Nonchalantly Jokes

What are some Nonchalantly jokes?

A prisoner spends years digging a tunnel out of jail ...

He comes up inside a preschool yard. He starts jumping up and down and screaming "I'm free!! I'm free!!"

A little kid tugs on his pants. The prisoner looks down and the kid says nonchalantly: "So what? I'm four."

A man and his wife are driving home one night...

when a cop pulls them over. As they're sitting there waiting, the man realizes he doesn't have his seat belt on and nonchalantly puts it on before the cop walks up.

"Do you know why I pulled you over" the cop asks.
"No officer" the man replies.
"You were driving without a seat belt."
"You must be mistaken officer, I had my seat belt on, see!"
They go back and forth about whether the seat belt was on for a few minutes, getting gradually more heated.

The cop then leans down and says to the woman "Was this man driving without his seat belt?" The woman replies "Officer, after forty years of marriage to this man, I have learned one thing. Never argue with him when he's drunk!"

So my wife asked me yesterday "What would you do if You and I were 'Adam and Eve'?"

I replied nonchalantly, **"I'd fap and go to sleep. That would solve most problems."**

P.S: A'yup, I slept on the couch. :/

A panda walks into a restaurant

A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a meal. After the meal the waiter comes to the table to give the panda the check. Without a word the panda draws a gun and shoots the waiter dead. He then gets up nonchalantly and heads for the door. Seeing what just transpired the manager confronts the panda at the door.

" Hey, you just shot my waiter and didn't even pay for your meal!" screams the manager.

The panda replies "I'm a panda, it's what I do. Look it up."

As the panda walks out the door the manager runs to his office and looks up panda in the dictionary:

Panda- A mammal from the bear family with black and white markings originating from the continent of Asia.

Eats chutes and leaves.

Bamboo

A panda walks into a restaurant and orders a meal. After the meal the waiter comes to the table to give the panda the check. Without a word the panda draws a gun and shoots the waiter dead. He then gets up nonchalantly and heads for the door. Seeing what just transpired the manager confronts the panda at the door.

" Hey, you just shot my waiter!" screams the manager.

The panda replies "I'm a panda, it's what I do. Look it up."

As the panda walks out the door the manager runs to his office and looks up panda in the dictionary:

Panda\- A mammal from the bear family with black and white markings originating from the continent of Asia.

Eats shoots and leaves.

An ex-con goes out on a date...

So an ex-con is walking around the mall with his girlfriend after dinner, when they happen across a Jewelry store. The girlfriend eyes one of the necklaces on display in the window and says, "Wow, I'd sure love to have a necklace like that around my neck!" Nonchalantly, the ex-con smashes the window with a brick and hands his girlfriend the necklace, saying, "Anything for my baby."

They continue walking along and soon enough happen across a high-end clothing store. The girlfriend eyes one of the dresses on display in the window and says, "Wow, I'd sure love to have a dress like that to wear to parties!" Nonchalantly, the ex-con smashes the window with another brick and hands his girlfriend the dress, saying, "Anything for my baby."

They continue walking along and soon enough happen across a car dealership. The girlfriend eyes one of the Mercedes on display in the window and says, "Wow, I'd sure love to have that Mercedes to drive around town in!" The ex-con pauses and replies: "What? You think I'm made out of bricks?"

My wife made grilled cheese for dinner 4 days in a row

I come up to her and say "What's up honey, don't you have enough time to make dinner?"

She nonchalantly replies "No, I do"

Surprised, I quickly say "Then how come you're not taking the time to make a better and more nutritious dinner?"

She smirks and replies "The last 4 nights in bed, you had plenty of time, but you decided to finish quickly."

How to make Nonchalantly jokes?

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