No Knickers Jokes
66 no knickers jokes and hilarious no knickers puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about no knickers that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest No Knickers Short Jokes
Short no knickers jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The no knickers humour may include short knickers jokes also.
- Two guys are changing in a locker room, one is putting on lace knickers "Since when do you wear womens pants?"
"Since my wife found them in the glove compartment!" - I saw a 5 legged woman crying and I asked her why She said she could never get shoes to match. I tried to console her so I said at least your knickers fit like a glove
- I got beat up at a black lives matter rally for complaining about my underwear These knickers where just making me so uncomfortable
- Talking shoes What did the shoes say to the capri pants?
"What's up britches!"
What did the shoes say to the black underpants?
"Whassup my knickers?" - Bought the wife some meatloaf knickers for Xmas. The front says "I will do anything for love"
On the rear it says "but I won't do that" - I was buying the wife some underwear, I asked the shop assistant; Are these knickers satin?"
"No she said, They're brand new... - Why did the blonde get confused in the ladies toilet? She had to pull her knickers down herself.
- Ladies - how do you know if you are having a good time? When you throw your knickers against the wall, and they stay there.
- My girlfriend asked me to take off her bra and knickers... And to not put them back on again.
- Did you know my girlfriend is a fortune teller? Once a month I put my hand down her knickers and get my palm red!
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No Knickers One Liners
Which no knickers one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with no knickers? I can suggest the ones about underpants and panties.
- When I get home I'm gonna rip the wife's knickers off The elastic's killing me 😫
- I call this poem Old Women's Knickers Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Ethels are green - What did the rapper say when he couldn't find his pants? "Where my knickers at?"
- An ode to old ladies knickers. Rose's are red
Violet's are blue
Ethel's are green - Did ya hear about the woman with five legs? Her knickers fitted her like a glove.
- How do you tell if a girl is wearing no knickers By the dandruff on her shoes
- What did the brittish gangster say when they lost there pants? Where my knickers at!?
- What do you call two robbers? A pair of knickers.
- Why are British seamstresses the best? Knicker, pleats.
- What do you call a guy that really loves pants? A 'knicker' lover
- What underpants do English police wear? Knickers.
- Old Age Pensioner's Knickers roses are red.
violets are blue.
ethyls are green. - The best thing about the south is... They still hang their knickers in the front lawn.
No Knickers Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about no knickers you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean knockers jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make no knickers pranks.
The wife's just said to me "Can you explain why I've just found another womans knickers in your coat pocket?"
I said "Yes, I can explain. It's because you're a nosy ****!"
I bought the Mrs some crotchless knickers for Halloween.
Nothing s**... it's just to give her a better grip on her broomstick:
I recall my first time with a c**......
I must have been 16.I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, "No, this is my first time."So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty."Just a minute." she said, and walked to the door, and locked it.Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside."Do these excite you?" she asked.Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was shake my head. She then said it was time to slip the c**... on.As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her knickers and sat down at a desk."Well, come on," she said, "we don't have much time."So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW. I was done within a few minutes.She looked at me with a bit of a frown, "Did you put that c**... on?" she asked.I said, "I sure did." and held up my thumb to show her.She fainted.
I know I need to lose weight when..
I ask my boyfriend "do I look fat in these knickers ? " and he says " what knickers ?"
3 young lads trying to get into heaven.
One Christmas eve three young fellas were out on the crawl drinking and partying. All at once a bus came and killed them outright. They came to St Peter at the pearly gates and he told them there was no entry unless they had a Christmassy item to give him. The first fella rumaged in his pockets and pulled out his keys, he shook them and said, 'These are Christmas bells.' The second man pulled out his lighter, held the flame in the air and said, 'It is the star in the east.' St Peter turned to the third man and raised his eyebrows, 'what about you' the man pulled out a pair of ladies knickers. Peter was shocked and exclaimed, 'what are those', the man replied, 'They're Carol's'
"Have you ever seen a twenty pound note all crumpled up?" asked the wife.
"No," I said.
She gave me a s**... little smile, reached into her cleavage and pulled out a crumpled twenty pound note.
"Have you ever seen a fifty pound note all crumpled up?" she asked.
"No," I said.
She gave me another s**... little smile, reached into her knickers and pulled out a crumpled fifty pound note.
"Now," she said, "have you ever seen 30,000 pounds all crumpled up?"
"No," I said, intrigued.
"Well, go and take a quick look in the garage."
I recall my first time with a c**..., I must have been 16.
I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.
She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one. I honestly answered, "No, this is my first time."
So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused. So she looked all around the store to see if it was empty. It was empty.
"Just a minute." she said, and walked to the door, and locked it.
Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside.
"Do these excite you?" she asked.
Well, I was so dumb-struck that all I could do was shake my head. She then said it was time to slip the c**... on.
As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her knickers and sat down at a desk.
"Well, come on," she said, "we don't have much time."
So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful, that unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW. I was done within a few minutes.
She looked at me with a bit of a frown, "Did you put that c**... on?" she asked.
I said, "I sure did." and held up my thumb to show her.
So I'm at the dentist's office...
...in the waiting room when this woman comes storming out, shouting curses and threatening to sue. When she's gone, the dentist is standing in the doorway, speechless, so I ask him, "gee, doc, what's got her knickers in a twist?" And he says, "I don't know, I just asked her to take a shot in the mouth."
A Brit shopping for pants just caused a riot at a Black Lives Matter protest outside our local Walmart
He asked someone if the store sold knickers.
p**... rings his new girlfriend's door
p**... rings his new girlfriend's door bell, with a big bunch of flowers.
She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in.
She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says 'This is for the flowers!'
'Don't be silly,' says p**..., 'You must have a vase somewhere!'
A woman came into our work yesterday to give us all a talk about s**... harassment in the work place.
A woman came into our work yesterday to give us all a talk about s**... harassment in the work place. After the presentation she asked, "Has anyone got any questions?"
I put my hand up and asked, "What colour knickers have you got on?"
I thought my new girlfriend might be the one.
But after looking through her knicker drawer and finding a nurse's outfit, a French maids outfit, and a police woman's uniform, I finally decided; if she can't hold down a job, she's not for me.
Why was Kim Kardashian arrested at the airport?
She had two pounds of crack in her knickers.
I was sat on the beach with my girlfriend the other day.
After a while, I turned to her and said, "If you were to see someone in a bra and knickers at the beach, you would think they are crazy. But somehow it's perfectly acceptable to wear a bikini, which is s**... as it's basically the same thing."
She said, "I don't care. Please, just take them off."
A guy ring's his new girlfriend's doorbell
She sees him holding a beautiful bouquet of roses and drags him in.
She lies on the couch, pulls her skirt up, and rips her knickers off and says "This is for the flowers!"
"Don't be silly" says her boyfriend, "you must have a vase somewhere!"
Some dude went to a Halloween party dressed as Santa.
He was approached by someone who said "Really? You dressed as Santa?"
The man replied "Almost. You see, I went commando."
The person was surprised at the response. So he asked "why does that change anything?"
The man smiled, and slyly replied "Today, I am dressed as Saint Knicker-less"
I went for a romantic break with the wife
She came out of the bathroom and said "take off my dress"
As I peeled off her dress, she said "take off my bra"
My hands trembled as I unclasped the strap. Then came "take off my knickers"
I slowly pulled them down, and she shouted
"and I don't ever want to catch you wearing them again!"
Today on Words that sound bad but aren't; Knickers
Todd, Did you steal all my Knickers again?
Dammed Knickers taking all the good boys away from all the good p**... women.
My wife came rushing in out of the garden and said, "There's a pair of my knickers missing off the washing line."
I said, "I know, the two kids from next door have them." She said, "The dirty little perverts." I said, "It's nothing like that, they mentioned something about building an hammock."
I've bought the wife a pair of crotchless knickers ready for Halloween.
There's nothing s**... in it, it's just that she'll get a better grip on her broomstick.
Bob is walking down the street when he says his old friend John passing in a brand new Rolls Royce
On seeing his old friend, John pulls over to say hello.
Bob sees the Rolls Royce and exclaims," Wow, how did you get the great car?"
John says," So I was going out for a walk on a sunny afternoon when a beautiful woman pulled over in this Rolls Royce and asked if I wanted a lift, so I got in.
She drove for a while before she asked me to kiss her, so I did.
We drove for a bit more, then suddenly she pulled over, went to the back seat, took off all her clothes except for her silk knickers
She said," Take anything you want from me"
I knew the knickers would never fit me, so I took the car."
p**... rings his new girlfriend's door bell
p**... rings his new girlfriend's door bell, holding a
big bunch of flowers.
She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in.
She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips
her knickers off and says
'This is for the flowers!'
'Don't be silly,' says p**...,
'You must have a vase somewhere!'
Little Emily went home from school and told her mum that the boys kept asking her to do cartwheels because she's very good at them. Mum said, "You should say "No", they only want to look at your knickers."
Emily said, "I know they do. That's why I hide them in my bag"!
Two blondes are chatting in a bar.
Eventually it's time for one to leave. She'd kicked off her shoes whilst sitting. As she slipped them back on the second blonde noticed an R and an L on them.
"Hey, what are those letters for, " she asked.
"Oh it's so i get them on the correct feet. L for left and R for right."
The second blonde pondered this for a moment.
"That's genius," she eventually exclaimed, "and now I understand why my knickers say C&A!"
I just can't stop ogling at hot 18 year olds dressed in nothing but p**....
I could say I've a knicker teen addiction.
"Mommy, mommy! Suzy at school was showing the boys her knickers for a penny."
*Oh my goodness, my son. What did you do?*
"I came straight home, of course!"
*That's my good boy.*
"Mom?"
*Yes, my son?*
"May I please have a penny?"
Little Susie came home from school and told her mum the boys kept asking her to do cartwheels
"you should tell them No, they only want to see your knickers" said her mum
"I know that, that's why I hide them in my bag"
I was in a fancy l**... shop, and I asked the cashier if these knickers were satin..
She said 'no, they're brand new!'
An Irishman goes to buy some wellies
The assistant hands him a pair and he tries one on.
Noticing that he's having difficulty, she gently says:
"Sir, if you look under the soles, you'll see L and R, for Left and Right"
The ponders this for a moment and then blurts out:
"To be sure, beghora, that'll be why me wife's knickers have got C&A written on them!"
As I knelt down with a pair of size 4 shoes in front of this blonde in a short skirt, I couldn't resist a quick glance at her knickers:
"Hey cheeky!" She said as she gave me a playful kick. "I bet the only reason you work here is to look up girls' skirts isn't it?"
"That's an absolutely ridiculous accusation, madam." I said sternly. "I don't even work here."