Noah Flood Jokes
18 noah flood jokes and hilarious noah flood puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about noah flood that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Noah Flood Short Jokes
Short noah flood jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The noah flood humour may include short flood jokes also.
- Too much water joke God: Noah, what do you think of the great flood I used to purge all the evil on Earth?
Noah: Too much water. - God: Earth is going to be flooded. Someone should build an ark. Jesus: I Noah guy who can do it
Share These Noah Flood Jokes With Friends
Noah Flood One Liners
Which noah flood one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with noah flood? I can suggest the ones about flooded house and nile river.
- What kind of lights did Noah use on the Ark? Flood lights
- What did God say to all the animals during the Greaf Flood? Don't worry. I Noah guy
- What did Noah use to see at night on the Ark? Flood lights.
- If you need a boat when it starts flooding... I Noah guy.
Happy Noah Flood Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about noah flood you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean natural disasters jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make noah flood pranks.
Noah and the snakes
According to the Bible, Noah built an ark and brought a pair of each animals on board to survive a flood. When the ark ran aground Noah told the animals to go forth and multiply.
The snakes told Noah We can't multiply, we're adders.
Noah gathered some driftwood tree trunks and built a platform for the snakes. Even adders can multiply when given a log table.
You might have to be older than me to understand this. People on reddit who are older than me are rare, but they exist.
When Noah's Ark settled safely after the flood, he opened the doors and commanded the animals, Go forth and multiply."
All the animals departed from the Ark, except for two snakes in the back. Noah proclaimed again, Go forth and multiply, but the snakes stayed put. Perturbed, Noah asked them, Why have you not followed my command?
* We can't multiply. We're Adders. *
After The Flood...
After the flood, satisfied his work was done, Noah was inspecting the Ark one last time when he came across a pair of snakes.
"Why are you still here?" he asked in surprise. "It's safe now. Go forth! And multiply!"
The snakes stared at him in confusion.
"But....we're adders."
After the Great Flood
After the Great Flood, Noah sends the animals to go forth and multiply.
A pair of snakes stayed behind. Noah asked, why they stayed.
The pair of snakes replies We can't multiply, we're adders ...
so Noah builds them a log table
Noah is on mission from God to gather a pair of each animal
So he journeys far and wide to all the corners in the world to gather them up.
Once he came to Scotland, he told the natives: " Hear me! God is wrathful with mankind! Do gather up a breeding pair of each kind of animal and bring them to me. Once my task is complete, it shall rain for forty days and forty nights and the world will flood!"
The Scotsmen looked at each other and burst out laughing.
Noah, pretty irritated by that, asked: "God will literally wash you from the face of the earth! Why do you laugh?"
To which one Scotsman, snortingly, replied: "Forty days of rain ya say? Laddy, we're at day 75 and still countin'!"
The ark lands after The Flood.
Noah lets all the animals out. He says, "Go forth and multiply."
Several months pass. Noah decides to check up on the animals. All are doing fine except a pair of snakes. What's the problem?" says Noah. "Cut down some trees and let us live there", say the snakes. Noah follows their advice. Several more weeks pass. Noah checks on the snakes again. Lots of little snakes, everybody is happy.
Noah asks, "Want to tell me how the trees helped?" "Certainly", say the snakes.
"We're adders, and we need logs to multiply."
After the great flood, Noah begins unloading the ark, and instructs the animals to "go forth and multiply!"
Once most of the exodus has completed, he noticed a pair of adders in the back looking rather distraught. "What's the matter?" he asked them.
"We're only adders, we can't multiply!" said the snakes.
Thinking quickly, Noah dashed off into the forest, and returned a short time later carrying a felled tree over his shoulder. After flattening the sides, he placed it on the ground next to the adders, and said "Here's a log table, now even adders can multiply."
After the flood, Noah tells the animals from the Arc to "go forth and multiply."
After a few months, Noah figures he better wander around and see how the animals are doing. Everybody is happy until he comes across a couple of snakes - they are quite downcast and not very happy. Noah asks what wrong, and they say "We are Adders, so we can't multiply!"
Noah rubs his chin for a few moments, and then goes into the forest, cuts down a couple of trees, and makes a table out of them.
Then he puts the snakes up on the platform he has made, and says "Now you should be happy. Everybody knows that adders can multiply with log tables!"