two ducks were waddling down the street in Buladean the other day when the first duck says, "Why do you suppose Jewish men get circumcised?"
To which the second duck, never having heard a talking duck before, keels over dead from the shock of it.
Nonplussed, the first duck says, "Because Jewish women like anything that's 20% off." because he wasn't going to stop for a dead duck in the road.
My girlfriend broke up with me for being a negative person.
Why am I nonplussed?
The addition function on my calculator is broken.
I'm nonplussed.
The number 0 went to an absolute value party to see what all the fuss was about
He was nonplussed.
Why did the negative number look so surprised?
He was nonplussed.
A drunk looks at his watch...
A man, who has fattened the coffers of the local pub this night, looks at his watch and says, "Well, it's about time I go home, and spend some quality time with the wife."
He gets out of his chair, and can't even take two steps without falling on his face. "Don't worry!" he yells, "I can just *crawl* home!" Everyone in the bar has a good laugh at his optimism, and the man crawls out of the bar.
Once outside, he realizes he needs to sober up. Takes a few deep breaths, uses a lamp post to pull himself up... and proceeds to fall flat on his face again. "I don't live *that* far..." the drunk reasons to himself. So he crawls home... it takes him nearly an hour to get there. He's finally at his front door, and he's trying to open it all silent-like, but his wife opens the door and has that scowl of *you-f**...-up*.
"How much did you have to drink tonight?" she asked, nonplused.
"I--" and before he can even lie, she says, "The bar called. You left your wheelchair there."
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